ECW Real-Time Coverage for 4/21/2009

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Welcome to the EC-Dub!

 

Tonight is the contract signing for the ECW title match between champ Jack Swagger and challenger Christian.  It should be an interesting confrontation.  Hopefully, we’ll get a lot of wrestling as well.

 

Your hosts are Josh Matthews and Matt Striker from Jolly old England. London to be exact.  Cheerio.

 

Hornswoggle comes out with Finlay and apparently Finlay has something to say.  He says his son was drafted to Raw so tonight is Hornswoggle’s last night on ECW.  The crowd takes it hard.  He gives the mic to Hornswoggle so he can tell them what he wants to do.  And he wants to WRESTLE!  Hornswoggle chant begins.  They want to ask Tiffany if they can get a match.  And Hornswoggle wants to thank everyone for their support on ECW.  Tyson Kidd’s music hits and here he comes with Natalya.  Kidd calls him a little midget and says good riddance.  That leaves more time for him.  Finlay says Hornswoggle is a leprechaun and Kidd is a midget.  Natalya says her family trained Kidd and his destiny is to be better than Bret Hart.  Natalya says Kidd would beat him quickly and even Natalya herself could beat him.  Hornswoggle bites her butt.  Hah.  Natalya challenges him to a match. 

 

Commercial break.

 

Natalya and Hornswoggle are in the ring and we’re having a match.

 

Natalya vs. Hornswoggle

Natalya goes for a fingerlock but Hornswoggle is too short.  Natalya with a swat to the face.  Hornswoggle bites the butt again.  Natalya throws him to the ropes and he spears her off the ropes.  Cover for two.  Kidd up on the apron.  He wants to go after Hornswoggle but Finlay dumps him.  Natalya pulls Hornswoggle down.  Hornswoggle rolls up Natalya for the small package. 1,2,3!!

 

Winner: Hornswoggle.  Funny little opener.  They bring some kids to the ring and they do some dancing. 

 

Video package of the upcoming Last Man Standing match between Edge and Cena at Backlash this Sunday.  I hope CM Punk cashes in his contract immediately following the match.

 

Commercial.

 

We’re back and Tiffany is talking to… someone.  Natalya and Tyson Kidd pop in to talk to her.  Natalya says she is a third generation superstar and that “gnome” Hornswoggle needs to be fired.  Tiffany says she needs to be treated with some respect and they don’t just barge in here like that.  She says she’ll set up a tag team match between Kidd and Natalya vs. Finlay and Hornswoggle on WWE Superstars Thursday.  She then dismisses the two so she can get back to the contract signing business.  A funny little bit in there was when Tiffany called Hornswoggle a “pain in the butt”.  Hah.

 

Video package of the Orton-Triple H feud and the upcoming six-man tag match at Backlash.  Give Orton the strap already.

 

Evan Bourne’s music hits and here he comes!  He’s got new wrestling gear (it’s blue).  He’s in action… next.

 

Commercial break.

 

Evan Bourne is in the ring and here comes Paul Burchill with Katie Lea.

 

