Pulse Wrestling’s EXCLUSIVE WWE No Way Out Real-Time Coverage
By Paul Marshall
Comment on tonight’s Pay-Per-View by scrolling down to the end of this report.
You have to give WWE credit to go out of their way with their opening videos. Tonight, the legend killer becomes the hunted as the son becomes the avenger. Tonight, a man fights to keep his name and to get out of the clutches of a power-hungry employer. Tonight, two champions face difficult odds inside the Elimination Chamber.
WE ARE LIVE FROM SEATTLE!
We’re kicking tonight’s show off with the WWE Championship Elimination Chamber Match! Okay…personally, I wouldn’t started with this match, but eh.
WWE Championship Elimination Chamber Match
The Undertaker v. Big Show v. Vladmir Koslov v. Triple H v. Jeff Hardy v. Edge©
Jeff Hardy and Edge will begin the match while Trips, Koslov, Big Show, & Taker will be in the pods. Trips takes it to Big Show with his water spit and that PISSES THE GIANT OFF! HAHA!
The intervals seem to be five minutes, but we’ll see. The bell sounds and Hardy takes it to Edge in the corner. To the ropes we go and Edge goes down. Edge reverses a reversal and takes over with a big boot. He covers Jeff for two. Hardy gets choked out in the ropes and that gets two. Edge posts Hardy in the corner and he uses the clock wisely. He mocks the Big Show and he goes corner to corner, but Hardy counters with a hurrancurana. Double leg drop connects as does the dropkick and Hardy goes for the Twist of Fate, countered to the Edgucation, countered back to the Twist of Fate. Hardy goes for the Swanton and he misses! Spear attempt gets a inside cradle AND EDGE IS ELIMINATED!
Eliminated: Edge
Didn’t see that coming. The five minute clock is still not up as Edge is forced out of the ring. I’m still waiting for Vickie to overrule it, but it does not happen. The pods light up and next in the ring is Vladmir Koslov!
Hardy runs into a big boot and Koslov tosses him around like a rag doll. He brutalizes him in the corner, but Hardy finds an opening. Off the top…BATTERING RAM HITS! Koslov uses the chain as a tag team partner as Hardy is in trouble. Koslov rams Hardy’s back against the chain and hits a fall away slam back in the ring for two. Koslov hangs Hardy in the corner and hits a few headbutts in the back. KICK TO THE STERNUM and Hardy gets fall away slammed…for TWO!
Backbreaker connects and that gets two for Koslov. Koslov works a greco-roman hold on Hardy as we are nearing the five minutes as a one-on-one contest. Hardy tries to fight back, but Koslov is too strong. Koslov picks Hardy up, but Hardy falls off and he hits a turnbuckle dropkick! Hardy goes for a cover, but only gets two. Hardy hits the Whisper in the Wind and our next entrant is…Big Show!
Show goes after Hardy and he tosses him around like a doll. He steps on Hardy and this allows Koslov to recover. Headbutt by Show and Koslov hits a headbutt of his own. It seems the monsters are working together. Gut shot by Show and Koslov follows suit with a knee shot. Scoop slam by Show and that is followed by a scoop slam by Koslov. Boring chants by the crowd at this time. Show takes too long and Hardy gets out of it for a second. Headbutt by Show, elbow drop by Koslov. Hardy will be sore tomorrow morning. Hardy gets chopped in the corner and Koslov decides to turn on Big Show with a battering ram. This does not phase Show and they lock up. Show is the stronger of the two. He takes it to Koslov and they battle back and forth. Suplex attempt by Show, but that is blocked and the clock counts down. Koslov gets Show in the corner. Trips comes in. Game on.
Trips takes it to the Big Show with the knee smash. High knee to Koslov and Trips goes to Show. SPINEBUSTER TO BIG SHOW! Hardy is up and down again. Koslov gets sent to the steel beam out of the ring. Koslov blocks a shot against the cage, but Trips looks for a Pedigree. Show stops it and he headbutts Trips. Body shots in the corner and Koslov goes after Hardy. Trips walks into a sidewalk slam and Show gets two. Koslov chokes away in the corner on Hardy and Taker wants in the match. Trips tries to fight out of Show’s clutches and is unsuccessful while Hardy is practically dead in the other corner. Show looks for a chokeslam, but Trips gets out of it. Trips off the ropes…big press slam by Show. Trips falls out of the ring and Show follows. Trips gets sent HARD AGAINST THE STEEL CHAIN! Show squashes Trips like a bug. Hardy bails off the top, but Shoe catches him. Show tries to squash Hardy, but he hits the chain himself. Trips and Hardy double suplex Koslov, but Hardy hits the Whisper in the Wind as Taker comes in.
