The theme of this evening’s selections is “Music from the Movies.” This is a normal challenge. But what’s disconcerting is the mentor for the kids is Quentin Tarantino. Really? Why do they pick him to mentor the kids? Sure people remember the songs from his movies, but remember that he doesn’t commission artists to write new songs for his film. He can’t even be seen as the song selection genius since Karyn Rachtman was the music supervisor on Dogs and Pulp Fiction. Far as his ability to sing, I’m still spending good money to forget his horrific performance of “Blow You a Kiss in the Wind” on Saturday Night Live. Redd Kross did it so much better on the Teen Babes From Monsanto EP. There’s no purpose in letting this director mentor the 7 remaining kids. He could give them tips on how to get high and suck on Uma Thurman’s toes for hours (if rumors of the debauchery on Kill Bill‘s Chinese location are true).
David Lynch would be the perfect director to talk about music with performers. He helped produce Roy Orbison’s re-recording of his hits. But Lynch doesn’t have a major motion picture to pimp like Tarantino. For those eager to see Inglourious Basterds, let it be known that this film won’t test your World War II trivia. This movie is not a remake or connected to Enzo Castellari’s Inglorious Bastards starring Fred Williamson. They should fire any film critic that claims it’s a remake.
The big question of the night is if Tarantino will attempt to fondle the toes of Paula or Kara during the breaks? I’ll guess he’d go for Paula’s toys since he’s old school.
Ryan opens the show by telling us how the Top 7 have dominated the small screen for weeks and now they’re going to challenge the big screen of the movies. He walks past the kids. Tarantino is at the end of the row in a dark leather jacket. He says “This is American Idol” without sounding like a homeboy. Did he have his ghetto pass revoked? Randy Jackson is wearing a sweater with a yellow stripe. It’s like a Formula One version of a Cosby sweater. Kara DioGuardi has a grey cocktail dress. Paula Abdul is wearing a very glittery dress. Simon Cowell is back in a charcoal grey sweater. How drab. Ryan declares tonight a historic evening. Simon said they have to talk two at a time to save time on the judging. Guess a lot of people were pissed when their DVRs shut down early. Why don’t these people just tape Fringe?
Little Steven Zandt is in the audience. My wife says he’s a better mentor since he was an actor on the Sopranos as well as being the guitarist for the Boss.
We gets teasers about the legend of Quentin Tarantino. He changed the course of cinema forever? Really? He’s done barely 6 films. They show us Quentin when he guest judged in Season 3. What a horrible semi-Cesear haircut. He mentors the kid at Fox’s Alfred Newman’s scoring stage. Is his new greasy faux cowlick haircut supposed to make him look like Hitler without the mustache? He swears he’s going to give the kids performance tips.
Allison Iraheta will give us Aerosmith’s “Don’t Want to Miss a Thing from Armageddon. Quentin wants Allison to sing it again. He grabs a chair to take in the second take. He’s practically under her chin. Why to relieve the pressure. The real attempt starts out a little too light. She’s killing time to get to the big notes. She gets the call and response going with the background singers. It picks up. Katie Couric is in the house. The crowd goes nuts. The song just doesn’t work without Bruce Willis dying. Paula thinks she possesses “the same special sauce as Adam.” Simon thinks it was BBQ sauce – hot and spicy. He declares her the girls only hope in the competition. That’s an easy call since she’s only got the declining fortunes of Lil Rounds as a challenge.
Anoop Desai scares me with his choice of Bryan Adams’ “Everything I Do” from Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves. Anything musically connected to Kevin Costner should be avoided. Ever heard the theme to The Postman on karaoke night? Tarantino’s concerned about Anoop doing the song. He wants him to rough it up. He keeps swinging his arm to demonstrate the way the song should go. Why does that remind me of a stage mom in that Danny Bonaduce child star show? Anoop does those weird arm gestures on notes. I’m getting a bad Michael Bolton vibe. He’s just too clean cut in the college threads to make it too dirty. It’s a perfect Middle of the Road ballad. Randy gives him the Anoop Dog. He thinks Anoop is rocking the house and found his zone. Kara agrees his place is pop songs with a touch of soul. Thinks it’s one of his best performances yet. Simon looks frustrated without giving a word. He’s looking to the side.
Adam Lambert wants to do an electronic version of Steppenwolf’s “Born to Be Wild” from Easy Rider. Quentin thinks Adam is the real deal. He merely got a taste of the performance. There’s an electric arc backdrop as the leather jacket wearing Adam hits those Axl notes. He hits a few notes like Ann Wilson of Heart. He’s got the rock’n Broadway sound going through this chestnut. Can I just say that they need to revive “White Trash Wins Lotto” with Adam as the faux Axl? Paula is going nuts. I think she’s going to dismiss him. Paula can’t speak as the crowd keeps screaming. “Paula unloads, “You dare to dance in the path of greatness.” That ought to go up on his bathroom mirror. Simon liked it vocally although he thinks it was <i>Rocky Horror</i> in parts. He doesn’t think it will be as popular as last week’s song. He says Adam was more original doing “Mad World.” Really? Has Simon watched Donnie Darko? It wasn’t that much of a departure.
