Pulse Wrestling’s WWE RAW Live Coverage – September 7, 2009
Live from Chicago, Illinois
Coverage brought to you by Paul Marshall EXCLUSIVELY for Pulse Wrestling
Howard Finkel gets the honor of introducing Bob Barker! Bob has his trademark microphone! He gets quite possibly the biggest reaction EVER on a wrestling program. He talks about how much fun we’re going to have tonight. We are going to begin with a pricing game. And here are our contestants.
Santino Marella
Jillian Hall
I.R.S.
Chris Jericho
Well, Jericho takes his sweet time getting to contestant’s row. Up for bid is the Best of SmackDown DVD. I’ll be nice…
Santino Marella: He thinks he’s on Wheel of Fortune. $1465
Jillian Hall: She sings. $75
I.R.S.: Does this include taxes? $50
Chris Jericho: *Uninterested* He leaves contestant’s row and gets face to face with Bob. He has something to explain to Bob and he wants him to show him some respect. He wants to be called Mr. Jericho. He says “1/2” so Bob gives him a $1 bid. Bob OWNS Jericho!
Actual retail price: $18.90.
Chris Jericho heads to the ring for a chance at a trip to Hawaii. He has to face someone…and he’s comin’.
Chris Jericho v. M.V.P.
The bell sounds and Jericho evades a headlock, but MVP takes him down. Jericho comes back with an arm wringer, but is reversed by MVP. To the ropes we go and Jericho takes MVP down. MVP gets up and he decks Jericho on the mat. Jericho responds with a headbutt and MVP takes him down with a drop toe hold. Off the ropes and Jericho sends MVP on the apron. Springboard dropkick and MVP moves. Break time!
Commercials.
We’re back and Jericho makes his comeback. He holds the ropes and sends MVP out of the ring. The fight spills to the outside, but for a moment as we go back in the ring. Pillar to post we go and MVP hits hard and Jericho goes for the cover for no count. This pisses Jericho off and he takes it out on MVP. Suplex countered to an inside cradle for two and Jericho comes back with a reverse clothesline for two. Jericho sure wants to go to Hawaii. MVP gets out of a headlock attempt and he schoolboy’s Jericho for two. Jericho misses the enzugiri and MVP hits a pair of lariats. To the corner and MVP has Jericho scouted. Off the ropes and MVP explodes with a clothesline for two. Kick to MVP and Jericho hits a bulldog. Lionsault attempt misses and MVP hits the jawbuster! MVP goes Ballin’, BUT JERICHO HITS THE WALLS! MVP reverses to an inside cradle for two. Yakuza kick to Jericho…TWO COUNT ONLY! MVP goes for the Playmaker and Jericho sends MVP to the corner. Codebreaker…BLOCKED! MVP bridges to a pin for the three!
Winner: MVP
Grade: B+
We recap last week’s RAW where the “fix” was in.
John Cena takes on Cody Rhodes tonight!
Commercials.
We’re back and we’re shilling Bob Barker’s book. I thought it was mandatory for DX to…as I type that, DX shows up. Bob invites DX to spin the big wheel but they want to spay or neuter Legacy. Shawn spins to face Chris Masters and Trips spins to face Randy Orton.
Commercials.
Sludge Slam: Never mind…I’m not reliving last week. FTS.
Chavo Guerrero is in the ring and Bob Barker has a special prize for Chavo Guerrero. If Chavo wins his match tonight, he’ll win a new car. He has to beat Evan Bourne, though.
Chavo Guerrero v. Evan Bourne
The bell rings and they lock up. We get a break, but Chavo antes up the pressure. Uppercut on Bourne and Chavo hangs Bourne up in the corner. Kick to the ribs gets a two count. Octopus Stretch is applied, but Chavo breaks the hold and he goes for an Exploder Suplex…only for Bourne to counter for a two count. Kick to the ribs by Chavo, but Bourne comes back with kicks to the legs. Hurrancurana by Bourne and he hits a flying lariat! Springboard kick by Bourne gets two only! Chavo fights off in the corner and he looks for a tornado DDT, but Bourne kicks Chavo in the mouth. Headscissors…BLOCKED! OUCH FOR BOURNE! Chavo covers for two. Chavo is feeling it and he goes for the Three Amigos! He walks with a limp and Hornswoggle shows up to my dismay with a super soaker. Chavo takes Hornswoggle out and Bourne rolls Chavo up for three.
