Pulse Wrestling’s Real-Time WWE RAW Report – 10.05.09

Dr. Randall K Orton, C.E. is your NEW WWE Champion as he defeated John Cena last night inside Hell in a Cell. Usually the Cell is where feuds end and another begins, but will this mean the end of the Cena/Orton rivalry and will Orton move onto bigger and better things? Or will John Cena have one last trick up his sleeve? Also, DX survived Hell’s playground as they rebounded from another divide and conquer attempt from the Legacy to beat them at their own game. Kofi Kingston continues to be the master of multi-men matches and Mickie James keeps her dominance over the Diva’s Division. With Bragging Rights three weeks away, anything and everything will happen.

Pittsburgh Steelers’ QB Ben Roethlisberger is YOUR guest host! And he’s not alone…he’s got plenty of backup capable of eating Big Show for breakfast. Forget about Brett Favre as he’s like Ric Flair…doesn’t know when to quit. OK…I’m sure that won’t stop you from watching tonight’s football game, but at the very least keep your computer on Inside Pulse Wrestling and I’ll be sure to send you the real-time updates!

WE ARE LIVE! Wilkes-Barre, PA is the place to be and we’re kicking off with Roethlisberger. Ben has something from the get-go and….here we go.

The Diva Bowl

We have all the divas from all three brands here tonight and Gail Kim is YOUR GUEST REFEREE! This looks to be a tag team match, team black v. team white. It’s a huge scramble from the get-go and Gail Kim restores order. Rosa Mendez and Mickie James are in the ring and Rosa eats a Mick Kick for her troubles. Alicia Fox in and Mickie makes short work of her too. Mickiecurana connects and Alicia gets dropped like a bad habit for two. Everyone gets some action right now and Michelle McCool gets PLANTED with the MickieDT. Alicia Fox comes back and she gets rolled up for the win.

Winners: Team Black
Grade: N/A

The fun quickly ends as Randy Orton makes his way out on the stage. He proceeds to take his time walking down the ramp because he is cool like that. He’ll speak NEXT!


We’re back and Randy is in the ring. He says that he defeated John Cena to become a six time WWE Champion. He calls out the fans for thinking that he’d needed backup, that he needed a short cut, that he needed to cheat. He beat Cena, end of story. He bets that Cena will come out and interrupt him and ask for a rematch. Orton will entertain Cena if he comes out right now.

Ask and you shall receive. HERE COMES SUPER CENA! For someone who got punted last night, Cena looks like he quickly healed. Cena actually doesn’t want to waste words and he wants to go NOW. Orton says that Cena won’t get a rematch tonight. Cena drives the point home that Orton doesn’t give a damn about the fans. He then congratulates Randy on his victory last night. There was something special about Hell in Cell last night. The fact that Cena got booed last night? This isn’t just a feud – it’s a rivalry. Cena wants one last chance at the WWE Title. He wants to give them the match of matches…AN IRONMAN MATCH! Not just an Ironman Match, but SIXTY MINUTES! One catch though, after this match…no more rematches. Orton however wants to do this on his terms. Randy doesn’t just want to end the rivalry…he wants Cena off RAW. If Cena wins, he’s champion. If Cena loses, Cena is off RAW. Cena accepts. Orton isn’t done yet. Orton wants to make it No DQ, No Countout. Cena knows where this is going. He still accepts.


We get a blurb on Big Ben’s charity.

CHECK ONE TWO! Jack Swagger is out and he is bragging on how he is a winner. He didn’t get pinned last night and he won’t lose. He promises to go undefeated for the rest of the year and he approves this message.

Jack Swagger v. Primo

Cena v. Orton will happen at WWE Bragging Rights!

