Welcome to Pulse Wrestling’s Real-Time Coverage of WWE RAW! Â I’ll be here tonight for the next two hours bringing you updates from tonight’s show. Â Tonight, Trish Stratus is YOUR guest host and we’re guaranteed a night of Stratusfaction. Â Batista will make an appearance with a “career-altering announcement. Also, Shawn Michaels is in action against Ted DiBiase. Â Keep your browser right here and refresh every ten to fifteen minutes to get the latest updates!
We open tonight’s show with a recap of Cena v. Orton from last night. Cena didn’t quit…but Randy did. I’m probably the only person in the IWC that hated the match, though.
TIME…TO…GET…STRATUSIFIED!
Oh crap. Trish isn’t opening tonight, but Batista is. This should be interesting as he is still in the cast. First of all, he wants to thank everyone at the arena and watching at home. He’s back to say goodbye. Wow. Huge Batista chants from the Toronto crowd. He talks about rumors surrounding his retirement, but Randy Orton comes out. I think I’m hearing a “Viper” chant as well. Orton isn’t very happy about losing the WWE Title last night. He is happy that Batista is going to retire. Orton wants Batista to save his retirement speech since no one cares. Orton says that Batista isn’t retiring because he’s hurt, but he’s retiring because of him. Batista has a smile on his face. Batista says that it’s funny because Orton is predictable and Batista takes the cast off. SWERVE! Batista hands Orton on his ass. Batista isn’t here to retire, but he is going to go to SmackDown. There is one last thing…Trish Stratus gave Batista one last match on RAW…No Holds Barred against Orton!
Commercials.
We’re back and Lillian is here to introduce Trish Stratus. YES! She has the brunette look! She’s going to make a good host tonight. She pokes fun at Barker almost making Chris Jericho cry. ZING! She knows what we want. She says that Orton is entitled to his rematch and he gets it at Hell in a Cell inside Hell in a Cell. She’ll also give us some stratusfaction.
Kofi Kingston & Primo v. Jack Swagger & The Miz
This is a rematch from Superstars. Primo & Miz begins the match. Miz knocks Kofi off the apron, but Primo is his focus. Primo eats a faceplant and Miz tags in Swagger. Scoop slam connects for two and Swagger locks on a Full Nelson modification. Clubbing blows follow and Swagger chokes Primo out in the ropes. Miz kicks Primo in the head and Swageer sends Primo pillar to post. Springboard splash lands on the knees. Tag to Kofi and he takes it to Swagger. Dropkick connects and so does the flying forearm. Swagger eats another dropkick and Kofi follows with a Jamican Leg Sweep for two. Miz has the US Title and that is distraction enough for the Gutwrench Powerbomb for the three.
Winners: Jack Swagger & The Miz
Grade: C-
Commercials.
Mickie James is here to scout her next opponent.
#1 Contender’s Match: Gail Kim v. Alicia Fox v. ?
It was announced as a Triple Threat…Aren’t there three people in a Triple Threat? Oh, Michael Cole said that it’s one-on-one. OK? Who’s in charge here?
The bell sounds and Alicia takes it to Gail. Gail gets out of a torture rack position into an armdrag. Alicia takes to the floor and eats a baseball slide. Backbreaker by Alicia and we get a cover for two. Back up, Alicia hits a Fisherwoman’s suplex for two. Body scissors applied on Gail and we’re taking away from the match. Alicia smashes Gail’s head on the mat and she hits a scoop slam. Scissors Kick misses and Gail mounts a comeback. Gail beats Alicia to the punch and she levels her with a couple clotheslines. Gail springboards into a crossbody for another two count. Alicia sends Gail to the corner, but Gail evades the charge. Missile Dropkick misses and Alicia hits the Scissors Kick for the win. Booker T called and he wants his move back.
Winner: Alicia Fox
Grade: D
In case you don’t know…Shawn Michaels takes on Ted DiBiase tonight.
Commercials.
Did You Know: Despite the fact our ratings sucked, more people watched RAW than EVERY show on ABC, CW, and Fox. However, we were owned on CBS, NBC, and ESPN.
We get a recap of Batista being injured by Randy Orton twice.
