As the rabbit from Alice in Wonderland said to Alice; “I’m late, I’m late..†and then he jumped in front of traffic and, well.. he’s on my plate. Yummy. This is THIS week’s “This Week in Indies†and I, Hack Johnson, will be serving as your toastmaster this evening. For this installment we will begin a walk on the wild side (no, not Tommy Rich though I hear it’s fun..) as we head to the shake, rattle, and roll state (sorry Honky, not Memphis): California!
The City of Industry opened their arms and welcomed the AWS (Alternative Wrestling Show). Rika lost by pinfall to the NY Knockout, Nikki. Ceric the Hitman (change of careers? Ouch.) teams with the man with the ongest name in indie wrestling, “The Rock and Roll Rebel Soul†Johnny Yuma to take on and subsequently defeat Jumpin Jalen Wu (could you imagine – for one monent – Jumpin Jalen Wu teaming with.. get this.. LEAPING Lanny Poffo? Now THAT would be a fun tag team. We could call them the “Lemmingsâ€.) and his partner Riki De La Paz. Johnny Goodtime (Fairplay was getting a bikini wax) pinned Sindarin, Morgan took out Eric D’Erico. The AWS tag straps were defended as current champions, Dogs of War were able to defeat the L.A. F’ers. Blood Eagle and Octagoncito (say that three times fast) double-pinned Dragon Mask and Mini Dragon. Teddy Hart flaked on the show (was anyone actually surprised?) and his replacement Scorpio Sky pinned Shane Haste. In intergender tag action (now that’s what I like to call a Saturday night) Peter Avalon and Kitana Vera beat The Human Tornado and Candice LeRae. The main event saw AWS Heavyweight champ, Johnny Paradise pin Scott Lost (wow.. what a craptastic name for wrestling..).
We were gonna take a trip to West Virginia but I opted against dueling banjo music and getting lost again so our travels continue in.. Atlanta, GA with WWA4. This show only got in 3 matches due to the flooding.. but the WWA4 shows usually only have 4 matches so is it really a call out? I mean – couldn’t they have done the last match a TV style match? Anyway.. Jake Diamong pinned Miquel Rivira, Tag Gorilla Mac and Victor Koloff defeated Jaebo and Amy Morgane, Cornbread Jonathan Gresham beat AR Fox for the WWA4 strap.
I tend to go back to the scene of the crime so lets get to Kentucky for a little Ohio Valley Wrestling action! Yes – OHIO.. YES.. in Kentucky.. they CAN travel, you know? Despite the irony of it all. In any case – OVW in action with their aptly named “Capital Punishment†show! Metal Master took a win over Apoc, Beef Wellington (mighty tasty meal if I do say so myself) along with Hog Wild and Jay Millz beat Tilo, Kharn Alexander and Kevin Hundley. Epiphany beat CJ Lane to keep the woman’s title, Kamikaze Kid along with Asher Knight took a win over Eye Candy Ali and Vick the Bruiser. The Mobile Homers (yes, feel free to laugh..) beat Off da Hook (you may continue to laugh). And in the main event U-Gene (Nick, really.. SERIOUSLY?) beat Jamin Olivencia.
Since we are already in Kentucky let’s head up to the boys in the Northern Wrestling Federation (NWF). Chris Cannon laid down for Muldoon, Jeremy “I’m Your Hero†Hyde beat Mikey Nicholls, The Thugs put a cap in Ge and Samson, The Infection lost a non-title tag match to the Hippies, Matt Stephens over the Warlock, Larry D and Playboy over Mr. Hayes and Chris Harris, Stewie Backlund (no relation) took a win of Jay Donaldson, Christopher Michael Lotus beat the Fitness Machine. And, in the main event, NWF champion Ryan Stone beat Tri-State champ Austin Meddler (and those darn kids..)
Whoever says nothing happens in Des Moines, IA has never been to a 3XW show. The show started out with a triple threat (always a crowd pleaser especially at swinger’s clubs) as Rory Fox made his debut against Devin Carter and Tony Sly defeating them both. For those of you who still watch MTV you will know Rory Fox. For those of you who don’t – I’m right there with you. The Horndogs (I’m laughing again) beat Gage Octane and Mark Sterling, Rockstar Jimmy Rockwell lost his cruiser strap to Casanova thanks to interference from Todd Countryman. The High Flyers (dammit – NO.. it’s not Greg Gagne..) defended and RETAINED their belts over TNA’s Abdul Bashir and Arya Daivari (wow.. déjà vu). In tag action Sexy and Smooth defeated Aaron Masterson and Ricky Kwong, The Rebel retained his heavyweight strap when he defeated Al Snow by DQ after gave him head (that sounds dirty..)
Off to Tennessee and Jerry Lynn (man – this dude gets around) in the UWA (United Wrestling Association). The Forsaken Angels Guild over Travis Austin & Justin Nobody (again, creative naming for this industry.. maybe she should team with Scott Lost?), Mike Powers over Insane Lane by pin, Shane Daniels lost to Billy Marshall, The Assassin & Danny Ray won against Chris Dalton & Samoa, The Shenanigans deafeated The White Tiger & “No Mercy” Tommy Mercer, “The Showtime Kid” Jim Miller vs. Bob O Mac vs. The Rip ended with Jim Miller on top and, in the main event Justin O’Day with Travis Sawyer couldn’t pull out the win over Jerry Lynn and Shawn Shultz.
Now to favorite place in the world.. Bourbon, Indiana (yes.. I do enjoy sarcasm) for the NWA Underground. Much to my dismay (though not totally surprised) this branch of the NWA has stopped to the levels of wrestling I hate.. cheap heat based on racism. Disgusting. I’ll just ignore the main event in the results then. So – with that said – El Tigre over Kenny Kage, Sean Tylerstein defeated Scott Storm, Nick Cutler defeated Steven Drochner, Gameboy (what – no copyright infringement?) & Jamie Eternal over Jack Verville & Jimmy Shalwin, Jason the Terrible defeated The Ghost Clown, and Adam Bueller defeated Jeremy Hadley to keep the Mayhem Championship.
As always – humor in the path of results – my style. Slow week in wrestling and even slower marks. There are some shows coming up – as always. I’ll be on vacation Oct. 5-11th in Orlando so I’ll be seeing TNA live (good thing, because dead wrestling is just sick) and debuting the magazine I’m editor for. With any luck I’ll be doing some lines with Jake by the end of the weekend (sarcasm). As usual send an e-mail to bobganome@gmail.com to send me results, announcements, death threats, and whatever else. Follow me on Twitter by going to http://www.twitter.com/darkersidemag and that’s about it..
1…2…3… Stone Cold wins! Stone Cold wins….
UWA,
