The SmarK DVD Rant for The Best of Saturday Night’s Main Event

The SmarK DVD Rant for The Best of Saturday Night’s Main Event

I have been waiting anxiously for this one for a while now.

Disc One

– Hosted by Mean Gene

– So let us take you back to the Rock N Wrestling era in 1985, as SNME replaces SNL reruns once every few weeks…

WWF World title: Hulk Hogan v. Cowboy Bob Orton

Hogan and Mr. T rip each others’ shirts off to start. And people thought Piper and Orton were gay? Orton tries the sneak attack, but Hogan chases him out of the ring and then back in for a backdrop. Three bodyslams and Orton takes a powder and finally gets his chaps off. Back in, Orton misses a charge and hits the post, allowing Hogan to work on the broken arm. He’s got a CAST. Clearly it’s broken! What kind of sportsmanship is that? Orton comes back with a high knee that looked like it was supposed to be a dropkick, and he drops a fist to take over. Atomic drop gets two. Orton punches Hogan to his knees, but it’s time for the comeback. Clothesline and elbowdrop get two for Hulk, and he pounds away in the corner until Orton takes him down with an atomic drop. He sets up for the superplex, but Hogan elbows him down and drops the leg, bringing Piper in for the DQ at 7:24. Given 15 minutes at a house show this would have been pretty good, actually. **1/4 Clearly they were still mastering the visual and audio feel of the show, as the lights are dimmer and the crowd isn’t as overly jacked as they would make it seem later on.

– Uncle Elmer’s wedding begins a great tradition of nuptials on wrestling shows turning into a three-ring circus.

Paul Orndorff v. Rowdy Roddy Piper

One of the greatest feuds that never got settled or even had a finish. Piper slugs Orndorff down and gives him an Orton punt, but Paul fires back and bites him on the mat. They rip and tear at each other on the mat and Piper gets a DDT out of it and boots him out of the ring. They brawl to the floor and Piper hits him with a chair, but Orndorff sends him into the table and they head back in. Orndorff comes off the top with a big elbow and adds a backdrop suplex, but Piper pokes him in the eyes and puts him down with a kneelift. They collide and knock each other out, but Orndorff recovers in time to block a splash. They fight up and out of the ring, and it’s a double countout at 4:00, brawling all the way to the back. And we continue from there with Piper hiding in the dressing room and locking the door. Should have been a hardcore match on PPV to blow it off. **

– “Jungle” Gene tours the zoo with George Steele.

– Halloween with the WWF. Roddy Piper’s trick-or-treating tips is worth the price of admission, although edited down to only a clip.

WWF World title: Hulk Hogan v. Terry Funk

From SNME #4. Hulk gets a corner clothesline to put Funk on the floor, and then back in for another one and another bump by Funk. Back in, they do a funny criss-cross with Hulk stepping on Funk’s back, and now Terry’s getting frustrated. I always hate to see a scientifically minded wrestler having to deal with a cheater like Hogan. So back in again and Funk throws chops in the corner, but Hulk punches him and Funk bumps to the apron this time. Back in, Hogan gets the backdrop suplex for two, but Funk goes low and stomps away. To the top, but Hulk brings him down on his crotch and adds an atomic drop and an elbowdrop. Hulk tries a headlock, but Jimmy Hart trips him up and then hides under the ring. This gives Funk the chance to choke Hulk out with his wrist tape, and a piledriver gets two. However, it’s time for the Hulk Up, and the big boot puts Funk on the apron. Hulk suplexes him back in, but Hart hooks the leg and Funk gets two. JYD takes out Jimmy, and Hulk pins Funk after a lariat at 8:14. Funk tosses chairs at Hogan and Jesse calls it “Texas sportsmanship”. Good bumps from Funk and lots of chemistry between these two. ***

Boxing match: Cowboy Bob Orton v. Mr. T

This of course was a precursor to Wrestlemania 2. Orton attacks before the bell and they trade some weak stuff before Orton thumbs him in the eye and then hits him with a cheapshot over the ref’s head to end the round. Round two sees Orton getting all cocky, but T knocks him out of the ring for the countout at 5:00. Stupid but harmless.

Snake Pit Match: Jake Roberts v. Ricky Steamboat

Ricky is on the arm to start and a backdrop gets two. Faceplant gets two and Jake makes a run for it, but runs right back into the armbar. Jake breaks out, but misses a charge and Steamboat follows with a catapult into the corner. Flying splash hits knee, however. They both crawl for their animals, but Jake recovers first and dives in with a gutbuster for two. Short-arm clothesline gets two. Jake chokes him out on the mat and hits him with a kneelift, as Steamboat staggers around the ring just selling the hell out of it. Jake with an atomic drop, but Steamboat catches him with a crucifix for the surprise pin at 6:23. Jake doesn’t take it well and beats on Steamboat before pulling out the snake, but luckily Steamboat is armed with a Komodo dragon for just such an emergency. **1/2

