Smack YOU! May 22nd 2009

Sorry for there being no column last week. I had a very busy weekend with some shows and training. This would have been up sooner if not for some unforseen technical issues with my Word Press account and a little thing called UFC Undisputed. I am very much in love with that game and it is threatening to consume my life for the foreseeable future. Anyhoo, to the show

We’re in Cincinnati, Ohio

Edge joins us to start, wearing a chequed shirt suggesting he may be off to cut some wood following the show tonight. He cuts the usual promo, he’s still champ, he’s still the face of Smackdown etc. he goes on to gloat about Judgment Day but is interrupted by Teddy Long who calls his PPV win an “atrocity”. I was hoping Gorilla Monsoon would rise from the grave and call it “a miscarriage of justice” but sadly that doesn’t happen. Long makes a Jeff/Edge rematch for Extreme Rules which Edge protests and then goes on to insult Jeff. Jeff Hardy joins us and suggests a match tonight where the winner gets to pick the stipulations for the Pay Per View. Edge isn’t happy with that but the fans are so Teddy makes it official. Edge Vs Jeff Hardy tonight, the winner picks the PPV stips!

Shelton Benjamin, Charlie Haas and Ricky Ortiz
Vs
John Morrison w/ babyface pop and Cryme Tyme w/ funky clothing

It’s weird seeing Morrison team with Cryme Tyme after years of feuding with each other. Morrison wants to start with Shelton but Shelton makes Ortiz start instead. Ortiz uses the power of the AFRO to get control but Morrison fights back with arm drags. Shad comes in, getting the verbal BJ from J.R., because he’s big and all. Cryme Tyme and Morrison work over Ortiz. JTG gets cut off for a moment but sends Haas outside leading to the faces clearing the ring as we take a break.

Commercial

Back with JTG getting worked on in the heel corner. Heels work the arm for a while until JTG fights his way to his corner to tease a tag but Haas doesn’t stop him in time meaning Morrison ends up getting a luke warm hot tag. That’s happened to me before in a match and it’s a real pain in the backside. Morrison runs wild anyway, hitting some really nice stuff. He’s becoming quite the babyface with his cool offence. Everyone ends up on the outside except for Haas and Morrison allowing Morrison to quickly finish Haas with the split legged corkscrew.

WINNERS – MORRISON AND CRYME TIME

** – Fun match except for the hot tag botch but they covered it well and the work otherwise was solid and entertaining.

Melina is being interviewed by Josh Matthews. She says he’s here on Smackdown to compete. Alicia Fox interrupts to bring a message from Michelle McCool that she’s going to beat her for the title. Melina has a message of her own to pass along and slaps Alicia. Oh yeah, you go girl!

Michelle McCool w/ Alicia Fox Vs Gail Kim – #1 Contendership for Women’s Title

Intense lock up to start. McCool unleashes some forearms but Kim fights back and sends her outside with an arm drag. Kim makes the mistake of following though and ends up taking a journey feet first into the ring post on the outside. Back inside, McCool works the knee. Huh? Improvise and work the ankle at least Michelle, good grief. Kim fights back with her Flying Dragon body scissors but McCool goes back to the leg to stop that. Gail drops McCool throat first on the top rope and gets a Neckbreaker for two. Kim heads up top but Alicia distracts her and takes a face full of ring post in return. The distraction allows McCool to crotch Kim on the top rope and demolish her with the Styles Clash for the win.

WINNER – MICHELLE MCCOOL

*1/2 – This was a pretty good match. McCool not improvising and working the part of the body the fans actually saw hit the post was pretty lousy though. It’s not like it would have affected the finish at all either, seeing as it was a bloody Styles Clash and not something logical like a leg submission.

Rey Mysterio is interviewed by J.R. thanks to the magic of the backstage camera. Rey says that he wants to move on following his victory over Jericho and build a legacy to match those of other Latino Intercontinental Champions such as Morales, Santana and Eddie Guerrero. J.R. asks why he wears a mask and Rey says it’s about tradition and he will never take it off (unless Eric Bischoff thinks it’s a good idea and Kevin Nash is prepared to job to him on live TV) NEVER. Good promo and Rey came across as very likeable.