The bell sounds and he locks up. Primo keeps his ground, but Swagger goes amateur on Primo. Primo ducks a punch and he hits a hurrancurana. Swagger sends Primo to the corner and he follows with a splash. Out of the ring, Swagger works on Primo’s neck. Back inside, Swagger takes it to Primo at the ropes. Belly-to-Belly gets two. Bearhug applied and Primo’s back meets the turnbuckle in the worst way. Swagger misses a charge and Primo almost stole one. Back in the corner, Swagger goes back on the attack, but Primo tries a comeback. Dropkick gets two. Springboard is blocked as Swagger gets kicked. Gutwrench Powerbomb connects and his undefeated streak is born.

Winner: Jack Swagger
Grade: C

JeriShow is talking strategy or something in the back.



Backstage, the divas are still going at it until Santino effectively stops the fight. He wants Mickie and Alicia to kiss and make up. Alicia has a better idea and she slaps Santino. The catfight ensues and Santino runs away.

Bragging Rights will feature ONE match with RAW v. SmackDown in a huge tag team match featuring the winners of the RAW matches against the winners of the SmackDown matches.

Backstage, The Miz is with Big Ben and he complains about Swagger not being pinned last night. This transitions to that he is the Miz and that he is awesome. He dogs Big Ben and he asks for a U.S. Title shot tonight. He can do this match, but with a stipulation. If the Miz loses, he has to say that he is the Miz and he’s awful… HA!


Slam of the Week: Masters kills a midget! YES! Chavo doesn’t know anything though.

Seven days makes a difference, though. Chavo and Chris smoothed things out.

Chavo Guerrero & Chris Masters v. MVP & Mark Henry

TAG TEAM REVIVAL! Henry and Masters starts things out and it works out as well as you expect it. Masters goes down and Henry hits a splash! He lands hard on the knee and he quickly tags out to MVP. Chavo goes for a distraction and he pays for it. Masters assumes control and he tags in Chavo. He mounts MVP and the referee takes him off. MVP looks for a tag, but Chavo clips the legs of Mark Henry and MVP has to tough it out. Chavo charges and MVP gets a monkey toss. He is on fire as he hits a shoulderblock. He is about to go…BALLIN’ Masters drops the elbow…on Guerrero and Henry takes care of Masters. MVP gets the three count on Chavo. Better than losing to Hornswoggle.

Winners: MVP & Mark Henry
Grade: C

In the ring, Chavo and Chris have some words. Masters responds by kicking Chavo and putting the Masterlock on him. Hornswoggle SAVES THE DAY! He crotch chops Chavo and we’re confused…

Big Ben is on his way back out to the ring.


We’re back and Big Ben makes his way to the ring. Not even a minute in, JeriShow makes their way to the ring. Big Show promises that he won’t try to intimidate him. Then they joke about his “offensive line”. We get the offensive line and we have what has to be about two tons of backup. Jericho laughs it off and he reminds them that this is a WWE ring and that they don’t wear helmets and pads. The Steelers huddle and they want a piece of Big Show. JeriShow leaves the ring…


DX makes their way to the ring and the excitement level has been raised. JeriShow retreat to the top of the ramp, not wanting any part of DX and the Steeler line. Jericho talks about how DX is pathetic and they thank him for the plug and to comment on the hair. They are tired about how JeriShow faced all these “great tag teams” and Big Show says that DX doesn’t want a part of JeriShow. Jericho says that DX doesn’t mean a thing and that they don’t deserve to face them. Big Ben steps in and he makes a match for tonight. DX v. JeriShow tonight for the first time ever! They crotch chop and the ring nearly implodes!


We recap what happened earlier tonight.

United States Championship: Kofi Kingston v. The Miz

Remember, if Miz loses, he has to say he’s awful. The bell rings and we get some chain wrestling from the get go. They shove each other and Miz gets sent out of the ring. Back inside and they butt heads. Headbutt from Miz gets barely a half a second’s worth a count. Roundhouse misses, but Kofi rebounds with a rollup for two. It looked like that was botched a bit since Miz didn’t kick out. Back in the ring, we get another rollup for two. Miz from behind with a body shot gets two and he assumes control. He chokes away at Kofi in the ropes. We go to the corner and then to another corner until the referee pulls him out. Kofi leaps off and he GOES CRAZY ON MIZ! Miz elevates Kofi, who lands on the apron. MIZ SWEEPS THE LEG AND KOFI IS ON THE OUTSIDE! Break time!


