IT’S THE 2009 WWE DRAFT!
We get a recap of what happened last week and this includes the return of Batista. Thank you Norine for covering me last week, you are always awesome!
All of tonight’s matches are going to be interpromotional matches and the winner of the match, their brand will get a draft pick. All six of our commentators are here tonight! Tonight, we will have a 15 man tri-branded battle royal and we get Cena v. Swagger Champion v. Champion match; with each match worth two draft picks tonight!
Batista makes his way out to the ring, dressed for action, but he is here to talk. He misses being in the ring and it took him four months to come back. It was worth it because he wanted payback. We go back four months and we replay the concussion kick from Randy Orton. He replayed that moment in his head repeatedly over the past four months. All he had done was wait…wait…and wait some more. Now he wants Randy Orton. He calls Orton a punk and he calls him to come out to the ring, or he will find him. Orton doesn’t come out, so Batista goes to leave…only to be interrupted by Shane McMahon.
Shane welcomes Batista back and he voices how Randy messed with the McMahon family. Shane wants retribution tonight as well. This, of course, brings out the WWE Champion, Triple H. He apologizes to Shane for what Orton did to the family. With all due respect to Dave, Orton took out his wife. Trips is going to finish this and that Randy is his.
EXCUSE ME! Can’t Shane fire Vickie Guerrero? She decrees that she will decide who faces who. She reminds them that they have to wait until Backlash to get their hands on Legacy. She says that the “Title changes hands on a DQ or Countout” will be in effect. She is nice, though. She wants to give one of the three a chance…but Orton will have the night off. So it’s Backlash’s main event, sans Orton tonight. If Legacy wins, no one gets Orton; if the three wins, the winner of the fall gets Orton one-on-one next week. Again, why can’t Shane change the rules?
Rey v. Evan…NEXT!
Commercials.
Rey Mysterio v. Evan Bourne
RAW v. ECW
The bell sounds and they shake hands. They feel each other out and we get the Greco-Roman knuckle-lock. We flip over and Bourne sends Rey to the apron, SUNSET FLIP OVER THE TOP COUNTERED BY REY! Rey drop toe holds Evan into the barricade. Back inside and Rey gets a cover at one. Evan misses a clothesline, but he gets Rey off a springboard for our MID-AIR COLLISION! Evan works a chinlock, but Rey gets out of it. Standing moonsault connects after a kick to the head. Evan goes up top and Rey scouts him. Top rope flip-hurrancurana gets two and three quarters! Knee lift to the face to Reym but Rey dials it up! He goes to the top and he hits the splash for the win!
Winner: Rey Mysterio in 3:23
Grade: C
RAW GETS MONTEL VONTANIOUS PORTER!
MVP comes out to celebrate, but Kane is walking to the ring.
Commercials.
Chief Jay Strongbow is in the house tonight and Lawler jokes about him wanting a piece of Jericho tonight.
Kane v. THE Brian Kendrick
RAW v. SmackDown
Kendrick starts off with a slap and he hightails it. Kane takes out Kendrick’s associate and Kendrick is cornered. He goes for “The Kendrick”, but he gets slammed to hell.
Winner: Kane in 40 seconds
Grade: F-
RAW GETS BIG SHOW!
Commercials.
Vickie is excited to be on RAW and she has support from the Board of Directors. Orton charges in and he tells Vickie that he can persuade the Board of Directors to kick her off the helm. She pleases Randy by saying that if Legacy wins, the one they beat gets to face all of them next week.
Cena and Swagger have a heart to heart. Sadly, Swagger sucks and Cena saves the segment.
Six Divas…NEXT!
Commercials. – Come chat with us! The link is at the top.
Melina, Mickie James, & Kelly Kelly v. Natalya, Maryse, & Michelle McCool
RAW v. SmackDown
It’s balls to the wall from the get go and the match starts proper with Mickie and Michelle. Michelle takes it to Mickie, scoring a few uppercuts in. Mickie gets a snapmare and follows with a dropkick to take control. Mickie gets out of the corner and she is spunky tonight. Off the top, she lands in a boot and that’s over. What a waste.
Winners: Nayalya, Maryse, & Michelle McCool in 1:14
Grade: F-
SMACKDOWN GETS MELINA!
