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We open up tonight’s RAW with a recap of the latest Orton/McMahon saga.
TIME…TO…GET…RAW!
We’re sold-out at BUFFALO, NEW YORK! And we’re opening with our scheduled main event!
Shane McMahon v. Randy Orton
SHANE IS ON FIRE! He literally destroys Orton before the bell! The fight goes to the fans and Orton takes the fight back to Shane. Shane hits with the rights and they go back to ringside. Shane off the barricade and he nails a clothesline! The announce table goes to shreds and he lays Orton’s body on it. He takes to the top and the rest of Legacy come out and they save Orton. Orton joins the fray and it is three-on-one until MVP comes out to save the day. It quickly becomes 3-on-1 on MVP. He gets tossed out and they go back to Shane. HERE COMES THE ANIMAL! Down goes Legacy and Orton takes the fight for another day.
Vickie Guerrero is PISSED OFF! Later on tonight, Shane will still take on Randy Orton. Batista gets DiBiase and MVP gets Rhodes and the winners get to get involved in the main event LEGALLY!
Result: Match Never Officially Started
Commercials.
This must be a dream, RAW hasn’t had any “promo segments” yet. Matt Hardy with his broken hand makes his way to the ring for his match. Kingston makes his way to the ring and before the match, Matt gripes again, this time filing a formal complaint with the proper authorities. He is also wrestling UNDER PROTEST!
Matt Hardy v. Kofi Kingston
The bell sounds and they lock up. They trade off wrist locks and Matt gets to the ropes. Kingston goes down and back up and he targets the cast, to which Matt sells beautifully. Kingston chases Matt back to the ring and he levels him with a clothesline. Schoolboy to Matt gets two. Matt gets posted on the turnbuckle. Flying crossbody misses and Matt takes control over Kingston. Matt picks Kingston up and drops him on the ropes for a two count. Suplex into a cover gets another two count. Stalling brainbuster is countered into a neckbreaker for Kingston. Both men are down. Both men get up and Kingston takes it to Matt. Double leg drop connects and Matt kicks out! Matt sends Kingston to the ropes and Kingston ducks a cast shot. Trouble in Paradise connects and it’s over!
Winner: Kofi Kingston
Grade: C+
The King says that the win doesn’t count. Post match, Matt gets his comeuppance by KO’ing Kingston with the cast! Huge “You Suck” chants from the crowd directed at Matt.
Commercials.
Santino talks with Kelly Kelly and he discusses that Santina has the swine flu this week and talks about Vickie. Chavo comes over and he chases her out. Chavo is pissed off and he lets Santino know about it. Santino apologizes and he makes pig noises at Chavo. Funny.
We recap John Cena going through a spotlight eight days ago, followed by him screwing Big Show out of a #1 Contender’s match. Vickie Guerrero says that Cena is out for another two weeks. Vickie makes the match for Judgment Day and Show walks off.
The Bella Twins hit on MVP before he heads out for his match.
Commercials.
We’re back and Cody Rhodes is in the ring waiting for MVP. William Regal is doing color commentary, pissed off at some of the new talents at RAW.
Cody Rhodes v. Montel Vontanious Porter
The bell sounds and MVP plays the aggressor. Regal is complaining about MVP going after Orton while people like him get shut out of the title picture. MVP gets a backslide for two. Rhodes hits MVP in the face and MVP knocks him on the ass. Regal puts over MVP’s skills and frowns on the Miz. Rhodes takes control with a leg lock. MVP gets out of the holds and he attempts a comeback. Rhodes ducks a clothesline, but he can’t miss the monkey flip. Facebuster connects and he goes BALLIN’! Rhodes roll out of the ring and Regal SWEEPS MVP’s leg! MVP is down on the outside and he can’t make it back in time!
Winner: Cody Rhodes via Countout
Grade: C
Commercials.
WWE Slam of the Week: Cryme Tyme, Layla, & Eve bust the moves…and the ladies bust each other.