Backstage, Beth Phoenix is in Trish’s office asking why she wasn’t included in the Diva’s Championship Contender’s match. Chris Jericho comes in and he pokes fun at Trish, saying how he left her. Beth Phoenix defends Chris Jericho and she really tells Trish that she retired because she was afraid of her. Tonight, Trish books herself and a partner of her choosing against Chris Jericho & Beth Phoenix. YES!
We recap DX v. Legacy from last night.
Legacy walks.
Commercials.
Legacy is out to brag about their win last night. Cody Rhodes mocks the “Are You Ready” schitck and he rubs it in on how they beat DX last night. They claim to be the only ones who made DX tap out. They didn’t make Triple H tap out, so they’re partially right. Ted has the mic and he says that last night was just the beginning and he won’t stop until DX is out of their lives forever. Good luck.
DX is backstage watching on the monitor and they are heading out to the ring.
Commercials.
Ted DiBiase (w/Cody Rhodes) v. Shawn Michaels (w/Triple H)
DiBiase takes it to Michaels in the early going. Shawn however gets a kick to the gut and follows with a neckbreaker. Shawn stomps on DiBiase’s hand and we go back to the ropes. POWERSLAM BY DIBIASE! DiBiase throws the rights and he scores a kick to the ribs. Back body drop follows and Shawn takes a breather outside the ring. Trips tells Cody to back off. DiBiase suplexes Shawn back in the ring and he drops an elbow. Cover gets two for DiBiase. Headlock applied and I’m tired of them saying that Legacy made DX tap out. They made Shawn tap out, NOT Triple H. DiBiase with the dropkick and gets a delayed cover for two. Another cover gets another two count. DiBiase works the neck again. Shawn is back up and he tries to get out of it. He does and he blocks a dropkick attempt. Figure four attempt is countered to an inside cradle for two. Figure Four again and Rhodes causes a distraction. DiBiase goes for the blows and Shawn is in trouble. Shawn finally comes back with a wild right hand for the takedown. Million Dollar Dream locked in! Shawn takes himself out by running into the turnbuckle. Piledriver attempt is countered to a backdrop out of the ring. Trips with a distraction allows Michaels to shift the momentum. Atomic Drop, flying forearm, KIP UP! He goes up top and he drops the elbow. Shawn is still suffering and he gets back up. He tunes up the band, but Cody pulls the leg and we get a DQ.
Winner: Shawn Michaels
Grade: B-
Trips goes apes*it on Rhodes and IT IS AN ALL OUT WAR! DiBiase and Shawn are in the stands and Trips has Rhodes near the announce table. Rhodes gets dispatched and Trips continues the assault in the stands. Trips sends Rhodes RIGHT INTO THE CAMERAMAN AND WE LOSE THE FEED!
Commercials.
We’re back and we recap what happened before the break.
YAY FOR MIDGETS!
Hornswoggle & Evan Bourne v. Chavo Guerrero & Carlito (w/Rosa Mendez)
Looks like it’s Hornswoggle & Chavo to begin. Hornswoggle goes low and he tags in Bourne. Bourne gets a rollup for two. Carlito quickly tags out and Chavo comes in and eats a dropkick. At the apron, Hornswoggle knocks Chavo off his feet. Chavo quickly rebounds and he takes Bourne off his game. Tag to Carlito and he drops an elbow for two. Carlito works on Bourne in the corner and Chavo gets his licks in. Tag to Chavo and he continues the assault on Bourne. STIFF KICKS, but Bourne comes back with a headscissors! Down goes Carlito, down goes Chavo. Chavo eats a heel kick and gets two. Bourne counters a backstabber and he sends Carlito out of the ring. Hornswoggle gets tagged and he eats some apple…Chavo back up. APPLE SPIT! Tadpole Splash connects…and I’m still wondering who Chavo pissed off.
Winners: Hornswoggle & Evan Bourne
Grade: Since it wasn’t Chavo/Hornswoggle one-on-one…C
Chavo asks what he has to do. He gives up.
We recap Orton/Batista from Extreme Rules.
Commercials.
Josh Matthews is with John Cena. He asks how Cena was able to withstand fifteen minutes of torture. Cena says how Randy talked about the WWE Title is his life. Cena points out that Orton quit at the first sign of trouble and that he didn’t quit. He took the abuse…he wanted to give up, but he didn’t. He brings up the rematch. Cena says how Randy will say that Cena’s win last night was a fluke. Cena makes a promise that we will see a different side of him at Hell in a Cell.
