American Idol – Episode 8-33 Review

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We’re down to five contestants which means tonight we’ll hear more from Ryan. Tonight’s theme is songs made famous by the Rat Pack. Why does Simon whines about having these kids be contemporary when they keep picking theme nights that are pure Lawrence Welk nostalgia? Next week they can have Gregorian chants for material. How deep will they delve into the song book of Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin and Sammy Davis Jr.? What if a contestant figured out a tune sung by either Peter Lawford or Joey Bishop.

Ryan has the five contestants lined up like they’re cryogenically frozen. Adam Lambert appears to have gone with the white suit. There’s two phone numbers for each contestant tonight. The judges are introduced. Kara looks like she took something from the prom dress rack. What is the red thing growing on Paula Abdul’s chest? Is it a prop from Fringe? Ryan declares the theme as “Music of the Rat Pack era.” Does he understand what it means? The proper Rat Pack era lasted only a few years from 1959 until 1962. It ended when JFK stayed at Bing Crosby’s place instead Sintara’s Palm Springs compound. Frank cut off Peter Lawford at that point. It was a glorious time if you had a ticket to their stage shows. I recommend any of the Villa Venice recordings to get a sense of their onstage fun.

They have a mystery mentor for the people. The contestants aren’t sure who it’ll be since Frank, Dino and Sammy are dead. They could have Michael Buble or Harry Connick Jr. Those two do like to swing it Vegas style. Turns out it’s Jamie Foxx. Why? Ray Charles wasn’t part of the Rat Pack. Don Cheadle played Sammy. He’s be a better fit. We get a plug for his musical awards and chart rankings. Guess he’s bigger than Eddie Murphy’s musical career. But Foxx will never touch the greatness of “Party All the Time.”

Kris Allen is first out of the gate with “The Way You Look Tonight.” The song is from the ‘30s. Sinatra wasn’t quite old enough to be in a saloon when the song first was a hit. Jamie swears he’ll do a project with Kris. He’s got the suit and tie. He’s carrying the microphone stand around like Steven Tyler of Aerosmith. The slow arrangement kicks up. I sense Kris hit a bad transition note. He’s not seductive tonight with this song. It’s cute, but forgettable. Randy knows Kris is in it to win it. He swears it’s his best performance yet. Kara thinks he set the standard high tonight. She calls him a dark horse. Paula thinks he’s gone from boy next door to sophisticated gentleman. He’s near impeccable. Simon isn’t quite as enthusiastic. He felt it was “a little bit wet.” He compares it to taking a well trained spaniel for a walk. It’s safe. Ryan and Simon debate the “wet” line. Ryan and Kris are dressed identically.

There’s a lot of time to kill with only 5 songs tonight. How many commercials will we get for Terminator Salvation? I’d so enjoy that film if the exit music is Christian Bale’s cussfest at the director of photography. Has anyone gone to the American Idol Experience at DisneyWorld? I prefer the lapdance from Cinderella Girlfriend Experience.

Allison Iraheta gets well wished for her 17th birthday that was yesterday. Jaime gushes about how innocent she is on her version of “Someone to Watch Over Me.” He tells her to think about how much love she gets from her family. She plays the song straight with her slightly rocker girl voice. It’s kinda like Ann Wilson of Heart doing it. She hits a semi-Mariah run for the last few notes. Another nice performance, but it no tears are brought out. Randy starts it off again. He thinks she would trip up. He compares her to Pink, but with a thousand more octaves. It’s the bomb. Kara ain’t nervous for her anymore. She’s not a one trick pony. She thinks Allison is bound for the finals. Paula has waited for her to deliver a ballad. She likes the alluring and tender moments. Simon asks Allison if she can win the competition at his stage. He doesn’t feel that belief in her. Review the song, old man. He has a horrible feeling she will be in trouble tonight. Is she not as hot as that little girl in a tutu. After Ryan asks about the performance, Simon says it was mechanical. Kara says Simon’s so wrong. Randy also disagrees. Simon must be still thinking about old maids, pre-teen boys and little girls in tutus from Britain’s Got Talent. He’s so bored with the USA.