Intercontinental title: Randy Savage v. Jake Roberts

They actually use the promos for the 1992 match to set this up. This was an unheard-of heel v. heel match. They both try the sneak attack, which is hilarious, and then both of them pull the hair on an armbar. Savage gets all freaked out by the snake, or maybe the drugs, who knows, allowing Jake to takes him down with a headlock and more hair-pulling. Jake goes for the DDT and Savage slips out to the floor. Back in, and he walks into a boot, but another DDT attempt is blocked and Savage blocks a blind charge with a knee to the head. That gets two. He stomps away for two and drops the knee for two, as Jesse glories in the “good, down-home cheating”. Savage elbows him down and gets two. Choking on the ropes gets two. He works the cover, but Jake slugs back, so Savage ties him in the ropes and then shoves the snake under the ring. He stops to gloat, however, and Jake catches him with a kneelift on the apron and retrieves the snake again. They trade armbars and Jake gets the short-arm clothesline for two off that and the crowd is clearly on his side. He actually pulls out a gourdbuster and gets two, then slugs Savage down. Another DDT is blocked and Macho heads to the floor to escape, and hides behind Elizabeth. That gives him time to run Roberts into the post, and he follows with the double axehandle to the floor, and back in we go. Another flying axehandle gets two. He goes up again and Jake catches him on the way down and makes the comeback, completely playing babyface now. They brawl to the floor and the ref gets wiped out for the double DQ at 9:20. A lost classic, to be sure. ***1/2

Steel cage match, WWF World title: Hulk Hogan v. Paul Orndorff

Well this had to be there. Orndorff miraculously gains elbowpads in between his pre-match promo and walking out for the match seconds later. Heenan has apparently purchased “championship belt insurance” for the inevitable victory, leading me to wonder what retard insurance agent sold him THAT policy. I mean, even in the kayfabe world I don’t think it’s disputed that the belt belongs to the WWF and not the holder. Orndorff goes with the sneak attack and makes a quick climb for it, but Hogan grabs the hair, leading to one of the all-time classic Jesse-isms: Hogan would not be the champion if Mr. Wonderful was bald. Hulk drags him back in and chokes away with the headband, then makes a run for it himself. Orndorff pulls him back in and knees him down, but Hulk clings to the foot to keep him from leaving. Hulk pops up and slugs away, but Heenan locks the door and Hulk can’t leave. Orndorff headbutts him down and stomps him. He tries to run Hogan into the cage, but both guys hit it and they’re both out. And then the famous finish, as both guys climb out and drop down simultaneously, so we have a restart. Really, the later Batista-Undertaker riff on this one had it right, in that it’s the challenger’s onus to beat the champion, so it should have been a Hogan victory. And you won’t hear that often from me. So we take a break and they brawl around the floor before Orndorff sends him back in and drops an elbow from the top. He chokes away and Jesse is TIRED of Vince’s biased announcing. Hulk Up and Orndorff goes into the cage a few times, setting up a legdrop and exit for Hogan at 13:02. And a beating for poor Bobby Heenan, of course. The replays (and benefits of DVD freeze-framing 20 years later) clearly show Hogan’s feet hitting the floor first, too. ***1/4

Battle Royale

This is the go home show for Wrestlemania III and according to Gene scored the highest rating ever for a show in that timeslot with an 11 rating. The hook here is that both Hulk and Andre are participating. You’ve also got Demolition (with Barry Darsow’s hair still slowly coming in), Ron Bass, Volkoff, the Islanders, Honky Tonk Man, Paul Orndorff, the Killer Bees, Koko B Ware, Sika, Butch Reed, Billy Jack, Hillbilly, Lanny Poffo and Blackjack Mulligan. Honky goes up and out less than a minute in via Hogan, and then Andre tosses Sika. He continues smartly going after big guys, ramming Hillbilly and Mulligan’s heads together and then tossing Haku. A headbutt draws blood on Poffo and then he goes out as well. Andre’s pretty bad-ass tonight. Poffo’s blade is gory stuff for network TV, as he bleeds all over the floor and gets taken out on a stretcher. Hogan fights off the heels and dumps Bass, so Andre responds by putting Mulligan out. Hulk backdrops Volkoff out, so Andre headbutts the shit out of Brian Blair and gets rid of him. He deserved it for the tennis shoes. The Heenan Family works Hulk over in the corner, but he breaks free and we get the showdown with Andre. Sadly the heels cut him off and beat Hogan down, so Hulk tosses Orndorff out. This allows Andre to headbutt Hogan from behind and get rid of him. That was pretty shocking stuff for the time. Andre throws Brunzell out in irritated fashion, but everyone stops and gangs up on Andre and gets rid of him, another thing you just didn’t ever see. Ax, Tama and Hillbilly Jim all go in rapid succession. Koko dropkicks Reed out, leaving us with Hercules & Smash on the heel side and Billy Jack & Koko for the faces. Hercules keeps trying to get Koko out and Haynes keeps saving him, but Herc eventually gets the job done, leaving Billy against Herc and Smash. Billy dodges Hercules and puts Smash out, but gets distracted by Bobby and that allows Herc to dump him for the win at 11:11. Silly as it sounds, this was probably Herc’s peak in the sport.

WWF World tag titles: The Hart Foundation v. The British Bulldogs

This is 2/3 falls and I’ve been waiting forever for this to get put on DVD. Davey works Bret’s arm to start, but Bret goes to a headlock. Davey monkey-flips out of it and gets a crucifix for two, but he runs into Bret’s knee. Over to Anvil and we get some cheating in the corner. Bret with a backbreaker for two and he drops the leg, but a blind charge hits knee and it’s over to Dynamite. Bret takes his corner bump and Kid brings him out by the hair, then a short clothesline gets two. Snap suplex gets two. Anvil comes in and tosses Davey, and they double-team until the ref calls for the DQ at 4:35. This becomes important later.