Show takes care of Show on the outside and he takes care of Koslov in the inside. Snake Eyes connects as does the big boot! Taker derails Trips and Hardy and he goes for a double chokeslam, but Show stops it. Taker hits a lariat on Show and he wants a victim. Trips gets taken Old School, but he jumps off and gets caught by Show. DDT ON THE STEEL! Old School again on Trips and that connects. Big Boot for Hardy and Koslov hits a battering ram on Taker. Koslov takes it to Taker and he goes on top with the 10 strikes. Taker counters to a LAST RIDE POWERBOMB! He pins Koslov!
Eliminated: Vladmir Koslov
Big Show chokeslams Taker after the elimination and Trips and Hardy get sent into the steel flooring as Koslov leaves the chamber. Trips gets sent to the chain, but Hardy kicks Show and Hardy CLIMBS THE STEEL! He is on the pod and SHOW SLAMS THE DOOR ON HARDY’S LEG! Show tries to climb on the pod, but Taker gets on the ropes…SUPERPLEX! OH HOLY GOD ALMIGHTY! Hardy is reeling on top of a pod. Trips takes advantage and hits the Pedigree on Show. Hardy gets up…oh no… SWANTON BOMB FROM ON TOP OF THE POD! HOLY SH*T! Trips covers Show and he’s gone!
Eliminated:Â Big Show
Taker dodges the Whisper in the Wind. Trips and Taker take it to each other in the corner. Taker reverses and hits the body shots. Trips gets sent over the turnbuckle and onto the steel. He landed awkardly from my angle. Hardy gets sent Old School, but Trips crotches Taker on the ropes! POETRY IN MOTION TO TRIPS! Taker hits the Tombstone on Hardy and gets the three!
Eliminated: Jeff Hardy
It’s down to Trips and Taker. They stand up in the ring. Trips rushes and gets jabbed in the throat. Taker takes it to Trips in the corner. Trips drops to a knee and Taker continues the destruction. Taker charges and Trips moves out of the way. Taker gets sent to the chain and he falls back inside the ring. Trips goes to the top and he bails into a chokeslam by Taker! Cover by Taker and HE ONLY GETS TWO! Snake Eyes by Taker…off the ropes…SPINEBUSTER BY TRIPS! That gets two for Trips! Taker gets sent to the chain…Pedigree attempt is countered to a catapult…Trips has to be done. Taker repeats LAST YEAR’s MOVE OF THE MATCH! TOMBSTONE CONNECTS IN THE RING…BUT THE MATCH IS NOT OVER AS TRIPS GETS THE LEG ON THE ROPE!
Trips gets up and he pedigrees Taker…he covers and ONLY GETS A TWO COUNT! THE MATCH CONTINUES HOLY SH*T! Trips crawls over to the corner where Taker is at and Taker pulls Trips up. They slug it out in the corner and Taker gets the upperhand. Trips comes back, but Taker sends him down. Corner to corner sends Taker to the turnbuckle. 10 Strikes in the corner and LAST RIDE ATTEMPT…COUNTERED! PEDIGREE AGAIN! Trips covers and it is done!
Winner and NEW WWE Champion: Triple H
Grade: A+
Edge is bitching because he thought his shoulder was up. Vickie says that its his fault and he lost. She didn’t mean it that way. Edge is shocked.
We’re throwing fish in Seattle and I’m reminded of the “Fish Market Street Fight” that TNA put on some time ago. We go into serious mode for our next match – NO…HOLDS…BARRED!
Before we get to the match, Randy has a message for Shane. He asks how his father is doing. Tonight will be the first time that Vince will be helpless as Shane will be crying for his life. Randy won’t stop until the McMahon family is destroyed. This is his legacy and it will be made at the expense of theirs.
No Holds Barred
Randy Orton v. Shane McMahon
The bell sounds and Shane dances around the ring. Randy gets cold cocked in the face, HAHA! Randy runs into another one and Shane goes wild on Orton. Orton gets to the ropes. Shane gets pummelled in the corner as Orton finds the magic. Shane gets a gut shot in and it is a fist fight to begin the match. Baseball slide connects and he looks under the ring. Out comes a table and Shane leans it up backwards against the ring. He pulls a trash can out and Orton hits the 3.0 Backbreaker! Orton thrusts Shane against the apron a couple times. Back inside we go and Orton gleams with joy. Kick to the chest and Shane gets suplexed on the canvas. The turnbuckle gets exposed. Shane gets sent to it back first and he gets kicked to the canvas. Orton toys around, kicking him out of the ring.
