ECW Real-Time Coverage for 6/30/2009

Welcome to the EC-Dub!


Well, we’ve lost some big players in ECW.  Jack Swagger, Mark Henry, Evan Bourne, The Hart Dynasty and Finlay have all left for other brands.  In return, we’ve gotten the Bella Twins, Goldust, William Regal and Shelton Benjamin.  Doesn’t seem fair, does it?  Oh yeah, we have a tag team match tonight.  It’s Tommy Dreamer and Christian vs. Vladimir Kozlov and William Regal.  On with the show!


GM Tiffany is in the ring.  Apparantly she is no longer interim.  She ushers in a new era of ECW.  She talks about the trade orchestrated by Trump and says we lost some great superstars but also gained some  (see above).  She says the New Superstars Initiative is in effect. She says let’s start the show.


Your hosts are Josh Matthews and Matt Striker.


New ECW member Shelton Benjamin heads to the ring.  His opponent is Yoshi Tatsu, a member of the New Superstar Initiative.  His music belongs in Mario Brothers.


Shelton has the mic and says “Yoshi-san Gold Standard.  You pick wrong night to come here”  His accent is racist as can be.  He tells Tatsu to stand back or he’ll call Godzilla.


Shelton Benjamin vs. Yoshi Tatsu

The bell rings and Shelton bows to the audience.  Crane stance from Benjamin and this is actually getting funny.  Sumo stomps.  Tatsu looks on in befuddlement.  Another bow and Tatsu kicks him in the head and pins him for the 3 count.

Winner: Yoshi Tatsu 

Postmatch, Tatsu bows to the unconscious Benjamin.  Seriously, his music is bad.


Backstage, Abraham Washington is headed to the ring for a talk show with the Bella twins.  Can’t wait for that.




We’re back and Abraham Washington is welcomed to his first ECW show.  He comes out and there a chair and a couch in the ring.  He takes the mic and welcomes everyone to the Abraham Washington Show.  He is the host.  Before the first guest, he wants to talk about the WWE Universe.  He says the Bash was off the hook.  The 3 stages of hell was pretty tight.  He hasn’t seen that much pain and brutality since seeing Paris Hilton in a spelling bee.  McMahon bought Raw for twice the money.  That was pretty dumb.  A financial disaster.  Speaking of which, 12 Rounds came out on DVD today.  He’s as good as Leno.  The Miz should appreciate that joke but he’s probably not feeling well after getting beat twice this week by Cena.  Speaking of twice, let’s bring out the Bella Twins.  Here they come.  I don’t know which is which.  I don’t care, really. 

They are in the ring and Washington tells them he isn’t OJ so they can relax.  Brie and Nikki introduce themselves.  Washington brings out some cards with questions.  Have you always looked alike?  Just Kidding.  How much money do you spend on your weave in a year?  Twins say they are natural.  The lie detector is going off!  Washington knows synthetic when he sees it.  He’s just joking again.  They are beautiful, strong and sexy.  They were considered by SI to be the sexiest twins in sports.  They are the first twin Divas in WWE.  What makes you different?  Who is youngest?  One says younger by 16 minutes.  Who is smarter?  The other says she is.  I forget who is who.  The twins are getting annoyed with one another.  Who is the better athlete?  They both say they are.  They fight about it.  Nikki (got it!) says she is better at everything.  Brie says she is better at keeping a boyfriend.  They fight some more.  Washington calls for some litter cause there’s a catfight.  The twins argue as they leave the ring.


Washington was kind of entertaining but the Bella twins brought the segment to a halt.




New music plays and a new wrestler heads to the ring.  His name is Shaemus.  Oliver John is already in the ring.


Shaemus vs. Oliver John

Shaemus was speaking Gaelic and he is here to change the thought that the Celtic way is dead.  He is here to claim ECW.  The bell rings.  Head toss from Shaemus.  Lock up and Shaemus hammers him down.  Blows to the head and a hard irish whip to the corner.  He hammers John to the ground again.  He puts a Cobra Clutch looking hold on John.  John tries to get up but Shaemus throws him back down.  Another irish whip to the corner and a spear to the back.  Head to the turnbuckle.  John tries to fight out of the corner and mounts some offense.  Shaemus reverses an irish whip and hits the big boot.  Sick looking backbreaker that is obviously Shaemus’ finishing move. 1,2,3.