Second fall and the Harts are beating on Kid in the corner. Demolition elbow gets two. The Harts cut the ring in half and Anvil chokes Kid down while Danny Davis makes a nuisance of himself and distracts Davey. Bret ties the Kid up in the ropes and misses a charge, and it’s hot tag Davey Boy. Clothesline on Anvil gets two. Delayed suplex gets two. Anvil catches him with his head down and the Harts double-team in the corner, but Anvil hits Bret by mistake, Tito gets rid of Davis, and Smith presses Kid into Anvil for the pin at 9:33. The arena goes batshit insane, but Jesse points out that you can’t win the titles on a disqualification. However, two years later precedent would change and establish that you can indeed win them that way. So the Bulldogs kind of got screwed here. Classic Bulldogs-Harts stuff here, compressed a bit for TV time. ***

Intercontinental title: Honky Tonk Man v. Randy Savage

Conventional wisdom had Savage mopping the ring with Honky and winning the title in 30 seconds. Honky gets the sneak attack, but Savage dodges him and snaps the neck on the top rope before choking him out. Elbow out of the corner and he goes after Jimmy Hart, which allows Honky to clobber him from behind and take over. Honky drops a knee on the back and goes up with the fistdrop, but stops to go hit on Liz. Savage pounds him outside and drops the axehandle to the floor, then runs him into the corner and rolls him up for two. Backdrop suplex gets two, but Jimmy pulls him off. Back up, but Hart grabs the leg, so Savage boots him down and gets another axehandle for two. And Hart pulls him off AGAIN, prompting Savage to kick his ass. Honky tries a sunset flip but gets nailed by Savage, and the Hart Foundation head out to tend to their manager. They all bring Jimmy back to the dressing room and we take a break, and return with Savage whomping on Honky again. Savage fires away with elbows in the corner, but misses a blind charge and Honky takes over again with a backdrop. He goes up with the fistdrop, but misses and Savage makes the comeback. He chokes Honky down in the corner and elbows him for two. Suplex gets two. Honky tosses him to allow the Harts their shots while he distracts the ref. Back in, he goes for Shake Rattle and Roll, but Savage backdrops out of it and drops the big elbow. The Harts run in for the DQ at 12:11, however, and the beating commences. *** However, the real big money angle follows, as Honky wants to hit Savage with the guitar, but Liz gets in his way and begs for mercy. Honky, a true renaissance man, shoves her down and HOLY COW was this huge for 1987. Like, no one had ever laid a finger on her up until then, and even the threat of it sent Savage into a psychotic rage, so this was a major turning point for the character. So Savage takes the guitar to the head, but Liz returns with Hulk Hogan, giving birth to the MegaPowers and putting several million dollars in Vince’s pocket.

– From the same show, Koko B. Ware’s “Piledriver” video, with the babyfaces (and Vince) as creepy construction workers.

Randy Savage v. Bret Hart

Well you gotta have this one, too. What an awesome DVD. Vince basically told Bret beforehand to go out and show him that he could work the leg. Savage attacks and runs Bret into the post, but charges and hits the corner himself. Bret stomps him down in the corner, but Savage catches him with his head down and then sends him off the apron, giving us one of the first railing bumps of Bret’s singles career. Savage gets rid of Neidhart and Jimmy, but he jumps at Bret and gets hit with the megaphone on the way down. Back in, Hart drops the leg and hangs Savage in the Tree of Woe, then follows with a piledriver for two. A charge misses and Savage runs him into the post and then follows with a flying axehandle for two. Bret comes back with a backbreaker and drops the elbow from the middle rope, but that one misses. Savage necksnaps him for two, but charges and gets backdropped to the floor, injuring his ankle in the process. Liz takes his boot off to examine the injury, and we take a break. Back with Savage now wrestling in one boot and doing a valiant job of selling that injury. Bret goes right for it, ramming it into the post and then going with a spinning toehold. Savage fights back with a necksnap for two, but Bret goes right back to the leg and puts him in a half-crab. Savage makes the ropes, so Bret hauls him back in and pounds on the ankle, forcing Savage to rake the face. Bret slams him, but Savage rolls him up for the pin at 11:54. This is memorable for good reason, basically laying out the template for later main event matches to come in the 90s. ****

Special Features:

George Steele, Nikolai Volkoff & Iron Sheik v. Barry Windham, Mike Rotundo & Ricky Steamboat.

This is of course the first ever match on Saturday Night’s Main Event. Windham headlocks Sheik to start and follows with a hiptoss, and the faces work the arm in the corner. Rotundo drops an elbow for two, but Steamboat walks into the abdominal stretch, although he’s able to hiptoss out quickly. The faces clear the ring and we take a break. Back with Steamboat hitting a missile dropkick on the Sheik, and the flying bodypress gets two. Over to Volkoff and the US Express hits him with a double dropkick for two. Rotundo drops a leg for two. Rollup gets two. Backslide gets two. Sunset flip is too close to the ropes. Over to Windham and he gets another sunset flip that is in the ropes, and finally Animal comes in. Windham slugs away on him and the other heels decide to cut their losses and leave, allowing Windham to roll up Steele for the pin at 6:32. Sheik and Volkoff turn on him and attack, but Steele fights them off and aligns himself with Lou Albano for the face turn. This was fine. **

– And hey, just to turn the Cheesy 80s Meter up to 11, here’s “Real American”, the music video. My favorite is Hulk disgustedly tossing down the picture of Quadafi, back when anyone gave a shit about Libya.

– And JYD dances with his mother to close out the first show.