Cena walks. Champion v. Champion is NEXT!
Commercials.
WWE REWIND:Â Cena goes nuts on Edge verbally!
Michael Cole calls this the most emotional speech in history. I don’t get SmackDown anymore, so I wouldn’t know. We recap what happened in the first hour of RAW.
John Cena v. Jack Swagger
RAW Champion v. ECW Champion
They lock up and Swagger sweeps the leg of Cena for a takedown. Swagga dances around and Cena isn’t taking any of it. Swagger goes low and he takes Cena down and he applies a headlock. Cena charges with a punch and he hits a shouldertackle. Swagger takes a powder out of the ring, but Cena turns him inside out with a lariat. Back inside, Cena gets a two count. Swagger telegraphs Cena and he gets a cover and a two count. To the corner we go and Swagger throws punches.. Hard Irish whip to the opposite corner sends Cena’s back up his spine. Jack takes Cena down with a clothesline for a two count. He chokes Cena out in the corner. Cena fights back and we go corner to corner. Cena misses the charge and FULL NELSON BY SWAGGER! Cena goes SUPER on Swagger, but he can’t break the hold yet. A second attempt and CENA BREAKS FREE! Shoulder tackle! PROTOBOMB! It’s time and Swagger can’t see him. Five Knuckle Shuffle hits and Cena takes it home with the AA, oh wait, Swagger gets the ropes. Off the AA attempt, Swagger kicks Cena in the head for two. He sends Cena to the corner and we gotta take a break at 5:31.
Commercials.
We’re back at 8:40 and both men are down. During the break, Cena gets sent to the announce table from off the apron. Both men are up and Cena hits the Taker-esque punches. SWAGGER COUNTERS WITH A SICK ONE LEGGED DDT! A counter within a counter there, folks. Swagger gets a high knee for a two count. Cena floats over, but Swagger has Cena with a powerslam and a two count. Swagger is actually doing better than I thought he would. Off the turnbuckle, Swagger leaps onto Cena’s shoulders for the Attitude Adjustment! STF gets applied and RAW gets two picks.
Winner: John Cena in 11:31
Grade: B
RAW GETS MATT HARDY & TRIPLE H
SmackDown is being gutted tonight!
Edge sneaks up behind Cena while he stares at Trips. However, Cena fends Edge off.
Commercials.
We’re back and we recap the Draft so far. Randy Orton is in the locker room and he has a chat with the other Legacy members. They hope to use their ego against them tonight.
Santino Marella is in action…NEXT!
Last week: Santin”a” beat Beth Phoenix. Yes, you read that right. Nice to see them rehash Rico’s and Billy & Chuck’s theme music.
Santino Marella v. The Great Khali (w/ hot pink pants)
RAW v. SmackDown
Before the match begins, Beth Phoenix and Rosa Mendez come out to the ring. She had a talk with Vickie Guerrero for an additional stipulation. If Santino loses, his alto-ego has to kiss Khali.
The bell rings and Santino gets thrown down. Khali chokes Santino and he holds onto the ropes for safety. Santino runs into a brick wall. Chop by Khali and Santino loses.
Winner: Khali in 58 seconds
Grade: F-
SMACKDOWN GETS CM PUNK!
NO! NO! NO!
Miz & Morrison walk to the ring.
Commercials.
The Miz (w/John Morrison) v. Kofi Kingston
ECW v. RAW
They lock up and jockey for position before Kofi gets control. Kofi leaps and frogs around and he takes Miz down before locking the arm. Miz takes Kofi down, but Kofi kips up. Down again, kip back up. Kofi armdrags Miz out of the ring and Kofi wants to take both men out. Instead, he fakes the plancha and he baseball slides Miz. Morrision distracts and Miz returns the favor. Outside the ring, Miz drops Kofi on the apron and mocks him. Back inside and he covers for two. Chinlock on Kofi applied and Kofi comes back up. Miz takes Kofi back down and he continues the pressure on the neck. Kingston comes back, but gets kneelifted in the face. Miz hits a top turnbuckle bulldog and gets two on Kingston. Miz goes up and over, snapping Kingston’s arm on the ropes. Back inside, he gets two. Kofi comes back again and he gets out of it. Snapmare takedown hits and Kofi beats Miz to the punch. Throat jab connects and Miz rolls out of the way. Kick to Miz’s face! Crossbody connects, but Miz rolls through for two. Faceplant connects, but gets two. Kofi slides through and tries a pin attempt, but settles for a Jamican Leg Sweep instead. Double leg drop gets TWO! Trouble in Paradise MISSES, but Kofi gets out of a pin predicament! Miz gets a rollup, but Kofi rolls through and the match IS NOT OVER! To the corner we go and Miz eats a boot. Morrison grabs Kofi, but the referee sees it for a DQ. Lame.
