At the end of tonight, only two guys will be left with the dream of being the American Idol for 2009. Of course there dream of being hits in the music industry will not be stopped. All three will have an album on iTunes before Christmas.
Ben Stiller and the cast of Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian perform a lame sketch about how the American Idol Judging table is going to the Smithsonian. What exactly is the appeal of Jonah Hill? Has he really become that big of a star? Now that Dom DeLuise is dead, Jonah Hill can take over the role of Captain Chaos to Owen Wilson’s Burt Reynolds in the remake of Cannonball Run. Todd Phillips is directing the new mayhem.
Kevin Bacon is in the house! Ryan comes out and says that the desk is going to be in the Smithsonian. Time to call the travel agent. He declares that 88 million votes came in. He says there was only 1 million votes separated the top two. But how many divided the second from the third? Jordin Sparks and Katy Perry are the musical guests. Tonight’s Ford commercial has the guys becoming comic book characters while singing “Break My Stride.” It’s not a smooth trio vocal. Alicia Keyes comes out to talk about Idol Gives Back in Africa. We meet a kid from Rwanda that’s making an album about living with HIV/AIDS. Instead of an 1-800 number, people can text and donate $5. They bring out the kid named Noah to sing a song he just learned in English. The mix has the background vocals stomping all over his microphone. Wait, it sounds like he’s lip synching to his pre-recorded and heavily treated vocal. He’s doing a lot of funky dance moves. At least it’s for a good cause. It is nice to see a Rwandan moment that doesn’t include talk of the genocide of ’94.
Ryan plugs the American Idol tour. Adam Lambert, Kris Allen and Danny Gokey are watching the show on a monitor backstage. He calls out Danny Gokey to the front of the stage. Ryan asks what it was like to go back to Milwaukee and meet his pal Jamar. Danny’s buddy got cut before the 36. The crowd goes nuts when Danny is roaming around the town and meeting up with the local Fox morning show. They show a nutty girl racing after his limo. Danny has Jamar in the convertible as he waves at the folks on the parade route. There hasn’t been this large of a crowd in Milwaukee since Laverne and Shirley mud wrestled before a Brewers game.
Ryan orders them to dim the lights. He gives Danny a recap of reviews to his two songs. But instead of ending the anticipation, he send Danny to the sofa. Kris Allen is now called onto the stage. We get to see highlights of his visit to Conway, Arkansas. The crowd in Little Rock is nuts for the guy. Lots of little girls that normally scream for the Jonas Brothers. He goes to an amphitheater in Little Rock for the rally. Finally he gets to his family’s home in Conway. Him and his dad have a long hug. He does a concert with his acoustic guitar at his college. Finally we get the big parade. The town is nuts for the guy. There’s women with green hair in the crowd. He keeps singing “Falling Slowly” which works so much better as a duet. The movie Once is now on cable. Ryan recaps the reviews, but send Kris to the coach.
They bring on the winner of season six: Jordin Sparks. On the piano is a guy from OneRepublic. She’s wearing a huge promise ring. Did Kobe Bryant cheat on her? She’s sings “Why does love feel like a battlefield?” Who is this woman dating that it their love is such a nasty conflict? If the person you are with is that annoying – feel free to dump them. Maybe your relationship won’t be 24/7 happiness, but if your animosity lasts longer than this song, maybe you and that person aren’t really lovers? While bickering seems like cute thing on The Honeymooners, you really don’t need to live the home version. If you find your date singing along to this song, don’t pay for their dinner. You deserve happiness in your relationship.
Adam Lambert finally steps to the stage. We see him going back to San Diego. He’s a natural on the Fox morning show. The crows is nuts and female. In a moment of pure taste, they play The Who’s “Baba O’Riley” with the “Teenage wasteland” line while he’s at a high school. A girl jumps him on the stage. Have they not learned from Clay Aiken? Ryan gives him the reviews and sends him to the couch. The three will have to wait for Katy Perry to perform. Did you know that she kissed a girl?
Ryan introduces Katy Perry. Danny Gokey wants the suspense to end. Adam wants to see Katy Perry perform “Waking Up in Vegas.” She’s dressed in a sex version of Elvis’ famous jumpsuit. The back of the cape reads “Adam Lambert.” The stage is covered in showgirls. It’s a peppy song about getting too drunk to remember getting married. Confetti and money fall from the sky. It’s like a party in my rumpus room when Pac-man Jones is in town. Maybe if Adam does get cut, she’ll take him back to the hotel for a little consolation gift? I didn’t see a promise ring on her finger when she flashed enough cleavage to distract a pit boss.
Looks like there’s boning on Bones tomorrow.
Adam, Kris and Danny are in a line. Ryan has the lights dimmed. It’s time for two to be finalists. The first person competing is Kris Allen. Who is challenging Kris? Adam Lambert gets named. It’s Danny Gokey going home. Kara looks shocked. The farewell video deals with his late wife. Ignoring the choke up moment in “You Are So Beautiful to Me” cost him the emotional tag to get the phones ringing. He does it again tonight and doesn’t get the quiver. How can he have not realized that’s the peg on that song? It’s not like this will cost Danny Gokey his musical career. And he’ll be back next week for the preview of the American Idol tour on the final results show.
Simon claims he wouldn’t have predicted Kris against Adam. He predicts a “huge ding dong” next week. What? Children might not want to tune in.
Wednesday night will be Adam Lambert vs. Kris Allen. This is a battle of a theatrical thriller versus a good natured shiller.