Disc Two

WWF World title: Hulk Hogan v. King Kong Bundy

BUNDYMANIA. Bundy charges and misses to start, allowing Hogan to run him into the turnbuckles and put him on the floor with the big boot. Back in, Hulk throws elbows and a clothesline to put him out again. Back in, Hogan wins a slugfest and starts working on the arm, but Bundy takes him down using BIG FAT CHAIN WRESTLING. Vince accuses him of using the hair. What hair? Hulk powers up and tries to knock Bundy down, but runs into an elbow and Bundy goes back to the arm again. Hulk fights out of it and slams Bundy, but misses an elbowdrop. Bundy also slams him and misses an elbowdrop, and now Hogan makes the comeback. Corner clothesline, but Bundy reverses him into the corner and hits the Avalanche. The ref is bumped in the process and Hulk makes the comeback, putting Bundy on the floor. They call for medical assistance for the ref and we take a break. Back with a fresh ref and Bundy attacks in the corner, then hits a clothesline. Kneedrop gets two. Bundy chops Hulk to the floor and chokes away on the apron before going to a chinlock. Andre yells “Ring the bell!” at Hebner, but this is Dave and we’re not in Montreal, so it doesn’t work. Bundy hits a pair of Avalanches and a big splash, but Hogan is up at two and it’s time for the comeback. Legdrop finishes at 12:08. Jesse argues that Bundy’s foot was touching Hulk’s so it should be a legal pin, but you have to actually pin the other guy’s shoulders to the mat, hence the name. In case that was keeping you up at night. Which means, for those truly anal types, that someone blacking out in the figure-four and getting pinned is not actually legal, unless the interpretation is that the ref is counting the person as unable to continue and just counting three as a way to determine that. ** Andre beats the holy hell out of Hulk after his win until a legion of babyfaces run out and pull him off, all of which leads up to…

WWF World title: Hulk Hogan v. Andre the Giant

From The Main Event, on live network primetime TV. This did ungodly numbers and blows away all other ratings for wrestling matches. It also has one of the most famous finishes in history. As a match, not so good. Another first here as it marks the debut of the classic winged eagle WWF title belt, although Hulk’s pre-match interview sees him wearing the older design. Pretty big production gaffe there. Amazingly, that belt design would last for 10 years, second only to the Big Gold Belt (23 years and counting!) and the current I-C title (11 years and sorely in need of a redo). Hulk cleans house on Dibiase and Virgil to start and then slugs away on Andre, but can’t knock him down. Hulk tries a corner clothesline, but still can’t punch him down, even after spinning his arm around like Popeye! That would KILL a normal man! He finally tries to go up, but Andre slams him off and then misses a headbutt. Andre chokes him out and stomps him, then puts him down with the headbutts. Big boot puts Hulk on the floor, and Virgil sends him back in for some more choking. Hogan fights up and slugs away in the corner, then gets a flying clothesline and drops the leg. The ref is busy with Virgil, and Andre headbutts Hogan from behind and suplexes him for the pin and the title at 9:04, despite Hogan’s shoulder being up at one. Pff, technicalities. So Andre immediately surrenders the title to Ted Dibiase as Hogan cries like a little bitch instead of manning up and doing something about it. I really wish 24/7 would show one of the house shows with Dibiase “defending” the title against Bam Bam Bigelow, for historical reasons if nothing else. I don’t know if any of them were taped for TV, though. Anyway, the really shocking thing here is that this isn’t even the worst refereeing job Earl Hebner would do in his career. Much better than their Wrestlemania match. That’s not saying much. **

Randy Savage v. Ted Dibiase

This was two weeks before Wrestlemania IV, making it kind of weird that they’d give away the main event on free TV beforehand. Dibiase attacks in the corner and elbows him down, then goes up and hits an elbow before choking him out. Savage comes back with an elbow out of the corner and puts him on the floor with a high knee before sending him back in for the flying axehandle. Dibiase tries for mercy, but Savage clotheslines him for two and then follows with a necksnap as Dibiase does his usual great bumping. Dibiase bails and Savage invites him right back in. Dibiase chops him down and drops the fist, but runs into a knee in the corner and Savage drops his own elbow for two. Kneedrop misses and Dibiase goes right after it with a spinning toehold, but Savage kicks him out of the ring to escape. Dibiase yanks him out and they brawl on the floor, allowing Virgil to dive in for the cheapshot. Nice. That earns him a trip back to the dressing room. RACISM! We take a break and return with Dibiase getting a flying axehandle before dropping an elbow for two. And we hit the chinlock. Savage fights out and backdrops him, but the ref is bumped and Savage tosses Dibiase out. He follows with the axehandle to the floor, but Andre lays him out and Liz runs away for you know who. Savage gets counted out at 11:36, although Dibiase probably should have gone over by pin to really set up the WM main better. Hulk chases off the heels with a chair, as I’m thinking they should have some sort of tag team match with these four. Perhaps on PPV. They might call it Summerslam. ***1/2

– Another high point for the sport, as Jake Roberts induces a heart attack in Andre by using his snake.