Just Announced: DX v. Legacy inside Hell in a Cell
Time for another tag team match. Does Trish still have it?
Trish Stratus & MVP v. Chris Jericho & Beth Phoenix
Was I the only one hoping that Christian would be on rent for tonight’s show? The match is NEXT!
Commercials.
We’re back and MVP and Trish are discussing strategy. Jericho & Phoenix make their way to the ring. It’ll be the ladies starting things off. They lock up and Beth immediately takes control. Hard scoop slam connects, but Trish comes back with chops in the corner. Beth comes back with a jab and MATRIX! Trish drops the elbow and Jericho gets involved. MVP clotheslines himself out and Jericho follows suit. Trish has Beth in the ring and Big Show comes in to cause the DQ.
Winners: Trish Stratus & MVP
Grade: N/A
Trish won’t let it end like that. It’s a SIX PERSON TAG! NEXT!
Commercials.
Chris Jericho, Big Show, & Beth Phoenix v. MVP, Mark Henry, & Trish Stratus
We’re JIP as Big Show has MVP on the mat. Tag to Jericho and he continues the assault. Headbutt by Jericho (and Big Show approves him stealing his move). MVP gets a rollup for two. Clothesline follows and both men are down. Jericho prevents the tag and he drags MVP to the heel corner. I love how Beth is trash talking MVP. MVP gets a comeback going with a monkey flop. Jericho gets to the ropes and he tags out to Beth. She wants MVP to face her like a man. She shoves away and MVP grabs her leg. TAG TO TRISH! Thez Press connects and she she wants MVP to go Ballin’. They do it together and Jericho pulls Beth out of the ring. PLANCHA BY MVP! Trish off the ropes, she gets tripped by Big Show. Henry takes Big Show out and Beth goes for a cover and only gets two. Trish gets a reversal in the corner. STRATUSPHERE CONNECTS! She follows with the STRATUSFACTION AND THAT IS ALL!
Winners: Trish Stratus, MVP, & Mark Henry
Grade: C+ for the whole thing
We recap Orton injuring Batista again.
Main Event is NEXT!
Commercials.
Cedric the Entertainer is your guest host NEXT WEEK!
No Holds Barred: Randy Orton v. Batista
The bell rings and Orton immediately gets a chair. Batista beats him to the punch. In the ring, Orton looks for the spike DDT, only for it to be countered. Orton takes control with a couple uppercuts. Batista explodes with a clothesline, knocking Orton out of the ring. Forearm to Orton and he tosses him back in the ring. Thumb to the eye and 3.0 Backbreaker connects! Galvin Stomp by Orton. He drops the knee on Batista and he leaves the ring for a chair again. SPEAR BY BATISTA! Orton leaves the ring again. Batista introduces Orton’s head to the table before sending him up and over. Lawler loses his headset and Orton gets dropped on the barricade. Orton backs away, but Batista is right there. Orton gets sent hard to the steel steps. Back in the ring…RKO ATTEMPT COUNTERED to a side slam and Orton leaves the ring again. He walks up the ramp and Cena is there to stop him. Back in the ring…SPINEBUSTER! Batista Bomb connects and Orton is done for!
Winner: Batista
Grade: C
Show Over.
The WWE RAW Report Card
Batista d. Randy Orton: C
Trish Stratus & MVP d. Chris Jericho & Beth Phoenix via DQ
Trish Stratus, MVP, & Mark Henry d. Chris Jericho, Big Show, & Beth Phoenix: C+
Hornswoggle & Evan Bourne d. Chavo Guerrero & Carlito: C
Shawn Michaels d. Ted DiBiase: B-
Alicia Fox d. Gail Kim: D
Jack Swagger & The Miz d. Kofi Kingston & Primo: C-
The Final Grade for WWE RAW: C
Well, whoever bought Breaking Point just got ripped off as we have Cena/Orton and DX/Legacy announced for Hell in a Cell. It seems that the WWE doesn’t know how to make new feuds. Trish did good as guest host and proved that she still had it. Not a bad show tonight. See you in a few.
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