Winner: Evan Bourne
Grade: C
Cena walks.
Commercials.
WWE Rewind: Randy Orton drops Dusty Rhodes with the RKO and Cody goes livid.
Before our next match, Cody Rhodes reminds us that he is a member of Legacy. He goes heel on his own father. He puts his career over his family and he believes that he made the right choice. He will prove that by making Cena tap out tonight. Tap out to what?
Cody Rhodes v. John Cena
We get a lock up, but Cena looks to end things quickly. Front face slam to Rhodes and we go to a commercial.
Commercial.
We’re back and Cena gets a one count on Rhodes. Rhodes backs to the corner and he makes a mistake. Bulldog by Cena gets two and Rhodes finds himself at home in the ropes. To the ropes we go and Cena makes Rhodes his bitch again and Cody leaves the ring. Cena gives chase and Rhodes makes him pay for it. Back inside and Rhodes goes on the attack. Rhodes tries something, but Cena goes belly-to-back on Rhodes. Cena runs to a boot and Rhodes hits a huge LARIAT for two. Rhodes tees off on Cena, but Cena has a boot for Rhodes. Rhodes goes for the leg and we get a Figure Four attempt, but Cena goes for the STF. Rhodes gets out of it and we get the Russian Leg Sweep! Cover for two. Rhodes attacks the arm and he takes Cena down again for two. Rhodes locked on what almost looked like a Kimura lock. Cena makes the move worthless, though. Cena runs into the turnbuckle and Rhodes utilizes the Fujiwara Armbar and I’m spinning in circles getting the names of these moves. Cena uses his strength to get Rhodes in the Attitude Adjustment. Rhodes gets out of it and he misses the dropkick. Shoulder tackle by Cena! Throwback! Cena is hurt, however. To the top for the Fameasser…NO! Rhodes locks on a Figure Four…NO! Cena applies an anklelock into a STF, but Orton runs interference. Cena hits the Attitude Adjustment on Rhodes anyway.
Winner: John Cena via DQ
Grade: B+
Commercials.
Batista will be on RAW next week for what could be a “career altering announcement”.
The Fink brings Bob Barker back out for another segment. We bring out A.J. Pierzynski and I’m not feeling this.
We’re bidding on a Wrestlemania 26 travel package.
A.J. bids $1000
I.R.S. bids $2000
Jillian Hall bids $5000
Santino Marella bids $1200
The actual price is $1247 and Santino is excited. He is going to play for a hot tub and the divas are…included? Santino reads my mind. We’re going to have a bodyslam contest and his opponent is Big Show.
Special Bodyslam Challenge: Big Show v. Santino Marella
Foregone Conclusion.
Winner: Big Show
Grade: N/A
Bob Barker has another opponent for Big Show and this one is more interesting.
Special Bodyslam Challenge: Big Show v. Mark Henry
But first…commercials.
Commercials.
We’re back and Mark Henry sends Big Show out of the ring. Back inside and he goes for a slam, but Henry blocks it. Henry tries and he is unsuccessful. Show attacks from behind in the corner. This is an even matchup. They can’t get each other over. Henry gets close, but Show stops it. He nails a punch in the kidney area. He picks Henry up, but Henry splashes Show in the process. Show gets up and he blocks another attempt. Henry stops Show’s charge in the corner and Show returns the favor. Henry blocks the slam and he bodyslams Big Show!
Winner: Mark Henry
Grade: N/A
MVP celebrates with Henry in the ring.
Josh Matthews is with Bob Barker and he asks him the most unusual moment. The moment was the wardrobe malfunction from a contestant. His most painful moment was when a lady broke his jaw in excitement.
DX v. Orton & Masters tonight!
Commercials.
Trish Stratus is back next week as a guest host! Be Stratusfied!
MC and King is in the ring to shill Breaking Point.
