Now with more Al Sharpton!
Welcome to Pulse Wrestling’s Real-Time Coverage of WWE RAW!  I’ll be here tonight for the next two hours bringing you updates from tonight’s show.  Tonight, the Rev. Al Sharpton is YOUR guest host.  Who cares about the Panthers and Cowboys tonight when you could be watching the greatest two hours of sports entertainment.  OK, I lied.  The show’s gonna bomb, but at least keep your computer on tonight’s RAW Recap because I gotta cover it so people like you won’t have to watch.  How’s that for a trade off?  Good.
Tonight, John Cena runs the gauntlet when he faces Big Show, Chris Jericho, and Randy Orton just six days before his epic match with Orton at Hell in a Cell. Will Cena survive the gauntlet or will he suffer?
Real-time updates will occur at the top of the hour. Keep refreshing this page for the latest updates!
We’re LIVE from Albany, New York and it is time for the VIP Lounge with MVP and Mark Henry! They have the esteemed privilege of hosting our guest host…but Chris Jericho and Big Show decide to interrupt. They are let through without incident. Jericho shames MVP for giving an introduction like he did. Jericho says that Sharpton is just like him – he tells it like it is. They finish the introduction and I demand to hear D-Von’s old music. The crowd hates on this like nobody’s business. Sharpton talks about reforming the American education. MVP wants Sharpton to book “JeriShow” tonight in a tag title match! Sharpton asks Jericho what he thinks of that and Jericho responds that he doesn’t care. They are already in a match tonight with Cena. Jericho tries his best to get a bigger heel reaction than Sharpton and it seems to not be working. Sharpton is all about opportunity and he wants to show that to Jericho. Not only will we get the match, but the match is NEXT!
Commercials.
WWE Unified Tag Team Championship Match: MVP & Mark Henry v. Chris Jericho & Big Show
We’re back and we are in progress as Jericho takes it to MVP. Off the ropes and MVP nearly messes up a punch. Jericho goes for a suplex into cover and MVP bridges out for two. Backslide by MVP and we get two. Tag to Mark Henry and he takes it to Jericho. Henry steps on Jericho and he has his way with him. Jericho rolls through and he cuddles with the Big Show! Tag made and Show punches his way through Henry. He charges, but HENRY CATCHES HIM AND HE TAKES CONTROL! MVP tags in and he takes it to Big Show. Jawbuster connects and he looks for the Yakuza kick, but Show runs into MVP and he assumes control. Tag to Jericho and he takes MVP down and locks on a headlock. MVP gets back up and Jericho blocks a clothesline. They repeat the spot (making me think Jericho no-sold) and Jericho goes down. MVP covers for two and it’s Jericho first to his feet. Jericho hangs MVP up in the ropes and he gets a four count from the referee. Tag to Big Show and he takes MVP down with a headlock takeover. Scoop slam connects on MVP and Show tags back Jericho. He continues the advantage, but MVP fires back with a shot at the jaw. MVP runs into Jericho’s elbow and Jericho attempts the Lionsault. MVP moves out of the way and Jericho connects with the canvas. Tag to Henry and he takes care of Big Show. Military press for Jericho, but Show catches him. We go to commercial.
Commercials.
We’re back and Mark Henry pins Jericho for two as Jericho finds the ropes. Jericho goes down again and Big Show has had enough. He spears Henry and he drops the leg. Replay shows that Show tagged in. Henry walks out of the corner into a clothesline. Cover gets two only and Show continues the attack. I’m surprised this match is getting some time, though. Show hyperextends Henry’s shoulder a bit, but Henry powers out. Show responds with some headbutts and he follows with a DDT for two. Tag to Jericho and he swaggers in. Jericho attempts a sleeper hold, but Henry’s neck is too big. He sells it anyway until he is tired of it. He squashes Jericho in the corner. Charge, but Jericho rolls out and he clips the leg and Jericho resumes control. Show tags in and Show sends Henry to the ropes. Both men think the same thing and they both connect. Tag to MVP! Tag to Jericho! They duck the clothesline attempt and MVP IS ON FIRE! MVP connects with the kick to the face and that gets two. Pillar to post we go and Jericho eats the corner. MVP levels Jericho and it’s time…to…go…BALLIN’! Cover gets two because that move never ends the match! Playmaker attempt is blocked as Big Show intervenes. Henry takes Show out and Jericho kicks Henry out. Rollup…2.9999! MVP remains on the attack. Hip toss by Jericho..COUNTERED TO A DDT! TWO COUNT ONLY! Off the ropes, Show hits MVP in the back and that sets up for the Codebreaker for the three!
