ECW Real-Time Report for 9/22/2009

Welcome to the EC-Dub!

 

I’m back covering ECW as I missed last week.  Apparently, Zack Ryder is your new #1 contender and he should put on a great match with Christian tonight.  It’ll probably end in shenanigans but that’s just how these things go.  Well, on with the show.

 

“I’ve heard you’ve been looking for me…”

 

Your hosts are Josh Matthews and Matt Striker.

 

We start out with the Abraham Washington show.  Tony Atlas is the new Ed McMahon of the show.  Washington comes out to boos once again.  I still love the Applause sign.  Atlas laughing at everything Washington says is a nice touch.  Washington brings out Shaemus.  Washington puts on some shades and says it got a whole lot whiter around here.  Shaemus doesn’t appreciate the racism.  He says he’s honored to be on Sanford and Son.  HA!  Shaemus talks about how he doesn’t like Shelton Benjamin.  Atlas is laughing and says Shaemus sounds like the Lucky Charms guy.  Washington brings out Shelton Benjamin.  I hope it’s a better appearance than his last one on the Abraham Washington Show.  NO singing please.  Shaemus and Shelton stare each other down.  Washington calls him Hootie!  Nice!  Benjamin is surprised Washington hasn’t been cancelled yet.  He tells Shaemus that they were on the same team when he “stole” the victory from Shaemus.  Benjamin says he looked up Shaemus’ family history and found a bunch of legends.  A picture comes out showing Wendy, Ronald McDonald, Pippi Longstocking, Bozo the clown and Carrot Top.  Sheamus attacks Benjamin and security comes out. 

 

A couple of good lines and Atlas makes this show bearable but The Abraham Washington Show still has a long way to go to be good.

 

Commercials.

 

We’re back and Paul Burchill comes to the ring with Katie Lea.  We recap his attack on Hurricane last week.  Yoshi Tatsu comes out next.

 

Paul Burchill (w/ Katie Lea) vs. Yoshi Tatsu

The bell rings and Paul Burchill takes the early advantage.  Tatsu spins out of an armbar and gets one of his own.  Side headlock from Tatsu.  Burchill sends him to the ropes but can’t shoulder block him down.  Sweep from Tatsu and cover for one.  Tatsu with a sunset flip for a two count.  Armdrags from Tatsu.  He clotheslines Burchill out of the ring.  He hits the cross body to the outside.  He rolls Burchill inand goes to the top.  He gets distracted by Katie Lea and Burchill joins him at the top.  Superplex from the top rope.  Burchill in control and covers for one.  Slam from Burchill.  Knee drop.  Cover for two.  Chinlock.  Tatsu fights out but runs into a Somoan drop.  Cover for two.  Another chinlock from Burchill.  Tatsu fights back but Burchill gets him in a full nelson and drops him to the mat.  Yoshi gets to the corner and rolls up Burchill for a two count.  Tatsu with some kicks.  He rolls Burchill and hits the kick.  He goes to the top and hits a spinning wheel kick from the top and covers for two!  Burchill with a knee to the gut.  He puts Tatus in the corner and goes to the top.  Tatsu fights back but gets pushed to the mat.  Burchill is on the top rope and hits knees from the top!  Cover for two!  Tatsu surprise kicks Burchill in the head and covers for the three count!

 

Winner: Yoshi Tatsu

 

We recap last weeks Zack Ryder’s win in the battle royal last week.  Zack is in the back with one of the new interviewers.  Ryder says he creates his opportunities and tonight he’ll take advantage of his and become ECW Champion.  You know it.

 

Commercial break.

 

The Burchills are in the back and Paul storms off.  Gregory Helms stops Katie Lea to interview her.  Paul attacks him from behind and tells Katie Lea to stay away from him.  He tells Helms he is not done with him.

 

William Regal’s music hits and he comes down the ramp in a suit with Ezekiel Jackson and Vladimir Kozlov.  Their opponents are already in the ring.

 

Vladimir Kozlov and Ezekiel Jackson vs. Jobbers

I’m not wasting my time.

 

Winners: Kozlov and Jackson

 

Commercial break.

 

We’re back and Regal and his cronies confront Goldust.  Regal reminds Goldust they have a match on Superstars this week.  He calls Goldust a joke and the title match tonight a joke as Regal is the only one prestigious enough to hold the ECW belt.

 

We recap Smackdown.

 

The main event is next!

 

ECW Championship Match

Christian (c) vs. Zack Ryder

They lock up and Ryder shoulder blocks Christian to the mat.  Another lock up and Christian slaps Ryder on the break in the corner.  Shoulder block and Christian covers for two.  Ryder takes control with a kick to the midsection and some kicks on the mat.  C’mon bro!  Christian fights back but Ryder knees him in the midsection again.  He steps on Christians throat.  Christian hits a hurricarana and Ryder goes to the outside.  Christian hits a baseball slide as Ryder tries to get back in the ring.  Christian runs to the top and hits the cross body to the outside.  He rolls Ryder in the ring and covers for two.  Another slap to the face.  Christian goes to the top but Ryder grabs a leg and sends him down to the mat.  Cover for two.  “This close, bro”.

 

Commercials.

 

We’re back and Christian gets back body dropped to the mat.  Cover for two.  Christian fights back and hits the springboard sunset flip for a two count.  Dropkick from Christian.  Ryder rolls to the apron and Christian goes after him.  Ryder sends Christian off the apron into the steel steps.  Ryder rolls him back into the ring.  Cover for two.  He gets a body scissors on Christian.  He adds the chinlock.  Christian with blows to the body to come back.  He goes off the ropes and runs into a knee.  Ryder covers for two.  Ryder drapes Christian on the top rope and then hits a running knee.  Nice.  Cover for two.  Back to the body scissors.  Headbutts from Ryder.  Ryder goes to the top but gets caught and Christian hits the flapjack.  Christian is up and takes it to Ryder.  He goes to the apron but Ryder hip tosses him back in.  Ryder goes for the Zack Attack but Christian counters and hits a neckbreaker.  He hits a missile dropkick but misses the next.  Zack goes for the Zack Attack again but Christian counters again and hits the springboard sunset flip but gets caugt.  Ryder falls on him and gets the two count.  Missile dropkick from Christian again.  They trade offense for a bit and Ryder hits the running legdrop for a two count.  They get up and Ryder escapes a Killswitch attempt.  Christian gains the upperhand again and hits the flying uppercut from the second rope.  He then hits the Killswitch and this one is over.

 

Winner and still champion: Christian

William Regal’s music hits and he heads to the ring.  He grabs a mic and says he will be the #1 contender again.  Christian has heard enough and attacks Regal.  Regal escapes with a smile on his face and Christian poses out the show.

 

The main event made up for an otherwise lackluster show.  Christian puts on a solid main event week in and week out and Ryder still looks impressive in the ring.  Needs to work on his mic skills though.  See you next week kids.