The show opens with a flashback to 1989. Henry tells Shawn that his teacher called to say that Shawn didn’t turn in his art assignment, and as a result, there will be a blank spot on the wall during open house. Shawn attests to having turned it in and proposes that it has been stolen. Henry hands a reluctant Shawn some art supplies and tells him to get cracking.
At the station, Lassiter and Chief Vick are interrupted by a boisterous Shawn and Gus. Shawn makes a crack about Lassiter’s curious haircut (“Is your hair starting its own cult?”) and asks Vick for an advance on their next case. Lassiter wonders aloud how Shawn has no money considering he has no possessions and no expenses. Shawn’s rebuttal is that he and Gus have an upcoming ski vacation planned. “It’s the middle of summer,” Vick sputters. “Where could you possibly go to ski?”
The scene cuts directly to a shot of the Canadian flag wafting in an icy breeze. Shawn and Gus are trudging through the snow on skis in Whistler, British Columbia. Shawn admits that only four hours into the trip, they have run out of money. He also confesses to using Gus’ credit card to pay for everything. It is casually revealed that Shawn is exclusively dating Abigail and considers himself to be off the market.
Meanwhile, Shawn recognizes a nearby skier that he has seen somewhere before. He racks his brain and identifies him as Pierre Despereaux, a face from Lassiter’s “Wall of Suspects.” He calls Lassiter (on a phone bearing the signature green Psych skin) and is informed that Despereaux is a dangerous art thief who has never been caught- not even by Lassiter, who has been trailing him relentlessly for six years. Lassiter reminds Shawn that he has no jurisdiction in Canada- “Or anywhere else, for that matter”- and urges him to back off. But Shawn has a no-fail plan, which is apparently to yell “Pierre!” and chase him on skis. Shawn and Gus careen down the hill and lose Pierre when he makes a quick turn.
At the Royal Canadian Mounted Police department, Shawn and Gus are talking to a nerdy officer named Robert Macintosh about their run-in with Pierre Despereaux. He pulls up his file and states that he is wanted all over the world for highbrow art heists. Shawn tells Robert that he is a psychic detective- like the guy from The Mentalist except that “That guy’s a fake.” Shawn convinces him by “reading” a few fellow officers, including the head of the department, who calls Lassiter and asks for his personal file on Despereaux for “Detective Spencer’s” use. Lassiter hits the roof and high-tails it to Whistler with Juliet, both of whom are regrettably unarmed.
Lassiter and Juliet meet up with Shawn at a crime scene where his psychic skills are clearly waning. A necklace worth $3.5 million (“Is that in American dollars?”) has been stolen, allegedly by Despereaux who is nowhere in site. Shawn leans out the window and sees a man hoisting himself up onto the roof. Shawn announces that the crime will be solved if they will quickly join him there. He and Gus reach the top to find Despereaux clad in a black padded base jumping suit. Shawn indicates to him that he’s about to be busted, but no one shows up to help them. Despereaux says that he’s going to his room and plunges off the side of the building. Seconds later, the RCMP squad shows up, but it is already too late.
Shawn and Gus decide to unwind in an upscale bistro that Gus deems curiously romantic, “sexy” even. They notice that Despereaux is there, and when approached, he tells them that he was looking for them. He warns the two that they are out of their league and that they will never catch him, as no one ever has. He goes so far as to write down his next moves on a card and hands it to Shawn. Shawn does the same on a cloth napkin that is immediately whisked away by an outraged member of the wait staff. When Shawn and Gus pause to coo over an elaborate dessert, Despereaux vanishes.
Shawn takes his information to the RCMP and shares it through a series of visions. They surround the yacht of a wealthy art collector whom Despereaux is expected to rob. Juliet and Shawn have an awkward conversation amidst the ambush and Juliet tells him that they can still talk- “just as friends.” A man walking on the dock is prematurely approached and proves not to be Despereaux. In the meantime, Despereaux has stolen the priceless Manet and replaced the painting with one of a clown.
While on a bizarrely romantic ride in a horse drawn carriage, Shawn laments to Gus about missing their chance to apprehend Despereaux. An uneasy Gus questions the nature of their vacation plans and soon realizes that Shawn had originally intended to take Abigail with him. Apparently Abigail had to miss the trip due to a teacher’s conference and Shawn took Gus as a back-up. Furious, Gus throws Shawn out of the carriage, as he ultimately financed the trip and subsequent ride, and Shawn is forced to walk the rest alone. He sees a hotel in the distance that Despereaux had been eyeing on the roof and suddenly knows where he is staying.
After several unsuccessful attempts, Shawn gets the key to Despereaux’s room and waits for him there in the dark, bragging to Gus on the phone that he is “like John Turturro in Miller’s Crossing.” Despereaux surprises him by turning on the lights and says that he always hated Miller’s Crossing because of the bloody murders. Shawn is spooked when Despereaux lists the merits of murder and notices that the pick up date on his dry cleaning tag is for Tuesday. The current day is Sunday. Despereaux threatens Shawn with a gun and says he will kill him, but not just yet, as he poses no threat. While packing his things as if to leave, he tells Shawn to beat it and Shawn obliges.
Lassiter and Juliette don’t buy Shawn’s visions of Despereaux sticking around and instead choose to stake out another lead on his whereabouts. Shawn returns to Robert at the RCMP and looks through a book that Robert has compiled of potential items for Despereaux to lift. Shawn sees a crown that Despereaux made a cloudy reference to and the two plot to ambush him there. At the museum where the crown is held, Shawn makes Gus dodge a series of lasers “C Zeta Jones style” even though they are inactive. When Shawn touches the case allegedly housing the crown, the alarm goes off and the two are surrounded by police.
Back at the RCMP station, Shawn and Gus sit wedged between two large criminals. An irritated Henry arrives and bails Shawn out. Shawn used Gus’ one phone call to vote for American Idol, so Henry is forced to post bail for Gus by credit card, as Gus’ has been maxed out. Macintosh tells the two that he has been fired for his part in the plot to catch Despereaux, and that the crown was gone when they opened the case. Shawn realizes that Despereaux already had the crown and that he never gets caught because “he doesn’t steal anything.”
Shawn locates Despereaux at a hangar and tells him that the jig is up. Shawn knows that Despereaux has never stolen anything because the owner of the merchandise always hands it over to him. More specifically, the gallery owner had the crown when he left the museum that night. Despereaux always made it look like theft but it was really just insurance fraud. Shawn states his disappointment in Despereaux for playing it like he’s Thomas Crown when he’s really just Remington Steele. Despereaux makes a move to kill him but is foiled by Juliet, Lassiter and the RCMP. Despereaux tells Shawn that he has always fantasized about escaping prison and is led away, but not before revealing that he has no idea who Lassiter is.
The episode ends with Juliet and Shawn taking a stroll along a dreamy bridge complete with sweet surprises, including an opera singer and a balloon man that Shawn had arranged in order to ensure the perfect date with Abigail. Juliet asks why Shawn would take her along considering their background and Shawn says that the theme doesn’t matter, as he refuses to feel awkward around her. Shawn tells her that the bridge was actually constructed by wolves and the scene fades out.
I’m not sure why this storyline was chosen as the season opener. It was indeed action-packed, and the setting was unusual, but it didn’t have enough of the show’s signature humor to sustain a new audience. Next week’s episode promises to be much more riveting, as the commercial described it as “the most scandalous episode of Psych yet.” I’ll be the judge next Friday night.