Hulk Hogan v. Harley Race

From the same show as the Savage-Dibiase match. Race attacks, but even his headbutts have no effect. Hulk clotheslines him out of the ring and onto a table at ringside, and Hogan runs him into the post to follow. Hulk goes after Heenan and Race tries to piledrive him on the floor as a result, but Hogan backdrops out and hits an atomic drop. Back to the post for Race and Hogan slams him on the floor and then chops away in the ring. Hogan chokes him out with the wrist tape and follows with a tape-assisted clothesline. Vince is all “the ends justify the means, Jesse”. Who knew Hulk would be teaching all his little Hulkamaniacs to be so Machiavellian? Although after Montreal it was no surprise that Vince would take that road. Race finally comes back and gets a piledriver, then tosses Hogan for a taste of his own medicine, putting him on the table and trying a diving headbutt. That misses and the table kinda breaks, but at the cost of giving Race an abdominal injury that would later end his career. Back in, Race comes off the top with a diving headbutt, but it only gets two and you know the rest at 6:58. This was quite the brawl and set up a really good house show series between them. ***

WWF World title: Randy Savage v. Andre the Giant

Skipping ahead to the end of 1988 now, with Savage getting more heelish and paranoid. Savage tries attacking and that goes badly for him, as Andre chops him down and pounds him in the corner. Andre holds him in a front facelock and chokes away with the strap. Savage tries a slam like an idiot and Andre just holds him at arm’s length and then headbutts him down before choking him out again. Savage gets a kind-of jawbreaker and makes the comeback, but Andre chokes him down in the corner again. Savage gets the axehandle and tries choking Andre down, as Jake Roberts (in a classy leather ensemble) joins us at ringside. So we take a break and return with Andre pounding Savage down while Bobby freaks out at ringside looking for Damian. Bobby finally finds it and comes into the ring for the DQ at 8:38. This was all just a setup for the Andre-Roberts feud, although the crowd heat was off the charts. *1/2

– Hacksaw reminisces about flying the flag on SNME.

Intercontinental title: Ultimate Warrior v. Honky Tonk Man

Welcome to the Warrior era. Warrior beats on Honky right away and presses him into the ring as Vince spews nonsense about Honky potentially being the first person to regain the I-C title. There’s forgetting history, but Tito Santana regained the belt less than four years before this! Warrior pounds away in the corner and follows with a shoulderblock, but misses a blind charge and Honky hits him with the megaphone to take over. That’s how out of Warrior’s league Honky was — he couldn’t even get a heat segment without hitting him four times with the megaphone. Honky chokes away on the ropes, but the canned heat machine rallies Warrior back to his feet before he misses an elbow. The dubbed crowd reactions are really obvious here. Warrior clotheslines him down and tries to finish with a splash, but hits knee. Like seriously, the dubbing is so heavy that you can’t even hear the ring mic, it’s ridiculous. Warrior finishes with a shoulderblock at 5:05. * Not sure why this was included, unless they were just like “I guess we’ve gotta put a Warrior match on there”.

– A video package highlights the haircut match between Ron Bass & Brutus Beefcake.

The Megapowers v. The Twin Towers

From the second Main Event. Hogan starts with Bossman after 2 minutes of drama on the subject of who will start, and he slugs away and puts him on the floor with an atomic drop. Back in, Bossman fires away, but Hogan rams him into the turnbuckles and he runs away again. Savage adds a shot from behind, and gosh the Megapowers are sure working well together tonight. So over to Akeem and the faces pinball him in the corner and then do some double-teaming to show how together they are. Bossman catches Hulk with a clothesline, however, and follows with a piledriver. Akeem pounds the back and Bossman follows with a spinebuster, but Hogan fights up and finally tags Savage in after 8 minutes. Macho hits Akeem with a flying bodypress for two, but Slick nails him with the nightstick and the Towers take over again. Double-team elbow puts Savage down and Akeem tosses him, but Elizabeth helps him back in again. So Akeem chucks him right out again, and this time he wipes out Liz and the crowd is SHOCKED. I mean, you could see jaws drop in the front row at that bump. Hogan immediately ignores his partner and goes to help his secret lover, and the Towers proceed to double-teaming Savage while Hogan carries Liz back to the dressing room like Superman carrying Supergirl on the cover of Crisis #7.

So back to the dressing room we go as Hogan shows the acting skills that prove why he was apparently offered the lead role in The Wrestler (although he certainly wouldn’t be offered the lead role in The Actor based off his performance). So we take a break to keep the drama from getting too heavy, and return with Savage getting pounded, but we cut back to the Hogan-Liz drama. Sadly they omit Hogan calling for the “tiz-ime” count on live TV, but that’s an understandable edit. Liz revives and Hogan rushes out to save the day (as the Towers are apparently so useless that they couldn’t even beat Randy Savage despite having a 2-on-1 advantage for 5 minutes straight) and the Towers hit a double-team backbreaker on Savage. Savage comes back with the flying axehandle, but he doesn’t want to tag out. Finally he does so by slapping Hogan right on his lustful, selfish face, and he walks out. Serves Hogan right. The Towers continue beating on Hulk, but he hulks up on Akeem and pins him with the legdrop at 18:33. *** I’d subtract 1/2* for the terrible, terrible acting, but that hardly seems fair.

Hulk storms back to the dressing room as Savage cuts a promo on the recovering Liz, and then Savage cuts the heel promo of a LIFETIME, unleashing all his crazy and paranoia in one awesome rage-filled rant. This is why I loved Macho Man so much. It’s such a great bit of character acting from Savage, too, as he had been repressing his true nature for a year, but the knowledge that he had never beaten Hogan for his beloved title just ate him alive and caused him to revert to his primal nature. Of course, we later learned that he really was batshit insane in real life, too, but that kind of adds to the charm, I think.

