ECW Real-Time Coverage for 5/12/2009

Welcome to the EC-Dub!

 

Lately, the final ECW show before a pay-per-view has been awful.  They have become one hour commercials for the ppv with little to no action in the ring.  The episode directly preceding Wrestlemania is the best (worst?) example of this.  Let’s hope tonight fares better.  On with the show!

 

We start with Swagger and Christian in the back with interim GM Tiffany.  She says tonight we’ll have the first Peep Show in almost 4 years.  Christian wants Swagger to be on the show, but Tiffany says he can be on the Peep Show but if there is any physical contact, there will be consequences.  Christian leaves and Tiffany reiterates to Swagger.  He looks her up and down and says he heard her the first time.

 

The ECW theme kicks in and here comes the pyro.  Your hosts are Josh Matthews and Matt Striker and we are in Dayton, OH.

 

Mark Henry’s music hits and he heads to the ring with Tony Atlas.  His opponent is Tommy Dreamer who walks down now.

 

Mark Henry (w/ Tony Atlas) vs. Tommy Dreamer

Striker tells us that Dreamer has a cracked vertebrae and an injured groin.  Mark Henry hip tosses Dreamer to the ground.  Dreamer with punches.  Henry reverses an irish whip and throws Dreamer right out of the ring.  Dreamer catches Henry’s arem on the way back in and drags ist across the top rope. Dreamer to the top rope and he nails the injured arm.  Dreamer with more offense on the arm but Henry punches him down.  Chinlock.  He stands on Dreamer while holding the ropes.  Chops to Dreamer’s neck.  Wrenches his head.  Dreamer is up but gets headbutted back down.  Cover for two.  Whip to the corner.  Chops.  Headbutt.  The crowd boos Henry as he struts.  Henry to the corner but gets the boot.  Dreamer to the top again but gets caught.  Dreamer fights out but gets clotheslined down.  Henry misses the elbow.  Dreamer with elbows of his own and a low dropkick.  Henry crawls to the corner and Dreamer starts the ECW chant.  Hits the baseball slide dropkick.  Hits the DDT!!  Cover for two but Henry gets the foot on the rope.  Atlas distracts Dreamer and Henry goes to the corner.  Dreamer tries for a small package but Henry sits on his arm.  Ouch.  Gets Dreamer up for the World’s Strongest Slam. 1,2,3.

 

Winner: Mark Henry Decent match for these two.  I actually thought Dreamer was gonna pull this one out.

 

Gregory Helms is in the back with Natalya and Tyson Kidd.  He informs us that Natalya can’t be ringside for Kidd’s match with Finlay.  Natalya says Kidd doesn’t need anyone.  Kidd says he was trained at Hart’s Dungeon and doesn’t need backup.  Kidd heads to the ring and Helms tells Natalya that she can watch the match with him.  She stares him down and leaves.  Helms gives us his catchphrase.. “What’s up wit dat?”

 

Commercials.

 

We’re back and Finlay is heading to the ring.  We recap Finlay’s interference last week that cost Tyson Kidd a victory over Evan Bourne.  Tyson Kidd comes out next and we’re headed for a fight.

 

Tyson Kidd vs. Finlay

They lock up and Finlay muscles him to the corner. Reversed by Kidd who muscles Finlay to another corner.  Headlock and takedown by Finlay.  Kidd sends Finlay to the ropes but gets shoulderblocked down. Cover for one.  Finlay starts working on the wrist and arm with a wristlock.  Kidd tries to fight out but Finlay punches him down.  Kidd tries to bite Finlay and gets an elbow for his troubles.  Elbow from Finlay.  Kidd takes out Finlays leg from under him and gets him in a leglock.  He converts to an ankle lock.  Finlay twists out and is in control.  He gets him in a leglock and stands up and catapults him backwards.  Looks like that hurt Kidd’s back.  Kidd rolls outside.  Finlay misses a legdrop on the apron.  Kidd back in and tries a baseball slide but Finlay catches him in the ring apron and beats on him.  Kidd back in and nails Finlay as he tries to get back in. Kidd dropkicks him and Finlay hits the steel steps.  He sets Finlay on the apron and smashes his arm down as we go to…

 

Commercial break.

