Pulse Wrestling’s Real-Time RAW Coverage – 05.11.09

Reviews, Shows, Top Story, TV Shows

Welcome Pulse Readers to tonight’s real-time coverage of WWE RAW! If you have AIM and would like to be in on tonight’s coverage, simply click the following link:

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THE WORLD IS WATCHING!

We kick off tonight’s show with the WWE Champion, Randy Orton and the members of Legacy.  They stand on the top of the stage looking around the arena.  He says the McMahons should stop listening to the fans.  Life beats you down and you stay beaten down because we are all cowards, Randy says.  We pay to watch Randy do what he does, like last week.  He ended the McMahon era last week by destroying Shane O’ Mac.  When it’s over, Legacy appear in the ring.  Conveinently, Randy Orton got Batista banned from touching him tonight.  Instead of fists, we’ll have a war of words.  He invites Batista to the ring and that request is accepted.

Randy tells Batista that he won’t win the tite at all.  He wants to give Batista an opportunity to join Legacy, something he has not done to any WWE superstar.  Ted DiBiase talks about about being kicked in the face by Orton and how that straightened him up.  Randy says that while he and Batista were in Evolution, they were unstoppable.  If Batista joins Legacy, they will be bigger than DX, The Four Horseman, & Evolution.  Randy Orton namedrops Arn Anderson, who was Flair’s enforcer for ten years.  Randy wants Batista to be his enforcer.  Batista says that everything Orton said makes perfect sense.  However, Batista hates him, despises him, and loathes him.  Batista isn’t here to help Randy, but to hurt him and there is nothing Randy can do to stop him.

Randy says that Batista made the biggest mistake of his life and if there was the no touching rule, Randy would drop him right now.  Batista is tired of listening to Vickie Guerrero and Randy Orton.  He calls Vickie on her bluff, saying that she won’t call off the main event to Judgment Day.  The mic goes down and Vickie comes out…EXCUSE ME!

She takes offense to being called predictable.  She’s waiving the no-touch rule tonight.  She doesn’t care if they tear each other apart.  The title match takes place Sunday regardless on if both men are able to compete.  She books DiBiase & Rhodes against Batista tonight.  If DiBiase & Rhodes win, it becomes a three-on-one Handicap Match (tonight?).  If Batista wins, he gets Randy tonight.  She orders Randy to leave the ring, barring him from ringside as the two-on-one handicap match is NEXT!

Commercials.

Batista v. Priceless
Two-on-One Handicap Match

We’re back and it’s in progress.  Batista sends DiBiase corner to corner HARD.  DiBiase drops Batista with a jawbreaker and tags in Rhodes.  Rhodes gets suplexed hard for a two count.  Rhodes floats off Batista and he SWEEPS THE LEG!  Tag to DiBiase and DiBiase works on the leg.  Leg lock applied by DiBiase and he continues to wear down Batista’s mobility.  Tag to Rhodes and he continues the wear down.  Batista gets up to a knee, but Rhodes tags out to DiBiase, who slams the leg down on the apron.  Cover gets two and DiBiase looks for a sharpshooter, but Batista kicks him off with the good leg into a tag to Rhodes.  Batista makes Rhodes his b*tch for the moment and DiBiase is made a non-factor.  Rhodes grabs a chair from under the ring.  He brings it in the ring and Batista gets caught swinging for the fences and the ref calls the questionable DQ.

Winner via DQ: DiBiase & Rhodes
Grade: D

Commercials.

Torpedo Takedown: Mickie James d. Maryse last week!

Maryse is in the ring as we return.  She speaks French.  If she wasn’t Maryse, she would want to be.  Cue Mickie James.

Maryse & Jillian Hall v. Mickie James & Kelly Kelly

The bell sounds and Kelly Kelly and Jillian start things off.  Jillian puts Kelly in an arm wringer, but Kelly shows off her athletic moves.  Flying headscissors by Kelly Kelly takes Jillian off.  Maryse distracts Kelly and that allows Jillian to get a takedown and a follow-up two count.  Tag to Maryse and Kelly gets double-teamed.  She sits on Kelly Kelly’s back and extends the neck before slapping her a bit.  Kelly gets out of the move, but Maryse pulls the hair.  She mocks Mickie James and gets a cheap shot.  Dropkick by Kelly Kelly and in comes Mickie!  She takes Maryse off her game.  Top rope Hurrancurana by Mickie and she goes back on top.  Top rope Thez Press gets two, broken up by Jillian.  Kelly takes out Jillian with a flying clothesline, but Maryse goes for the French DDT…Mickie has that scouted and she hits her Screaming DDT for the win.

