The parting isn’t so painful for tonight’s loser. They won’t be leaving Hollywood and being mocked by their co-workers for daring to dream of stardom. Sure they’ll have to put up with that horrible rendition of “Home Sweet Home” and seeing their old haircut from the tryout.
The show opens with Smokey Robinson saying that this season has the best competition. We get the judges praising unknown contestants from last night. I can name three people who didn’t hear those clips during their critique.
There is one thing guaranteed, a contestant will forever hate Motown because they’ll swear it cost them their shot at stardom. Ryan swears last night had the most votes of any regular episode with 36 million. What percentage of it was Simon’s phone banks pushing his tattoo love goddess?
We’re promised tons of musical guests to pad out the elimination of one person. Ruben Studdard will be the first. Think he’ll mention his money problems and being dumped by his old label? Smokey Robinson and Joss Stone will do a duet. Joss won’t be mentioning her recent sexual favors for fat beats scandal. And finally Stevie Wonder will give us a medley of Motown hits. Why not kick the kid off now and let Stevie perform for 59 minutes? In these trying times, we need more Stevie in our lives.
Ryan asks Simon and Paula about crayon incident. Must we recap an incident that would get somebody fired for a Post Office job? Next last night’s highlights and a few lowlights.
The gang now comes out and lip syncs all your favorite Diana Ross tracks to their pre-recorded vocals. Saw the media reports about this lip sync business. Now they think this is a scandal. We’ve been on this sham since the second semi-final show when they decided to reduce crappy singing.
Here comes the Ford commercial. They’re pushing a hybrid model. They show off a beautiful field that for some reason has an asphalt road dumped on it. Is that enviromentally.
Ruben Studdard is introduced. He’s bigger than ever. They have him in a dark suit with dark lighting behind him. Hard to tell his weight class. He performs his latest single called “Together.” Turns out he does have a new label. He’s on Hickory Records which also has Idol alumni Elliott Yamin. But that isn’t brought up in the banter with Ryan. Mainly they focus on his recent marriage.
After chit chat with the kids about their tour of Motown, it’s time for Ryan to be the Angel of Death. Adam Lambert is first up. Can we guess? Turns out the Kurt Russell makeover didn’t cost him. He’s safe. Matt Giruard stands up. Ryan repeats the praise from the judges. In a shocker he’s told to go down to the bottom three bar stools. Kris Allen gets up. Ryan fakes him out into thinking he’s Bottom Three. He’s safe. Lil Rounds and Michael Sarver get up at the same time. Lil is told to sit back down. Sarver must make the wall of shame to the bar stools. We’ll have to wait until after the duet to get the third loser’s name exposed from the lower level of seats.
This means that either Megan Joy Corkey or Scott MacIntyre is facing the axe. She wasn’t bottom three last week so maybe the Vote for the Worst faction is finally working after going 0-3 in the semi-finals.
Ryan is still talking when the show returns. “It’s been confirmed, they’re dating,” he says to Paula. Who? Inquiring minds want to know! He introduces Smokey and Joss Stone. Smokey is dressed up nice, but his face looks like he just finished being the guest on Nip/Tuck. This is a slow jam that John Hodgman could groove. The wife thinks this duet is creepy since Smokey is old enough to be her grandfather. As if that ever stopped a showbiz icon from hitting on a groupie.
Time to go through the bottom row. After being in the bottom three last week, Allison Iraheta gets to sweat. But she’s safe. Anoop stands up. He has a little fear when Ryan teases him, but he’s safe. Danny Gokey is also safe. America disagrees with Simon’s judgement of Danny. Scott MacIntyre and Megan Joy Corkrey stand up together. Scott is given the bad news that Megan is safe. Ryan walks him over to the middle of the stage to line up with Matt Giraud and Michael Sarver. Randy says that Matt doesn’t deserve to be there since he rocked the mic. Ryan decides to let the third worst get to return to his seat. Scott MacIntyre can enjoy the sounds of Stevie Wonder from the safety of the sofa.
Matt and Michael are left to sweat it out. It Matt gets the bad news, will Simon save him? Or will he reserve it for the day America gets sick of his beloved Megan Joy?
Ryan asks Simon about the judges save. The buzz boy swears he’s only going to have it decided on the loser’s final performance. Shouldn’t they have to sing a new song that America already didn’t hate?
Stevie Wonder is working the grand piano. Did you know that Scott MacIntyre isn’t the first blind singer who plays piano? You wouldn’t know it from the Idol judges. But Stevie has proven that you can perform without eyesight. Stevie still sounds great after all these decades. If you get a chance, watch Stevie’s performance in Muscle Beach Party. He made Frankie and Annette shake it in the sand.
The Osbournes Reloaded looks like Graham Norton Goes Family Style.
We have Michael Sarver and Matt Giraud next to Ryan. We get the tease of the 36 million callers. It’s Michael Sarver that gets the boot. Simon won’t think twice about saving the roughneck. He’s no Red Adair busting the flame. Sarver still sings even after Stevie Wonder has wooed the crowd. Simon and Randy go through the motions like there’s a chance they’ll give him a reprieve. Paula dances around. She’s knows the guy is doomed. Simon’s probably asking Randy about getting a table at STK or Mr Chows. Sarver sounds better tonight, but he’s not worth burning a save ticket. He’s on the tour. That should be good enough for him.
Ryan asks the judge’s for the verdict. Simon says they haven’t decided. Way to drop the ball. He attempts to put Paula on the spot, but she refuses. She knows this save card is all Simon’s decision. Simon finally says no. Now we get the parting video. It just doesn’t hurt to see Sarver go since he’s not going anywhere. Ryan reminds him on stage that he’s going on tour. He won’t be heading back to the oil fields this year.