 

We’re back and Kidd is stomping on Finlay’s arm.  Armlock and Kidd screams at the ref to ask if he submits.  Kidd back up, hits a dropkick and goes right back to the armlock.   More yelling at the ref Jericho style.  Finlay tries to break out and Kidd twists the arm and then drops it down.  Kidd goes for a clothesline but gets shoulderblocked down.  Kidd goes to the top and Finlay throws him down.  Clothesline from Finlay.  And two more.  Gets him up for the Rolling Hills.  Cover for two.  Shoulderblock in the corner.  Kidd thrown to another corner and another shoulderblock.  Finlay gets him up for the Celtic Cross and DH FREAKIN SMITH comes in for the save.  He beats down Finlay.  Finlay tries to fight back but Kidd hits him in the leg with his own shillelagh.  Smith throws Finlay out of the ring and smashes his head on the announce table and steel steps.  Smith continues the beat down and finally throws him back in the ring.  Kidd hits him again with the shillelagh.  Smith picks him up and they hit the Hart Foundation finisher.  Natalya comes down as well and congratulates the two men.  Finlay lays dead in the ring.

 

Winner: Finlay by DQ  It is awesome that we have a new Hart Foundation.  Seriously awesome.  Or is it the Canadian Bulldogs?  I’m not sure.

 

Commercials.

 

We recap the DH Smith run-in.  Matthews calls him David Hart Smith (if I heard him right).  We now get the Raw Rebound.  I really hope Orton wins at Judgment Day.  Speaking of which, we get a Judgment Day card rundown.

 

Zack is in the back with Tiffany and spouts some nonsense.  His character is awful.  Paul Burchill comes back with Katie Lea and tells Tiffany he’s not on ECW this week and he wasn’t on last week.  Tiffany informs him that not everyone can be on every week.  Burchill is mad and heads out.  Katie Lea give Tiffany some advice: when Paul gets bored he tends to get himself in trouble.  Now we head to a Vladimir Kozlov video package of him training.  Apparently, he’s next.

 

Commercial break.

 

We are back to Dayton, OH.  Kozlov comes out to stomp someone I’m sure.  Striker calls him undefeated.  I guess he means on ECW.  His opponent Chad Collyer is already in the ring.

 

Vladimir Kozlov vs. Chad Collyer

Chad goes for some amateur wrestling but Kozlov hip tosses him down and gets a headlock on him.  Chad gets the ropes.  They get up and Kozlov beats on him.  Headbutts to the midsection.  Chad goes off the ropes for a body press but gets slammed down by Kozlov.  Kozlov hits his choke slam and it’s over.

 

Winner: Vladimir Kozlov At least it was short.

 

Matthews is in the ring to interview.  He asks what sets him apart from other wrestlers.  He says he was trained in Russian martial arts.  Some more stuff I didn’t understand.  Something about Russia dominating the world in everything.  Yeah, that’s why we won the Cold War, genius.  Don’t you have a small country to invade?

 

Commercials.

 

Christian is headed to the ring to start the Peep Show.  Captain Charisma holds his ECW belt with pride as he walks down the aisle.  He is going to fight Mark Henry on Superstars this week, so tune in if you get WGN. 

 

Christian welcomes the ladies, gentleman, kids and Peeps of all ages to the Peep Show.  It’s his first show as ECW champion.  He calls down the former ECW champ the “All-American American” Jack Swagger.  Swagger heads down and looks unimpressed. 

 

Swagger grabs a mic and Christian welcomes him to the championship edition of the Peep Show.  Swagger says this is so stupid.  Christian asks him what is up with him?  People will think he’s a sore loser instead of just a loser.  He wants to talk about Judgment Day.  Swagger wants to talk about Backlash and how Christian cheated.  Just like A-list celebs, Swagger brought a clip.  They recap the exposed turnbuckle incident and Swagger’s loss.  He asks Christian what he has to say for himself.  First, Swagger showed how Christian won the belt, and second that Swagger exposed a turnbuckle as well.  He tells Swagger he got outsmarted.  Christian put together a clip as well.  It shows Swagger lisping a whole bunch with silly music in the background.  Suffering Succotash.  Christian says the clip doesn’t prove anything but he likes making Swagger look stupid.  Swagger says, listen Chuckles, laugh it up because he owns Christian in the ring.  He says in six months Christian will be sitting on his couch wishing he never came back to ECW.  All the peeps will be sad.  Swagger reiterates there will be no physicality during the show.  Christian says as host, he can say when the show is over.  He NAILS Swagger with the mic and shows off his ECW belt.  Swagger slowly backs up the ramp staring daggers at Christian.   Show over.

 

A much better show than I anticipated.  My concerns at the beginning of the column were unfounded.

 

See you next week!

 

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