American Idol – These Go To 11

Country? Really? I’m watching with one ear closed. Ugh. There are 2 types of music I don’t like – 1) Country, 2) Country & Western. Add 3) Bluegrass & 4) Grand Ole Oprey to the list.

Right out of the chicken coop – let’s get this ho-down started! Round ‘em up ‘n dosey do!

Sarver – Isn’t this supposed to be where he shines? I mean, he’s the working class oil riggin kinda blue collar guy. However, there was no shoe polish to shine his muskrat boot scootin boogie.

Allison – She’s a rocker and she’s awesome. I mean, this is country for pete’s sake. And artists who don’t make it in the real world turn to country. If you did get voted off this week, it would be the one justifiable week.

Kris – He’s so Jason Mraz looking with his eyes… that it distracts me so much that I don’t know what he ever sings.

Little – Again – it was country week. And she’s R&B. I believe Mandisa got voted off country week. And that girl can wail. When you’re not in your element you have to kiss the judges asses and say “you want to show range”. Lil – you KNOW you ain’t never gonna sing another country song as long as you live.

Adam – though he’s been getting on my nerves – he was the best of the night. Why? Because I felt like I was sitting on a big satin pillow with a belly dancer swooning around while I everyone around me smoked hookah pipes. NOT line dancing and spittin yer dip in an empty bottle of YooHoo. Dug it.

Scott – I really like him and his story and he seems like such a humble, great guy so I really want him to stick around. However, if MEH is a new word in the dictionary, then I choose to use it on Scott. We need him to stick around. For the story. For the brother.

Danny – why, oh , why Danny boy – why do people like you? You could sing a story about me (my favorite subject) and I would get annoyed.

Anoop – In Da Hizzouse – the Grand Ole Oprey Hizzouse! Who knew? He’s my little Phoenix who rose from the ashes of country hell and shined the slightest glimmer of Anoop hope… well done.

Alexis – Again, it’s country. She’ll find something somewhere. I hope. I really liked her and Simon was so mean to give her that glimmer of hope – and she royally screwed it up!

Megan – She should be a pin-up for LA Ink. But I gotta hand it to her – she’s picking songs that fit her voice. The genres tend to screw people up like that. Even with the flu… she looked stunning. She’s the new Kat McPhee… will get some sort of hair product endorsement out of this one fo’ sho’!

Matt – Boring. But I love the Justin Timberlake that you seem to bring to each and every performance. Only – I wish he WOULD bring Justin Timberlake.

It was sad to see Alexis Grace fall from. I sound like Yoda.

But at least country week is out of the way… Yee Haawww!

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