Winners: Mickie James & Kelly Kelly
Grade: C+

Josh Matthews is with Randy Orton and he wants his thoughts on the three-on-one match.  He talks a bit and Ted DiBiase interrupts to tell Randy that Cody has disappeared.  Hmmmm….

Commercials.

We’re back and we recap the events between Big Show and John Cena.

We are in Vickie’s office and Chavo says good things to Vickie.  He suggests that John Cena being forced to compete tonight.  He wants Cena in an “exibition” match tonight and will compete until Vickie says he is ready for Sunday.  Cena v. Miz later on tonight.

Here’s a first.  Michael Cole & Jerry Lawler able in the ring on the live mics hyping Judgment Day.

DiBiase and Orton split up to look for Cody Rhodes.  Orton finds him.  They go back to find DiBiase, who has been taken out by Batista.

Commercials.

Mr. Kennedy returns to RAW soon!

Carlito comes out with Primo for a moment before Primo leaves the stage.

Carlito v. THE Brian Kendrick

The bell sounds and Kendrick pushes Carlito.  He responds by taking Kendrick out with a dropkick.  Kendrick gets control, squashing Carlito in the corner.  Off the ropes and Carlito is ready.  Leg drop connects and that gets two.  Carlito tees off.  Springboard attempt and Kendrick uses the hair to send Carlito to the mat.  Carlito blocks “THE Kendrick” and he sends him to the post.  Kendrick counters the backstabber and he sends Carlito into the post.  Schoolboy with the tights get the pin.

Winner: THE Brian Kendrick
Grade: D

Kendrick vows to find “the partner” to win the tag titles with.

Cena v. Miz NEXT!

Commercials.

We’re back and the Big Show makes his way out to ringside.  He sits on the announce table directly in front of Michael Cole.  The match rules is that there is no pinfalls or submissions and the match can only end when Vickie Guerrero says so.

John Cena v. The Miz
Exhibition Match

The Miz has a microphone saying that he will do worse to Cena tonight.  Miz talks about 12 Rounds and gets Cena’s attention.  Miz is going to call this 3-0 because he is the Miz and he is awesome.

They lock up and Cena takes him down amateurly.  He keeps an eye on Big Show and he takes Miz down again.  Gut punch by the Miz and he hits a back drop.  Suplex connects and Miz hits another, focusing on the back.  The Miz chokes Cena down in the corner and he charges for him.  Miz stomps away at Cena, targeting the neck, back, and shoulder.  The Miz sends Cena pillar to post, but Cena evades a Miz charge.  Shouldertackles connect.  PROTOBOMB!  Five Knuckle Shuffle connects as well and the Miz is in trouble.  Vickie Guerrero has seen enough and stops the match, saying that he has no chance against the Big Show.  This allows Miz to get the last laugh.  The Miz leaves and the Big Show stares his Judgment Day opponent in the ring on his back.

Grade: C

Cody is smart, saying that they should be careful.  Randy Orton asks Cody to prove himself and take Batista out.  He leaves.

Commercials.

Vickie Guerrero says the idea of Chavo’s was a good idea.  Santina comes inside and Vickie Guerrero complains about her calling Vickie swine-like. However, she wasn’t here last week, Santino was.  Vickie brings Beth and Rosa in and wants Rosa to give s/he a kiss.  Rosa kisses Santina on the cheek and Santina makes out with Rosa.  Santina admits to being a lesbian and s/he makes the pig noises to Vickie.  Santina leaves, slapping Rosa on the ass on her way out.

Meanwhile, Cody Rhodes is hunting for Batista and finds Hornswoggle instead.  Batista comes around and he bashes Cody up against the lockers and throws him in the locked room.

Commercials.

We get a video telling viewers that the injuries in wrestling are real.  Don’t try this at home.

We’re back and we recap the ordeal between Orton and Batista.

Beth Phoenix (w/Rosa Mendez) v. Santina Marella

Santina chants to start off and Beth takes it to her from the get go.  Santina side steps Beth in the corner and the action spills outside.  BETH PICKS SANTINA UP and she throws her in the ring.  Whip reversal and Beth gets a stretch on Santina.  Hip toss reversal and Beth locks on the Full Nelson.  Santina powers out, but Beth takes her down and beats on her.  She mounts her and slaps away.  Small package on Beth and Santina wins again.

Winner: Santina Marella
Grade: F

Santina dances and gyrates.

Commercials.

This just in: RAW is more popular than hockey.