WWF World title, cage match: Hulk Hogan v. Big Bossman

Thanks to the pre-match attack of Zeus, Bossman is able to gain control to start, but Hogan gets a clothesline out of the corner and slugs away. Big boot and Hogan tries to climb out, but Bossman nails him from behind and brings him down. Big splash and Bossman slam follow and Bossman tries to climb, as Jesse questions the wisdom of not just walking out the door. Bossman exits with ease, but Hogan grabs him by the throat and hauls him back in for the famous superplex off the top of the cage. They sell that one for quite a while and Hogan revives first, but can’t make it out the door. Bossman comes back with a clothesline and gets a chain from Slick, using it to choke Hogan down, but they ram each other into the cage. Hulk rams him into the turnbuckles and retrieves the chain, knocking Bossman out with it and then running him into the cage multiple times. Legdrop, but Slick takes matters into his own hands and comes into the cage. Hogan disposes of him and steals his cuffs, then cuffs Bossman to the ring and walks out at 10:00. Famous but still overrated in general. *** Couldn’t do this set without it, though.

The Brainbusters v. The Rockers

This is not the famous first match, but rather the less-famous 2/3 falls rematch. Marty controls Tully with an armbar and puts him down with an elbow, and a sunset flip gets the pin at 1:40. Heenan flips out on his team and the Rockers get a double-rollup for two and follow with a double superkick to put the Busters on the floor. Bobby has had enough and walks out on his team, leaving Arn to slug it out with Shawn in the corner. Shawn gets a hiptoss and then follows with a rana on Tully before cleaning house. Double hiptoss on Arn, but AA goes low and brings Tully in. Shawn hits him with a kneelift for two and tries a flying headscissor, but Arn clotheslines him on the top rope and Tully gets the pin at 5:00. We take a break and return with Tully going after the weakened Shawn, and AA follows with a spinebuster for two. Arn does the knucklelock spot and hits Shawn’s knees, but Tully tosses him to recover. Shawn comes back in with a high cross for two, but he collides with Arn and both guys are out. Hot tag Marty and he dropkicks both Busters, but Arn catches him with his head down. The Busters set him up for the spike piledriver, but Shawn gets rid of Tully and finishes Arn with the high cross at 9:04. And Tully and Arn end their WWF career putting the Rockers over, which is somehow fitting. Not the best representation of their series, but still fast-paced and fun. ***

Special Features:

– Brother Love interviews Hulk Hogan on the subject of Big Bossman’s previous attack.

Dusty Rhodes v. Big Bossman

Bossman attacks and gets repelled, but catches Dusty from behind. Slick chokes away, which angers a vocal fan at ringside. Dusty eats post and Bossman pounds him back in the ring and starts working on the arm. He knees Dusty down and stays on the arm, then elbows him down. He misses a charge, however, allowing Big Dust to slug him down. Bossman chokes him on the ropes, however, and then makes the mistake of stalling, which allows the cheap rollup finish at 4:39. The annoying fan at ringside joins Dusty for some dancing in the ring, and would later be known as Sapphire. *

Disc Three

– Mr. Perfect and the Genius steal the WWF title belt and smash it with a hammer, because they want a title shot!

Mr. Perfect & The Genius v. Hulk Hogan & The Ultimate Warrior

Hogan powers Perfect into the corner to start and slams both heels, which has them running. Over to Warrior for some noggin knocking and Perfect bumps all over the place. Back to Hogan and Perfect slugs away on him in the corner, but Hulk fires back with an elbow in the corner and sends him into the post. Back in, Perfect bounces out of the corner like a superball while Genius takes notes on his scroll. Hulk drops elbows and puts Perfect on the floor again with a big boot, but the SCROLL OF DEATH turns the tide. The pen is indeed mightier than the sword. Back in, Hulk with a small package for two, but Perfect clotheslines him down again. Necksnap and it’s over to the Genius for some prancing, which has Warrior fired up. There’s no displays of individual lifestyle choices when Warrior’s around! Perfectplex gets two. He releases the hold and lets Genius attempt the moonsault, but Hulk blocks and it’s hot tag Warrior. He destroys Genius, but Hulk tags himself in and drops the leg for the pin at 7:48. Fun stuff with crazy Perfect bumps. *** And of course an errant clothesline sets up Wrestlemania VI.

Hulk Hogan v. Mr. Perfect

Hulk sends Perfect into the corner and adds a series of slams, which has Perfect running to the floor. Back in, Perfect whips him into the corner and slugs away, then dodges the big boot and goes to confer with the Genius. Hogan sends him into the post as a result, and they head back in for a Hogan clothesline and a corner clothesline. Axe bomber and an elbow in the corner puts Perfect back on the floor and Hogan follows for the brawl while Jesse points out all the rules broken by Hulk. Finally Perfect has had ENOUGH of Hulk’s rulebreaking and he hits him with the scroll to take over, and we take a break. Back in, Perfect with the necksnap, but Hulk pops up and fires away with elbows. He puts his down, however, and Perfect hits him with the Ax forearm and NOW YOU’RE GONNA SEE A PERFECTPLEX. And you know how it goes from there. Legdrop at 7:54. **1/2

