What contestant will be banished from the stage because they were born in a sucky year for music? The show opens with the kids talking about the pressure of the competition. We get highlights of the judge’s criticisms. Ryan assures us that the singers left it all on the stage. I do hope the janitorial staff was able to sanitize the studio cause there are OSHA standards to be observed. Ryan warns us of our upcoming performers from the night. Flo Rida and Kelly Pickler will pump up their career.
Randy admits he was disappointed outside of a couple of performances last night. Kara thinks there are early front runners who don’t know who they are as artists. Others are delivering every week. Paula found another photo of herself as a kid. It’s a paste job with her and Simon on an ancient baby pic. They play Frankie Avalon’s “Venus” since it was the top of the charts when Simon was born. They are playing this vintage video clip really long. It’s like the Conway Twitty bit on last Sunday’s Family Guy. But wait, we get a real punchline: the real Frankie Avalon has entered the studio and sings to the crowd. He was robbed of Oscar glory when the Academy refused to see the genius in Dr. Goldfoot and the Bikini Machine. Frankie blows kisses to the crowd. Where’s Moondoggie and Annette. Simon was born in 1959. Simon is about to be 50. Frankie looks like a leaner William Shatner now.
The group song is going to be from 2002. They’re doing “Can’t Get You Out of My Head.” I think I head a live microphone from Allison. Oh wait, it does sound like they are all live singing with a taped backing vocal. They finally responded to the criticism of the lip syncing. And now we are suffering for their artistic integrity. Lil Round sounds better, according to the wife. These kids have zero harmonization skills. That was painful.
Here’s a strange question: if it’s supposed to be “water,” shouldn’t Vitamin Water have less than 10 calories? I know the water comes from my sink has 0 calories. By the way, a bottle of Vitamin Water allegedly contains 2 1/2 servings. So it’s 25 calories in a bottle that pimps the 10 calories on the side.
After all those commercials, it’s time to watch the group’s Ford commercial. But first we’re given a few minutes of behind the scenes footage Adam Lambert admits he’s theatrical! It’s a magic theme to the ad. It’s all done to Britney Spears’ “Circus.” I’m so ready to buy a moped.
The eight contestants are on the sofa. Ryan asks Adam about getting the standing ovation from Simon. He’s extremely honored by the gesture. Simon drinks from his Coke cup. The mayor of Kalamazoo, Michigan is the crowd. Guess he needed something to do when there was no Michigan State party.
Ryan admits the judges save is only good for three more weeks. This won’t be around to fix a Top 4 voting disaster.
Adam Lambert, Anoop Desai and Kris Allen stand up. The three judges that didn’t get to criticize Adam Lambert get to give him praise. He’s told to sit down. Anoop Desai and Kris Allen are told that one of them is in the bottom three. It’s Anoop that’s sent to the loser bar stools! Where’s Ty Lawson to bail him out?
Flo Rida comes out with his rap attack. He removes is hoodie and does a rap that includes “The shorties.” Did MC PeePants approve of him doing that? This entire song is him ripping off “You Spin Me Round (Like a Record).” What? A tough black man is quoting the freaky semi-tranny guy from Dead Or Alive. Nice to see a reference to “a couple of grams” on a family friendly show. He’s got the skanky ladies dancing. Ryan thinks this was hot. This guy is touring around the world? The Mayan Doomsday can’t get here fast enough. Do any of Flo Rida’s dates coincide with Nic Cage’s list of disaster numbers? I can’t wait to see his cousins Al Bama and Geor Gia.
Danny Gokey stands up. Ryan uses the silent tension moment, but it’s not shock to have him sit back down. He’s safe. Matt Giraud is next to stand up. Can he survive after being on the barstools for the last two nights. Ryan teases him about having to once more deal with the stress….of staying in the competition. He has to sit down. Scott MacIntyre is told to stand up. We’re reminded of his guitar playing on the song by Survivor not called “Eye of the Tiger.” Without much suspense, Scott is lead across the stage to the barstools. Allison Iraheta and Lil Rounds are asked to stand up. Is there any chance we don’t know who is going to the barstool. Allison is reminded she’s been in the bottom three before and Lil hasn’t. Ryan fools Allison into thinking America hates her, but she’s really safe. Lil Rounds is going across the stage.
Simon says one person in particular might get the save. Going to put money down that it isn’t Scott.
Anoop, Lil and Scott sit on the barstools of dread. From their perch they must watch Kellie Pickler. She must be an inspiration since she only finished 6th on the fifth season. She sings “The Best Days of Your Life.” Pickler has a ring that’s the size of Big Mac. Her skirt is hiked up high enough to be considered the first dance wardrobe at the Foxy Lady. This song keeps going on as she sings about some cheating guy who is getting married to another woman. If the best thing this guy did was bang Kellie Pickler, he’s obviously never been to the Rochester Sizzler. She co-wrote the song with Taylor Swift. When Disney and American Idol mate joke should go here. Ryan jokes that she needs to go backstage to have some calamari.
Ryan is going to send one of the three back to safety. Anoop’s name comes up first. But he’s told to stay where he is. Lil Rounds is sent back to the sofa. It’s Anoop and Scott. Who will get the chance to sing for their life?
Out of 34 million votes only 30,000 separated the two. Scott got the lowest number of votes. Anoop is safe. He won’t be returning to Chapel Hill as a loser. Scott is given a chance to sing for his life. It’s the same hideous Survivor power ballad. Was it fair that the producers picked his worst singing moment to highlight at the end of last night’s episode with the 1-866 numbers? It was a hit job. I sense they were getting sick of having to stage the dance numbers around him. He sounds better tonight except he hits one flat note near the end. He shouldn’t have gone with the guitar last night.
Now the time comes for Simon to say if he wants Scott to go home. Two judges want him to stay and two judges want him to go. In case of tie – whatever Simon wants is the way it goes. Will Simon blow the save on him. Simon swears he likes Scott, but it’s all about if the other 7 are less talented than him. “I can please you in other weeks, Simon,” Scott pleads. That’s just creepy. Simon gets pushed to make a decision. It’s a no. Scott is gone. Here comes the sad montage with that hideous cover of “Home Sweet Home.” Scott will be coming to an arena near you with more songs you forgot were sung by Survivor. Paula has a last word for Scott. He’s been an inspiration to the whole world and she loves him.
