On tap this week:
— Going into the way back machine with Carl Weathers
— This DiCaprio being famous people thing has just got to stop
— Metal making me feel old again
And slightly much more!
Ever have one of those moments where you realize you’re no longer young? Just had one this weekend.
So I’m watching VH1 on a Sunday, because usually they have the best in trashy reality shows, and on their “Classic” channel they on occasion show this interesting show Heavy: The Story of Metal or something along those lines. Being an old school metal-head in my youth, this fascinated me as they got all the heroes of my youth together to talk about the rise (and fall, and fall and fall and fall) of heavy metal in the 80s. Or at least that’s all they show about the subject, as the peak of heavy metal coincided with the peak of MTV it seems, but the more they keep showing all these guys (who were young and vibrant then) and keep mentioning the years they were popular it was kind of sad. Especially Jani Lane.
For those not in the know, Lane was the lead singer of Warrant and penned perhaps the greatest song to ever be used in a low-class gentleman’s club: “Cherry Pie.” Featuring a tremendously awful video to coincide with the song of the same quality, it was a last minute throw-on to an album that was supposed to be titled “Uncle Tom’s Cabin” and subsequently became a phenomenon all to itself. The album became “Cherry Pie” and Warrant had a massive hit that ultimately they would be defined by. Heck, every ‘80s “Best of” album comes complete with “Cherry Pie” so in a way Lane at least achieved rock immortality with one song. When he’s long done, years from now, dumb teenagers will still rock out to it.
But when he was talking, I couldn’t help but notice how old he had gotten. And everyone else, too. Then I did the math. In 1985 they were all young cats, and that’s 25 years ago. It doesn’t seem that long ago, but time flies. You don’t notice until your childhood heroes get old, I think.
Thoughts like these kept me out of the good colleges.
Random Thoughts of the Week
This week it was announced that Marty Scorsese would be directing a Sinatra biopic, one that has the blessing of the Sinatra family, and it looks like the two actors who are in contention for the part as The Chairman of the Board are two actors I generally can’t stand: Johnny Depp and Leonardo DiCaprio. While I could see Depp in the role, though he doesn’t look anything like him, but the whole DiCaprio thing is bugging me. Why?
Because Sinatra wasn’t known for being an Aryan-looking dude, that’s why.
I know Marty likes him an awful lot, because he casts him in every bloody movie he makes that he would’ve given to De Niro 30 years ago, but he has to have a picture of Scorsese with a donkey to get this part. DiCaprio is a good actor, I admit, but it’s kind of a stretch to picture him as Frank. Could he pull it off? Maybe, but every great performance in a biopic has one thing in common: they not only inhabit the spirit of the deceased, they look like them enough to pull it off. My fear is the film is going to be like Walk the Line: great film and a good performance in the lead, but it still would look like Depp (or DiCaprio) as Sinatra as opposed to someone crossing that barrier.
It’s what I enjoyed most about Notorious; Jamal Woolard looked enough like Notorious B.I.G and was quite good in it that you could withdraw that suspension of disbelief. The film may not have been the strongest, but the film’s flaws weren’t from Woolard. A film about Sinatra needs someone like that and my worry is that Scorsese will craft a great biopic that people will rightfully praise but it won’t be a great film because of the lead.
A Movie A Week – The Challenge
This Week’s Film – Action Jackson
The ‘80s were a much simpler time. Reagan ruled the roost, we hated the Soviets and not just anyone could be an action star. One of the things that’s annoying about action heroes nowadays is that any pansy can be an action star. 20 years ago, all you needed was a massive amount of steroids and a bit part in an action movie. From there, you too could be an action star. Case in point: Carl Weathers.
After coming to fame as Apollo Creed in Rocky, Weathers managed to carve out a career starring in several action films behind other established stars. Probably just as famous for Predator (headlined by Arnold Schwarzenegger) and Force 10 from Navarone (headlined by Harrison Ford), his later career also featured a shockingly hilarious cameo in Happy Gilmore. But for a while, Weathers almost became an action star of his own right.
As Sgt. Jericho Jackson, Weathers stars as a Detroit cop trying to bring down Dellaplane (Craig T Nelson). A respected businessman, Jackson knows he’s a crook and spends the entire film trying to bring him to justice. But not before shagging Mrs. Dellaplane (Sharon Stone, when she was still smoking hot) and Dellaplane’s mistress (Vanity). Jackson graduated from Harvard Law but wants to bring JUSTICE to everyone, getting the nickname “Action” as a result of the largesse of his heroism.
What makes Action Jackson an interesting film is just HOW close it gets to being a Blaxpoitation flick without actually being one. This is a film that actually had a decent budget and doesn’t totally cross that line, but gets quite close many times. It’s predictable and so cliché it’s almost a self parody, but it’s such good fun that it’s an amusing watch of sorts.
Mild recommendation.
What Looks Good This Weekend, and I Don’t Mean the $2 Pints of Harps and community college girls with low standards at The Alumni Club
Terminator: Salvation – Christian Bale takes on the mantle of John Conner. It’s 2018, years after Judgment Day, and we’re launched into the middle of the war of man and machine.
See It – As much as McG rightfully takes heat for making a ton of awful flicks, I like what he’s doing with the latest Terminator flick. He’s long stated that any film about the material can’t really be science fiction because of the era we live in. We live in an era with such crazy technology, and technology to come, that prophesizing the future of tech is tough. So his take on the series is that it’s really a war film with cool technology, and I think that’s why Bale signed on. If he didn’t think it’d be great I don’t think all the money in the world would’ve convinced him.
Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian – Ben Stiller and crew are back for wacky shenanigans.
See It – I thought the first was going to be awful and yet was surprised at how much I enjoyed it. Everyone from the first returns PLUS another handful of funny people jump into the fray. I think this could be the same, in that being much funnier than it looks.
Dance Flick – The Wayans make fun of dance movies.
Skip It – South Park made fun of the genre in a shorter, more intelligent manner several years back. “You got f’d in the a” is still one of my favorite episodes. You can watch it at South Park Studios for free. Do that instead of watching this; it’ll save you 10 bucks and get you 10 times more laughs in 1/3 of the time. This is a film that seems about five years too late in terms of release, but at least it’s not another Scary Movie. I give them credit for at least trying something else, albeit spoofing something that has fallen out of style. I’m thinking next they’ll throw in some Titanic jokes.
The Brothers Bloom – Adrien Brody and Mark Ruffalo try to con Rachel Weisz out of a whole mess of cash. Hijinks ensue.
Skip It – You can see the first 10 minutes online and it’s not impressive. Rian Johnson, who did Brick, is a director I think could be superb but Bloom doesn’t have that same “this is going to be awesome” vibe I got from Brick. My gut says this is going to be the sort of flick that people hate or people love, with no in between.
Do you have questions about movies, life, love, or Branigan’s Law? Shoot me an e-mail at Kubryk@Insidepulse.com and you could be featured in the next “Monday Morning Critic.” Include your name and hometown to improve your odds.
