This is the place where we don’t hold back. This is where we’re going to explore many weird, unthinkable corners of the comics universe. It’s where the claws are out and the fangs are bloody. This is where the bitch lives. And, darling, she’s back in heat!
Craig Kyle and Christopher Yost’s X-Force is a book that was laughed at at first.
And why wouldn’t it? When a book is announced where all the members are lupines and/or have big ‘ole knives and claws, with their main objective being to cut people open, the tackiness of the whole thing is quite apparent. The best commentary I head on the cast back then? “The Lupine Avengers”, as someone called them!
Yet, strangely enough, Kyle and Yost pulled it off! Yes, it’s still kinda cheesy. Yes, at times there’s too much angst and the bloodbaths are gratuitous. But it’s also Marvel’s biggest guilty pleasure of the last years, big enough so that someone can proudly admit that he’s reading it (something we can’t say for sure about Rhulk. Bleargh.) Even the Lupine Aven—eeer, the team has been enriched with members that don’t just slash stuff, like Elixir and the Vanisher. But, with the exception of Domino, the team is still plauged with testosterone.
And no, X-23 doesn’t count, she’s a Wolverine clone for crissakes! It’s only a matter of time before she starts drinking beer and saying “bub”.
So here’s a short list of maybe-obscure X-Ladies that can bring some estrogen in the book:
1. Marrow
This 90’s reject from the lamented Kelly and Seagle runs on X-Men had great potential… she was soon disposed of when Claremont made his epic fail—uuum, return with “Revolution”. But really, what more is there to say about her?
She’s badass, she has a killing streak, her protruding bones serve as weapons and they can also retract in order to give her a proper sex appeal to appease the male readership. She’d fit right in there with the team!
Not to mention the road she’d pave for a multitude of “boner” jokes.
2. Boom Boom
Not only she already has ties to X-Forcers Domino, Warpath and the Vanisher, but she already had an important part in K&Y’s X-Force as a barely dressed damsel in distress. By keeping the same explosive wardrobe and her energy bombs at full display she’d be an ideal addition to a macho book like X-Force. If she could also keep her Nextwave attitude up, she’d give the title a much needed relief from all the usual angst.
3. Dead Girl
Not many people have read Milligan and Allred’s X-Force/X-Statix run. That was probably one of the reasons it got unceremoniously cancelled. Among the colorful character gallery that book had as an ensemble, Dead Girl was one of the least explored characters, but she had the most kick-ass power ever to make up for it!
She’s a woman whose mutant powers manifested after her death, making her practically unkillable (or simply undead?). This zombie-lady will recover from anything you throw at her at a much faster pace than that puny Wolverine guy, her hacked limbs able to slash, hit, kick and bite the enemy before they reattach themselves to her body. Also, she’s a corpse reader, which would come in handy for a team with a “kill first, ask questions later” mentality like X-Force. Dead Girl can always read the corpses after the bloodbath. Add to that her sardonic, cynical nature and her “whatevah” attidude when it comes to killing and she’s perfect for Kyle and Yost to use her… only downside those bloodthirsty writers won’t appreciate? They cannot kill her off…
4. Mystique
Anything I say for Mystique will do her no justice. You guys want a baddie in the team? Get rid of that glorified bus you call “Vanisher” and get her in the team! The readership would double up just to see whom on the team Mystique would stab in the back/ bang/ kill/ play mindgames with (in any possible order). Seeing how she seems to prefer girls yet Wolverine always had a certain charm over her, I think her and X-23 would be the next IT couple of Marvel. Move over, Emma and Scott!
5. Lois London
“Who the frell is Lois London”, you say? She’s one of the most legendary obscure x-characters that ever graced the pages of a comic book. She’s Alison Blaire’s younger sister from the Dazzler solo series back in the 80’s. What makes her so special?
Well, she debuted in the book as the long-lost half sister of the Dazzler, and stuck around long enough to burden her sister with her uselesness and get beaten up by legends like the still-villainous-then Rogue. Eventually she got her own mutant power, which never got properly explained apart from when she accidentally killed a hobo and a neighbor’s cat with it. Apparently her touch could make inorganic objects dissolve and actual living being get heart attacks and die. But we’ll just assume that her power is to “kill hobos and cats”.
So imagine her joining X-Force and killing things with a single touch and without bloodshed. Hm, Kyle and Yost won’t like that last one. Hey! But then Hepzibah can come visit her boyfriend Warpath and Lois gets to kill her, like the alien cat she is. Then we have all kinds of conflict and drama. Happy now?