Winner: Shaemus

He kinda looks like Rik from the Young Ones.  Anyone else remember that show?


Regal is in the back with Kozlov.  He knows Kozlov doesn’t speak very good English but Regal doesn’t want to be embarrassed tonight.  Kozlov says “Embarrass you, I got it.”  A face turn for Kozlov?


Commercial break.


We’re back.  Zack Ryder is in the back WhooWhooWhoo.  Some dude comes back and says he likes Ryder’s style.  His name is Tyler Rex (I think).  He’s wrestling Ryder this Thursday on Superstars.


Raw Rebound time.  I hope Jack Swagger really hits it big time on the flagship show.


Christian and Dreamer are in the back getting ready for their match.  Dreamer wants to know what’s wrong with Christian.  Christian says this arena is where he returned to WWE.  He promised them he would be ECW champ and he’s not it right now.  Dreamer says Christian’s timing is terrible.




Kozlov’s music plays and here he comes.  He’s got new ring attire.  Russian red.  William Regal follows.  He is Striker’s personal favorite.  Our ECW Champ Tommy Dreamer is next and finally Christian.


Vladimir Kozlov and William Regal vs. Tommy Dreamer and Christian

Bell rins and Christian and Regal start things out.  Regal with a wrist lock.  Christian reverses.  Move to a side headlock.  Regal sends him to the ropes and hits a shoulder block but neither man goes down.  Hip toss by Christian.  Cover for two.  Side headlock from Christian.  Regal powers to the corner and hits a shoulder block.  Regal in control.  He tags Kozlov.  Kozlov misses the clothesline and Christian unloads.  This goes on for a bit then Kozlov gets mad and shoulder blocks Christian to the ground.  He picks him up in a modified Rack.  Christian finally reverses and gets the tag.  Dreamer in and immediately manhandled by Kozlov.  Kozlov gets kicked going for a back body drop.  Kozlov sends Dreamer to the ropes and gets body pressed!  Both men are up and Kozlov goes for a clothesline but Dreamer pulls down the ropes and Kozlov gets dumped.  Christian gets tagged in and hits the baseball slide as Kozlov tried to get back in the ring.  Christian goes to the top turnbuckle but Regal protects Kozlov as we go to…




We’re back and Regal is in control.  He distracts the ref and Kozlov lands a big shot on Dreamer.  Regal tags Kozlov in.  He hits 3 elbow drops.  Cover for 1.  Tags in Regal.  Regal with an uppercut.  Dreamer fights back but Regal sends him back down.  Dreamer gets away and tags in Christian.  Christian unloads on Regal.  Off the second rope with a missile dropkick.  Cover for two.  Christian sends Kozlov to the ring and hits the springboard sunset flip for two.  Christian gets his arm draped over the rope and Kozlov gets tagged in.  He works on the injured arm/shoulder.  Regal tags in.  Knee drop on the arm.  Wristlock.  Another tag.  Kozlov gets an armbar locked in.  Christian starts to fight back but Kozlov hits him with the headbutts to the chest.  Belly to belly suplex and a cover for two.  Regal back in.  Armdrag down and another knee drop on the arm.  A “Regal sucks” chant starts.  Christian sends Regal to the corner but Regal stops his momentum, turns around and the knock heads.  Christian up and tags in Dreamer as Kozlov is tagged in as well.  Dreamer with offense on Kozlov.  Clothesline from the second rope.  Cover for two.  Regal gets in the ring and Christian takes him out.  Dreamer signals for the DDT but it’s reversed by Kozlov.  Dreamer hits a neckbreaker and covers for two.  Regal send Christian into the steel steps on the outside.  Kozlov gets sent into his corner and Regal tags himself in.  Dreamer rolls him up for a two count.  Dreamer sends him to the corner and runs in after him.  Regal moves and Dreamer shoulderblocks the steel post.  Exploder suplex!  Regal is setting him up for the knee to the head but Kozlov slaps Regal’s back to tag himself in.  Regal looks upset and Kozlov hits his modified choke slam. 1,2,3!


Winners: Vladimir Kozlov and William Regal

Postmatch, Regal looks annoyed but eventually celebrates the win with Kozlov.  End of show.


Well, looks like we’re going to get a lot of new blood here in ECW.  Regal got some heat from the crowd which can only do wonders for him.  I’d like to see him get his shot at the ECW belt.  Well, goodnight kids.  See you next week.


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