The SmarK Legacy Rant for Monday Night RAW – October 25 1993 (plus a BONUS match!)
– Taped from Poughkeepsie, NY.
– Your hosts are Vince & Bobby, as Savage is injured due to Crush.
Evil Crush v. Phil Apollo
Crush now has purple and silver attire, because he’s EVIL. Crush catches Apollo’s punches and CRUSHES his fists (har har), which is a pretty cool spot. Spinkick sends Apollo into the corner and Crush clotheslines him on the way out. Press slam and EVIL HEAD VICE finish at 2:40.
Meanwhile, Johnny Polo is pretty sure that 1-2-3 Kid and Marty Jannetty are gay for each other and he could beat them both with one hand tied behind his back. This is, in fact, going somewhere, believe it or not.
1-2-3 Kid v. Marty Jannetty
Bobby and Vince do a long bit about the Beverly Hillbillies movie to show how TOTALLY LIVE this show is. Of course, it’s not. Kid takes him down with a hammerlock and holds onto that as we finally get some discussion of the Survivor Series on this show. Weird that RAW used to be the B show. Marty escapes the hammerlock and they criss-cross, but it’s a stalemate. Kid works the headlock as Bobby explains how Halloween works in Beverly Hills — they send their chauffeur door-to-door to trick-or-treat. Kid with a victory roll for two, and Marty goes to the headlock, but Kid puts him down with a leg lariat for two. Kid fires off the kicks and tries a rana, but Marty blocks it with a powerbomb for two. And now Johnny Polo joins us at ringside, as we take a break. Back with Polo tripping up Marty, as Kid gets two. Kid throws the kicks in the corner and gets the lightning legdrops, but goes up and misses a swanton bomb. Marty gets two off that. Kid puts his head down and Marty faceplants him for two. So this time Polo trips up the Kid and Marty gets two off it. At least he’s not playing favorites. Marty argues with Polo and Kid rolls him up for two. Marty sends him into the corner and works on a hammerlock. A suplex gets two as this kind of dies off for some reason. Snap suplex, but another one is reversed by the Kid into a german suplex for two. Ref is bumped and Kid dropkicks Marty out of the ring, but tries a somersault plancha and KILLS himself on the landing, as Polo shoves Marty out of the way. It’s a double countout at 10:40. Polo thinks he’s pretty smart, but Kid & Jannetty put aside their differences and kick his ass in impressive fashion afterwards. ***1/4
Jeff Jarrett takes us to Buddy Lee Attractions in Tennessee, explaining the politics of country music and how he can’t catch a break. Maybe he fucked the wrong person’s wife.
Ludvig Borga v. Mike Bucci
Borga pounds on the future Nova (or Simon Dean depending on which gimmick you pick) in the corner and faceplants him, then drops an elbow. Sideslam and he adds a few kidney punches and finishes with the torture rack at 3:38.
Men on a Mission v. Tom Mata & Steve Greenman
Greenman attacks Mo in the corner, but gets clotheslined for his troubles. Over to Mabel as he hammers on Greenman’s arm and does something vaguely resembling a shoulderblock to put him down. MOM with a double dropkick, as Mabel goes aerial and almost hits the jobber’s knees. Over to Mata, and Mabel outwrestles him. That’s how you KNOW you’re a jobber — when you’re getting schooled on the mat by MABEL. MOM drops a double-team elbow as Vince positions them as the next challengers to the Quebecers. Funny story, as Mabel was so awful that he accidentally won the tag titles on a European tour. Basically, they were doing a spot unrelated to the actual finish, and Mabel fell on top of one of the Quebecers and the ref counted the pin because he didn’t know what to do. MOM sandwich Mata and Mabel pins him at 5:40. They were just SO terrible at this point.
Diesel v. Dan Dubiel
Speaking of people who were terrible at this point in their careers. Diesel catches him with a bearhug and then adds a gutwrench suplex, and stomps away on him. Neck vice and he continues stomping Dubiel down. Backbreaker and kneelift set up the big boot, which at the time was Nash’s big highspot. A punch to the head finishes at 4:00. One thing you can say — hanging out with Shawn Michaels for three years made him a HELL of a lot better in the ring.
Coming up on Superstars: Borga v. Tatanka in the battle of the undefeated streaks!
Next week: Well Dunn v. The Smoking Gunns! Mr Perfect! Razor Ramon v. Bastion Booger!
Bonus match: Ludvig Borga v. Tatanka
And hey, the awesome nerds in the WWE Classics section give us this one, too! From Superstars, October 30 1993. Borga pounds on him with kidney punches and throws knees in the corner, but misses a blind charge as Tatanka comes back with chops. Tatanka needs three clotheslines to put him down, but Borga pops right back up. Tatanka tries a headlock, but Borga won’t go down and Tatanka can’t overpower him. Dropkick won’t put him down, but a bodypress finally gets two. Borga chops him down despite the best efforts to crowd to remind them what country they’re competing in, and Borga follows with a sideslam. Mr. Fuji joins us at ringside and we take a break. Back with Borga holding a chinlock, but Tatanka suplexes out…and Borga no-sells it and clotheslines him down again. Back to the chinlock as I’m randomly wondering why they didn’t just make Tony Halme into a Russian. It’s a classic and would have worked much better as the foil for Luger. Or maybe a Nazi. Everyone hates the Nazis! Borga rams him into the turnbuckles, but it’s time for the PISSED OFF RACIAL STEREOTYPE COMEBACK. Tatanka throws chops, but Borga throws him out of the ring. Fuji moves in, drawing the ref’s attention, and that allows Borga to waffle Tatanka with a chair. You’d think they’d go with the countout, but no, Borga rolls him back in and pins him, with ONE FINGER mind you, to end the unbeaten streak at 10:12. Wow, they weren’t fucking around with cheap finishes there. Tatanka went out there and JOBBED and Borga looked like a monster. *** Unfortunately with the streak gone, Tatanka never really got back to the level he was at in 1993 again. Yokozuna comes out and adds the buttdrop to really kill him dead, and Lex Luger gets mugged by the Quebecers while trying to make the save before finally getting rid of the heels.