Matt Giraud is giving us a second dose of Bryan Adams with “Have You Ever Really Loved a Woman” from Don Juan DeMarco. How much Canadian content do we need this evening? Tarantino looks like Boris Karloff while staggering around Matt’s piano during the rehearsal. Matt is back behind the grand piano making sure we remember that he’s the last piano man sitting. When the song picks up, it really hits the adult contemporary vibe. The band is back on stage so we see more human motion than backdrop. High odds that Ryan and Simon will give each other the business over this title. Randy thinks it was an interesting performance. When it hit the bridge it went pitchy. He feels Matt fell down in many places. Kara speaks of the struggle of the rock or soul song. And this time he picked the lukewarm pop song. She appreciates how he tried to make it R&B, but took away the melodies that made it great. Guess we’ll be seeing Matt sweating on a bar stool tomorrow.
If the world is a cruel and mean place, someone will have to drag up “All For Love” from the Three Musketeers. That song had Bryan Adams, Rod Stewart and Sting. If it doesn’t get sung tonight, expect to see the kiddies lip sync it tomorrow.
Danny has settled on Diana Ross’s “Endless Love” from Endless Love. Tarantino wants to see Danny deliver the song. He talks about singing through his toes. Does that count as our foot fetish moment? Danny has the harp next to him. He’s working it hardcore ballad style. I keep waiting for the strings to kick in. Doesn’t happen. Paula says that midway through the song it grabbed her. It slayed at the end. Simon can’t fault how he sang the song. He’s disappointed in how it was the harp and stuck with the song. The arrangement bored him. Simon gets confused because he doesn’t want to look too mean since there’s a chance Danny’s dead wife liked the song. He attempts to make amends, but it plays forced and panicked.
Kris Allen goes for “Falling Slowly” from Once. This is strange since the song works from the interplay wtih Glen Hansard and Markéta Irglová in the film. They give it an organic feel as the music evolves while they’re in a music shop. It’s a perfect love song in the film. Taratino declares he’s playing with the house’s money. Kris keeps it low key. He has the female background singer slide in with vocal. It’s such a great song. He sounds perfect for the words although I’d want it to be a duet. It’s like half a song for people who have seen the film. There’s a reason why this is the best song to win the Oscar in 20 years. Randy doesn’t know because it never caught on for him. It was pitchy. Kara says it was an obscure song, but one of his best moments. Paula chimes in with a yes. Still think it wasn’t a full performance and it drifted too much at the end. He would have been better off doing “When Your Mind’s Mad Up” from the same film.
Anyone else laughing at Burger King’s Square Butts to Sir Mix-A-Lot’s “Baby’s Got back?” That is such a wrong way to promote a kid’s meal. Are we a nation of rump rangers?
If I had to perform a song from a movie for tonight’s competition, I’d do Diana Ross and the Supreme’s “Theme to Dr. Goldfoot and the Bikini Machine.”
Lil Rounds picks Bette Midler’s “The Rose” from The Rose. Quentin is a big fan of Lil Rounds. Is she wearing an open toes shoe? Nope. He wants her to commit to the pop and the gospel elements of the song. Lil keeps it smooth at this first part. The sparse arrangement gives way to the gospel vibe. She really should have stuck with the whole song being gospel. Why switch up when you need to play with your strength? It doesn’t get active enough to escape its soft rock roots. Paula likes it. At least I think she did. Simon thinks Lil’s getting it completely wrong. He felt it was too soft and middle of the road. She’s not the artist he met 7 weeks ago. Simon can’t argue too long cause the DVRs are about to shut down. But he can’t take her doing Bette Midler and not the outrageous Bette.
Here comes the rerun. Let us see if anyone gets the bad note highlight. The producers don’t appear to be hinting about the axe this week unlike poor Scott.
Miley Cyrus and Jennifer Hudson will perform tomorrow night. It’s Miley! Her performance was taped a few weeks ago. Don’t stalk the stage door tomorrow.
Where do our contestants rate on movie night. Let’s judge them by cinema ticket price:
Full Price Ticket:Adam Lambert & Anoop Desai,
Matinee: Danny Gokey & Allison Iraheta
Buck Theater: Lil Rounds, Kris Allen & Matt Giraud
Lil Rounds seems marked for death this week judging from Simon feeling she’s once more let him down.
