Before we get going, I want to thank Norine for covering in my absence last week due to me being sick. She covered what would be a great RAW, so this week the bar is raised. Can they top it? Tune into the next two hours here on the Pulse and we’ll find out!
Recap of last week with Randy Orton kicking Shane into next year and dropping Stephanie on her head.
For the second week in a row, we open the show with SmackDown General Manager, Vickie Guerrero. EXCUSE ME! Due to the incident last week, she is in charge.
OK, that’s all folks. The show is officially over.
Oh, you mean I still have to watch this? Thank God for John Cena interrupting this segment. Can we get an attitude adjustment and let the inmates run the asylum? He’s surprised that the Board of Directors chose her over Mike Adamle. Cena pokes on Michael Cole a bit. VINTAGE MICHAEL COLE! He asks her not to lie to the fans, claiming that she doesn’t care about the McMahon’s or the other wrestlers. All she cares about is Edge. Cena wants his rematch and he wants it tonight.
Cue Edge and the Big Show. Who does Cena think he is? Randy Orton? Cena isn’t having it and he wants Edge to MAN UP! Edge feels sorry for Cena for wanting to be this generation’s Sammartino, Hogan, and Austin. It’s impossible because Edge won’t let it happen. Edge claims to be tougher, more talented, and smarter than any past champion. Edge wants Cena to stretch this out so when he beats him the people will be left with nothing. Cena appreciates the speech, but Edge is standing in the ring with a 400 pound barbaric, disgusting beast…..AND he brought out the Big Show as well! Edge is pissed off that Cena disrespected Vickie. Cena lays it all down saying that he is who he is. He goads Vickie to make the match. Big Show kisses up, which makes Cena ask where he fits in. More sexual jokes galore and Vickie gets tired of this. She books Cena against either her friend or her family.
NEXT: Punk v. Morrison v. Miz – Money in the Bank Qualifier Match!
Backstage, the Legacy have arrived!
Commercials.
We’re back and Nashville is the place to be tonight! Justin Roberts is handling duties tonight in place of Lilian Garcia.
CM Punk v. John Morrison v. The Miz
Money in the Bank Qualifier Match
The bell rings and Punk takes it to the World Tag Champions. Small package on Miz for one and now the tag champs take control. Morrison ties Punk up, but Punk still uses his feet. The numbers game sucks for Punk right now. Morrison and Miz tee off in the corner. Corner to Corner and Punk takes control. GTS attempt to the Miz is blocked, but Miz gets a roundhouse kick to send him out of the ring. Morrison takes Punk out and all three men are outside the ring as we go to a commercial.
Commercials.
We’re back and Morrison has Punk in a chinlock. During the break, Morrison lands on his own partner instead of Punk following a moonsault. Punk gets up and he sends Morrison to the ropes. Boots to the face. Punk takes it to Morrison. To the corner we go…KNEE LIFT, but Miz saves Morrison. Miz stomps away at Punk and scores a two count off a suplex. Chinlock applied as Miz has a crossface-like hold on it. Punk gets out of it and he dishes out the offense on both Miz and Morrison. Morrison runs the ropes…POWERSLAM! Punk gets two. Punk gets the wrong end of the treatment as Morrison hits a springboard kick to Punk’s face. The tension breaks down as Miz and Morrison TAKE IT TO EACH OTHER! Miz and Morrison fight at the ropes…Punk takes care of Miz and hits the GTS on Morrison for the win!
Winner: CM Punk
Grade: B-
Looks like the Intercontinental Championship won’t be defended at Wrestlemania.
Up next, we will recap the Triple H interview from SmackDown.
Commercials.
Welcome back and Jerry Lawler makes a blunt statement saying that Triple H is married to Stephanie. We go to the interview from Friday where Trips says that Orton walked a fine line. He put his hands on Vince…on Shane…and on his wife, Stephanie.
T-Grish is outside Orton’s locker room and Rhodes and DiBiase come out and says that people should take responsbility for their own actions and that Randy will make an announcement later tonight. If Triple H wants to show up, they will be ready.
Comedy ensues between Glamarella and Dolph Zigler.
Commercials.
WWE Rewind: Beth Pheonix loses her shot at the Women’s Title last week.
We are back and T-Grish is waiting in the parking lot for Triple H.
