More Reasons Why Being Deaf Sucks/Rocks – Mos D, Eff You

Since I was off on Tuesday, and there was no way in hell I was going to go all the way down to Fells Point for just one disc, I planned on picking up Mos Def’s latest offering on Wednesday.

Little did I know that this modest plan would completely derail my night.

Initially I was going to grab the album before I went to work. I didn’t have to be in until 3pm and since I’m usually early, I figured I’d just take an even earlier bus, cop the disc from The Sound Garden and get to work on time.

Well, that plan was disrupted by a couple of things. Firstly, I needed to shave. I had a couple days worth of growth on both my face and my head, and while I’m a very lazy dude, sometimes you just want to look sharp.

Needless to say, shaving took longer than I had allotted for it. Still, there was a chance that I’d be able to make it out of the door and catch the bus that I was aiming for. In reality, however, not only did I not catch the bus I was aiming for, but the one that I usually catch was late. But that was fine, and I brushed it off.

One of the only silver linings of this bloody recession is that I get out of work earlier. Granted, it affects my paychecks, but that’s something for the me on payday to deal with; the lazy guy who has got a problem with authority and a general disdain for people does not mind getting cut early.

For my Plan B, I’d go to cop the CD after work, catch the bus to the store, restock on some supplies and make it back to the crib.

So I get cut around 8, which is good for the plan (but hell for the paycheck), and I take the trip to The Sound Garden. I’ve been broke for so long that my spirit is essentially broken. It used to kill me to go to The Sound Garden and not be able to drop triple digits on music and DVDs. Now, I barely have any longing whatsoever. It’s sad, really.

After the purchase is made, I get back to the Harbor close enough to when my bus is scheduled to be at my stop that I’m hopeful that I can catch it. No such luck.

To compound matters, I’m literally standing at the stop for an hour until the next one arrives. It’s about a quarter to ten. And, as if to add insult to injury, the bus is packed, so it’s standing room only. The things I do to bolster Mos Def’s first-week numbers.

I manage to finagle a seat about fifteen minutes before I need to get off and hit the store. The seat feels so good that I literally contemplate putting off the trip to the store. Hindsight 20/20… I should have.

But I didn’t. I get off the bus to go the store. My goal is to get what I need but not exceed a $50 budget. I’ve got restraint issues, particularly when it comes to grocery shopping, so I’ve got to set myself some limits. I also want to get out of the store in time to catch the next bus, which is due about 30 minutes later. It’s just past ten.

I hit the store, load up my basket responsibly and make my way to check out. There’s only one lane open and I’m fifth in line. There’s a very slim chance I’m going make the bus.

I accept that I can only do my best, so I get all of my stuff ready. I’ve got my discount card in hand and the card I’m going to pay with. I’m ready. Everything moves remarkably smoothly and I’m under $35. I’ve got a pinch of hope that I’ll be home before 11.

Making my way back to the bus stop, I can see that a bus is approaching. It could be the one I want or it could be another route. It’s mine and it’s speeding. It’s speeding like the driver is running late. It’s speeding like it’s practically empty and it hasn’t had to stop for the past few stops. It’s speeding. Right. Past. Me.

I’m irked not just because the bus didn’t stop, but also because I was literally five feet into the street and the bus was inches away from hitting me as it zoomed past. Clearly I was trying to catch it, and clearly the driver ignored me.

It’s another 45 minutes before the next bus comes. That’s long enough for me to contemplate exactly how broke and over-budget I am (despite my remarkable grocery shopping skills), realize that I’m hungry and accept the fact that despite getting cut shortly after 8, I won’t be getting home until shortly before tomorrow.

The Ecstatic had better be Mos’ best.

What the…?! This bloody thing doesn’t even have production credits!

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