Pulse Wrestling’s Real-Time RAW Coverage – 06.01.09

Welcome Pulse Readers to tonight’s real-time coverage of WWE RAW! I’ll be here and on my Official Twitter Page all evening. You can follow me on Twitter by looking at my Twitter feed at the bottom of this live report.

Here is what is on tap for tonight’s RAW:

MVP v. Kofi Kingston for the United States Championship
Batista takes on either Cody Rhodes or Ted DiBiase inside a Steel Cage
John Cena teams up with a “randomly selected partner” to take on Big Show & The Miz
Mickie James & Kelly Kelly take on Maryse & Beth Phoenix

THE WORLD IS WATCHING SANTINO MARELLA!

Actually, they are watching Legacy inside the ring with a steel cage surrounding it.  Randy Orton reminds us that come Sunday he has a date with Batista inside the cage.  The fans think he should be worried, but they have no clue as to what they talk about.  Batista should be worried because Randy kicked him in the skull and made him miss Wrestlemania.  He’ll do much worse come Extreme Rules.  He knows Batista will want to prove Randy wrong and he will do so as he’ll be inside the cage tonight.  It’s as simple as heads or tails.  He flips the coin and it lands on heads, so it will be Cody Rhodes v. Batista tonight.  Cody Rhodes says that cage matches is in his blood and that he has no problem in softening him up for Randy.  Randy gives us a preview of Sunday by leaving the cage.

WOOOOOOO!  Ric Flair is here and he throws his sport jacket aside.  He struts around and Randy guesses that Ric is out here to tell Randy what Batista will do to him.  Ric comes out to call Randy a punk and he will call Randy out until he grows a set and face him one-on-one.  Ric says that he wants Orton in the parking lot tonight for a “fight to the finish”.  Randy Orton does accept and he says that it will be a night that Ric won’t be able to remember.

Commercials.

Looks like the cage match is up first.

Cody Rhodes v. Batista
Steel Cage Match

The bell sounds and Cody gets close to the door.  Cody tries to bash Batista against the cage and Batista isn’t budging.  He tries to escape, but no way.  DDT attempt is countered and Batista shows Cody the wrong side of the cage.  Batista thrusts away in the corner and Cody gets some life in him.  However, he gets thrown into the cage and speared off his boots.  Randy Orton walks down the ramp for the distraction.  Batista hits the spinebuster on Rhodes and he stares at Cody Rhodes.  Cody tries to escape, but Batista has him on his shoulders…BATISTA BOMB!  Pinfall is academic.

Winner: Batista
Grade: Meh…D-

Vickie Guerrero argues with the Big Show because he has a problem with the Miz.  Chavo tries to please the giant and Vickie has Big Show pick Cena’s partner and of “All of the RAW stars were in the bag”, Chavo Guerrero is picked.  Show threatens Chavo before he leaves.

Commercials.

Time for some diva action!

Kelly Kelly & Mickie James v. Maryse & Beth Phoenix

The bell rings and Maryse quickly leaves the ring, leaving Mickie and Beth to start off.  Low dropkick to Beth’s knees and Beth has trouble.  Tag to Kelly and Beth evades the double team.  She overpowers Kelly, but Kelly lands on her feet.  Pin attempt, but Beth kicks out and she plants her with a spinning backbreaker for two.  Maryse tags in and she wears short shorts.  She locks in a rear naked choke, but Kelly gets out of it.  Enzugiri by Kelly gets a no count.  Mickie flies on Beth with a Thez Press, eliminating Beth.  Rosa Mendez gets involved and Beth takes Mickie down.  Kelly takes care of Beth, but falls victim to Maryse’s DDT for the win.

Winners: Maryse & Beth Phoenix
Grade: C-

Commercials.

WWE Rewind: Cryme Tyme costs The World’s Greatest Tag Team a match on Superstars.

Carlito & Primo v. William Regal & Matt Hardy

I’m liking the Regal/Hardy pairing.  If they win tonight, they are #1 Contenders to the tag titles.  Primo starts off with Regal and Regal takes care of Primo in the early going.  Primo goes after Hardy, but Regal cuts him off.  Tag to Hardy and Hardy doesn’t want to do a double team move.  Hardy posts Primo and we go corner to corner for a tag.  Double team and Primo goes down with a double elbow.  Lateral press by Regal gets two and he works on the neck.  MC is dumb as hell since he thinks that Regal and Hardy never tagged before.  Does he watch his own commentary?

