Pulse Wrestling’s WWE Extreme Rules Report

Kofi Kingston (c) vs. MVP vs. William Regal vs. Matt Hardy – Fatal 4-Way – US Championship
Regal & Hardy start some sort of an alliance, however Regal tosses Matt into MVP & Kofi. Matt wiggles out, and stays on the outside for a while. The other 3 attempt a Tower of Doom, and all 3 are down, so Matt comes in and tries to pin each of them separately. Matt hits a Side Effect on Regal, then hits the 2nd rope leg drop on MVP. He goes for a ToF on MVP, but Kofi makes the save. Kofi is on fire, takes out all 3 men! MVP runs in and hits Kofi with a Drive-By. MVP hits Matt with a BALLIN’ elbow drop, but Regal makes his way in, and clears out the ring sending Matt & MVP to the floor. He goes to toss out Kofi, but Kofi blocks it, and hits Regal with Trouble in Paradise for the pin.
Winner – Kofi Kingston

Josh Matthews asks Big Show what his strategy is for tonight’s match with Cena. Show says that he will embarrass Cena, and he will do worse then the spotlight.

Todd & JR recap the Mysterio/Jericho feud.

Jericho’s music hits, but Jericho does not come out. Over the PA, Jericho says to cut the music, and they show him on the tron next to a merchandise stand, calling Mysterio a hypocrite for having WWE sell his masks. He then cuts another awesome promo on how hypocritical the fans are. He says that everyone who bought a Mysterio mask will have them out-dated tonight when he gets his masked ripped off.

Rey Mysterio (c) vs. Chris Jericho – No Holds Barred Match – Intercontinental Title
Mysterio attacks Jericho to start. They quickly fall to the outside, and then Mysterio drop kicks the steps into Jericho’s legs. Jericho is on the apron, and Mysterio hits a 619 around the ringpost, sending Jericho back to the floor. Back in the ring, Mysterio hits a springboard leg drop for 2. Mysterio goes for a normal 619, but Jericho pops out and they hit each other shoulder to shoulder. Mysterio goes for a sunset flip on Jericho, but has to roll out of it, and then goes for a dropkick, but Jericho catches it and goes for a Walls, but Mysterio rolls through and gets a 2 on a roll up. Jericho up quick, and he cinches in an arm lock, and then goes for Mysterio’s mask! We get a pretty good look at most of Mysterio’s face before Mysterio gets out of it. Mysterio sends Jericho to the floor, and then hits a Suicide Dive! Back in the ring, Mysterio hits a 619 to the back of Jericho’s head, and then Mysterio goes for a springboard splash, but Jericho is up and he takes the diving Mysterio into the Codebreaker! Jericho is slow to cover and only gets 2. Jericho brings a chair into the ring, but Mysterio quickly dropkicks it back into Jericho’s face, and then hits an Arabian Facebuster for 2! Mysterio goes for ANOTHER 619, but as he hits the ropes, Jericho tears off his mask!!! Mysterio freaks out and hides his face, and Jericho rolls him up for the pin!
Winner – Jericho

Matthew is with Batista. They show highlights of the Flair/Orton stuff from Monday. Batista is angry. He says that he will destroy Orton tonight.

Umanga vs. CM Punk – Samoan Strap Match
So, a Samoan Strap Match is just like every strap match, where you need need to hit all 4 of the corners in succession. Also, just like all other strap matches, this is boring and slow. They take turns going back and forth, and sending each other to the floor, and many times either Punk or Umaga hit only 3 turnbuckles. The end is pretty good, Punk hits 3 turnbuckles, but when Umaga charges at him with a Samoan Spike, Punk lifts him up and hits the GTS, and then falls into the last turnbuckle for the win.
Winner – CM Punk

Helms is with Christian. He says that he is friends with Dreamer, and he will miss riding up and down the road with him, and miss making fun of Dreamer when he takes his shirt off. Dreamer comes in and they give into a bit of a tiff, but when Swagger comes in to interrupt, Dreamer and Christian leave.

Christian (c) vs. Jack Swagger vs. Tommy Dreamer – Hardcore Rules Triple Threat – ECW Championship
Christian & Dreamer double-team Swagger for a bit, but then Dreamer goes under the ring and pulls out a slew of weapons including Singapore canes (which Striker calls Singapore Sticks), trash cans with lids, crutches and more. Dreamer then hits a cannonball off the apron on both Swagger and Christian with a trash can on his back! Dreamer puts Swagger in the Tree of Woe, and puts a trash can in front of his face, then goes for a dropkick, but Christian trips him up, and does the dropkick himself. Dreamer with a Singapore cane goes after Swagger, but Swagger catches it and hits Dreamer with a hits a suplex. Swagger lines up a bunch of trash cans, and goes for a SUPERplex on Dreamer, which Christian comes in and helps. Swagger goes for a Gut Wrench, but Dreamer hits Swagger with a crutch, Swagger drops Christian, and Dreamer hits the DDT for the pin.
Winner and NEW Champ – Tommy Dreamer

Recap of Miss WM nonsense.