Cena is backstage and Josh Matthews wants to ask Cena how he can compete at Judgment Day.  Cena’s hurt and he has gone through hard times.  Cena will adapt and overcome, just like this great nation.  He’s not going to compete against the Big Show…he’s gonna WIN!

MVP makes his way to the ring for the VIP Lounge.

The VIP Lounge

MVP talks down William Regal, making small jokes and telling him to put a dress on.  Regal comes out and reminds MVP that he was a GM and a King of the Ring.  He paid his dues and waited patiently to make his grand return.  He says that MVP ignored his tenure and leaped above him.  MVP says that Regal is miserable and boring.  Regal says that MVP as the US Champion is quite fitting, since Americans are bad people (in general).  The robe comes off, but Matt Hardy makes his way onto the stage.  He’s pissed off for being forced to compete despite his broken hand.  He wants his loss against Kofi taken off.  He wants Regal to wait his turn because Matt Hardy beat MVP more than anyone.  Kofi Kingston comes out and he beats on Matt Hardy.

Out comes Chavo Guerrero and we will have a tag team match IMMEDIATELY!

Kofi Kingston & MVP v. William Regal & Matt Hardy

But first…

Commercials.

We are JIP and MVP tees off on Regal in the corner.  Tag to Kingston and he takes Regal down with a crossbody.  Hardy gets dropped off the apron and Kingston drops the legs on Regal for two.  Hardy comes in and MVP follows.  Kingston beats on Regal and Hardy hits Kingston with the cast.  Regal covers for two.  Tag to Hardy and he knees Kingston in the face.  Hardy scoops Kingston up and slams him down for two.  Hardy gets a stretch and he uses the hair.  In comes Regal and he kicks him hard in the gut.  Knee strike to the gut and he continues the beatdown.  REGALPLEX GETS TWO!  Tag to Matt and he drops the elbow on Kingston.  Hardy gets the stretch applied again and Kofi gets out fo it.  Tag back to Regal and he drops the knee on Kingston.  Regal focuses on the midsection.  Kofi goes for a sunset flip and he flips Regal up and over.  Tag to MVP and he goes to town on Regal.  MVP drops the knee on Regal’s face and he goes BALLIN’!  He covers for two, broken up by Hardy.  Kingston kicks Matt in the cast.  Regal takes Kingston out hard and MVP beats Regal down.  Hardy leaves the match and MVP hits the Playmaker for the three!

Winner: MVP & Kofi Kingston
Grade: B-

Randy Orton walks alone…

Commercials.

The Peep Show returns tomorrow on ECW!

We recap Shane McMahon killing himself, literally last week.

Time for the MAIN EVENT!

Randy Orton v. Batista

Randy Orton says that Batista made his point, but they don’t need to fight tonight.  He was going to take the forefit, but Batista won’t allow that.

The bell sounds and Orton takes a quick RKO chance, but Batista counters that.  Orton takes Batista down and he tries to leave.  Back in the ring, Batista hits two spinebusters and he grabs a chair!  He uses it on Orton!

Winner via DQ: Randy Orton
Grade: F

Batista beats Orton with the chair, hitting the ankle a la last week! Batista takes the steps and brings them in the ring.  He slaps the chair on Orton’s leg and he chases the referee out of the ring.  Rhodes and DiBiase stops it and Cody gets bombed in the ring.  He takes care of the problem and goes to bomb Orton, but spears DiBiase instead.  HE THROWS THE STEPS AT ORTON!  He narrowly misses and Orton is scared.

Show over.

The WWE RAW Report Card

Randy Orton d. Batista: F
Kofi Kingston & MVP d. William Regal & Matt Hardy: B-
Santina Marella d. Beth Phoenix: F
John Cena v. The Miz (Exhibition Match): C
THE Brian Kendrick d. Carlito: D
Mickie James & Kelly Kelly d. Maryse & Jillian Hall: C+
Legacy d. Batista: D

The FINAL Grade for RAW 05.11.09: F/D+ borderline

The show bombed in a bad way tonight.  The only thing that was watchable was the MVP VIP Lounge with Regal and Hardy and the tag match that followed that.  The go home show was all about Orton/Batista with a bit of Santina Marella kissing Rosa Mendez added in to make it worse.  The F grade is for the fact that this was the last RAW before Judgment Day and this is what we were shown.  The D+ grade was for the wrestling.  Discretion to avoid unless you’re a fan of the “cat and mouse” game between Batista and Legacy.

Paul Marshall has been with Pulse Wrestling since September 2007. He currently does a weekly WWE Column titled "This Week In 'E". Follow him on Twitter here.