The Rockers v. The Hart Foundation

Still from the April show, not the more famous lost match from October 90. Bret and Marty do a nice sequence to start and Shawn comes in with a high cross for two. Rockers double-team Bret with a legsweep, but Anvil storms in and clotheslines them both to a big pop. He headlocks Marty and overpowers him, but Marty uses speed and hooks a facelock to bring him into the Rocker corner. Over to Shawn, and although he can’t get a slam, he can get a dropkick for two. Another bodypress attempt is blocked with a powerslam, however, and it’s over to Bret. Atomic drop and clothesline for Shawn follow, and he adds the cheapshot from the apron as Anvil comes back in. Bret drops an elbow and sends Shawn into the corner, and the Harts do the double-team whip in their corner, which gets two for Anvil. Back to Bret, but Shawn gets a sunset flip for two as Demolition joins us at ringside. This breaks Bret’s concentration, allowing Shawn to dropkick him out of the ring and we take a break. Back with Bret beating on Shawn in the corner, but he misses the second rope elbow. Hot tag Marty and he puts Bret down with a back elbow. Powerslam for Bret and a superkick gets two. Marty with a sunset flip for two. Bret comes back with a neckbreaker, but slingshots Anvil in and misses, allowing Marty to bring Shawn back in again. Neidhart absolutely levels him with a shoulderblock for two, but Shawn elbows him down for two. Bodypress gets two, but Demolition gets involved and a brawl erupts at 9:16. ***1/2

Intercontinental title: Mr. Perfect v. Tito Santana

Tito quickly gets a pair of armdrags and a dropkick to put Perfect on the floor. They do a chase out there and head back in, but Tito puts his head down and gets clotheslined. Perfect with a necksnap and he goes to a neck vice, but Tito fights up and the ref gets taken out. Tito goes to work on Perfect’s leg and hooks the figure-four, but the ref is busy selling the knee. Flying forearm gets two. Another try gets two, and we get a new ref as we take a break. Back with Tito getting a bodypress for two, but Perfect gets a cheapshot and hammers away. Necksnap and Perfect pounds on him, but Tito comes back and Perfect does the ringpost bump. Tito with a pair of atomic drops and Perfect dives into the turnbuckle, then bumps into a clothesline from Tito that gets two. Tito puts his head down, but suckers Perfect into a small package for two, which Perfect reverses into his own for the pin at 10:05. As usual with Tito, this had great heat and solid work. ***1/2

– The guys reminisce about Oktoberfest. Gene introducing the Genius as the “master sausage stuffer” is pretty funny. And of course a food fight erupts.

Battle Royale

From April 91, the dying days of the show on NBC. We’ve got Hulk, Earthquake, Rockers, Orient Express, Jake Roberts, Jim Duggan, Texas Tornado, Warlord, Tugboat, Mr. Perfect, Haku, Greg Valentine, Power & Glory, Big Bossman, Barbarian, British Bulldog and Jimmy Snuka. Roma and Jannetty put each other out and then it’s a whole lot of milling around and punching. Hulk and Hammer team up with elbows on Perfect, but can’t put him on the floor. Warlord dumps Bulldog and Tanaka goes out off-camera. Quake takes Snake. Jake gets pissed and lets the snake slither around the ring, so the ref halts the match and we take a break. Back with Hulk and Tugboat having a dramatic altercation until Warlord interrupts and gets tossed out for his troubles. Barbarian puts Tornado out, and Duggan stands there going “Hooo” until Earthquake tosses him out. Hulk dumps Quake in retribution. Hulk puts Kato out, but Tug puts Hulk out, then Shawn puts Tug and Herc out. Wow, good showing for Michaels. Perfect dropkicks Bossman into a Barbarian backdrop over the top, making him the only choice left with a shot to win. Shawn dropkicks Haku out and goes after Perfect, but can’t get him over the top. Shawn bumps to the apron, however, and Perfect slugs him to the floor and out. That leaves Perfect, Valentine and Barbarian. Hammer can’t get Barbarian out and the heels double-team him, but Perfect accidentally dropkicks Barbarian out of the match. Perfect and Hammer exchange chops in the corner and Perfect goes down, then Hammer puts him down with an elbow for good measure. He drops the elbows and tosses Perfect, but he still won’t go out. Another go at it and Perfect takes him out while holding the ropes, winning the match.

Bret Hart v. Ted Dibiase

Wow, pulling out all the rarities. Also from the April 91 show. Dibiase slugs away in the corner, but Bret comes back with a hiptoss and a pair of clotheslines before clotheslining Dibiase to the floor and following with a pescado. Back in, Bret grabs a headlock, but gets tripped up by Sherri before recovering with a rollup for two. Bret charges and runs into a stungun, however, and Dibiase takes over with a piledriver. That gets two. Dibiase tosses him and Sherri gets some cheapshots, and back in for the choking. Bret takes the corner bump and it’s Million Dollar Dream time, but Bret runs him into the corner to break. Bret makes the comeback and Dibiase begs off, so Bret gives him an atomic drop and back elbow for two. Russian legsweep gets two. Middle rope elbow gets two. Sherri trips Bret up again and this time he chases her (Piper: “This is on purpose!” Ya think?), which allows Dibiase to attack from behind. And in fact Piper is so pissed that he leaves the “booth” and heads down to help Bret, sending Sherri running with a broom. Back in the ring, Bret hammers away in the corner, but Dibiase chases after Piper and Bret follows for the lame double countout at 9:37. Weak, this was in **** territory before the cop-out finish. ***1/2

– So in 1992, the show moves to FOX, and I don’t get to watch it anymore as a result.