Two songs in 30 minutes. This almost like seeing Emerson Lake and Palmer in concert.  If I was on the show, I’d bust out Frank Sinatra’s version of “Until the Real Thing Comes Along” so I can croon, “I’d even punch out Mr. T for you.” Maybe I’d punch out the corpse of Pat Morita for you. He was the star of Mr. T and Tina. When is that coming out on DVD?

Matt Giruad wants to do “My Funny Valentine.” Jamie has no suggestions at first, but then he drags Matt back to change the key to the song. Jamie swears if he sticks with his advice, Matt will hit number one. We won’t know since only the bottom three are revealed. Matt starts off with just the piano – which he doesn’t play. The notes don’t flow as nicely as anticipated. The orchestra comes in rather sedate. This isn’t nearly as cool as Nico’s version. There’s got to be a little stalker  in your voice when you sing this song. Matt should have played the piano tonight. Randy thinks he was a little bit pitchy. The runs didn’t all land right. He gives him a 6 out of 10. Kara thinks he wasn’t emotionally committed to song. Paula liked the key being lowered. Simon disagrees with Randy. That’s a stunner. “It was the only believable, authentic song tonight.” He thought he was brilliant. Did Simon drink out of Paula’s cup during the break? Has he marked Allison for death?

Jonas premieres on the Disney channel. Aren’t the Jonas Brothers big enough to quit being a sitcom band? Or did their film concert not making him Hannah Montana box office.

Danny Gokey gets his personal space invaded by Jamie Foxx while doing “Come Rain Come Shine.” He swears this is what Michael Mann does. Is that before or after Mann gets his afternoon treats? Danny has the piece start off with a trombone. It’s a low slung jazz blues. It goes perfect with his voice. The pace gets into a gospel groove. He’s nails a tiger note towards the end. He pounces for the finale. Now this is how you attack this music. Randy swears Danny can put together an album like this. Kara enjoys his Rat Pack swagger. She thinks the finale was the most creative he’s been with a melody. Paula calls it “stellar.” Simon admits he had the swagger and confidence. I’m not sure what Simon said since they can’t mix the audience down. Someone needs to be faster on the knobs. 

Adam Lambert and Jamie Foxx out duel each other for looking theatrical. He has only praise of Lambert’s upcoming version of “Feeling Good.” Adam is in the white suit, bathed in blue light and standing on the glowing red staircase. It’s got smoothness and sash. He’s got the band rocking out in a Broadway beat. He’s holding a note like a winning lottery ticket for the finale. The man knows how to bring the show to the stage. Randy thinks it’s a little too theatrical, but he’s in a zone. Kara’s mouth drops open. Thinks he’s confusing, shocking and sleazy in a good way. Paula says he makes him feel better than good. He’s a singing Michael Phelps. Simon knows he wants to win. He was worth being the last performer on the stage.

The montage of the night’s performance has Kris hitting that semi-sour note. Also not a good segment from Allison’s song. Adam and Danny get their big note moments captured. 

It’s simple to pick the bottom three tonight. 

HEADLINERS: Adam Lambert & Danny Gokey

CRAPS TABLE: Kris Allen, Allison Iraheta & Matt Giraud

Who will be checking into the Big Casino tomorrow night? Matt Giraud appears to have finally had his swansong. No third chance save for him. Although Simon wants Allison gone. Will it be a sausage party at the Final Four?

Joe Corey is the writer and director of "Danger! Health Films" currently streaming on Night Flight and Amazon Prime. He's the author of "The Seven Secrets of Great Walmart People Greeters." This is the last how to get a job book you'll ever need. He was Associate Producer of the documentary "Moving Midway." He's worked as local crew on several reality shows including Candid Camera, American's Most Wanted, Extreme Makeover Home Edition and ESPN's Gaters. He's been featured on The Today Show and CBS's 48 Hours. Dom DeLuise once said, "Joe, you look like an axe murderer." He was in charge of research and programming at the Moving Image Archive.