Mutant Chronicles – Blu-ray Review

Blu-ray Reviews, Film, Reviews

Mutant-Chronicles_BD

This movie should really begin with the disclaimer: “Warning! Those who are not familiar with the Mutant Chronicles role-playing game, please leave now.” Or perhaps a little ten-page primer included with the DVD to give viewers a bit of background information needed to understand the movie, because, I have to say that coming in to this cold I felt pretty lost.

Sure, there was a helpful voiceover at the beginning which let me know that basically in the future nations no longer exist, replaced by monolithic mega-corporations who continually wage war against each other. It also informs us that at some point an alien ship landed in Europe, established a machine which mass-produced an army of evil mutants, and that those mutants were driven back by some guy I can’t remember and the machine sealed away.

But what it doesn’t explain is why the future looks like a steampunk version of World War I Europe right down to the trenches, or why computers don’t work, or why complex machinery has to be fueled by coal like an old transatlantic steamer ship. Or why, for that matter, John Malkovich agreed to play a bit part. That man either got an ungodly amount of money, or he’ll just work in anything.

So the basic plot is that during a battle between forces of rival mega-corps Capital and Bauhaus an errant shell from some kind of super cannon blew open the seal, releasing a wave of horrible mutants (who must have been waiting just under the seal considering how quickly they started pouring out) who promptly destroy both armies except for Thomas Jane and his comic-relief Latino buddy. Enter Ron Perlman, the head of an order of monks who are dedicated to keeping the seal closed. Perlman recruits soldiers from each of the rival mega-corps to form a ragtag infiltration unit to destroy the machine once and for all. It’s kind of like The Dirty Dozen except stupid.

As I said before, this movie is based on a tabletop role-playing game by the same title. The game was actually rather popular, spawning trading cards, video games, novels, and comic books, and the characters Mitch Hunter and Max Steiner are actually from a Super Nintendo game called Doom Troopers. The basic idea of the Mutant Chronicles universe is that in the future the Earth has been exploited so much that it is now a desert wasteland and humanity has fled to the other planets of the solar system. On a hitherto unknown tenth planet (the game debuted in 1993, so Pluto had yet to be demoted) humans find an alien citadel. Naturally they open it and in doing so also open a dimensional portal, allowing in the hoards of the Dark Legion. This invasion also triggered the Dark Symmetry, which rendered computer systems completely useless, which somehow lead to coal-fueled rocket ships.

None of this information is given in the movie, though, and while the whole premise is rather laughable, it would have gone a long way to help me understand what was going on. I spent a good portion of the movie wondering why humanity was suddenly thrown back to the level of the Industrial Revolution, why this spaceship landed on Earth, what the aliens hoped to accomplish with their mutant army (other than being jerks), and, well, I could go on.

I could have overlooked these problems had the rest of the movie been enjoyable, but honestly this was just bad. I suppose it could have been worse had there not been good actors like Ron Perlman and Thomas Jane (I’m not counting Malkovich considering he was on screen for a total of five minutes), but there’s only so much they could do with an awful script and ridiculous story.

And to make matters worse, this is yet another movie filmed entirely against a greenscreen, and the backgrounds look incredibly fake. Just like 300, the actors look completely disassociated from their environment, and it makes for a dreamlike mood which undercuts any potential drama. I find this technique highly distracting because it constantly reminds me that this is a movie, destroying any kind of immersion on my part. And I have to say that this being on Blu-ray only heightens the artificiality of the sets and the special effects. This is definitely one case where low definition is actually a good thing.

Overall I suppose I could have forgiven even the excessive use of greenscreen had the movie actually been fun to watch. Had there been some moments of camp, or even a few times when the movie displayed some kind of self-consciousness about the silliness of the plot then I would have been a much more enjoyable experience, but this movie takes itself entirely too seriously and that along with the other issues I’ve mentioned make this an incredibly mediocre film and not worth wasting your time on.


The movie was presented in 1080P High Definition 1.85:1 aspect ration with the audio in English 5.1 DTS-HD Master Audio, and the movie does look and sound great, which unfortunately is not a positive given the fakeness of the backgrounds, the lackluster visual effects, and the terrible dialogue.


Typically I comment on each individual extra feature, but there are so many here and they are so uninteresting I’m treating them collectively. There is almost four hours of extras here and on the whole they are overlong, boring, and rather uninformative. Like the movie, this is a waste of plastic.

Making of Mutant Chronicles: 1:47:00

Deleted Scenes: “Bottom Lift,” “Cottage 1,” “Cottage 2, “Passengers,” “Samuel/Corporate,” “Ship Captain”

Green Screen & Storyboard Corrections: “City Square,” “Machine End Sequence,” “Dorothy and Peter”
Promotional Teaser Short Film – Commentary with Director Simon Hunter: 7:15

Making of Promotional Teaser Short Film: 3:26

Interviews with Cast and Crew: Simon Hunter, Thomas Jane, Ron Perlman, Devon Aoki, John Malkovich, Benno Furmann, Sean Pertwee, Tom Wu, Anna Walton, Luis Echegaray, Tin Dennison & Peter La Terriere, Edward R. Pressman, Frederik Malmberg

HDNet: A Look at Mutant Chronicles: 4:41

Storyboards

Concept Art

Visual Effects: 2:47

Comic-Con Panel Q&A: 11:36

Webisodes: “Corporate Warfare,” “Devon Aoki,” “Ron Perlman,” “Thomas Jane,” “Luis Echegaray,” “Mutants,” “Anna Walton,” “Sean Pertwee,” “Beeno Furmann,” “John Malkovich,” “Tom Wu,” “The Architecture.”

Mutant Chronicles Trailer: 2:04


This movie isn’t worth the plastic it’s digitally encoded on, and it definitely isn’t worth the price of a Blu-ray disk. If you’re a fan of the Mutant Chronicles games and feel like you have to watch it, I’d recommend renting it; otherwise, not recommended.




Magnolia Films presents Mutant Chronicles. Directed by: Simon Hunter. Starring: Thomas Jane, Ron Perlman, Devon Aoki, Sean Pertwee, Benno Furmann, and John Malkovich. Written by: Philip Eisner. Running time: 101 minutes. Rating: R. Released on DVD: August 4, 2009. Available at Amazon.com