Winners: Chris Jericho & Big Show
Grade: A- (nearly a 20 minute match = instant awesome)
Sharpton is meeting with Primo inside the classroom and the comedy division of RAW proceeds to kill things. Chavo Guerrero says he was through with Hornswoggle and we’re still subjected to this sh*t. Santino confuses Sharpton with a boxer. It seems we’re going to get Horny/Santino v. Chavo/Masters. Sharpton kicks everyone out and he continues to educate Sharpton.
Recap of last week where Cena will run the gauntlet.
Josh Matthews is with “The Viper” Randy Orton. Orton says that Cena has no chance to survive tonight’s slaughter. He talks about how Hell in a Cell is where the sadists thrive. He won’t be responsible for his actions come Sunday.
The divas are up NEXT!
Commercials.
We get a commercial for Sharpton’s Education Reform Tour.
Mickie James v. Rosa Mendez (w/Alicia Fox)
The bell rings and we get a lockup. Mickie gets a takedown and Rosa transitions to a legscissors. Back up and Mickie takes Rosa down. Mickie screws up a corner duck, but they quickly rebound. MickieDDT gets countered by Alicia’s scream. Mickie counters the counter with a neckbreaker for two. Rosa off the ropes and she takes Mickie down. Kick to the back of the neck connects and Mickie is in trouble. Cover and that gets two. She works the arms and upperback a bit, but Mickie isn’t giving up. Mickie armdrags out of it, but Rosa is quickly up and she thrusts Mickie in the corner. Rosa gets restrained and that buys Mickie some time. Mickiecurrana connects and Mickie is on fire. Rosa counters a whip attempt and Mickie takes Rosa out. Mickie has hold of Alicia Fox, but she moves as Rosa Mendez misses a boot. Mickie hits the Mick Kick for the three count.
Winner: Mickie James
Grade: D
Legacy walks.
Commercials.
We have a Hell in a Cell hanging up above the ring. Justin Roberts correctly call them “The Legacy”. They get in the ring and they want to talk. DiBiase says that no one expects them to beat DX inside the Cell. They have done a number on DX the past few weeks that they will get their greatest victory yet. We get a recap of Legacy taking DX out. Rhodes with the mic hammers the point that no one expected it. Cody says that after Sunday, Trips can get the corner offices ready at Titan Towers and sit there for the rest of his career. Rhodes puts over Shawn Michaels as a great entertainer. However, they will be standing over a broken heap that is Shawn Michaels.
BORING!
About damn time. DX is atop the 200 concourse and DiBiase says that they got them. However, they see right through DX. Trips says that the the two of them are…Shawn reminds him to keep it PG friendly. The two are like buttholes. The second reason is enough to go into comic jokes. When they are up there, the “monster” is away and the jokes play. However, they want to send the monster out. Why wait until Sunday? They walk down towards the ring. They get in the ring and Legacy takes to the crowd, not wanting any part of DX. Shawn says that this is a shock. After all the talk, they stand ready to go and Legacy ran away. Sunday, the Cell will surround the four of them and for Legacy it will be PURE HELL!
Commercials.
Did You Know: Last week, RAW was watched by more people 18-49 than the Jay Leno Show on NBC. We couldn’t report that last week because it wasn’t true.
Jack Swagger is walking down the ramp with the US Title around his waist. We recap why he had the title from last week’s show.
Jack Swagger v. Evan Bourne
The bell sounds and they stand toe to toe. Amateur start from Swagger and he takes Bourne to the apron. Off the turnbuckle, Swagger catches Bourne and hits a sidewalk slam. He follors with dropping the knee. He locks on a vicious leg lock and it gets sold as the leg can’t be twisted that way. Bourne gets the ropes and he gets taken out of the ring. Swagger grabs Bourne, but he eats a Pele kick to the temple. Back in the ring, Bourne gets two off a rollup. Swagger is back in control, but Bourne finds a way to get back in it. Off the ropes, Bourne takes Swagger down for one. Gutwrench Powerbomb is countered as Bourne finds the top rope. KNEES FIRST AND THE CROWD WAKES UP! That gets two and Bourne goes to the top again. He lands on his feet and we get a Hurrancurana, but Swagger turns it into the Gutwrench Powerbomb. Awesome.
Winner: Jack Swagger
Grade: C
Jack Swagger says that he has the look and the talent. He also has the gold. He will officially become the U.S. Champion. He’s interrupted by the Miz. Really? He says that he is basically better than Swagger. Swagger goes for the first punch and they get into a brawl. Kingston comes over to steal his title back.
Commercials.
Michael Cole & Jerry Lawler pimp WWE.com for some reason. Now please allow me to slowly kill myself as our next match is up.
