Total Nonstop Weekly – 03.19.2009

Welcome back to a late edition of Total Nonstop Weekly.  On tap this week is the fallout from Destination X, some LockDown speculation, the week in TNA news, and anything else that I can come up with.

TNA Rapid-Fire

Debra (formerly Steve Austin’s wife), is interested in joining TNA and to be reunited with Jeff Jarrett.

Consequences Creed suffered a severe concussion at TNA Destination X.  Word has it that he had trouble remembering what happened during the match.  He should be out of action as a precautionary measure for the time being.

Kurt Angle will be on Howard Stern March 24th.  I should have details of what went down by next Thursday.

Danny Bonaduce has been cleared by Celebrity Championship Wrestling to work TNA LockDown.  His opponent is expected to be announced Friday.  Our Pulse Wrestling News Team will update you on this and I’ll provide my comments next week on Total Nonstop Weekly.

Kyoshi v. Shark Boy!

Jackie Moore & Kip James New Knockout Agents

In some news coming out of Destination X, Jackie Moore and Kip James weren’t valets for their respective tag teams at the show.  It is being reported that both will be agents for the Knockouts Division.  This is seen as a positive move as TNA continues to improve that division.  The two veterans can be expected to make sure that the highest rated part of iMPACT continues to deliver on all aspects.

This is good because both wrestlers aren’t getting younger.  BG James stepped out of the spotlight a while back and has been helpful to the TNA crew in the back.  I can respect these two because they want to give something back and this is one way to do so.

On Last Week’s Episode

Rhino d. Sheik Abdul Bashir (rollup; pinfall) – Nothing offensive with this match since both wrestlers weren’t doing anything important, so let’s go on.

Matt Morgan & Beer Money d. Abyss & Team 3-D (Carbon Footprint by Morgan to Abyss; pinfall) – This was a hard sell for two matches at Destination X.  It did the job on both fronts because I became mildly interested in both matches.  The ending made me cringe as I thought Morgan would slam Lauren into the tacks (even with the no male on female contact edict by Spike TV).  Good stuff, overall.

Taylor Wilde d. Madison Rayne (Referee-Assisted Sunset Flip; pinfall) – Let it be known that the job of the special guest referee is not to call the match down the middle.  Sure, Traci did a good job, but she was part of the pinning decision that awarded the win.  Traci got her just desserts after the match and the heels stood tall.

LAX & Lethal Consequences d. MEM’s Steiner & Booker T & the Motor City Machine Guns (Border Toss by Hernadez to Sabin; pinfall) – Here’s an idea.  How about offering a match or two without a commercial break interrupting it?  This match was simply awesome because we seen the beginning, climax, and end without any break in between.  I know Spike TV has something against quality when they asked TNA to increase the number of segments for the show, but even a ten minute match that has no commercials is better than a ten minute match with a commercial at the one minute mark and only about four minutes of action.  I am simply amazed.

Eric Young d. MEM Bodyguard Rocco (DVD; pinfall) – Eric Young will be big in this business one day.  The DVD attempt on Rocco was practically the move of the match because he somehow hefted the four hundred-plus pound bodyguard and slammed him down.  Too bad the rest of the match was not worth mentioning.

TNA Destination X

I thought long and hard about this Pay-Per-View.  Two things screamed out at me after reading the results from our own PK.  Either TNA hates money or Vince Russo just had to remind us that he still lives to make our lives hell.  Let’s break down the results.

Roxxi, Taylor Wilde, & “The Governor” d. The Beautiful People & Madison Rayne (German Suplex Bridge from Wilde to Rayne; pinfall) – Well, the show started off on the right foot.  The Knockouts Division is mixed with people who can wrestle and people who either can’t wrestle or anyone facing Awesome Kong.  More on the latter later.  These six ladies work well together, although the only gripe is why Rayne was pinned.  Would it hurt Sky or Love to be pinned?

Brutus Magnus d. Eric Young (Top Rope Tormentum; pinfall) – EY goes from winning the main event on iMPACT to jobbing in a “bonus attraction match” at Destination X.  EY will still be big in this business someday, but the day might come when certain bookers are no longer booking.  The match wasn’t terrible, so the show is still decent.  Sadly, the decent streak ended during the Bashir rant of discriminating proportions.