Melina & Cryme Tyme v. Glamarella & Dolph Zigler (w/Rosa Mendez)
The ladies start things off. Melina gets on Beth and Beth tosses her off. She takes it to Beth, who turns the game around for a moment. Beth gets placed in a compromising position in the corner and Melina hits a double foot stomp. Beth tags out with Zigler and JTG comes in since this is Mixed Tag rules. High angle hiptoss by JTG. Corner faceplant gets Dolph on the wrong end of a two count. Dolph takes it to JTG and he decides to hog the fun, not tagging out to Santino. Chinlock to JTG and Dolph’s impressive streak has seemingly ended. JTG drops to a knee and cold cocks Dolph in the jaw. In comes Shad and he rearranges Dolph’s face. Shad does the Money, money…yeah, yeah and Dolph tags out Santino. Santino grunts a bit and he runs right into the STO. That is over.
Winners: Melina & Cryme Tyme
Grade: C-
Michaels/JBL is NEXT!
Commercials.
We’re back and Cena is in his locker room. We get a preview of Cena’s new movie, 12 Rounds. Its now time for our first main event of the night!
John Bradshaw Layfield v. Shawn Michaels
Winner to challenge Vladmir Koslov next week on RAW
The bell sounds and they lock up in the center. JBL uses his strength to get Michaels in the corner. Michaels explodes out of the corner and he beats the hell out of him. JBL comes back with a short arm clothesline for a two count. Swinging neckbreaker gets two for JBL and he drops the elbow to the canvas. Shawn gets a quick cover for one. This is already shaping up to be better than their match at No Way Out! JBL knocks a few teeth out of Shawn’s mouth. He follows with a boot to the face. To the corner, JBL piefaces Shawn. To the ropes and Shawn comes back with some chops. In the corner, he hits the forearm shots. Corner to corner we go, JBL sending Shawn to the opposite corner and you know what happens. JBL is in control, dropping an elbow on Shawn for two. JBL backs Shawn up in the corner. We go pillar to post and Shawn’s boot is ready for JBL’s charge. JBL ducks a clothesline and he nails Shawn with a right hand that takes him out of the ring. JBL looked to send Shawn to the ring post, but Shawn rolls off and he shoves JBL to the post. Shawn gets caught with a whiplash that knocks him loopy. Both men beat the count back to the ring.
Commercials.
We’re back and we didn’t miss too much. Shawn sends JBL to the ropes and JBL clubs him in the back. JBL sets Shawn up on the turnbuckle. Shawn tries to fight off, but JBL is thinking superplex. Shawn shoves JBL off and he loses his balance. BIG BOOT TO THE HEAD SENDS SHAWN FLYING TO THE MAT! Shawn makes it back inside and JBL hits the Clothesline from Hell for TWO! JBL targets the back as I’m close to retract my “better than No Way Out” comment I made earlier. Modified Bow & Arrow submission is locked in, but Shawn gets out of it. Chop in the ropes. SHAWN GETS ON FIRE! KIPS UP! He hits the atomic drop on JBL! Scoop slam connects and he goes to the top. The elbow connects and he tunes up the band! JBL gets up and he ducks the Clothesline from Hell! JBL sends Michaels out, but he comes back inside the ring…BIG BOOT CONNECTS! JBL mocks Shawn and he goes for it….SWEET CHIN MUSIC! That’s all!
Winner: Shawn Michaels
Grade: B
Shawn celebrates, but Vladmir Koslov makes his entrance. They get face to face and Shawn pelts away, only to be tree slammed by Koslov!
Backstage, the Legacy prepare in the locker room.
Commercials.
We’re back here is your Wrestlemania Recall: Wrestlemania last year…in HD!
Jaime Noble is in the ring tonight. Maybe he’ll last longer than 15 seconds tonight. Then again…nevermind.
Jaime Noble v. Mike Knox
Jaime takes it to Knox, but Knox uses a knee. Off the ropes, low dropkick connects to Knox. BICYCLE KICK TO NOBLE! KnoxOut…29 seconds!
Winner: Mike Knox
Grade: F
We’re going to get a new inductee for the WWE Hall of Fame.
RICKY STEAMBOAT!
Pulse Glazer: That’s a class!
Me: I wholeheartedly agree.
We will hear from Ricky Steamboat NEXT!
Commercials.
