Welcome back to Bon Temps. Population: Every crazy bastard you’ve ever dreamed of.
In Episode 2-03, Scratches, it seemed that everyone had come to their senses about whatever foolishness they were partaking of. Tara had decided to leave The Hedonism Spa and Lounge a.k.a. Mary Ann’s house. Jason was on the verge of discovering that he was in the midst of a cult and Lafayette was just glad to be back in the world of toilet paper and afghans that look like they were stolen from the set of Roseanne.
Of course, all that couldn’t last long because: how boring would that be? Plus, it would be out of character for most of these people to do anything that could remotely resemble common sense.
So, I think it’s safe to say that all characters are true to form throughout this episode. The episode begins as Jason Stackhouse returns to his Jesus Hates Vamps Camp cabin to find all his cabin mates dead, obviously slaughtered at the hands of those maniacal hillbilly vampires that everyone’s been talking so much smack about. Only not. Because Lukenator has perpetuated an epic fake-out on Jason and is really proud of himself. Dude. It’s Jason Stackhouse. He still believes in Santa Claus.
The most important thing about this episode is that Sookie, Bill and Jessica finally arrive in Dallas to find out what happened with Godric and discover the truth about the Terrorist group that Jason is being glamoured by. In Dallas, four important things happen:
1. Vampire Bill and Jessica arrive in travel coffins and I’m fairly certain that Spock was buried in one of these at one point. How they got it back to Earth is beyond me.
2.An attempt to kidnap Sookie is made by the driver of the limo waiting at the airport. However, this is thwarted when Vampire Bill pops out of his travel coffin like hot toast to put the smack down on the driver.
3.Bill allows Jessica to practice her glamouring skills on the driver. An act which solidifies her as the third best character on the show. The first being Eric. The second changes at will. It’s more of a placeholder than anything.
4.Sookie almost watches Vampire porn. Namely “Intercourse with the Vampire”. Someone should tell Sookie that if she wants porn, she should just watch the end of this episode.
Meanwhile, Jason continues to be sucked into the Light of Day terrorist cell. Mainly, it seems, because the vamp-hatin’ preacher’s wife wants to break commandments with him. And while this storyline tries to be interesting, it seems more like busy work to connect the Light of Day with what Sookie and Co. are dealing with in Dallas.
Perhaps the most frustrating and disappointing development is Tara’s inability to say no to Mary Ann one more time. Finally moving out from the House of Sin that is Mary Ann’s house, she makes her way to Sookie’s for her birthday only to find herself spending it alone – crying and feeling sorry for herself. And while Tara probably has more reason to feel sorry for herself than some people – I mean, after all, her mother is just a few brain cells short of being a zombie victim – her perpetual need to replace her mother in her life and be looked after by someone becomes a bit grating.
So, of course, when Mary Ann and her entourage show up at Sookie’s door with cake in hand, Tara, after initially be scared that she was about to be eaten by a daylight dwelling vampire, let’s them into Sookie’s house for an all-out birthday shindig. Oh, Tara. You moron.
The party begins innocently enough with presents from strangers (should we assume that Tara’s idiot mama never told her about taking candy from strangers?) and the average bullshit small talk that comes with entertaining. Until Mary Ann makes her way outside where she starts singing about someone named LoLo and does that thing where she swallows a quarter off-screen and turns on her inner Magic-Fingers.
Soon the party evaporates into an all-out heathen rave with people bathing in mashed potatoes and cake frosting, knocking the hell out of each other and fornicatin’ on the lawn. You know, like most parties in the rural South. Before long, Mary Ann is shapeshifting into that ugly Satan/Pumpkinhead hybrid from the last episode and Daphne lets Sam know that she knows that he’s a real dawg, I mean, dog. Cue the doggy-style jokes. Most importantly, Tara and Eggs get it on much to the maniacal delight of Mary Ann the troll witch.
The episode ends, just after Sookie almost watches her vampire porn, with Barry the Bellhop making his debut when he brings Jessica her room service. Which looks to be about six feet tall, blonde and dumber than Jason Stackhouse. As Sookie ruminates on how old the guy is and how pissed Bill will be, she realizes that Barry the Bellhop has the same ability that she has: the ability to hear others’ thoughts.
This episode was fun and a bit campier and sillier than expected considering it was one penned by Alan Ball. We’re left with hanging questions: what’s going to happen to Tara and why does her sexy time with Eggs get Mary Ann off when she’s not even in the room watching? And now that we know that the Light of Day cult/terrorist group is behind the attempted kidnapping of Sookie and, more than likely, the disappearance of Godric, what does this mean for Sookie as her brother becomes more entrenched with the madness of the cult? And what do the abilities of Barry the Bellhop mean for Sookie?
For those who haven’t read the books, we’re on edge and this episode made us lust for the answers to all these questions. For those who have read the books, this episode might have felt more like filler and time-wasting than actual progress. Either way, we’re invested. Hopefully, however, there’ll be more Eric in Episode 2-05.
Tags: True Blood