It’s weird. I don’t really share too much when it comes to my feelings. Sure, my face is expressive, so you can tell when I’m disgusted, in disbelief or irritated. Basically, I’ve got the emotional range and vocabulary of a P.I. in a film noir.
It’s sort of ironic because, generally speaking, I’m a great listener and offer sound advice. People have no problem sharing their problems with me, but I never reciprocate.
Unfortunately, for the past two weeks I’ve needed comforting. Years of suppression and repression have atrophied my emotional expressiveness to the point where, in times like these, I’m positively haunted.
But this time around I’ve managed to find some comfort in music. My best friend asked me to make a mix of songs of lament, to which I obliged. Listening to that sad mix didn’t really help my spirit, but it did allow me a bit of distraction.
The music that I chose to listen to was pretty much just Sufjan Stevens. I can’t really explain why his stuff seemed to synch up with my emotional state. Maybe it’s how lushly produced his albums are. Maybe it’s the balance of bombastic and quiet moments. I don’t know. But I do know that his albums have soothed me to sleep and allowed me to get some rest.
I’d also spent much of the last week soliciting and putting together mixes I’d promised. I’ve been sifting though my collection finding just the right songs. It’s kept me busy and my mind focusing on other things, and it’s also lifted the spirits a bit.
The icing on the cake was last night when my best friend commissioned a mix o’ optimism. It’s a really fun mix, full of light, airy songs bursting with hope and full of exuberant spirit—it’s got some fun TV theme songs and some “inside joke” songs. It allowed me to actually look forward to something, whereas for the past couple of weeks every day just seemed to bring more sadness. I’ll probably post the tracklisting in a future column.
The last two weeks have been tough, but it’s times like these when I’m really glad that I can find comfort in music.