Bob Barker reads his book and Chavo Guerrero complains about losing his match. Chavo seems to play the role of Adam Sandler and he gets karate chopped by Bob.
Main Event is next!
Commercials.
We’re back and it is time for our main event! DX makes their way to the ring and Trips loves Chicago. They do their thing and bury Legacy in the process.
DX v. Chris Masters & Randy Orton
Masters in the main event? EPIC WIN!
Masters and Michaels begin the match. Lockup in the center and Masters gets the offense from the get go. He evades Sweet Chin Music and we go to a commercial.
Commercials.
We’re back and Orton & Trips are legal in the ring. Trips fights off Orton and he tags in Michaels. Orton turns the tide on Michaels and he goes for a suplex, countered by Michaels with a neckbreaker. Trips gets his licks in and he tags in to continue the beating. Orton reverses, but Trips looks for a Pedigree…countered to a backdrop. Orton strikes…RKO…NO! Trips hits a suplex and drops the knee to the face for two. Trips sends Orton to Shawn’s boot and in comes Shawn. Pillar to post we go and Orton kicks Shawn into next week. Tag to Masters and Shawn floats over a suplex attempt and hits some chops. Masters comes back with a backbreaker and Michaels is reeling in pain. Bodyslam by Masters and he tags to Orton. He takes it to Michaels and he drops the knee to the face for a two count. Tag back to Masters and he kicks Michaels in the gut. HARD IRISH WHIP sends Michael’s back to limbo. Two count only and Masters tosses Michaels out of the ring and he lets Orton do the dirty work. Back in the ring, Masters gets only a two count. To the heel corner we go and we get the double team. Orton tags in and he stares at Trips before he waits for Michaels to get up. Textbook dropkick by Orton…TWO COUNT ONLY! Chinlock applied and Michaels is fading away. Michaels gets his second wind and he gets out of the hold…only for Orton to deck him a good one. Back and forth we go…FLYING LARIAT! Both men are down…Orton tags out and Michaels kips up and flops down in a tag. Trips and Masters are legal and they go at it. Neckbreaker to Masters and we get a two count. Knee to the face by Trips and he goads Randy to come in. Masters walks into a spinebuster and he tags in Michaels. He drops the elbow! He tunes up the band…Randy distracts, but Trips takes care of it. Sweet Chin Music is BLOCKED. THE MASTERLOCK IS LOCKED IN! Shawn is down to a knee. Trips is back in the ring and he breaks the submission. Orton is in and Trips takes care of him. Shawn has Masters in the Figure Four and Trips has Orton in a sharpshooter! Stereo tapout!
Winners: DX
Grade: A-
Legacy comes out and DX brawls with them in the back. Orton evades the fight and he seems to be looking for Cena. Backstage, DX completely owns Legacy.DiBiase gets thrown outside and they have a chair. Rhodes uses it to no avail. They steal a car to getaway. Orton is in the ring…wondering where Cena is. He says that DX has to be disappointed since come Sunday they will submit. Randy says he’ll make Cena say “I Quit”. It’s the thing he lives for. Cena’s music plays and he heads out on the stage. Sunday comes early and they BRAWL IT OUT! Cena is livid, but Orton drops Cena with the spike DDT! He grabs a steel chair and he sets it up. He grabs Cena…and he HITS THE RKO ON THE CHAIR! Orton stands over Cena.
Show Over.
The WWE RAW Report Card
DX d. Chris Masters & Randy Orton: A-
Mark Henry d. Big Show: N/A
Big Show d. Santino Marella: N/A
John Cena d. Cody Rhodes: B+
Evan Bourne d. Chavo Guerrero: C
MVP d. Chris Jericho: B+
Extra Credit: Bob Barker FTW
The Final Grade for WWE RAW: B+/A-
Some might call tonight a waste. Others might call it the best RAW in ages. Bob Barker played the role of guest host perfectly. We got the Price is Right games and they were very entertaining. The lowest grade was a C (as I didn’t count the bodyslam challenges) and the RAW side to Breaking Point looks very interesting to say the least. They might actually give SmackDown a challenge this month, dare I say. Thumbs way up for tonight’s show!
See you at the end of the week.
