Ryan keeps reminding us of the prize getting one step close for the nine remaining contestants. It’s so tense with the remaining folks in museum poses. Once more they bring out the judges at the back of the stage and have them do the walk of shame to their table. It’s almost like they should be battling it out on the stage. I’d choose Paula in a street fight since she’s got full blown crazy going for her. Never bet against crazy.
Ryan pays tribute to the dead homie of Michael Sarver. But don’t get sad since he’ll be on tour this summer. Kara says artistry gives us goosebumps and makes us want to buy the record. What about just rewatching their performances on youtube while at work?
The theme for tonight is any song that was a popular download on iTunes. What? The nine contestants drop by Ryan’s American Top 40‘s recording session. It’s kind of sad and lonely in the room. Ryan does have a gold microphone like Rush Limbaugh. Are there still 40 songs each week worth listening to?
Anoop is going first. He’s doing to try Usher’s “Caught Up.” He’s got a black jacket with the lapels turned up. I’m not feeling it. This is a rather disjointed song. Maybe it works it for Usher, but this is not a great sing along kinda piece. It picks up at the end, but is it enough? Randy thinks vocally it’s cool, but he didn’t think it was the right song for him. Kara doesn’t think he didn’t go crazy with the range. She fears it was like a bunch of frat guys dared him to do Usher. Paula is happy he went back to the playful side. Thinks he needs to work on the signature moves with the band. Simon dismisses Paula. He declares it a complete and utter mess. “You came over as a wannabe,” Simon rants. He swears he now has a headache. Anoop’s big problem is being the first out of the gate which is never good for staying out of the bottom three.
Did Ryan really say that coming up next is Bob Marley courtesy of Megan? Why do I live in horrific fear of this upcoming act? Are we really supposed to be excited? This goes up with being asked, “Would you like to see nude pictures of your grandmother that she took at Hedonism II last week?” My ears are already bleeding from the impending musical butchery. Will she do “Three Little Birds” and make that caw caw warble?
Ryan says all these songs will Megan Joy Corkrey will do Bob Marley with Lauryn Hill’s “Turn Your Lights Down Low.” This is one of those collaborations from the grave. She’s got more necklaces than the jewelry section of Target. She does that warble that’s supposed to be seductive. Maybe if you’re a dentist with a Listerine fetish. She wants to give us some love. Enough yakking and keep quiet while loving me. It’s over and my life will never be the same. I’ll have to resort to Vigra. Kara likes her, but thinks she’s in trouble. She got irritated by her warble. Paula wishes Megan could take us by supply. Simon is being a complete asshat to Paula tonight. Guess he’s upset the media is now pondering which of his dozen reality shows he’ll quit. Simon thinks the song was boring and all the things he liked about her is disappearing. Randy compares it to paint drying. Megan thinks the audience and her fans were feeling it. What is this it? Simon is getting frustrated with her. Does this mean she hasn’t put out? She not getting his Pat O’Brien messages? She always has the Vote for the Worst crowd loving her. The fact that she wasn’t the bottom three for the last few weeks will keep her safe. Unless Simon decides it’s time for her to be sacrificed to his Temple of Manboobs.
What the heck makes a song a popular download? How many units had to be moved? Or do you just have to be on iTunes? This does mean no Beatles tunes tonight. Tonight’s episode ends at 9:25 p.m. so they can sneak in the Osbournes Reloaded onto people’s DVRs.
Danny Gokey is looking spikey. He’s gone sad again with “What Hurts the Most” by Rascal Flatts. He thinks everybody likes Rascal Flatts. I’d rather listen to the Young Rascals. They’ve got a fiddle player at the foot of the stage. Danny does have the ability to grab the tearjerker song and make it work. The man’s got the biography that makes you know these lines do matter to him. He’s got the emotional package. It’s like watching Mickey Rourke in The Wrestler. That might not be his life, but we’re seeing his soul. Paula swears she’d hit repeat in her car. Simon thinks it’s his best performance. He’s blown away by how Danny is so much better tonight than the first two. Randy thinks tonight’s show has just started. He wants Danny to rock the microphone stand. Kara says he moved everyone in the room emotionally. She talks of him connecting with the audience. None of the judges want to mention the elephant in the room – that Gokey’s singing for his departed wife.
Allison Iraheta is not only doing “Don’t Speak” by No Doubt, but playing the guitar. They spiked up her hair and strapped on the guitar. She looks like she’s in a Babes In Toyland coverband. Is Kinderwhore making a comeback. Can’t tell if she’s actually playing the guitar. It’s almost distracting. Keep waiting for her to solo. Her vocals are good, but the guitar is mehhhh. Randy isn’t sure what to make of her outfit. He thought she got a little ahead of the band. Kara also has an issue with the outfit. It’s distracting. Not her best performance. Paula liked seeing the guitar since it brought out another aspect. Paula thinks she’s skating by and going right to the finish line. Simon compares the outfit to the Addams Family. He thought she shouted the song. Randy disagrees.
