Smack YOU! May 8th 2009

Man did I have a nightmare getting this up. I wrote the review on my laptop as always with the desire to upload it onto my PC and then post it. Sadly, my laptop is corrupted and every attempt to move the file over turned the writing into gibberish that looked like Klingon mixed with hieroglyphics. So I basically had to re type the whole thing meaning it’s not getting posted till 3AM my time. Ah technology, it likes to screw with you doesn’t it?

Anyhoo, enough whining here’s Smackdown!

We’re in Pittsburgh

Teddy Long starts us out in the ring. He invites Rey Mysterio down to the ring. Rey looks like such a tool wearing the mask with normal clothing. Rey says that he’s very happy to be back on Smackdown and that Jeff Hardy was the better man last week. Jericho interrupts to officially kill the John Morrison feud. I love how WWE had something that was genuinely interesting in Morrison/Jericho and then just threw it away even though it god a widely positive response from most who saw it. Much love to Jericho and Rey but wouldn’t it be more prudent to keep Jericho with Morrison and put Rey with someone like Shelton Benjamin so that more people get elevated. What will Jericho Vs Rey achieve other than being pay per view filler for one month? Anyhoo, Jericho isn’t happy with Teddy and demands that Teddy refers to him as the “Face of Smackdown”. Teddy refuses, causing Jericho to go on a verbal tirade. Rey however, mans up and gets all up in Jericho’s grill before shoving him down. Lol Jericho just got pwned by a guy half his size. Now THAT’S a hell! Rey storms off and Jeff soon comes out as this opening segment is now wandering aimlessly. Jeff basically challenges Jericho to a match and says that if Jericho wins then Jericho can get in the title match at Judgment Day.

R-Truth Vs Mike Knox

Mike Knox’s beard is stupendous, it gives Brian Blessed a run for his money. Truth tries to stick and move but Knox uses the power of the BEARD to put a stop top that. Knox folds Truth in half with a spine buster and plants some knees while Truth is down. Truth fights out of a rest hold and gets a flurry of kicks finishing with the scissors kick for a two count. Truth heads up top with a missile dropkick for another two. Truth lays into Knox in the corner but the ref pulls him off allowing Knox to get a cheap shot with a bicycle kick. That’s one hell of a cheap shot! Truth is out and Knox finishes him with the Knox Out.

WINNER – MIKE KNOX

* – Energetic short TV match not nothing more.

Women are walking backstage. That can mean only one thing!

Michelle McCool w/ Alicia Fox Vs Gail Kim

McCool looks less attractive every time I see her. Jesus love, here’s a nutrition tip for you, EAT SOME FUCKING FOOD! Michelle is honestly starting to resemble Skeletor. Gail on the other hand actually looks human and is thus attractive, amazing how that works isn’t it? Aggressive lock up leads to Michelle getting an arm drag and some push ups. Kim uses her agility to fight back so Michelle bails. Michelle uses Alicia as a human shield to give her a chance to get back in where she cuts Gail off. Michelle gets a nice head scissors but Gail gets out and mounts a comeback. Gail gets a nice shoulder charge in the corner and follows with a blockbuster but Michelle gets her foot on the rope and finishes soon after with the Styles Clash.

WINNER – MICHELLE MCCOOL

*1/4 – Michelle’s dietary issues aside, this was a solid little match, definitely one of Gail’s best since coming back.

Josh Matthews is with Jeff Hardy. He’s going to win tonight etc.

Teddy is in his office with Maria and Ricky Ortiz. Edge storms in and gives Teddy some shit. He’s angry about Jeff Vs Jericho, CM Punk, the polar ice caps melting, you name it. This all leads to Teddy making Edge Vs Punk tonight.

John Morrison Vs Charlie Haas w/ Shelton Benjamin

Haas wastes no time taking Morrison down to the mat. Haas continues to dominate but Morrison fights back with a springboard dropkick for two. BIG back body drop sends Morrison down to the mat. Haas sends Morrison into the turnbuckle hard style and delivers a chop for good measure. Haas gets some really nice stuff in during the heat including a double underhook suplex and a tilt a whirl backbreaker. Man I missed no nonsense Charlie Haas. Morrison fights out of a surfboard to start his comeback. Nice leaping calf kick by Morrison. Morrison knees Haas in the face and heads up top with a split legged corkscrew moonsault for the win.

WINNER – JOHN MORRISON

** – I really enjoyed this match. Morrison and Haas worked well together and Haas was excellent during the heat. I’d love to see them have a longer match. Shelton teases getting into a fight with Morrison post match but ends up backing down.

Meanwhile, there’s a hobo loose backstage! Wait a minute, that’s just CM Punk.

