The SmarK 24/7 Rant for Maple Leaf Gardens – August 18 1985
– Taped from Toronto, ON
– Your hosts are Gorilla Monsoon & Jesse Ventura
Adrian Adonis v. Lanny Poffo
Adonis really went through a scary weight gain because he was still in svelte leather-clad tough guy mode at this point, and by the same time in 1986 his weight was totally out of control. Even at this point, though, Gorilla is making reference to his ballooning weight. Poffo takes him down with a headlock and tries for the arm, but Adonis takes him down with a hammerlock. Poffo backdrops him out of the corner and locks in an armbar, however. You know the announcers are bored because they start talking about the referee and the differing speeds of counts. Adonis uses a cheapshot to take over and gets a powerslam for two. He tosses Poffo and Jesse advices Adrian to "throw in a pose" while he’s waiting around. Back in, Adonis with the abdominal stretch, and right on cue Gorilla complains about the execution. Lanny reverses, so Adonis throws him out of the ring, and they slug it out back in the ring. Poffo comes back and fires away in the corner, then whips him into the other corner for an upside down bump. Poffo puts his head down and eats a DDT for the pin at 6:56, though. Interestingly, Jake Roberts isn’t there yet, so the announcers have no name for the move. **
Dino Bravo v. Richard Charland
Charland fights for a headlock, but Bravo backdrops him and follows with a slam. Bravo with a crossbody for two and it’s a stalemate. Charland goes low and gets two. Necksnap gets two. Bravo makes the comeback and slugs him down, then follows with an atomic drop that flows into a backdrop suplex for the pin at 3:40. *1/2
Randy Savage v. Bob Marcus
Savage, still pre-Elizabeth and the hottest thing in wrestling, gets an unbelievable babyface reaction from the crowd because he was such an awesome presence. They even boo the poor hometown jobber! Savage takes him down with a pair of armdrags and lays the badmouth on him, but Marcus gets a rollup for two. And Savage immediately bails and threatens people at ringside to keep people from cheering him. Back in, Marcus gets a hiptoss and armdrag, but Savage levels him with a back elbow and tosses him. Savage follows with the double axehandle to the floor and then drops the knee back in the ring. He slugs away and adds a rare powerslam, which sets up the flying elbow to put this scrub out of his misery at 3:35. GIANT pop for that. Was there any doubt that this guy was going to be a gigantic star? *
King Kong Bundy v. Jose Luis Rivera
I don’t see this lasting long. Bundy pounds away to start, but Rivera hits him with a dropkick. Bundy swats him down and chokes him out, then tosses him out to the ramp. The crowd chants "Porky", so Bundy takes it out on Rivera and drops an elbow on him. He picks him up at two and gives him an Avalanche and another elbow for the pin at 2:45. 1/2*
Cousin Junior v. Tito Senza
Junior slugs away in the corner, but Senza grabs a headlock and does some kicking and punching. Junior fights back with mule kicks and a skullcracker, and finishes with a mule kick at 3:38. Junior, like the entire Hillbilly clan, was pretty terrible. DUD
Big John Studd v. Andre the Giant
Studd goes for a full nelson right away and gets nowhere. Studd tries a headlock instead, so Andre chops him down and then gives him the headbutt to the back to send him to the floor. Back in, Andre chokes him out and pounds him in the corner. Studd charges out and walks into a bearhug, and then Andre chokes him out and sends him to the ramp. Back in, Studd manages to club him down and works on the arm, and that goes on forever. Andre fights up, but Studd pounds him again and goes back to the armbar. Andre fights up with a headbutt, but Studd beats him down again and gets a pair of scissors from Bobby. Andre bites Studd’s arm to stop any haircutting and goes nuts, whomping on both Studd and Heenan and slamming Studd to make a quick $15,000. He’s about to cut Studd’s hair when King Kong Bundy waddles in for the DQ at 13:11 and they absolutely destroy Andre. Terrible match but this angle drew insane amounts of money. 1/2*
Ted Grizzly v. Rick McGraw
McGraw takes him down with an armbar to start, but Grizzly pounds away with the clubbing forearms and drops an elbow for two. McGraw comes back with a pair of nice dropkicks and finishes this goof with an airplane spin at 2:00.