Tag to Hardy and he chokes Primo out in the corner.  Regal and Hardy keep the pressure on and Regal hits the Regalplex.  Tag to Hardy and he pins for two.  He drops the leg before he barely misses Primo.  Tag to Regal and Carlito gets in.  Regal goes to school and Carlito is the teacher.  Springboard elbow connects and Carlito gets a close two.  Hardy takes care of primo and Hardy uses the cast inadvertenly on Regal.  Backstabber by Carlito and the tag champs win!

Winners: Carlito & Primo
Grade: C- 

Regal is pissed off at Matt.

MVP v. Kofi Kingston later tonight!

Commercials.

Ric Flair waits out in the parking lot and Batista comes out to check on him.  Flair misses being in the ring and he wants one more run.  He wants Batista to let Ric be himself one more time.  He promises him to not be his hero, but to be his friend and BELIEVE!  They embrace and Batista leaves.

Meanwhile, Matt Hardy blames the loss on Regal.  Vickie asks why they keep want favors.  They give her a warm-up match with Santino tonight and they discuss sweet nothings in her ear.  She has her evil laugh on.

Cena walks and he stops by Chavo Guerrero.  He looks at him and he walks off.  Chavo says that he has his back. HA!

The Miz reminds us about being 6-0 over Cena.  The Miz is the IWC’s hero, comparing Cena to the Jonas’ Brothers, SpongeBob SquarePants, and Hannah Montana.  The match is NEXT!

Commercials.

The Miz & Big Show v. Chavo Guerrero & John Cena

Cena and Big Show start things off as Show forces Miz out of the ring.  Cena ducks a right and he hits the rights.  Side slam by Big Show and Cena is already reeling.  Gut punch and Show clubs him down.  Hard slam and Show isn’t breaking a sweat.  Headbutt connects and he goes for the Camel Clutch.  Cena counters to the STF, but he can’t lock it in.  Behind the ref’s back, Miz gets his licks in and Show threatens Miz again.  Cena gets back in the ring and Show throws him around.  Bodyslam attempt, but Show falls on Cena for two.  Show off the ropes and Miz tags himself in, pissing off Show.  The Miz works on Cena in the corner.  Knee lift connects and he tees off on Cena in the corner.  Cover and Cena kicks out at two.  Cena tries to fight back and he hits the shouldertackle.  Protobomb connects and he goes for some Five Knuckle Shuffle.  Show tags, but the ref didn’t see it.  Chockslam connects and Show is forced out.  He forces Miz to tag in and he doesn’t.  KO Punch connects. Chavo tags himself in and he covers the Miz for the win.

Winners: Chavo Guerrero & John Cena
Grade: C 

Post match, Cena takes Chavo out and he invites Show in the ring.  They trade off punches and Cena goes to the 2nd rope.  Show KO’s Cena and he locks on the Clutch.  Cena is out cold.

Commercials.

Josh Matthews is with MVP and Kofi Kingston.  MVP puts over Kofi and Kofi does the same.  When they talk about the title, everything is out the window.  The match is NEXT!

Kofi Kingston v. Montel Vontanious Porter
WWE United States Championship

The bell sounds and we’re off to the races.  They lock up and neither star gives.  Another lockup attempt and Kofi ducks.  We get a proper lockup and MVP has the advantage  Kofi rolls through, but MVP keeps the arm wringer on.  Kofi kicks out of the arm hold and he teases a roundhouse kick.  They jockey for position and Kofi gets the snapmare takeover.  MVP counters to a headscissors and Kofi gets out of it.  Backslide gets the first two count.  Kingston gets another two and he hits a dropkick!  He taunts MVP saying he was that close to winning the title.  It’s a stalemate as we take a break.

Commercials.

We’re back and MVP is in control following a missed springboard crossbody from Kofi during the break.  Waist lock by MVP and Kofi gets out of it.  Kofi leaps over MVP and he takes him down with an elbow.  He leaps and MVP goes to bomb him, but Kofi rolls him up for two.  Yakuza kick connects and Kingston kicks out at two.  MVP attempts to go Ballin’ and he gets two for it.  Pillar to post we go and Kingston sidesteps MVP and kicks him in the face.  To the top and MVP knocks him off the perch.  Superplex attempt by MVP and both men get the brunt of the move.  MVP landed hard on the neck.  Kingston goes for the rollup and another kickout.  They trade covers back and forth and none of them find the mark.  The clothesline does though, as both men went for it and they are down.  They deck it out but MVP sends Kofi to the ropes.  He bounces off and MVP hits a German with bridge for two!  REVERSE JAMICAN LEG SWEEP GETS A LONG TWO COUNT!  Dropkick by Kingston gets swatted away.  Playmaker is countered and so does the Trouble in Paradise.  Kofi goes on top of MVP but MVP gets Kofi down for one…REVERSAL!  Kofi gets the three!