We’re back and Jerry Lawler is in the ring. We’re going to have a “sing off” tonight. OH GOD… We have Jillian Hall, who is hyper. She is competing with Festus. GOD… Jillian sings something about a ho…at least that is what I thought I heard. Now he goes to Festus, who is looking strange. King has the bell rings and Festus sings about Tomorrow. Hell, I’d go with Jillian Hall over Festus, but we all know that Festus wins this in a landslide. Jillian wants another chance and the Miz makes his way to the ring while Festus is in a comatose state. The Mis takes and tosses Festus out of the ring and he speaks. He talks down on Cena again, this time saying that he is afraid of the Miz. Miz mocks Hustle, Loyalty, & Respect and the Miz wants to challenge Cena again tonight.
This time, Cena shows up on the TitanTron and it appears he is heading to the ring.
Commercials.
We’re back and the Miz is still talking. Yes, Miz…REALLY. He mocks mailing Cena’s next movie script to the Rock. He now calls Cena nothing but Hype and calls himself the most talented superstar on RAW. With Cena not coming out, he declares himself the winner. Lillian won’t call him the winner, so he tries to do so…and John Cena walks slowly on the stage. He advances to the ring and he stares at the Miz. This makes the Big Show come out to the stage. The Miz leaves the ring and Cena prepares for his burial. Show kicks Cena in the gut and he follows with a fist. He has his way with Cena and Cena still tries to muster the energy to get back up after each shot. He continues to beat Cena down and Cena won’t stay down. He locks on the Cobra Clutch and Cena goes limp.
The Cutting Edge goes to WWE Superstars this week!
Commercials.
We’re back and we relive the Big Show beatdown on Cena in fast forward. OK…RAW has gotten better with Jared “The Subway Guy”. He is the special guest ring announcer for the following match.
Mickie James v. Maryse
The bell sounds and Maryse bends over. Mickie goes all out over Maryse and her face meets the canvas. Thez Press connects and Maryse takes a powder. Baseball slide misses, but the back crashing into the retaining wall doesn’t. Maryse covers for two. She locks on a headlock and Mickie is in trouble for the moment. The divas trade off punches and Mickie hits a dropkick for one. Mickie gets sent to the corner. She tries the high risk, but Maryse throws her off. They get another exchange and Mickie James hits the Screaming (Orgasmic) DDT for the win.
Winner: Mickie James
Grade: C+
Batista makes his final preparations as his match is NEXT!
Commercials.
Ted DiBiase is in the ring as we return to RAW.
Ted DiBiase v. Batista
The bell sounds and they jockey for position. Batista goes to the corner and DiBiase gets some distance on Batista. Back in the ring and Batista gets beat on for a moment. Scoop slam on DiBiase and the Animal is in control. He scoops DiBiase back up, but he floats over. Batista Bomb attempt and DiBiase gets out of it. DiBiase plays the match smartly, beating down on Batista before getting a two count. DiBiase telegraphs Batista and he hits a stalling neckbreaker for another two count. Chinlock applied, but Batista rams DiBiase in the corner. Pillar to post we go and Batista thrusts his head against DiBiase. Another corner-to-corner spot and Batista gets drop toe hold to the turnbuckle. Fist drop gets countered to a boot to the jaw on DiBiase. DiBiase slaps Batista and he goes OFF ON DIBIASE! He ignores the referee’s count and he gets disqualified! Batista is pissed off at the referee and it is three-on-one in Legacy’s favor.
Winner: Ted DiBiase via DQ
Grade: C+
Batista watches the replay and it settles in.
Commercials.
We’re back and Chavo will take care of Santino another time. He wants Vickie to impose sanctions on MVP and Batista if they were to interfere in the 3-on-1 Handicap match. She seemingly agrees and if MVP interferes, he loses the US Title and if Batista interferes, he loses the #1 Contendership.