The Killer Bees v. The Hart Foundation
Big brawl to start and Brunzell starts with Bret, putting him down with an elbow. The dropkick misses, however, and Bret drops an elbow before bringing Anvil in. We get some good cheating from the Harts as Bret slams Brunzell on the ramp. Double-team elbow follows and Bret drops another one for two. Inverted atomic drop and Bret hits the chinlock, keeping him in the corner long enough to bring Anvil in again to beat him down. Anvil with the facelock and Bret actually grabs Brunzell’s leg and pulls him back to the heel corner, before tagging in and cutting off the ring with his own facelock. False tag allows the Harts to continue the beatdown in their corner, and they hit a Demolition elbow. So I guess they did invent that one. Anvil gets cocky and throws shoulderblocks at Brunzell, but misses one and runs into the corner. Hot tag Blair and he runs the Harts into each other and clotheslines Anvil for two. Sleeper for Anvil , but Brunzell gets goaded into coming in, allowing Bret to clock Blair with an international object for the pin at 9:10. Usual good stuff from these guys, although it was fairly abbreviated compared to their usual 20 minute match. ***1/4
Junkyard Dog v. Terry Funk
Funk attacks and chokes Dog out with his own chain right away, but Dog slams Funk over the top and to the floor! Holy shit, how is Funk still walking today? Back in the ring and Funk keeps bumping all over, taking a Flair Flip out of the ring, and Dog headbutts him on the apron. Back in, Dog headbutts him and Funk runs around the ring like a pinball and out to the floor again. Back in, and Dog sends him bumping to the floor again. Back in, Dog with a bearhug and Funk goes low to finally stop the momentum. Funk drops an elbow and chokes him out on the mat, then tosses Dog and beats on him from the apron. Back in, Funk is stupid enough to try a headbutt and knocks himself silly, allowing Dog to hit one of his own. And now it’s Dog’s turn to choke, but Funk comes back with a sleeper. Dog fights up and elbows out, then slams Funk out of the corner. A headbutt to the ass sends Funk into the bottom turnbuckle in a cute spot, and Funk bumps out of the ring and THROUGH a table at ringside. And not the usual way — he fell through the center and put a hole in it! Back in, it’s declared a double countout at 9:26. Crazy bumps from Funk here, as usual for the time. *** Replay of the table bump shows that it shouldn’t have broken that way, so I’m wondering if it was rigged.
Ricky Steamboat v. Magnificent Muraco
Geez, no wonder the show was a sellout with an upper card like this. Dragon charges in and fires away with a dropkick to start, then chops him down and gets more of them on the ropes. Muraco bails to the ramp and Steamboat follows him out with a chop off the top rope and tosses Muraco back in. And he chokes Muraco out with the belt in a bit of revenge, then whips him with it. Steamboat sends him into the corner and superkicks him, then puts him down with an enzuigiri and follows with a chop, which drives the crowd crazy. Neckbreaker and another chop to the throat follows, and Ricky goes to a neck vice. Atomic drop puts Muraco to the apron and they brawl on the floor, with Steamboat chopping the hell out of him against the railing. The ref finally gets Steamboat to back off, but Ricky leapfrogs the ref and puts Muraco down with another chop. Ooooh, nice spot! Steamboat suplexes Muraco back in and hits another chop for two. Muraco gets a cheapshot on the kickout and takes over with a headbutt to the groin, and the Asiatic spike off the middle rope. Muraco pounds away and runs Steamboat into the turnbuckle, then tosses him and pounds away from the apron. Steamboat eats post and Muraco slingshots him back into the ring, as Ricky does his usual awesome "This is the worst pain I’ve ever endured!" selling. Muraco sets up for the tombstone, but Steamboat kicks out of it, so Muraco whips him into the corner and out to the floor. Back in, Steamboat tries a slam and Muraco falls on top for two. Steamboat fights back with sidekicks and drops a chop on him to come back and Muraco has somehow cut himself. Steamboat goes after the cut like a crazy person, then runs him into Fuji and goes up. Fuji tosses salt in his eyes for the DQ at 13:18, however, ending a great match prematurely. ***1/2