Winner and NEW United States Champion: Kofi Kingston
Grade: A

MVP hands Kofi Kingston the title and he leaves the ring to let him celebrate. I want a rematch and I want it soon!

Randy Orton is asked by Ted why he is doing this.  Ted tries to talk Randy out of this, but Randy says that he is in perfect control.  Ted has his doubts.  Time for our Intergender match and Vickie Guerrero comes out to the ring with a couple buckets of slop.  Oh God…

Commercials.

WWE Slam of the Week: Mickie James pins Beth Phoenix and Santino declares a Hog Pen match for Extreme Rules.

Vickie Guerrero is in the ring waving at the people.

Vickie Guerrero v. Santino Marella

The bell rings and Vickie plays keep-away.  Santino picks a bucket of slop up and he stares at Vickie.  Regal and Matt come charging in the ring and Santino hits them with the slop.  Santino gets his ass kicked by Regal and Hardy.  Regalplex connects and Hardy hits Santino with the cast.  Santino is lying motionless in the ring and Vickie picks the other bucket of slop up.  She pours the slop on Santino.

Result: No Match

Meanwhile, Ric still waits in the parking lot.

Commercials.

Jerry Lawler & Michael Cole is in the ring pimping Extreme Rules this coming Sunday.

Randy Orton walks to confront Ric Flair…NEXT!

Commercials.

We’re back and Randy Orton is in the parking lot.  He hops over the rail and he tries to find Flair.  Noises are heard and sneaks up behind him.  He rips the shirt off Orton and he beats the holy hell out of him.  Orton bies some time and he gets sent into the railing.  Orton comes back and he sends Flair through the luggage cases.  Orton lands on a rolling cart and he crashes into the catering table.  Orton has a nice blemish on his face and he runs away from Flair.  They go behind the curtain and it’s dark.  Flair gets dragged out to ringside.  Flair gets bashed against the railing and Orton steps on his face.  Flair fights back, but Orton sends him on the steel ramp.  Vintage Orton, stomping all over Flair’s prone body.  Orton mounts Flair and he beats the hell out of Flair.  Orton looks to throw Flair off the stage, but Flair stops himself and he kicks Orton in the nuts.  Stiff kick to Orton and he’s walking him dry.  Knifeedge chops connect and Orton is reeling.  He stretches the face and he beats into Orton.  Flair sends Orton into the steel cage, which is still in place.  Orton is bloodied and Flair continues to chop Orton.  The announcer’s table goes to shambles and Flair sends Orton into the cage.  The table is cleared off and he chops Orton on the table.  Flair gets on the table and he takes out the leg.  Figure Four is locked in on the announce table!  DiBiase & Rhodes come in for the save and they take Flair apart.  Flair gets sent back first into the cage and they bring Flair inside the cage.  They hit a double suplex and they continue to take Flair out with Orton calling the shots.  Orton gets in the cage and he gets his shots in.  He orders Legacy out of the cage and they lock Orton and Flair inside the cage.  Batista comes out and he chases Legacy out and he tries to get the cage door open and he can’t.  So what does Batista do?  He tries to scale the cage, but Flair gets downed with the RKO.  Batista vows to break Orton’s neck come Sunday.  Orton looks for the punt and the camera shot shows that Orton barely nicked Flair.  Flair sells it like a champ and Batista gives Orton an evil look.  Hell will be unleashed Sunday at Extreme Rules!

Show Over.

The WWE RAW Report Card

Vickie Guerrero & Santino Marella never happened: N/A
Kofi Kingston d. MVP: A
Chavo Guerrero & John Cena d. The Miz & Big Show: C
Carlito & Primo d. William Regal & Matt Hardy: C-
Maryse & Beth Phoenix d. Mickie James & Kelly Kelly: C-
Batista d. Cody Rhodes: D-
The Brawl between Flair & Orton: A- (Extra Credit)

The Final Grade for WWE RAW for 06.01.09: C/B-

This week was better than the last few shows.  We had a great U.S. Title match and I can’t complain about the Flair/Orton brawl.  The WWE Title picture becomes more interesting as we head to Sunday.  RAW gets a passable grade this week.  Thanks for keeping it to the Pulse tonight and I’ll sneak up 10 Thoughts on Superstars from last week on Tuesday as I slowly get back on the ball.  Have a great week!