Winner: Kofi Kingston via DQ at 8:49
Grade: B-
RAW GETS THE MIZ!
Miz and Morrison hug, and Morrison GETS HIS REALITY CHECKED! Thanks for the memories, Miz & Morrison.
The battle royal is NEXT!
Commercials.
15 Man Tri-Branded Battle Royal
RAW: MVP, Cryme Tyme, Mike Knox, & Big Show
ECW: Finlay, Ricky Ortiz, Tyson Kidd, Paul Burchill, & Mark Henry
SmackDown: Carlito, Primo, R-Truth, Chavo Guerrero, & Edge
It’s balls to the wall and the action is everywhere. Ricky Ortiz and someone else leave the action. The bodies fly and three SD stars leave the ring. Tyson Kidd is gone. Carlito gets sent out and it’s down to five. Mark Henry tosses MVP out and it’s down to Henry, Show, Edge, and Finlay. Edge just dumped Finlay and Edge mocks the mosters behind him. Show takes Edge down with a chokeslam and Henry goes on the attack. Show and Henry teeter on the apron! Headbutt to Henry and Henry holds on. ECW goes down the sh*tter and it’s down to Edge and Big Show. Show eliminates himself with the help of Edge, HAHA!
Winner: Edge & SmackDown in 5:32
Grade: N/A
SMACKDOWN GETS KANE & CHRIS JERICHO!
Commercials.
ECW needs a win tonight, so here’s Christian!
Christian v. Shelton Benjamin
ECW v. SmackDown
The bell sounds and Benjamin gets a T-Bone Suplex OFF THE BAT for two! He takes it to Christian in the early going. Drop toe hold on the ring ropes and Christian gets the offense in…until BENJAMIN GETS A GRECO-ROMAN THROW THAT THROWS HIM OUT OF THE RING, OPPOSITE SIDE! Back inside, Benjamin gets two. Hard scoop slam connects and Benjamin works on the back and neck. Grisham drops the hint about Punk possibly cashing in on Money in the Bank tonight. Christian gets some momentum on Benjamin. He ducks a springboard crossbody attempt by Benjamin. Christian gets the flurry of fists on Benjamin. He ducks an enzugiri and goes for the KillSwitch. Benjamin goes for an electric chair, but Christian lands on his feet, backbreaker gets two. Benjamin misses the splash and Christian gets the KillSwitch!
Winner: Christian in 3:46
Grade: C+
ECW GETS VLADIMIR KOSLOV!
Commercials.
We’re back and we pimp the card to Backlash! Backstage, Trips and Shane have a heart for heart. Batista is here as well. He’s ok with it being every man for himself.
Commercials (again?)
ITS CLOBBERIN’ TIME!
CM Punk v. Matt Hardy
SmackDown v. RAW
The bell sounds and Punk gets a quick one count. Twist of Fate attempt is countered to a GTS attempt, which is also countered. Punk gets another pin attempt for one. We go corner to corner. Punk gets DROPPED ON HIS FACE IN THE CORNER! Punk barely kicks out! Matt takes advantage with the stiff kicks and Matt gets another two count. He locks on an octopus stretch and Punk is reeling. Punk digs deep and he tries to get out of it. Kick to the midsection connects. He takes Matt off his feet for a two count! Punk goes on the attack, but Matt sends Punk to the opposite corner. Bulldog attempt is countered to Punk’s version and that gets two. GTS attempt is blocked, but the Side Effect connects! Jeff interferes and that costs Punk the match!
Winner: Matt Hardy via DQ at 4:23
Grade: C
Jeff Hardy runs away and CM Punk is pissed off.
RAW GETS MARYSE!
Commercials.
Here’s what seems to be the final draft pick match for the evening!