Chris Jericho Vs CM Punk

Punk kicks away to start but Jericho slugs his way back. Punk dodges a cross body to the outside and sends Jericho spine first into the apron. Back inside, GTS is countered with elbows and Jericho pounds away on Punk like he stole his loverboy tapes. Back Suplex gets two and Jericho goes to the chin lock… of DOOM! Punk fights out and keeps trying to wear Jericho down with strikes. Punk goes for the springboard clothesline but Jericho dropkicks the ropes to counter sending Punk crashing down as we take a break.

Commercial

Back from the break with Jericho in control. Jericho tries a superplex but Punk fights him off and goes for a cross body from the top which Jericho counters to a pin for two. Jericho tries the bulldog but Punk shoves him into the corner and gets a knee to the back of the head. Jericho blocks the GTS again but Punk sets him up for it again from a tilt a whirl which is freaking awesome. Jericho still counters with The Walls but Punk counters that to a small package for two until Jericho counters THAT and goes to The Walls. Punk manages to make the ropes to break the hold and FINALLY nails Jericho with the GTS only to have Umaga run in with a strap for a DQ.

WINNER – CM PUNK

*** – Really good match with a lousy finish. Umaga kills Punk for something like the 4th or 5th week in a row before cutting a promo (?!?!?!) and challenging Punk to a Strap Match at Extreme Rules. Not a bad promo actually but Umaga should be killing people and screaming in Samoan, not cutting promos. I mean, I can accept that he speaks English, the character I mean, otherwise how would he get from show to show without a handler? But he should NOT cut promos. Hire Larry Sweeney if you want someone around to issue challenges and stuff.

Some guy with blond hair Vs R-Truth

I really wish I knew who this blond guy was but I just can’t remember his name. Dolph………something, maybe? Anyway, he wastes no time taking the fight to truth. Man, I wish I knew what his name was, if only he’d introduce himself or something. Truth fights out of a camel clutch and starts running wild. Flapjack sets up the leaping Yakuza Kick for two. Truth gets cut off heading up top and the blond fellow hits him with some sort of weird leaping Russian Leg Sweep for the clean win. Good on him! He looks like a pleasant young person to be around.

*1/4

Great Khali comes out, perhaps to congratulate this fine youngster on his hard fought victory but the young blond fellow quickly runs away.

A recap of the exhilarating Eve/Layla feud. Next week, they can finally stink up the joint in a match. I wish they gave this much time and back story to matches that could actually be good.

Edge is backstage with Teddy Long saying he will exterminate Jeff Hardy at Extreme Rules. Could this mean he was created by Davros and is actually a Dalek? Before that can be confirmed, Jericho joins the party and demands a match with Rey at Extreme Rules. Teddy says it’s already been signed and that it will be No Holds Barred.

Jeff Hardy Vs Edge – Winner Picks the Stipulations for Extreme Rules

Hot crowd for this. They feel each other out to start with Jeff getting the upper hand. Jeff is selling that his head still isn’t 100% following Judgment Day. Jeff out wrestles Edge, going to a side headlock. Edge gets a few shots to the head to establish Jeff’s weakness but Jeff fights back sending Edge into the corner. Jeff gets his corner Mule Kick but bangs the back of his head on impact and sells it like he’s dazed. Edge gets a boot to take over as we go to commercial.

Commercial

Back from the break with Edge working on Jeff’s head. Jeff is selling the injury very well. Jeff fights back with a Whisper in the Wind for two. Jeff gets some clotheslines and suplexes Edge to set up the Swanton but Edge rolls away. Jeff goes for the double leg drop to the mid section but Edge of course moves and Jeff bangs his head on the mat again. Edge keeps working Jeff’s head and goes to the second rope for something only to leap into a Jeff dropkick. Jeff sends Edge outside and follows with a vaulting body press. Back inside, Jeff gets the AHHHHHHHHH Leg Drop for two. Edge blocks the Twist of Fate and tries the Spear but Jeff counters that to a sunset flip for a near fall. Jeff goes for the Twist again but Edge counters to a backslide for two. Edge tries the Edgucation but Jeff counters to the Twist of Fate and heads up top for the Swanton. Edge crotches Jeff and goes for the top rope DDT again but Jeff shoves him off again and gets the Swanton for the win.

WINNER – JEFF HARDY

***1/2 – Great TV Main Event. I loved it. Good psychology and solid wrestling gives this a big thumbs up.

Jeff says he wants a ladder match and Edge isn’t pleased.

Great show this week. All the matches were fun and the main matches were very good TV matches. Thumbs up this week!

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