THE Brian Kendrick v. Carlito
The match starts and Kendrick plays the heel part well. He takes control in the opening minute of the match. Pillar to post we go and Carlito comes back. Kendrick gets slammed on the mat for two. Springboard clothesline gets dereailed with a dropkick for two. THE Kendrick gets countered with the Backstabber and that was quick.
Winner: Carlito
Grade: D-
SmackDown Rebound: Jeff Hardy becomes #1 Contender to the World Title.
Shane McMahon’s burial is NEXT!
Commercials.
We’re back and we hype MVP and Sherri Sheppard. He will be on the View tomorrow!
We recap the events from earlier tonight with MVP and Batista losing their respective matches. Batista apologizes many times to Shane, but he says that he has it under control.
The Legacy makes their way out to the ring as we take our final commercial break!
Commercials.
ECW is on at 10PM EST/9PM CST tomorrow night and features Christian v. Mark Henry!
Shane McMahon v. The Legacy (Orton, Rhodes, & DiBiase)
3-on-1 Handicap Match
This is tag team rules. The bell sounds and Shane takes it to Cody Rhodes. Cody gets some offense, but Shane clotheslines him. Shane evades the heel corner and Cody is reeling. Tag to Orton and he tees off on Shane. Shane telegraphs Orton and Orton quickly tags out to DiBiase. DiBiase waits for Shane, who chases Orton around the ring. Shane continues to keep DiBiase in the ring. DiBiase gets close to Rhodes, but Shane takes the Legacy off the apron. Neckbreaker on DiBiade and he positions DiBiase in the center of the ring. He DROPS THE ELBOW! He covers and Rhodes breaks the count. Shane decks Cody out of the ring. Ted does the same to Shane. Shane bashes their heads on the steel steps and he calls for a chair. Orton comes from behind and he decks Shane. He tosses DiBiase in the ring and Orton gets tagged. He goes Vintage Orton on Shane, stomping on anything that is a body part. Tag to Rhodes and he continues the assault on a prone Shane McMahon. Orton goes to the top and he goes for the Moonsault, but misses! Shane can’t capitalize and Rhodes is able to tag out to DiBiase. Pillar to post we go and Shane FIGHTS BACK WITH A CLOTHESLINE! DiBiase tags out to Randy and the two go at it! Shane knocks Orton on the outside! DiBiase and Rhodes follow suit. Orton tries to get in the ring and he gets dropped on his face. It’s the opening of RAW again and Orton is on the announce table! Shane gets back in the ring and Shane goes to the top! SUPER FLYING ELBOW! ORTON MOVES! Shane has to be dead! DiBiase and Rhodes set Shane up against the steel steps. Orton has a chair and the leg is on the step. HE PILMANIZES THE LEG! They get the leg back on the steps and Orton drops the chair. He picks up the steel steps and HE DROPS THE STEPS ON RANDY’S FOOT! So, what’s the call? I think it should be a DQ, but since there is no official result.
No Contest
Grade: B (It was a good match as Shane held his own against Legacy.)
Batista makes his way out and the Legacy run away like the cowards they are. While Shane is being tended to by the medics, Orton says that Batista’s Judgment Day is coming. Shane gets stretchered out of the arena.
Show over.
The WWE RAW Report Card
Shane McMahon v. The Legacy went to a no contest: B
Carlito d. THE Brian Kendrick: D-
Ted DiBiase d. Batista via DQ: C+
Mickie James d. Maryse: C+
Cody Rhodes d. MVP via Countout: C
Kofi Kingston d. Matt Hardy: C+
Shane McMahon v. Randy Orton never started: N/A
The FINAL Grade for WWE RAW 05.04.09: C / C+
The main event handicap match was probably one of the better handicap matches the WWE has put on in some time. The heel side had the control and Shane did have his moments where it was believed he would defy the odds. The finish was also understandable as it would hurt Orton more if Shane won the match. With Orton putting Shane on the shelf, he can now focus on Batista. All in all, a decent RAW tonight, even if the wrestling was average at best. Enjoy your week and I will be back Thursday!