Chris Jericho v. Tommy Dreamer
SmackDown v. ECW
First time match here! Dreamer goes down and Jericho gets arm dragged by him. Jericho goes out of the ring. Dreamer gets back inside the ring and he suffers Jericho’s onslaught. Jericho goes for a suplex, but Dreamer counters it to his own suplex. Corner to corner we go and Dreamer eats a boot! Jericho chokes away and he slaps Dreamer around. Chinlock applied, but Dreamer gets out of it. Clotheslines to Jericho and Dreamer is building momentum. KICK TO THE RIBS and Jericho is in the Tree of Woe! He connects with the dropkick! DDT attempt, but Jericho counters to the Walls! Dreamer gets out of it and he gets a cradle for two! SPINEBUSTER BY DREAMER GETS TWO! CLOSE! Dreamer goes to the top and he gets hung off the top! Jericho goes to the top and Dreamer fights him off. Dreamer off the ropes…CODEBREAKER! That’s all!
Winner: Chris Jericho in 4:30
Grade: C
SMACKDOWN GETS REY MYSTERIO!
Priceless makes their way to the ring as we take a break.
Commercials.
RAW GETS: Triple H, Maryse, MVP, Matt Hardy, Big Show & the Miz
SMACKDOWN GETS: Melina, Rey Mysterio, Kane, Chris Jericho & CM Punk
ECW Gets: Vladimir Koslov
Thursday on SUPERSTARS: Undertaker v. Matt Hardy!
We’re back and it’s time for the MAIN EVENT!
Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase v. Triple H, Shane McMahon, & Batista
Two-on-Three Handicap Match
Shane starts the match for the team and he takes it to Rhodes. Flying elbow connects and Rhodes kicks out at two. Batista tags himself in and he takes out Ted DiBiase, who is also the legal man. Snapmare connects and that is followed by a big boot. Trips pulls DiBiase closer and he tags himself in to get him a piece of DiBiase. Knee Smash connects and Trips follows with a clothesline for two. DiBiase fends off the charge, but eats a spinebuster anyway and Batista breaks the pin attempt. DiBiase capitalizes on this and they double team Trips. DiBiase drops the elbows on Trip’s quadriceps. Kick to DiBiase, Dropkick to Trips for two! Rhodes is in the fray and he locks on an Indian Deathlock! Trips kicks out twice at two each time. Tag to DiBiase and they work on the leg. Trips gets out of a pin attempt at two. Trips fends off DiBiase and he reaches for a tag, but DiBiase drags Trips over to Rhodes, who gets a tag. Rhodes gets two off that pin. CrossRhodes attempt is countered and both men are down! Tag to DiBiase and tag to Batista! Up and over goes DiBiase! He takes everyone out and he hits a powerslam on DiBiase for two. Shane takes out Rhodes and its one on one! SPINEBUSTER CONNECTS ON DIBIASE! BATISTA BOMB CONNECTS! Shane BREAKS THE COUNT! ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE! Trips tags himself in and the two go face to face. Shane takes out Batista and Trips cleans up house for the win.
Winner: Triple H, Shane McMahon, & Batista in 7:33
Grade: B
Trips v. Randy Orton NEXT WEEK!
The three men stand tall over DiBiase and Randy Orton makes his way onto the stage.
Show over.
The WWE RAW Report Card
Trips, Shane, & Batista d. Priceless: B
Chris Jericho d. Tommy Dreamer: C
Matt Hardy d. CM Punk via DQ: C
Christian d. Shelton Benjamin: C+
Edge wins the Tri-Branded Battle Royal: N/A
Kofi Kingston d. the Miz via DQ: B-
The Great Khali d. Santino Marella: F-
John Cena d. Jack Swagger: B
Natalya, Maryse, & Michelle McCool d. Kelly Kelly, Mickie James, & Melina: F-
Kane d. THE Brian Kendrick: F-
Rey Mysterio d. Evan Bourne: C
The Final Grade for WWE RAW 4.13.2009: C-
The Inside Pulse
We had eleven matches tonight with three of them being real stinkers. The Draft did it’s thing this year and I gotta say, I expected SmackDown getting raped this year, but they got a decent line of talent. Keep it to the Pulse for post-draft coverage all week!