Orton takes too much time and he pays for it with a stick by Shane. Shane rips a new asshole on Orton with the stick! Kendo stick shot to the gut and Orton is in pain! Shane swings for the fences and Orton takes a powder…for a second. CLOTHESLINE TO ORTON and Shane is taking apart the SmackDown table. Orton gets back up…TV MONITOR SHOT TO THE TEMPLE AND ORTON IS BUSTED OPEN! Shane places Orton on the table and he goes inside the ring! Orton is bleeding profusly! Shane goes to the top and DiBiase and Rhodes assault Shane! Thought they were barred from the match? Chairs gets sent into the ring. Rhodes gets ready and Shane lets the chair hit DiBiase! DDT TO RHODES ONTO THE CHAIR! Orton is still down, out, and a bloody mess! Shane sets Cody up…COAST TO COAST ATTEMPT…IT HITS! Shane goes back up top and he makes the move…ORTON MOVES AND SHANE HITS TABLE!
Orton tells DiBiase to take Rhodes out of the ring and make sure he is alright, not to worry about him. Shane crawls back inside the ring. He is stopped and Orton hits the SPIKE DDT and Shane has to be in lala land. Cover by Randy gets two…Orton tries to gets the cover and Shane keeps kicking out. Orton brings the table inside the ring and sets it up. Shane gets up halfway and Orton punches the kidney area. Orton sets Shane up on top. Orton climbs up and…SUPERPLEX THROUGH THE TABLE! SHANE HAS TO BE DEAD! Orton covers…BUT BY THE POWER OF GOD…SHANE KICKS OUT! Orton sends Shanes head against the table and we get Vintage Orton. Orton gets a cover and gets another two count. Corner punt attempt…SHOULDER TACKLE TO ORTON! Shane grabs the chair. Shane cracks the chair against Orton’s back! Orton gets a shot against the ankle a couple times…and a third! Orton begs off, but Shane is having none of it…or is he. CHAIR TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD! Shane calls Orton to get up. Shane readies himself…Punt is countered to a RKO AND ORTON WINS!
Winner: Randy Orton
Grade: A
Wrestlemania 25 promo airs.
ECW Championship Match
Jack Swagger © v. Finlay
They circle the ring before locking up. Finlay takes it to Swagger in the corner and he gets on a half Boston Crab. Swagger gets the ropes, but is pulled away. We want Christan chants emit as Finlay keeps the hold on. Finlay breaks his own hold and he targets Swagger’s injured leg. Drop toe hold to Finlay and Swagger kicks Finlay to the ring post. Swagger with the knees and he locks on a key lcok variant, or what it looks like to me. Swagger works the arm at the ropes and he hits a shoulderbreaker suplex…for TWO! Cross-arm breaker by Swagger and Finlay is in trouble. Finlay gets out of it, but Swagger reapplies the hold. Knee to the face and Swagger thrusts away. Suplex attempt is countered to a reverse backbreaker…FOR TWO! Swagger powers Finlay in the corner and he charges. Finlay drops to a knee and Swagger stops. Finlay was playing possum…pin attempt gets one! This is boring chants play out. Swagger takes it to Finlay in the corner. Superplex attempt is countered. Finlay goes to the top and Hornswaggle comes out. Crossbody connects and that gets two. Finlay gets the clotheslines and drops the hips for TWO! Thrust in the corner…Corner to Corner we go and Finlay goes for the Celtic Cross, but Hornswoggle distracts. Finlay gets sent to his son and the Gutwrench Powerbomb connects. Swagger retains!
Winner: Jack Swagger
Grade: C+
We get serious as Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler pimp our next match. Shawn is deep in thoughts as we go to the pimp video.
All or Nothing Match
John Bradshaw Layfield v. Shawn Michaels
JBL stares at Shawn’s wife, who is in attendance tonight. The bell sounds and JBL continues to stare at Rebecca. They lock up in the center and JBL is the aggressor. He talks smack to Shawn saying one mistake is all he needs. They lock up again and JBL once again sends Shawn in the corner. Shawn breaks out and he beats the holy hell out of JBL. He rolls out of the ring, taking a powder. JBL gleams and JBL hands Shawn a chair. Shawn drops it and he beats JBL senseless. Back inside the ring, JBL takes control. Sunset flip is countered by JBL for two. Backslide gets one and Michaels gets knocked down. JBL drops the elbows for two. Shawn hits a chopblock and he locks on a Figure Four! JBL gets to the ropes, but Shawn keeps it on for four seconds. Crossface attempt gets countered. JBL reverses a whip and Shawn goes up and over and out of the ring! JBL drops the elbows several times and covers for two.
