Once again Ring of Honor brings us another TV show. Have they found a point yet? Will they ever? Read on to find out…
We start as usual with Mike Hogewood (who still sucks) and Dave Prazak who sucks less. They break some news by saying that Claudio is very European.
Opening Match: Jimmy Jacobs vs. the Necro Butcher
Jimmy Jacobs gets his point across in a great 15 second superstars promo. The his “1…2…3†graphic comes up to reveal he is enbroiled (sic) in hateful feuds with Tyler Black and Necro Butcher. Wow. Just Wow. We also find out he is faulty and evil. Mike Hogewood puts over Jimmy Jacobs heart. Jimmy Jacobs who is a cowardly, exploitive, manipulative heel. Again…wow. Necro Butcher talks and it is not good. Necro has a staple gun to help him. That is enough about pre-match shenanigans.
The match is a pretty lackluster brawl, and we get one bottom crawl for HDNet and one tiny graphic about upcoming shows. RoH needs to use this TV outlet to advertise its live shows! The match goes to the floor and the rules go out the window. The plunder includes Jacobs trying to use a plastic bag to choke out Necro. Necro uses his punch to the head based offense, and while not pretty there is something perversely enjoyable about it. Necro tries to bring the staple gun into the ring which brings out Brodie Lee to draw the disqualification. This was a disappointing match with a disappointing finish. Mike Hogewood puts over the referee’s decision…really?
Winner: Necro Butcher via disqualification.
If you have watched or read one of these reports you know what is next…an interview with a main event participant. This time it is Brent Albright. I dig Albright in the ring, but he did not get a WWE contract for his mic skills.
Eddie Kingston vs. “The New Horror†Sami Callahan
In Callahan’s little promo he moves his lips more than he talks. This is not a video/audio sync issue. He just does that. Eddie Kingston cuts a short promo as well which is not his strong suit (short promos that is). He is one of the best talkers outside of the big leagues, but he needs those long promos putting over feuds to really show it. The crowd is way into Eddie Kingston. Callahan goes for the Koji Clutch quickly…and sloppily. Kingston is fun, but he looks unbelievably indy. Then again, so does Callahan. They put on a stiff match, which is fun, but neither of these guys are the type you want to showcase to bring in the casual fan. Callahan actually gets a fair share of the offense, which looks bad for Kingston considering Callahan got squashed on the debut episode of the show. Kingston gets the win with the Backfist to the future. This was fun…ish.
Winner: “The Last of a Dying Breed†Eddie Kingston
Shocking everyone we go to a backstage interview with the very European Claudio Castagnoli. Did I mention he was very European, because Cladio mentioned it three times in under two minutes. Very European.
We actually get an add for RoH during the show telling fans how they can find out more. There needs to be 1000% more of this. Their TV show needs to be a commercial.
We get an interview with Jerry Lynn talking about winning the RoH title. Lynn is absolutely mind-numbingly boring promo with no intensity. It does not sound like he cares at all.
Bobby Dempsey vs. Orange Cassidy
Orange Cassidy’s ring introduction gets drowned out, but Dempsey only needs a Vader avalanche block and a Death Valley Driver to win. If we follow RoH what we can learn from this match is Bobby Dempsey>Orange Cassidy=Adam Pearce, former NWA Champion. So, Orange Cassidy vs. Blue Demon should be coming your way any time now.
We get Erick Stevens buzzwords: Powerful, Aggressive, Intense, Unstoppable, A Runaway Train. OK
Cheech and Cloudy vs. Rhett Titus and Kenny King
Some guys should get promo time. Some shouldn’t. Cheech and Cloudy, god love ‘em, probably shouldn’t. Kenny King is a star. Rhett has a great gimmick. These guys are a great choice to pair up. When they finish up their run as a tag team, both will probably be better for it. Ring of Honor again advertises upcoming events. One of them happened yesterday…ugh. This match reminds me of a Young Stallions vs. a real tag team match from an old episode of Superstars, and that is not a bad thing. Titus and King get the win with an super awesome double team springboard blockbuster powerbomb. That was seriously sweet. It was pretty much a squash, but this was my favorite match of the show thus far.
Winners: “Addicted to Love†Rhett Titus and “The Pretty Boy Pit Bull†Kenny King via pinfall
TV Main Event: Brent Albright vs. Claudio Castagnoli
The match has televison time remaning. I don’t know why, but that made me mark out. It seems like a main event to a Clash of Champions or something. Both of these guys know how to deliver in a big match and they make this TV match seem like a big match, and they bring the hate to each other, something Jacobs and Necro failed to do in the opener. These guys really go after each other and the result is a damn solid match. Claudio ends up getting the win with a victory roll while grabbing the ropes. This was a great match that told every story it needed to for the TV broadcast.
Winner: Claudio Castagnoli via pinfall.
The end of the show does hype a couple of upcoming shows, but this needs to happen constantly throughout the show.
Big Andy Mac’s Big Andy Final Thoughts: This show is still totally on auto-pilot. They need to figure out the purpose of the show. Right now it seems like Ring of Honor got TV just because it was the next step. They need to figure out what to do with it. I have said this in every review, but these TV shows need to be crazy ridiculous advertisements for the live shows and the Pay per Views. Even if the shows don’t build storylines, the announcers should be putting over the live shows. Hell the commentary on the older DVDs talked about if you like what you see, come see the show live. That is an atmosphere that these TV shows need to create. Also, I will say this of Mike Hogewood. He is not a wrestling commentator, but every week he learns a little bit more and shows he wants to improve. He is a sports broadcaster and those skills show through. He could become a decent commentator. I guess that is all.
I’ll see you next time.