Scott McIntyre will strip things down with Billy Joel’s “Just The Way You Are.” It’s just him and the piano. After last week’s bottom three with both piano men, he’s going to for the big gun. The wife points out that Scott has really slowed it down. They did Scott’s har so he looks like Shadoe Stevens’ son. The end note goes on a little too much. It’s piano bar nice. Kara thinks he picked the right song. He sang to the audience. She loves the new look. Paula is most proud of Scott, but has nothing to do with his challenge, but everything to do with forgetting that he has that challenge. Paula thinks the risk of not using the orchestra paid off. Simon thinks it’s his best performance by a country mile. They have miles in England? He gets snippy with Paula. Randy thinks it was one of the best of the night.
Top Chef‘s Padma gets dripping nasty with a Hardee’s burger. I’ll lick any sauce off her arm scar. Did you see that her ex-husband Salman Rushdie was at Perez Hilton’s birthday party? What the hell? People were concerned that this guy was going to get killed after writing Satanic Verses and now he’s partying with the Queen of All Media. Word has broken that Perez now has three writers blogging for his site while he is a party boy. I’m spreading the rumor that Salman Rushdie is now writing Perez’s column. Please pass it on.
Matt Giraud is still shocked that he was at the bottom last week. He busts out The Fray’s “You Found Me.” He plays the keyboard inside the audience pit. I’m sort of finding it. Is he wearing a Member’s Only jacket? It looks like he’s going to for a Top of the Pops vibe. Will Gary Numan be the next act? Paula appreciates him going contemporary, but doesn’t like how he abandoned the falsetto. It reminds her of his Coldplay debacle. Simon thinks Matt should be happy since they don’t like him this week. He felt it wasn’t a good commercial song. Randy feels it was the wrong song. He felt he needed to let the soul out of his voice. Kara thinks he needs to quit bouncing between the rock side of pop and the soul side. She begs for people to not vote him off. Almost sounds critical for him.
Lil Rounds took her time to pick the right song this time. She went with Celine Dion’s “I Surrender.” Should anyone with a soulful voice seek refuge in the Ice Queen of the Great White North? This song sounds like it’s from the Broadway version of the Helen Reddy Story. It’s a big note epic in the second half. Randy doesn’t think this would be his song choice for her, but she sang it really well. Kara was surprised at the effortless nature of Lil when she goes up on the notes. Paula doesn’t want to see an Adult Contemporary Lil Rounds. Simon thinks it was a safe song. He compares it to a wedding performance. How many weddings does this guy really attend? Lil’s kids get interviewed by Ryan. Ryan asks if one of the kids wants to punch Randy for what he said about mom. One wants to, but she ends up hugging Randy. Another case of a little kid saving a parent’s bacon on this show. Lil’s now safe with this cute coda.
Adam Lambert is up with his theatrical world. He’s getting funky by wailing on “Play That Funky Music” by Wild Cherry. He’s got the funky light show. He’s slicked his hair back again. He got the Axl Rose falsetto in overdrive. My wife thinks it’s better than his Johnny Cash selection. Lambert would have been amazing in the era of the hairbands. He’s once more the showman. Paula compares him to Mick Jagger and Steven Tyler. Simon is happy to not hear karaoke nonsense. Randy doesn’t think it was corny. He’s in the star zone. Lambert gives praise to the band for hooking him up. Kara is excited to see what he’ll do next. “It’s like Studio 57 in here,” she says. What the hell is Studio 57? There’s Studio 54, the famous disco. Maybe Heinz had a disco in Pittsburgh that Kara loved?
Next Tuesday brings back Fringe. Guess that means Idol will be shorter with the 8 remaining contestants moving fast. Maybe it will be favorite commercial jingles?
Kris Allen wants to make Bill Withers’ “Ain’t No Sunshine” his own song. He’s swapping the guitar for the piano. It’s a major gambit. A string quartet supplements his keyboards. He’s working it right so it’s not karaoke night. He’s nailing the plea sound. A good caper to the night even thought he’s got a lot of heavy breathing in the microphone. Randy swears he’s in the zone. Kara has three words, “That Is Artistry.” Paula thinks it could be the first cut from his album. Simon sees him showing confidence. He’s impressed.
Ryan reminds folks to vote for your favorite cause nobody is truly safe. What’s the breakdown for tonight’s iTune sponsored performances:
PAY FOR THE DOWNLOAD: Danny Gokey, Kris Allen & Adam Lambert
WATCH ON YOUTUBE: Lil Rounds, Scott MacIntyre & Allison Iraheta
DELETE NOW: Matt Giraud, Anoop Desai & Megan Joy Corkrey
Who goes home tomorrow? Normally I’d say Megan Joy Corkrey, but the vote for the Worst People have been keeping her at least 4th from the bottom. They can’t let her down now that Simon’s turned on the tattooed warbling love goddess. Anoop might still be getting the UNC love with the Tarheels in the Final Four. Seems that Matt Giraud is the odd man out. The dueling pianist is taking the fall. Remember kids, when in a competition, always go with your strengths.