CM Punk Vs Edge

Edge is tentative to start as Punk outshines him during some chain wrestling. Edge gets a knee to the gut but misses a charge in the corner and takes an arm drag into an arm bar for his troubles. Punk back drops Edge outside and follows with a suicide dive, Back inside, Punk tries the springboard clothesline but Edge ducks and gets a Yakuza Kick to get the heat. I love cut offs like that as Edge didn’t really cheat but it works perfectly with his “opportunist” character. Punk take some heat and fights his way out of a rest hold. Both men think cross body and crash into each other for the double down. Edge goes for a suplex but goes all Austin Aries on his ass by kneeing him in the face while vertical to break. Punk gets a knee lift and a heel kick before finally getting the elusive springboard clothesline for two. Edge dodges the knee in the corner and goes for an electric chair but Punk turns that into a victory roll for two. GTS is countered by using the ropes but Punk dodges a Spear sending Edge outside. Edge takes a walk rather than get back in.

WINNER – CM PUNK

**1/4 – Not as good as last week. Punk wants Edge to get back in and continue the fight but Umaga comes out of the crowd and opens a can of the ass whip on him to prevent that.

Cryme Tyme comes out to oversee an arm wrestling match between Layla and Eve. This is what happens when you have no heel teams for them to face. Layla and Eve do their best to try and work the arm wrestling but it’s neither exciting or interesting. Eve wins, if you care. And then, in a totally unforeseen event (If you’re an African Tribesman without access to a TV who has never seen wrestling before) Layla jumps Eve and hits her with a neck breaker. It’s kind of upsetting that they’re trying so hard to build heat for this women’s match, which will be lucky to be anything more than a 2 minute atrocity, while the only use they have for Ricky Ortiz is to admire Maria’s clothing designs. It’s not like Ortiz is a big star anyway, but he could be if they devoted this time to him and gave him a feud with someone. Instead it goes to Layla and Eve who I’m sure are very nice girls but they’re match isn’t going to be any good and helps no one.

Case in point, Jimmy Yang and Jesse are backstage and get insulted by Dolph Ziggler. That ends their involvement on this show. How about you cut that Layla/Eve segment and instead do one based on the wild redneck adventures of Jesse and Yang? I guarantee that you could do 100 more entertaining things with their wacky characters than you could with the women and you might actually get them over.

Dolph Ziggler comes out and issues the dreaded open challenge. Great Khali accepts and they have a very short match that ends with Ziggler hitting Khali in the leg with a chair. I doubt this will last very long but if they stretch it out for a few weeks with Ziggler continuously dodging his deserved beat down then I bet the fans will be salivating for Khali to kill him.

Edge joins us for commentary for the next match

Jeff Hardy Vs Chris Jericho

Jericho unloads on Jeff to start, slapping him around like he stole his Loverboy tapes. Jeff spears him down and unloads with some rights. Jeff keeps control but Jericho rolls outside when he tries the Swanton. Rey Mysterio comes down to ensure Jericho can’t skedaddle and Jeff brings Jericho back inside. Jeff beats Jericho around ringside but misses a dive off the steps, tasting only barricade. Jeff is almost counted out but makes it back in just in time.

Commercial

We’re back with Jericho choking Jeff on the ropes. Jeff fires up but runs into a knee to stop that. Jericho goes to a rest hold but Jeff fights out and starts his comeback. Jeff slips on the top rope while going for the Whisper in the Wind but they salvage things with Jericho going for a super back drop. Jeff elbows out of that and gets the Whisper for real for two. Jericho locks in the Walls of Jericho but Jeff makes the ropes. Jericho stalks Jeff for the Code Breaker but Jeff blocks it and gets the face buster suplex and heads up for a Swanton. Jericho dodges the Swanton and gets the Lionsault for a very close two. Jeff dodges the enzuiguri and tries the Twist of Fate but Jericho counters that to the Walls again which Jeff counters to a pin which Jericho then counters to his OWN pin for two. Crowd is slightly subdued for all this unfortunately. Both men tumble outside where Jericho flings Jeff over the commentary table wiping Edge out in the process. Jericho gets two from that back inside. Edge comes onto the apron to complain allowing Jeff to get a School Boy for two. Jericho tries a pin with his feet on the ropes but Rey alerts the ref to this. Jericho jaws with Rey allowing Jeff to lay him out with the Twist of Fate and get the Swanton for the win.

WINNER – JEFF HARDY

**3/4 – Solid match that built nicely. With a better crowd it would have had a much hotter finishing sequence.

Well, the show wasn’t as good as last week but there was still some good stuff and all the matches had something you could take positives from. I’m not thrilled about Jericho and Rey feuding but I’m sure they’ll have good matches. I just wish they were having good matches with the newer stars trying to break out rather than with each other. I do see effort from WWE to get Morrison, Ziggler, Knox and others over but it’s going to take time and they will all have to be booked strongly, especially Morrison. Hopefully we’ll see this in the coming months.

Until next time, Good Journey!

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