Santino Marella & Hornswoggle v. Chavo Guerrero & Chris Masters
Please Masters…put that damned midget in the Masterlock. If you do, I’ll continue to mark out for you. The bell sounds and it’s Chavo and Santino to begin. Santino with a headlock and he takes Chavo off his game. Chavo goads Santino to another lockup and he takes advantage. In comes Masters and he owns him in that sequence. Tag to Chavo and Santino is in trouble. Chavo scores an uppercut and he takes Santino to the corner. Santino counters and he hits a snakebite on Chavo…yes a snakebite, sue me now. Masters comes in off a blind tag and he locks on the Masterlock! Santino hulks up, but he passes out. HAHA!
Winners: Chris Masters & Chavo Guerrero
Grade: D-
Masters pulls Hornswoggle into the ring. YES! MASTERLOCK! He’s killing a midget! Wait…Chavo just decked Chris Masters! WHAT? OH FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING THAT IS PURE!
Excuse me for a moment…
Commercials.
Welcome back to the show. I regained some sanity. We get a clip of the stars going overseas last week.
Next week, our guest host is Ben Roethlisberger! He’s bringing his entire offensive line from Pittsburgh with him to keep order.
The card to Hell in a Cell is pimped.
We go back to Al Sharpton and we have Jillian Hall sucking the life off this segment. The mute button goes on and Sharpton sends her off. He’s then interrupted by the Bella Twins, on loan from ECW. They dance with Al Sharpton and that is worth a million bucks right there.
Commercials.
We get a trailer for NBC’s new sitcom, The Community.
Gauntlet Match: John Cena v. Big Show, Chris Jericho & Randy Orton
First opponent: Chris Jericho
The bell sounds and Cena takes Jericho down. Quick covers by Cena and Jericho gets Cena in the corner. Drop toe hold by Cena, but Jericho gets control. Jericho chokes Cena out in the ropes. To the ropes we go and Cena goes down. Cover gets one. Headlock applied and Cena gets out of it. Attitude Adjustment attempt is countered by Jericho. He guillotines Cena’s neck on the bottom rope and the tide has turned for Jericho. Cena sidesteps Jericho and VINTAGE CENA! Jericho is planted with the Protobomb. Five Knuckle Shuffle connects and Jericho counters the Attitude Adjustment with the Walls of Jericho. Cena crawls to the ropes, but it doesn’t matter as Jericho gets disqualified.
Winner: John Cena d. Chris Jericho via DQ
Jericho won’t let go and we get Cena’s next opponent. Jericho finally releases the Walls after at least a couple minutes in and Big Show makes his way to the ring.
Second Opponent: Big Show
The bell sounds and Show towers over Cena. Show punches Cena in the kidney a couple times. Commercials upcoming.
Commercials.
We’re back and Big Show is still dominating Cena. Big Show applies a bearhug and Cena looks to be out. Wait a second. SUPERCENA…cut off in the past! Big Show calls for the end and he looks for the Chokeslam…COUNTERED TO A DDT! Attitude Adjustment attempt from Cena and Jericho interferes for the DQ
Winner: John Cena d. Big Show via DQ
Big Show and Chris Jericho double team Cena with Show applying the Colissial Clutch. Randy takes his time heading to the ring (giving Cena time to recover).
Final Opponent: Randy Orton
The bell rings and Orton stalks Cena. Cena points up at the Cell and the look on Orton’s face is priceless. SUPERCENA RETURNS! Orton tries to get out, but the Cell is on the ground. Cena took the beating and he outsmarted Randy Orton. The door is opened. Cena tells Orton that the way out is there. Attitude Adjustment attempt and Orton takes refuge on top of the Cell! Cena is in hot pursuit! They GET IT ON! OH MY GOD! CENA WITH THE ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT ON TOP OF THE CELL! Cena’s music plays and he conveinently no-sells the offense from Jericho and Show.
Winner: No Contest
Result: John Cena wins twice both by DQ.
Grade: N/A
Show over.
The WWE RAW Report Card
The Gauntlet Match ultimately ends in a no contest: N/A
Chris Masters & Chavo Guerrero d. Santino Marella & Hornswoggle: D-
Jack Swagger d. Evan Bourne: C
Mickie James d. Rosa Mendez: D
Chris Jericho & Big Show d. MVP & Mark Henry: A-
The Final Grade for WWE RAW 09.28.09: C
Well, I have to eat my words. I expected the show to bomb. I expected Al Sharpton to be a bad guest host. However, Sharpton’s involvement wasn’t bad and it was largely minimal. We had a damned good Tag Title match and he even busted some moves with the Bella Twins. Last week’s show was an EPIC FAIL. This week, however…aside from the obivous angle development that the main event was…it was decent. Anyone who boycotted RAW tonight missed a decent show. RAW gets a pass this week.
Enjoy your week.