Matt Morgan d. Abyss (Carbon Footprint into 10,000 tacks) – Here’s a running joke for you.  Who’s the psycho that wears a mask that has 10,000 holes?  OK, I’ll even admit that was lame.  Anyways, this match wasn’t supposed to be great.  They worked together, but Morgan couldn’t play miracle man this month.  Maybe next month when they hopefully blow off the angle.

Cody Deaner beat out Shark Boy and Bernie Weber to become ODB’s man (Don’t know how; Don’t really care) – I feel bad for those that spent $30 for this segment.  I also feel bad for those that thought this contest was real.  Finally, I feel bad for Shark Boy.

Awesome Kong d. Sojourner Bolt (Awesome Bomb; pinfall) – Remember when I mentioned that the Knockout’s Division is mixed with those that can wrestle and those that face Awesome Kong.  Only two people wrestled decent matches with Kong – Gail Kim and Taylor Wilde.  It’s not that no one else is good; it’s that it’s hard working with someone who has a limited moveset because of her size.  Truth be told, Awesome Kong could probably kill me in the ring.

Scott Steiner d. Samoa Joe (DQ; Lead Pipe Shot) – Wow…just wow.  This actually makes me want to see Joe/Angle again!

AJ Styles d. Booker T (Styles Clash; pinfall; new Legend’s Champion) – Finally, the first great match of the night.  Styles and Booker really know how to pace the match.  This feud isn’t over, but I don’t mind it.  At least AJ Styles can lay claim to being the first ever TNA Grand Slam Champion.  This was a crowning moment in Styles’ career.

Team 3-D d. Beer Money (Once via DQ and once via Countout) – This match was perfectly placed after the Legend’s Title match because the fans still had to be hot over AJ Styles’ win.  It did not disappoint until the DQ ending, which was BS.  However, Jim Cornette saved the day because the fans don’t deserve spending $30 on DQ finishes.  They do however spend $30 for countout finishes.  I do have one nit pick.  If a match is “No Disqualification”, then why do we get a countout finish?

Suicide d. Alex Shelley, Chris Sabin, Jay Lethal, & Consequences (Leap of Faith from the top of the scaffold onto where the X crosses; title retrieval; New X-Division Champion) – I gotta say, this has to be an early contender to TNA’s MOTY.  All five men worked very hard, even if it was nothing but calling spots.  Suicide as champion opens up A LOT of new opportunities, so I’m thankful.

Sting d. Kurt Angle (Scorpion Death Drop; pinfall) – After this main event, I’m sure everyone was screaming at Vince Russo.  The match was fine, except that when you have four combustible elements in the ring at the same time, things tend to explode.  You have Mick hitting Sting with a chair, Angle killing both Jarrett and Foley, and Sting trying to keep his title.  TNA truly hates money.

This Week’s iMPACT

I haven’t watched the show yet, so I won’t do a quick recap of it this week.  Daniel has real-time coverage for the show if you want the results now.  I’ll be back next week for the recap.

Ratings News

TNA iMPACT for 03.12.2009 scored a 1.2 rating, which was down from the 1.3 the prior week.  This is acceptable since all wrestling shows were turning in fewer viewers.  I blame the nice weather many parts of the U.S. was getting the last week.

TNA LockDown Card

Announced as of 3.19.2009

Mick Foley v. Sting
Lethal LockDown (Teams TBA)
TNA World Tag Titles v. New Japan Tag Titles: Team 3-D v. Beer Money

Rumored

Danny Bonaduce v. TBA
Kevin Nash v. Samoa Joe
Abyss v. Matt Morgan
Multi-Man Match for the X-Division Title
Booker T v. AJ Styles for the Legend’s Title

This Week in Wrestling

ECW
RAW
Destination X
SmackDown

This Week on the Pulse

Yours truly attempts a controversial storyline that would make the Jericho/Legends angle better.
Bambi, Mark, & Vinny say goodbye to Andrew Martin, who passed on too soon.
Kace Evers discusses Finlay in a St. Patrick’s themed edition of Kace in Point.

Until Next Time

I have no more conspiracy theories or controversial columns this week, so catch me back Monday as we continue the Road to WrestleMania!  Have a great weekend and thanks for choosing Pulse Wrestling for all your wrestling news and commentary!

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