ECW Real-Time Coverage for 3/17/2009

Welcome to the EC-Dub!

 

I’m excited to see Evan Bourne return.  Since Jack Swagger doesn’t have a clear opponent for WM 25, you have to figure Bourne will step into that role.  If that’s the case, it should be a great match.  Anyway, on to the show.

 

We open with Finlay and Hornswoggle walking in.  Teddy Long is hilariously dressed up for St. Patrick’s Day.   Apparently, Hornswoggle’s been “celebrating” all day.  And now he’s missing and Finlay tells us we’re all in trouble.

 

Happy St. Patrick’s Day!!

 

Your hosts, as usual, are Todd Grisham and Matt Striker.  Tonight, we have a live Dirt Sheet with Miz and Morrison.

 

Christian’s music hits and here he comes for some tag team action.  He’s fresh off of his battle royal win last week for a  spot in the Money in the Bank Ladder match.  His tag team partner is MVP and he’s headed to the squared circle.  Shelton Benjamin and Mark Henry follow as their opponents.

 

Christian and MVP vs. Shelton Benjamin and Mark Henry (w/ Tony Atlas)

MVP and Benjamin start out.  They lock up and Benjamin shoots MVP down and applies a headlock.  MVP throws him to the ropes, leapfrog, and arm drag.  Big knee to the sternum.  Cover for two.  Front face lock applied by MVP, but Benjamin runs him to his corner.  MVP fights out of the corner with blows to Benjamin and Henry.  Benjamin fights back and then distracts the ref so Henry gets a big headbutt on MVP.  Cover for two.

 

Commercial break.

 

We’re back and Henry has MVP in a bear hug.  To the corner and Benjamin is tagged in.  Big right by Shelton.  Suplex.  Benjamin with some kicks and now a chinlock.  MVP fights back but gets kneed in the midsection.  Benjamin sizes him up and goes for a finisher, but MVP reverses into a suplex.  Gets the hot tag.  Christian in with some quick offense.  Hits his reverse neckbreaker for two.  TO the corner and Christian catapults him but Benjamin lands on his feet.  Christian off the top for a sunset flip.  Cover for two.  Back to the corner and Christian hits the Fulcrum prison blues.  DDT off the top.  Cover broken up by Henry.  MVP in to confront Henry, but gets tossed out.  Christian also goes out and they trip up Henry.  Christian back in and Benjamin hits the Paydirt! 1,2,3!

 

Winners:  Shelton Benjamin and Mark Henry.  Not a bad opener.  I’m really not looking forward to Mark Henry in the MITB though.

 

Preview for 12 rounds.  They couldn’t possibly take more air time to promote this movie.

 

Finlay is in the back looking for Hornswoggle.  DJ Gabriel and Alicia Fox are dancing but they haven’t seen him.  Finlay asks if they are listening to Celtic Women.  Ha!

 

Evan Bourne returns next!  Commercials.

 

Jamie Noble is in the ring.  And here comes Evan Bourne!!

 

Evan Bourne vs. Jamie Noble

Noble quick on the offense.  Lock up and Noble with some shots to the head.  Irish whip and Bourne reverses into an armdrag then a high kick.  Cover for two.  Tyson Kidd and Natalya are in the back checking out the match.  Instafeud.  Bourne misses a splash in the corner and Noble gets some kicks in.  Short arm clothesline.  Knee drops.  Cover for two.  Modified camel clutch by Noble.  Bourne back on top with a hurricarana.  Standing moonsault.  Cover for two.  Inziguri by Bourne.  Another kick to the head.  Bourne goes up top and hits the shooting star press!  1,2,3!

 

Winner: Evan Bourne.  Squash.  Bourne looked good, though.

 

Finlay is still looking for Hornswoggle and he finds him tormenting Katie Lea Burchill.  Now we see a Triple H – Orton video package.  I’m loving that feud.  I think it should be a cage match.  That’s just me, though.

 

Commercial break.

 

We’re back and the “All-American American” Jack Swagger, ECW champion, comes out with a mic in hand.  He knows we missed him last week and he’s not competing tonight, but since he’s so nice and so good looking he’ll let us look at him.  That’s about all he has to say. 

 

Tiffany is in the back with Teddy Long.  She proposes a Diva appreciation night to promote the battle royal at WM 25.  Paul and Katie Lea burst in and she’s crying that Hornswoggle poured Corned Beef and Cabbage on her.  Paul takes exception and Teddy Long makes a Burchill/Finlay match.

 

Commercials.

 

The Burchill’s are in the ring and Paul has the weirdest ponytail I’ve ever seen.  Here comes Finlay and Hornswoggle.

 

Finlay (w/Hornswoggle) vs. Paul Burchill (w/ Katie Lea)

Finlay starts with a nerve pinch and then an elbow and uppercut.  Kicks and short arm clothesline.  Backbreaker.  Cover for two.  Hornswoggle is on the announce table.  He wants a headset.  Finlay is distracted and Paul goes after him, but Finlay body drops him to the floor on the outside.  Burchill gets up and drives Finlay to the apron.  He sends Finlay back in and hits a clothesline.  Chinlock.  Knee drop and a cover for two.  Todd Grisham compares the animosity between Northern Ireland and England to Tom and Jerry.  Nice one, Todd.  Way to understate.  We’re back on the outside and Burchill gets draped on the apron curtain.  Ouch!  Finlay in control in the ring and hits the Celtic Cross! 1,2,3!

 

Winner: Finlay! Erin Go Braugh!  Hornswoggle still has his eyes on Katie Lea.  They pose in the ring and we go to commercial.

 

The Dirt Sheet with Miz and Morrison is here!  The Bella twins are also in the ring.  Morrison says he looks at the crowd and that’s why they say everything is fatter in Texas.  The Miz calls the twins their girlfriends.  Miz calls one girl twin A and asks her why they like Miz and Morrison over the colons.  Twin B says because they like winners.  We recap the Smackdown win over Carlito and Primo.  Miz calls out Carlito and Primo, the colons, and they put on their butt masks.  I love the little mustache on “Primo’s” butt, I mean face.  They do a hilarious rap about the Colon’s.  Music hits and here comes the real Carlito and Primo, and they are bringing the Carlito Cabana set.  Miz and Morrison make farting noises.  Carlito says it is now the Cabana and Miz and Morrison are guests.  Miz and Morrison don’t want to be guests.  But Carlito and Primo have a challenge.  Everyone will put their belts on the line, and the winner will be the new unified tag team champions!  Morrison and Miz accept….  Be Jealous!  Carlito tries to spit some apple on them, but hits one of the twins instead!  Twin B laughs about it.  Twin A pushes her down.  Catfight!  The two tag teams pull them apart.  One twin leaves with each team.

 

Well, that’s the show.  Definitely not a great one.

 

Happy Saint Patty’s Day everyone.

 

 

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