We’re back and Michael Cole introduces us to Ricky Steamboat. He recalls his Intercontinental Championship win as his highlight of his career. He thanks the fans for making this happen.
Cue Chris Jericho. Ricky pushes Michael Cole out of his way to address Jericho. He thanks the Academy for not giving Mickey Rourke an Oscar. Jericho continues to run down the legends, even calling Steamboat a loser. Jericho continues to be gold on the microphone. He calls Ricky the biggest hypocrite of them all. He walks away and Ricky asks Jericho if he knows what a hypocrite is. He remembered 20 years ago signing an autograph for Jericho. He reminds us of Jericho’s career, nothing but hypocrisy. Ricky says that from the day he began until the day he retired, he gave the fans everything and he never changed. Steamboat really gives it back to Jericho in this promo. He tells Jericho that he will never be a Hall of Famer. Jericho takes the mic, pelts him in the head, and bashes Steamboat against the RAW set.
We go back to earlier tonight. The main event is NEXT!
Commercials.
We’re back from commercials a bit early so it seems, so we take another commercial break.
Commercials.
We’re back for real and Michael Cole explain the “technical diffculties” we had earlier. T-Grish will let us know when Trips shows up tonight. Time for the MAIN EVENT! Cena is in the ring and Vickie is pleased to say that Cena won’t get his title match tonight. Cena tells Vickie that she is testing him. So, Cena will follow Vickie wherever she goes. Vickie says that he better concentrate because out comes Chavo Guerrero.
John Cena v. Chavo Guerrero
Chavo takes it to Cena in the first 10 seconds. Then Cena hits the Protobomb. Five Knuckle Shuffle connects and it is time for the Attitude Adjustment. STF is applied and thanks for coming Chavo!
Winner: John Cena
Grade: F
I was thinking that Vickie would have another opponent, but I forgot that we have business to tend to. Randy Orton decides to take a page out of Trips book with the sledgehammer.
Commercials.
We are back. Next week, Shawn takes on Vladmir Koslov to determine who really goes to Wrestlemania to face the Undertaker.
Out comes the Legacy! Did I hear Michael Cole say “RKO to Stephanie McMahon, Triple H’s husband”? That seems…weird. Anyhow, Randy has the microphone saying that he has waited for Trips all night. He calls Trips arrogant, out of touch, and just plain stupid, just like a McMahon. Randy says he is the victim. He wanted to proceed with his career, but the McMahon family would not stay out of his way. He reminds us of his disorder. He took Shane and he delivered his promise because he kept pushing him. He says that she slapped him and she thinks that she can do whatever she wants. She got into his face again and instinct took over. He says the fans judge him and that we have no idea what he goes through. Orton gets intense with his promo. Randy says that Stephanie should had known better. He hoped that her children was watching last week. Trips shows up on the Tron and he has his own sledgehammer in tow. Things are going to get ugly right now!
Trips hits the stage and he walks down the ramp. Before he gets inside the ring, Randy tries to stop him. He reminds him that there are three of us and one of him. He wants to drop the weapons and settle this like men. Randy drops his weapon and Trips does the same. He steps inside the ring and the jacket comes off. The Legacy inches closer and Trips pulls out another sledgehammer! Anyone could see that coming since something was sticking between his legs. He goes apesh*t with the hammer and he chases Orton all the way backstage! DiBiase follows in tow and they find out that Trips barricaded the exits! Trips is a smart cookie. He barges in and it is a standoff. DiBiase goes down and Orton begs off. They escape and they try to make an escape. Orton realises a steel pipe won’t work so they make their getaway in their car. HE’S BACK!
End Show.
The WWE RAW Report Card
John Cena d. Chavo Guerrero: F
Mike Knox d. Jaime Noble: F
Shawn Michaels d. JBL: B
Melina & Cryme Tyme d. Glamarella & Dolph Zigler: C-
CM Punk d. John Morrison & the Miz: B-
Extra Credit: Jericho/Steamboat Promo
Extra Credit: Main Event Segment
The Final Grade for WWE RAW 2.23.09: C+
Well, not quite as good as last week, but I can let it pass since the segments were gold. I enjoyed tonight, despite the two squash matches we had to close out the show. I’m wanting to see where the Triple H/Randy Orton saga goes from here. I could do without putting up with Vickie Guerrero, but that should be temporary. Enjoy your week!