Lawler is in the Hog Pen explaining the rules. Basically it’s a regular match, in mud.

Vickie Guerrero (c) (w/ Chavo Guerrero) vs. Santina Marella – Hog Pen Match – Miss WrestleMania
Vickie changes the rules, and makes it a Handicap match, with Chavo being her partner. Santina has Vickie cornered with a bucket of slop, but Chavo makes the save, and goes to slop Santina, only for Santina to duck and Chavo’s slop hits Vickie. Santina then dumps slop over Chavo’s head and punches the bucket in his face. Vickie tries to run away, but Santina pulls her down and pins her to win the Miss WrestleMania crown.
Winner – Santina

Recap of the Orton/Batista feud.

They show Vickie & Chavo walking backstage. They run into Goldust & Hornswoggle, and Goldust, who magically has his turrets back, says that Vickie smells like shit..shit..shitake mushrooms. She goes into Vickie’s office, and Edge needs to go over plans for tonight’s ladder match. Vickie says that it’s always about Edge, and that she won’t help him tonight. Edge says that she better find a good divorce lawyer, because they are through.

Randy Orton (c) vs. Batista – Steel Cage Match – WWE Championship
Orton tries to climb out right away, but Batista pulls him back in by his head. Batista bounces Orton around the ring, but Orton slides away and tries to get out the door a few times, only for Batista to pull him right back in. Batista goes for the Demon Bomb, but Orton back body drops Batista into the cage. Orton drop kicks Batista back into the cage again. Batista is out on the mat, and Orton goes get out of the cage, but sees Batista getting up, and he gets down and goes for the punt, but Batista moves, Orton goes for a RKO, but Batista shoves out, kick to the gut, Demon Bomb, pin.
Winner – Batista

Recap of Show/Cena feud.

The Big Show vs. John Cena – Submission Match
This match is as slow and boring as last month. Cena constantly attempting to go for the STFU, but Show is way too big. Show beats Cena around, and hits a KO punch, sending Cena to the floor. Show goes to run Cena into the post on the floor, but Cena slides off Show’s shoulder and shoves Show into the post. Then he rolls him back in the ring, but catches Show’s leg in the ring ropes and locks on the STFU with help from ropes, and Show taps out.
Winner – John Cena

Recap of Edge/Jeff Hardy feud.

Edge (c) vs. Jeff Hardy – Ladder Match – World Heavyweight Championship
There are ladders all over the ringside area, just like they had set up on SmackDown a few days ago. Some scraping back and forth to start, Edge goes to get a ladder, but Jeff baseball slides out of the ring, and the ladder hits Edge. Jeff props the ladder on the apron, and slides Edge back in the ring, only to back body drop Edge over the top rope, across the ladder. Jeff climbs a ladder, but Edge comes in and knocks Jeff off, and Jeff falls badly. Edge pulls another ladder in the ring, and props it in the corner, and then whips Jeff into it, and then tries to follow it with a spear, but Jeff moves. Jeff puts the ladder in front of Edge in the corner, and then Jeff mule kicks the ladder into Edge. Jeff tries to get greedy, and charges the ladder again, but Edge hits Jeff with it, and then puts Jeff in the ladder on the mat, and locks on the sharpshooter! Edge sends Jeff to the floor, and climbs a ladder, only for Jeff to hit a dropkick off the top rope, knocking down the ladder. Jeff sets a ladder up, upside down, so that the middle brackets are exposed, and Jeff lifts Edge up, and puts him gut first on the metal brackets! Jeff gets a HUGE ladder out, and puts it in the corner, and it looks like Jeff is going to try and hit a leg drop off it, however Edge rolls out of the way, and Jeff leans the ladder over, and reaches for the belt, and catches the rope as the ladder falls down. Edge comes over, however, and pulls Jeff down across the ladder. Outside, Edge sets a large ladder across the apron and the retaining wall. Jeff comes back and lays Edge over the ladder, and climbs a large ladder on the floor, but Edge climbs up next to him, and they tip the ladder over, and both men fall through the ladder! They slowly climb back into the ring, and Jeff climbs a ladder set up under the belt, and Edge climbs a ladder in the corner, and comes off with a Spear, but Hardy catches him with a Twist of Fate!! Both men are slow to get up again. Jeff up first, goes up the ladder, he has the title on his fingertips, but Edge climbs up, and clubs Jeff, who then falls to the mat. Jeff goes under the ladder, and pulls Edge’s feet through the rungs! He pulls Edge all the way through, and now Edge is up to his shoulders, and can’t move!! Jeff climbs the other side, and pulls down the title!!!
Winner and New World Champion – Jeff Hardy!!

JR gets in the ring to interview Jeff, but then CM PUNK’S music hits!!! Punk is coming out to cash in Money in the Bank!!

Jeff Hardy (c) vs. CM Punk – World Heavyweight Championship
Punk immediately goes for & hits a GTS…but Jeff kicks out!!! Punk can’t believe it, and as he is stunned, Jeff rolls him up, only for 2. Punk leaps back up, and hits another GTS, this time Jeff stays down.
Winner and New World Champion – CM Punk!

Show Over.

~Pk