Hulk Hogan & Sid Justice v. Ric Flair & Undertaker

Flair starts with Sid and gets backdropped out of the corner, and it’s over to Hulk. He hiptosses both heels and runs Taker into Sid’s knee. Sid adds a slam, as does Hulk, and the heels bail and regroup. Back in, Taker gets an uppercut on Sid and Flair adds a clothesline for two. They double-team Sid, but Hulk comes in for the brawl and they give Flair the double-boot and clear the ring. Hulk poses and Sid looks none too pleased about him hogging the spotlight. We take a break and return with Undertaker attacking Sid while he seethes, and we get double-teaming in the heel corner. Sid rams them together and brings Hulk back in, but Flair takes out the leg and goes to work. Figure-four, but Sid turns his back on him. The heels continue to double-team, but Hogan slams Flair off the top…and Sid denies him the tag again. Hulk hits the heels with a double clothesline…and Sid takes a walk. Flair tosses the ref for the DQ at 10:58, allowing Hulk to clean house. Nothing as a match, but again it had to be here for the Sid heel turn. *1/2

– Clips of Piper v. Mountie from the same show, as Piper reveals his shock-proof vest to retain the IC title.

Intercontinental title: Davey Boy Smith v. Shawn Michaels

Bulldog overpowers him to start, of course, so Shawn goes with the cheapshot, into a hiptoss and short-arm scissors. Hey, wonder what Bulldog will do to counter? And yes indeed, he powers Shawn up and drops him on the mat. Press slam follows and a clotheslines puts Shawn on the floor, as he’s just bumping all over the place in his big solo network debut. Back in, Shawn slugs away in the corner, but Bulldog wins a battle of reversals and gets the armbar. Shawn dumps him to escape and unties the turnbuckle, as we take a break. Back with Shawn going to the chinlock and Bulldog slamming out of it, but Shawn works on the back and goes to the abdominal stretch. Bulldog fights out and faceplants him, then sends him into the corner and out with a clothesline. Catapult into the corner is followed by a clothesline for two. Delayed suplex gets two. Finally the turnbuckle comes into play, however, as Shawn gets a desperation whip into the dreaded cold steel to slow Bulldog’s comeback. Another whip, but this time he eats the turnbuckle, and Bulldog goes to finish with a superplex…but his back gives out and Shawn pins him to win the title at 10:15. Clean as a sheet, as they say. Really liked this one, as the psychology was consistent, with Shawn working the back and then winning the title when Bulldog’s back gave way. ***1/4 That’s all I ask.

– And from there, we jump ahead 14 years to the modern era, with another show I’ve never bothered to watch before.

Street Fight: Shawn Michaels v. Shane McMahon

Shawn attacks during the Shane Dance and they brawl in the aisle, with Shawn hitting him with a chair and then setting up a table. Shane reverses him into the post and retrieves a ladder before sending Shawn into the post again. Vince puts Shawn on the table, but he fights up and they slug it out on the ladder. That results in Shane getting superplexed through the table, although Shawn gets most of that one as well. And we take a break. Back with Shawn slugging away in the ring, and he slams Shane and goes up the ladder, only to have Vince break it up with a kendo stick. Shane pounds him with the ladder for two, then runs the ladder into his face for two. Shane goes to a surfboard, which lasts a lot longer than you’d like for a street fight, and a hurricane DDT gets two. Chairshot sets up the Shane Terminator, but Vince gets too close and takes it instead. Shawn comes back with the flying elbow and superkick, but Vince pulls the ref out now as they stretch this out with every shortcut possible. Shawn goes after Vince, which allows Shane to go low and hook Shawn in the Sharpshooter, and of course Vince is there to ring the bell at 13:50. Seriously? They went with THAT finish? Shane just kind of does the same match over and over. ***

Shawn Michaels & HHH v. The Spirit Squad

This was pretty much the final burial of the Squad. This is elimination rules and when you’re gone, you get locked in a cage at ringside. Shawn cleans house with the plastic megaphone and superkicks Mitch out of the match at 1:14. We take a break and return with HHH pinning Johnny after a spinebuster at 1:41. Kenny tries to take a walk and Shawn follows, but that allows Vince to come out and hit Shawn with a chair. Back in the ring, Nicky gets an elbow in the corner for two and follows with a sleeper. Kenny misses a flying legdrop and it’s back to HHH, as he fights off the clowns with ease and tosses Nicky. KICK WHAM PEDIGREE kills Nicky dead at 5:01. Mikey follows at 5:38. Shawn finishes the squash with the superkick on Kenny into the Pedigree at 6:18. Why would someone supposedly as powerful and smart as Vince use these morons to do his dirty work? 1/2*

RAW World title: Edge v. John Cena

Brawl on the floor to start and Cena charges, but hits the floor as we take a break. Back with Edge clotheslining him, which sets up a sloppy superplex. Edge boots him down for two, but they slug it out, which allows Cena to get the backdrop suplex. Five knuckle shuffle and FU follow, but Lita pulls out the ref. Cena dodges a spear and hooks the STFU, but Lita decks the ref again and it’s a DQ at 5:00. Just a quickie TV match. ** for Lita’s boobs.

Special Features

– Mean Gene and Lord Alfred Hayes go on safari and meet a variety of animal-themed wrestlers.

– Shawn Michaels talks about winning the I-C title. He’s got nothing to say, really.

– Matt Hardy boxes Evander Holyfield in a silly deal from 2007.

The Pulse:

Well I’d pretty much call this the perfect DVD set, and the scary thing is that they can easily do a volume 2 with stuff like Brainbusters v. Demolition, Hogan v. Bad News, Warrior v. Dibiase, etc. The modern stuff falls really flat and is the only real down portion of the set, but then no one watched the shows when they aired so this is a good chance to watch those matches, I guess.

Highest recommendation!