ECW Real-Time Coverage for 7/21/2009

Welcome to the EC-Dub!

 

We get to watch the Abraham Washington Show tonight.  Tommy Dreamer will talk to Christian about their championship match at Night of Champions.  Excitement is pouring through me.

 

Your hosts are Josh Matthews and Matt Striker from Richmond, VA.

 

We start off with Yoshi!  William Regal will apparently be his opponent.

 

Yoshi Tatsu vs. William Regal

Regal has a mic.  He tells Yoshi that he despises all foreigners.  Striker calls him xenophobic.  Nice vocabulary.  You suck chant starts on Regal.  Bell finally rings.  Lock up and Regal starts things off with an armbar.  Tatsu uses the ropes to reverse and we get an exchange of reversals ending with Regal getting tossed to the mat.  Another lock up and with some knees.  Back and forth for a bit but Regal gains control with a clothesline.  He hammers on Yoshi in the corner.  Uppercuts and punches from Regal.  Yoshi chant starts.  Full nelson from Regal.  Yoshi fights out but gets caught in an exploder suplex.  Cover for two.  Another Regal sucks chant.  Loud.  Yoshi fights back and runs into a big boot.  Regal with a chicken wing suplex (underhook suplex).  Cover for two.  Regal covers again for two.  Gets Yoshi in what looks like a cobra clutch.  Yoshi nails Regal in the head with a reverse kick.  Both men down.  Both men back up and Yoshi with chops and kicks.  Regal in the corner and gets knees to the head.  Yoshi rolls him in a weird hold and a kick to the back.  He goes to the top rope but Regal catches him and knocks him down. Regal goes for the big knee, misses, and Yoshi nails him with a kick to the head.  1,2,3!

 

Winner: Yoshi and the Mario music starts!  Good opening match but not a great ending.  It didn’t flow right for some reason.

 

 Commercials.

 

We’re back and Ezekiel Jackson is headed to the ring.  His opponent is already in the ring and it’s Mike Williams.

 

Ezekiel Jackson vs. Mike Williams

Bell rings and Jackson boots Mike in the head.  Clothesline.  Chokeslam looking move.  Cover for three.

 

Winner: Ezekiel Jackson  Vladimir Kozlov’s music hits and he’s headed to the ring.  This just got a little interesting.

 

Kozlov stares down Jackson and then picks up Mike Williams for no reason and hits the Iron Curtain which looks a lot like the chokeslam move Jackson uses.  Kozlov leaves.  Not as interesting as I was led to believe.

 

We go to a new segment called Ask the Divas.  More of my time wasted.  Oh my god this is painful.

 

Mercifully we go to commercial.

 

Goldust is in the ring.  He takes off his hair and Shelton Benjamin heads down the ramp.

 

Shelton Benjamin vs. Goldust

Match starts and Benjamin gets the early upperhand with knees and punches.  Goldust responds with a clothesline.  High knee from Goldust.  Spear in the corner and Goldust is in control.  Goes for the spear again and Benjamin moves.  Neckbreaker and a cover for two.  Shelton in control now.  Short clothesline.  Cover for two.  Neck wrench submission hold from Benjamin.  Goldust fighing out and whips Shelton to the corner.  He runs into an elbow but then scoop slams Benjamin.  Reverse atomic drop and bulldog from Goldust.  Cover for two.  Leg drop.  Cover for two.  Benjamin counters a punch with a backbreaker.  Cover for two.  Benjamin springs off the top and gets caught with an uppercut.  Goldust covers for two.  Goldust takes a breather next to the ropes and Benjamin flies over him and drapes Goldust’s neck across the top rope while falling outside.  He runs back in the ring and hits Paydirt for the win.

 

Winner: Shelton Benjamin  Actually a very entertaining match. 

 

Commercials.

 

Sheamus is in the back and making fun of Finlay and Hornswoggle on ECW.  He won’t dance around the ring.  He’ll make your heroes fall because he’s the Celtic Warrior.  Palest dude ever.

 

Gregory Helms interviews Paul Burchill.  Burchill calls Helms the mild mannered reporter.  Helms asks Burchill about his opponent Tyler Reks tonight.  Burchill gets interrupted by Goldust and his tourette’s.  Burchill confronts him and Goldust apologizes but accidently hits Burchill in the face while twitching in a fit.  Burchill tries to go after him but Katie Lea stops him and tells him to focus on his match.

 

Tyler Reks heads to the ring.

 

Commercial break.

 

Paul Burchill is next to walk the ramp.  Katie Lea looks superhot tonight.

 

Paul Burchill (w/ Katie Lea) vs. Tyler Reks

Bell rings and they lock up.  Burchill gets control first and sends Reks to the ropes.  Off his feet clothesline from Reks.  Big back drop from Reks.  He gets distracted by Katie Lea and Burchill knees him in the back.  Chinlock from Burchill.  Reks fights to his feet but gets sent to the corner.  Burchill runs into an elbow and Reks hits a springboard cross body.  Cover for two.  Burchill gains control with a Samoan drop.  Another chinlock.  Reks to his feet again but gets sent back down .  Knee drop from Burchill.  Cover for two.  Back to the chinlock.  Reks fighting again and they trade blows.  Reks gets the upper hand.  High impact offense from Reks.  He goes to the outside and springs off the top rope with a missile dropkick.  He gets a headlock on Burchill but gets suplexed for his trouble.  Burchill sizes him up and rushes at Reks only to get rolled up and pinned!

 

Winner: Tyler Reks Postmatch Burchill hammers Reks to the outside.  And that’s it.

 

Next is The Abraham Washington Show.  Can’t wait til the commercials are over.

 

We’re back and Abraham Washington comes out for his show.  It’s set up on the entrance ramp and not in the ring.  Washington thanks the crowd and gets booed.  He says due to the overwhelming support from last week, he’ll have two main event superstars on the show.  Did he have a show last week?  He welcomes Captain Charisma to the show.  Washington shakes his hand and Christian looked like he wanted no part of it.  (Shook anyway).  He then introduces Dreamer and makes some fat jokes at his expense.  Dreamer is in a suit.  He reluctantly shakes Washington’s hand as well.   More fat jokes from Washington some of which are funny.  Most are not.  Then an ugly joke directed at Christian.  Christian says Washington’s show is fit for public access and his jokes are from 1991.  Christian says that he and Dreamer are a great tag team mainly because Christian is the captain, speed, power and technician of the team.  Washington asks Dreamer what he brings to the tag team.  Dreamer responds “ECW championship”.   Christian blames his ECW championship loss on Jack Swagger.  Dreamer takes exception.  Washington interrupts to make more fat jokes at Dreamer’s expense.  Dreamer and Christian go at it and slap each other in the face.  Washington tells them to save it for Sunday.  They stare each other down and the show ends.

 

Awful show.  When your best match is Benjamin/Goldust and the Abraham Washington Show fills the main event slot you’re asking for crap ratings.  See you next week kids.