American Idol – Episode 8-32 Review

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Are you ready for the disco inferno that will claim the dreams of two singers? Will Matt Giraud prove that the judges were right in saving him? Not like he’s really going back to the piano bar. Did Lil Rounds get tossed a flaming log by Simon? Both of the losers will just get to spend more time at the Idol mansion practicing their singing and dancing for the big tour. Still there will be only five kids who will feel happy when they hear disco music.

The show opens with the mirrored ball and the fears of the singers. How will they eliminate the duo? Ryan keeps pimping the “double elimination.” How about they have a lumberjack match? Or would Simon get too excited with all the men with leather straps eager to lash away? Ryan reminds us that it’s Earth Day. Would that be Rare Earth or Earth Wind and Fire? David Archuleta is coming back as alumni.

We get to see the kids learning disco moves from Paula Abdul for the group song. While the kids strut, they play the song Paula sang on Randy Jackson’s album. Paula makes the kids break a sweat. Paula look so tempting when she’s working those kids hard. Not quite as hot as Padma eating a Hardee’s hamburger. But not her usual crazy self that we see sucking from the Coke cup.

The Top 7 are dressed up in vintage disco wear. They’re lipsyncing to The Jacksons’ “Shake Your Body (Down to the Ground)” from 1978. Why Jacko again? Will the Gloved Defendant be on the finale to promote his US tour? The kids thank Paula for teaching them to dance and mouth their words. The kids were wearing wireless microphones to fool the old ladies at home to thinking it was real.

Appears that the big disco highlight will be KC and the Sunshine Band and Thelma Houston. Did you know that Harry Wayne “K.C.” Casey lives in Chapel Hill, North Carolina? I think that’s true. Wonder if Ryan will point out that K.C. and Anoop Desai hail from the same town as the NCAA Men’s Basketball Champion UNC Tarheels? 

Here comes the Ford commercial with the seven remainders. Lykke Li’s “I’m Good, I’m Gone” is the song. The guys are failing at various jobs while cruising around in the cars.

Lil Rounds is the first asked to stand up. She’s reminded of her panning. Lil is asked to walk to the far side of the stage. But she doesn’t plop down on a barstool of death. Ryan mentions she has three kids and other things. And then without any more build up, Ryan declares her road to the title is over. Wow. They aren’t teasing us tonight with the bloodbath. Lil gets to do “I’m Every Woman” one last time. She’s better than last night. Too bad the judges burned their save a show too soon. Even Simon stands up and applauds at the end. Randy reminds her that it’s just the beginning. Simon will miss her family screaming at him each week. Paula is happy she went out on top.

Six people are left to ponder who will go next. Time magazine declared Zac Efron is a movie star. Thanks for that important news in the middle of our economic crisis. How about Time magazine declare peace in the middle east? Give us news we can use.

Ryan introduces the disco medley with Freda Payne unloading “Band of Gold.” She sounds winded as she keeps crossing the huge stage. Couldn’t they get her a Segway scooter like Paul Blart? Next is Thelma Houston. She’s holding up better than Whitney. KC enters with four rather busty women as his background strutters. KC looks like James Gandolfini without a gun. He does “Get Down Tonight.” He’s hefty enough to not be able to get down and give anyone 50.

Ryan confuses us by saying there are still two more seats in the bottom three. Really? Seems to be one person already cut. Kris Allen is brought up. Even though he did a post-disco era song, he still gets to be safe. Adam Lambert is next up. Will there be anyone fearing a bad result for the heartthrob? He gets to sit back down. He’s safe. Danny Gokey is next. Ryan says the bloggers thought Simon was too tough in his rant about Danny’s dancing. Was that me? Simon is grumpy when asked to defend himself. Danny is safe. Big non-shocker. But folks on the couch rejoice. Anoop has to stand up. He gets to make the complete walk to the barstool of destruction. No quick kill this time around.

Allison Iraheta and Matt Giraud stand next to each other. Which will be leaving the warm sofa? Did the save help? America decided to give him a chance to live another theme week. It’s Allison that makes the walk of shame. Anoop and Allison don’t look too nervous while in the executioner’s waiting room. Of course their fate will have to wait until David Archuleta sings “Touch My Hand.” Is that considered a bad touch?

Archuleta comes out looking like a muppet creation with a thin tie that looks stolen from an episode of Square Pegs. It’s a really lame song that the Jonas Brothers must have turned down. This music doesn’t work with his voice. I’m not touching his hand until he pulls my finger. Ryan has David go over to comfort Anoop and Allison. 

Over 45 million people called and Anoop got the least number of calls on his 1-866. Growing the beard didn’t help his clean cut college boy image. He redoes his least number loved number. He also sounds so much better than last night. He’s having fun on the stage. At least he still has a grad program at UNC as his backup plan. Anoop is disappointed, but he’s going back to Chapel Hill. Maybe KC can give him a ride home. They combine the montage of Anoop and Lil for the farewell. Guess the producers only wanted to pay once for the Carrie Underwood’s Crue “kiss off” song. We’re reminded that Anoop was the Lucky 13th contestant. Simon does a barely complimentary clap before looking completely bored. He must have a hot date with Susan Boyle.

Lil Rounds and Anoop Desai are the victims of the Disco Inferno.

Joe Corey is the writer and director of "Danger! Health Films" currently streaming on Night Flight and Amazon Prime. He's the author of "The Seven Secrets of Great Walmart People Greeters." This is the last how to get a job book you'll ever need. He was Associate Producer of the documentary "Moving Midway." He's worked as local crew on several reality shows including Candid Camera, American's Most Wanted, Extreme Makeover Home Edition and ESPN's Gaters. He's been featured on The Today Show and CBS's 48 Hours. Dom DeLuise once said, "Joe, you look like an axe murderer." He was in charge of research and programming at the Moving Image Archive.