Paul Burchill (w/ Katie Lea) vs. Evan Bourne

We once again get the Scarlet Witch reference from Striker regarding Katie Lea.  She really does look like her.  The bell rings and here we go.  Lock up and Burchill knocks him down.  Drop toe hold from Bourne and a low dropkick.  Bourne to the corner but he fights out and hits a dropkick.  Cover for two.  Bourne goes up top and gets distracted a little by Katie Lea and Burchill slams him off the top.  Whips Bourne to the corner but gets the boot.  Bourne goes for an ariel move but Burchill tilt-a-whirls him into a backbreaker.  Chinlock.  Short armed clothesline from Burchill.  Back to a chinlock with a knee to the back.  Knees to the midsection and a butterfly suplex.  He really tossed him.  He gets the knees to the chest on Bourne in the corner.  Suplcx.  Cover for two.  Kick to the back.  Back to the submission hold.  Bourne fights out with some punches and kicks but gets caught in a “trap leg overhead suplex” (that from Striker).  Cover for two.  Another modified chinlock with a half body scissor.  Bourne gets to the ropes but Burchill pulls him off.  Striker awesomely explains that you have to have your hole hand on the rope and that’s why the pullback move is legal.  Bourne slips underneath the chinlock and gets some offense.  He runs to the ropes and gets caught in a back body drop.  Another chinlock.  Bourne fights again and gets clubbed down.  Throw to the ropes and Bourne kicks him in the back body drop attempt.  More kicks and they both go down.  Ref starts the 10 count.  Burchill up first goes and goes for a short arm clothesline but Bourne ducks and hits the dropkick.  Burchill to the outside.  Burchill back in and a rollup for two.  Spinning kick from Bourne.  Clothesline and cover for two.  Bourne goes for a clothesline again but is caught by Burchill and slammed down hard. Cover and Bourne gets his foot on the rope.  Burchill goes for the knees again but misses and gets rolled up for two.  Bourne goes for the shooting star but is caught by Burchill.  He has him up for the electric chair but Bourne reverses and flips him over.  Goes to the top and HITS the Shooting Star Press.

 

Winner: Evan Bourne.  Good match.  Burchill looked the best I’ve seen him since coming over to ECW.  He must be amped to be in England.  These two work well together.

 

Vladimir Kozlov has a video package.  He’s coming for a championship.  Everyone must fall.  Apparently he’s coming up next.

 

Commercial.

 

As promised, Kozlov heads to the ring.

 

Vladimir Kozlov vs. Frankie Sloan

Frankie Sloan is a local wrestler.  He looks familiar to me.  Kozlov gets on the mic and speaks GibRussian.  Then in English “Russian athletes are superior”.  Bell finally rings and a lock up.  Armdrag from Kozlov.  Sloan gets tossed again.  Uppercut from Sloan but gets a chop and head butts to the chest.  He does his head spear thing.  Finishing move and it’s done.

 

Winner: Vladimir Kozlov.  I hate that he wastes time on ECW.  Worthless match.

 

Our champ Jack Swagger is in a suit and he’s headed to the contract signing.

 

Commercial break.

 

Tiffany is in the ring and is ready for a contract signing.  She welcomes us to the training.  She introduces Christian first and here he comes.  He give a shout out to his peeps.  She then introduces “The All-American American” Jack Swagger and here he comes.

 

They stare each other down until they finally take a seat.  Tiffany says Christian can go first.  He signs.  Before signing, Swagger takes the mic.  He’s surprised Christian has nothing to say.  No witty remarks.  No making fun of his lisp.  He signs.  Swagger tells Christian he can’t expect to pick up where he left off 3 years ago.  A new class of WWE Superstars has emerged and at the top is the “All-American American” Jack Swagger.  He gives credit to Christian for winning the Elimination chase.  But he doesn’t have a chance to beat Swagger.  He’s stronger, faster and bigger than Christian.  Christian’s little brain is telling him he can’t beat Swagger.  That’s why he has nothing to say.  Christian stares him down some more.  Swagger gets up and Christian grabs the mic.  That’s not the truth.  He could make fun of him for wearing the same suit since high school.  His stupid haircut, etc.  But that does nothing for Christian.  It doesn’t mean anything.  Swagger can run his mouth.  Christian will focus on Backlash and making Swagger the biggest, strongest and fastest EX-champion in ECW history.

 

Swagger is laughing and holds up his belt for Christian to see.  He throws it at Christian and then hits a big clothesline.  He delivers the gutwrench powerbomb THROUGH the contract table.  Awesome.  Swagger poses and smiles before grabbing his belt and holding it up for the crowd.  I hope this feud gets to go on for a while.

 

End of Show.  A pretty good one.  One great match and a fairly entertaining contract signing.  See you all next week.

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