Short arm clothesline by JBL gets him another two on Shawn as the pace is being set. Shawn gets pie-faced in the corner as JBL is breaking the rules himself. He continues the pressure and we go corner to corner. Bearhug by JBL and Shawn is in trouble. Shawn tries to get out of it and he is successful. Chop by Michaels and HE HITS THE NECKBREAKER! Both men get up and Michaels hits the atomic drop. Another atomic drop connects and JBL gets chopped in the corner. Shawn gets sent to the corner and he oversells it. He gets set up in the corner. Every match had at least one superplex attempt so far tonight. Superplex attempt is blocked! JBL falls off and Shawn drops the elbow! JBL moves out of the way at the last second! Clothesline From Hell connects and JBL covers…TWO! TWO! SHAWN IS NOT DONE YET! JBL hits a SECOND CLOTHESLINE FROM HELL! Shawn is on the edge of the ring as Rebecca looks on. Shawn rolls out of the ring and he lets the referee count. Shawn beats the count at nine! JBL tosses Shawn out of the ring for another count to begin. This time, JBL decides to leave too and talk to Rebecca. HAHA, YOU PIECE OF SH*T! Rebecca BITCHSLAPS JBL! Shawn IS A HOUSE ON FIRE! He kips up and he connects a Thez Press! Scoop Slam connects and he goes up top for the Flying Elbow. He tunes up the band! SWEET CHIN MUSIC! He covers and HE WINS! HE WINS!
Winner: Shawn Michaels
Grade: B
Wrestlemania 25 promo.
T-Grish is standing by with Chris Jericho. Jericho will be in this match for a fifth time. He says he will leave the ring the new champion. He says that when he becomes champion, he would challenge Flair for a title match, but he won’t do that.
World Heavyweight Championship Elimination Chamber Match
John Cena © v. Mike Knox v. Kane v. EDGE v. Chris Jericho v. Rey Mysterio
As Kofi makes his way to the ring, EDGE ATTACKS! HE IS PISSED OFF! He grabs a chair and he ANNIHILIATES KINGSTON WITH A CONCHAIRTO! Edge asks to get placed inside the chamber and Rey comes out to the ring! Trainers come out to look at Kofi as Rey tries to take it to Edge. Chris Jericho makes his way to the ring as we are unsure what the hell is going on. Kofi is being taken out of the ring area so it appears that he is out of the match. It looks as if Edge is going to replace Kofi Kingston tonight.
Jericho and Mysterio jockey for position and Jericho takes control. Jericho gleams with happiness, but Rey sends him up and over. Jericho gets set up for the 619, but Jericho goes out of the ring. That’s ok, Rey takes him out anyway. Rey sends him back inside the ring amd we go to work. Corner to corner we go and JERICHO SENDS REY HARD…INTO THE PLEXIGLASS! Stalling Brainbuster by Jericho and he covers for two. Chinlock time, I think this is the first one of the night! Rey gets out of it and he gets sent HARD ON THE STEEL FLOOR! Jericho catapults Rey to the chain, but he climbs to the top of the chamber. HURRACURRANA CONNECTS! Seated senton hits and Jericho kicks out at TWO! Kick to the legs and Rey hits a bulldog! Next into the match is…KANE!
Kane takes Rey and Jericho out before staring coldly at Edge. Jericho attacks and he fails. Rey gets taken down with a side slam for two. Kane works on Jericho and teeth go flying. Back to Mysterio…LOW DROPKICK CONNECTS and Mysterio kicks out at two. Jericho comes back at Kane and he gets jabbed for his efforts. Jericho lands knee first on the steel and Kane works the knee. Rey takes it to Kane and Kane is on the steel. Baseball slide hits and Kane and Jericho are on the outside. Jab to Mysterio and Kane is back in control. Rey evades a Kane charge and he reverses a side slam into a tilt-a-whirl face plant. Lionsault by Jericho is countered and Rey posts Kane. Jericho gets set up for the 619 and Kane stops it. 619 on Kane! Codebreaker on Kane and Mysterio goes on top of a pod! SEATED SENTON AND KANE IS GONE!
