Saint Francis – DVD Review

Film, Reviews

saintfrancis

Okay, class, get out your #2 pencil and prepare for your quiz. The subject, for those of you who have been sleeping through this course (Im looking at you, Ron!), is on Redemption movies. By this point in the semester you should all be well versed in this genre, so I expect good grades from you all.

Specifically this quiz will cover the movie Saint Francis. You have ten minutes to complete six multiple choice questions. The essay portion is optional for those who want some extra credit.

Question 1: The stars of Saint Francis:
a. Are attractive women
b. Frequently take their clothes off
c. Have shamed their families and themselves
d. Deep down hate themselves and their gender
e. All of the above

Question 2: The plot of Saint Francis
a. Follows Francis Bernard, a liar and a junky who is trapped on an operating table about to have surgery
b. Follows Francis Bernard, a liar and a junky who cant tell reality apart from fantasy
c. Follows Francis Bernard, a liar and a junky who has visions of the future where her sister commits a terrible crime
d. Follows Francis Bernard, a liar and a junky who believes that the devil has come to purge the world of sinners and thinks thats a good idea
e. All of the above

Question 3: I enjoyed seeing the actresses get naked:
a. But thought that they werent tortured enough
b. But thought that they were tortured too much
c. And thought that they were tortured for an appropriate amount of time

Question 4: If I was the Devil:
a. I would shake the hand of Redemptions creator for doing such a good job in distributing my message
b. I would be the frontman of the most kickass rock group this side of KISS
c. I would laugh at the people involved in Redemption for being pathetic neophytes to a leader who doesnt care a whit about them
d. I would be imaginary since the Devil doesnt exist
e. Id get some ice cream

Question 5: The Redemption view of women is:
a. As non-human animals subject to the will of men
b. As playthings
c. As wicked creatures who must be punished
d. All of the above

Question 6: Redemption movies:
a. Are proof that there is no God
b. Are run by despicable people who should be in therapy
c. Would be damning evidence against our worth should the human race ever be tried by aliens like Q did in Star Trek: The Next Generation
d. Drive me to drink
e. All of the above
f. All of the above except “a” because that answer would please the Redemption people too much


Saint Francis was presented in Widescreen 16:9 aspect ratio with stereo for the sound. Neither the video nor the sound are top-of-the-line quality, but not so that there were any problems in watching the movie, unfortunately.

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Extended erotic scene with Stormy and Stephanie Swift (6:54)

Extended scene: Dita Von Teese watches a porn shoot with Kaylani Lei and Julia Ann (2:17)

Extended scene: “Shower Abduction” (5:32)

Stills gallery

Two Saint Francis trailers (1:26); (1:50)

Redemption trailersRequiem for a Vampire; Satanic Sluts; Satanic Sluts II; The Marquis de Sade’s Justine; Nature Morte


Answer Key: E, E, B, C, D, F. Not recommended.

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Redemption presents Saint Francis. Directed by Ezra Gould. Starring Dita Von Teese, Zalman King, Stephanie Swift, Sydnee Steel, Porcelain Twinz. Written by Ezra Gould and Greg Hittleman. Running time: 72 minutes. Rated NR. Released on DVD: March 31, 2009. Available at Amazon.