Eliminated: Kane
The clock counts down and the next person in the ring is…MIKE KNOX! He kicks Mysterio into next week before going after Jericho. Back to Rey and Knox is a monster. Back to Jericho and he gets slammed to the canvas. Knee drop on Jericho for two. Knox steps on Mysterio, but Jericho comes after him. Jericho sends Knox up and over onto the steel! Springboard dropkick by Jericho and he is caught! He meets the chains in a way that he didn’t want to mee them. Knox is strong and Rey looks on. He jumps on Knox and he gets hurled off him and his back hits the chain! Knox HOOKS REY AGAINST THE CHAIN LINKS AND HE ATTACKS! That could break a leg! He goes after Jericho and he abuses Cena’s pod. He throws Jericho inside the ring and he sends Rey in as well. Rey goes to the ropes, and he tries to attack, but Knox is too strong. Awkward backbreaker by Knox and Jericho HITS THE CODEBREAKER! Knox is gone!
Eliminated: Mike Knox
Countdown and Edge is in the ring! Rey attacks away and Edge runs away from him! Crossbody connects and Rey is all over Edge. Jericho saves Edge from Rey’s attack and he hits a side slam on him. Edge goes after Jericho…big mistake. Corner to corner and Jericho hits the bulldog! Jericho and Mysterio go at it and Mysterio eats elbow. Lionsault is blocked with Mysterio’s knees. Edg-O-Matic connects and gets two as Edge goes after Mysterio. Corner to corner we go and Mysterio hits the turnbuckle face first. Edge looks for the spear. Jericho gets the Codebreaker, but Edge holds on! Edge is set up for the 619, but Jericho intercepts into the CODEBREAKER! Superplex attempt IN THIS MATCH! Well, not quite. The three men are on top…TOWER OF F*CKING DOOM! All three men are down! Edge is up and he stomps on Mysterio. He then takes it to Jericho and he lands on the steel. Cena is in next!
HE GOES AFTER EDGE! Cena is a one man army, taking Edge and Jericho down. Jericho goes out of the ring. PROTOBOMB! Edge is in trouble! YOU CAN’T SEE ME! Edge gets set up for the Attitude Adjustment, but Jericho hits the CODEBREAKER! Rey hits the 619, Edge hits the Spear and CENA IS GONE!
Eliminated: John Cena
Rey tries to fight off Edge and Jericho. He takes it to both men…HURRANCURANA TO BOTH MEN! 619 attempt connects on Jericho! Mysterio goes for the senton, but Jericho gets the Walls locked on! REVERSAL…JERICHO IS GONE!
Eliminated: Chris Jericho
It’s Edge and Rey now. Edge looks for the spear…SPEAR IS MISSED! Rey rolls Edge up and gets TWO! TWO! Edge sends Rey to the ropes…SPRINGBOARD CROSSBODY AND EDGE KICKS OUT AT TWO! Edge sets up for the sunset flip, but Rey kicks Edge into next week…TWO! TWO ONLY! Michael Cole can’t commentate! Edge sends Rey to the ropes…CAUGHT BY EDGE, TORNADO DDT BY REY!…TWO! TWO! TWO! WHAT WILL IT TAKE?!
Rey goes onto the steel and takes to the ropes. Edge kicks Rey off and he lands on the steel. Both men are now on the steel flooring and Edge stalks Rey. Edge goes for a powerbomb, but REY SENDS EDGE FACE FIRST TO THE STEEL! REVERSE 619 CONNECTS! Rey runs…EDGE LIFTS HIM UP AND REY GOES ALMOST THROUGH THE PLEXIGLASS! HE HAS TO BE DEAD! HOLY F*CKING SH*T! Edge looks for the kill and he gets it! EDGE STEALS THE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP!
Winner and NEW World Heavyweight Champion: Edge
Grade: A+
Ladies and Gentlemen, the Road to Wrestlemania has hit a huge DETOUR! Triple H wins the WWE Championship, Edge loses the WWE Championship, and Edge wins the World Heavyweight Championship! Stay tuned for the No Way Out Report Card shortly!
Show Over.
The WWE No Way Out Report Card
Edge wins the World Heavyweight Championship Elimination Chamber: A+
Shawn Michaels d. JBL: B
Jack Swagger d. Finlay: C+
Randy Orton d. Shane McMahon: A
Triple H wins the WWE Championship Elimination Chamber: A+
Extra Credit: The WWE takes us on a detour to Mania with two surprising title changes!
The Final Grade for WWE No Way Out 2009: A
The Inside Pulse
Damn, this Pay-Per-View was filled with a lot of action and this is on pace to be a candidate for 2009 PPV of the Year. No one expected the title changes and no one expected Edge leaving a champion. What will happen tomorrow night on RAW? Tune into my live report tomorrow night at 9PM Eastern!