We’re back and Miz has Kofi in a chinlock. Kofi tries a comeback and he counters a Miz suplex attempt for two. Miz explodes with a clothesline and he mounts Kofi and beats him up. He drops the leg and gets two. Whip reversal and KOFI HITS TROUBLE IN PARADISE! Miz falls out of the ring. Kofi gets him back in the ring and Miz kicks out at two. Small Package by the Miz gets only two. Lariat by Kofi and he goes for the Boom Drop, but Miz rolls over. Kick to the back and the Boom Drop connects! Miz gets a hand on the ropes. Miz drops Kofi’s neck on the ropes and he goes for Trouble in Paradise, countered to a backslide for two. Kingston ducks a clothesline and he nails one of his own. Dropkick connects and he goes to the top. Crossbody, but Miz rolls through and he gets a two count. S.O.S. connects and Miz kicks out! Splash misses and Kofi loses his balance. SKULL…CRUSHING…FINALE! This is over!

Winner and NEW United States Champion: The Miz
Grade: B

Miz has the microphone and he is AWESOME!

DX v. JeriShow TONIGHT!


We’re back and we discuss WWE Bragging Rights. We go back to earlier tonight to the Orton/Cena confrontation.

Backstage, Hornswoggle tries to have a conversation with Big Ben and Santino complains of being mauled by women. They go back and forth making fun of Santino’s Italian. Hornswoggle slaps Santino and he leaves. OK?

JeriShow walks…


Next week, Nancy O’Dell and Maria Menounos are guest co-hosts!

Non-Title Match: JeriShow v. DX

Trips and Jericho start things off. They circle the ring and we get a lockup. The referee gets a break and we get another lockup. Jericho with the headlock, jockeying for position, gets sent to the ropes by Trips. Off the rebound, Jericho takes Trips down. He goes off the ropes again and Trips hits an armdrag. He works the arm and in comes Shawn Michaels. Michael Cole reminds us of the rivalry between Jericho aned Michaels as Jericho hits a scoop slam. He drags Michaels over to the Big Show, but Michaels finds sanctuary in the opposite corner. Shawn evades the Big Show and he tags in Trips. He stares at him as we go to break.


We’re back as Trips is in trouble with Big Show having a bearhug applied. Trips tries to break it down, but Big Show tightens the grip. Trips gets out of it and Show reverses a whip, followed by a splash in the corner. Two count only and in comes Jericho. He tees off on Trips and he gloats a bit. Stiff kick to the chest and Jericho continues to mock at Triple H. Back and forth we go and Jericho gets sent to the ropes. He cuts Trips off in the past and hits a missile dropkick for two. Jericho chokes Triple H in the ropes and gets a break. He sets up for the running strike, but Trips moves and Jericho goes down. Tag to Shawn Michaels and he is on fire. Atomic Drop connects, followed by a chop. Jericho reverses and whips Michaels HARD into the corner. He follows with stiff kicks and in comes the Big Show. He drops the leg on Michaels for two. Big Show picks up Shawn into a torture rack submission move before dropping him on the back. Michaels wills his way back up and Big Show hits a few body shots towards the kidney. Tag to Jericho and he continues the attack. Shawn tries to fight back, but Jericho levels him for two. Jericho toys with Michaels and he continues the pressure on the back. Michaels gets back up and he stomps on the feet. Small package gets two and Jericho reverses to the Walls! Shawn gets close to Trips, but Jericho pulls him away. He tries again…and he gets pulled away. Trips has had enough and he breaks the hold anyway. Big Show complains about that not being a DQ. Jericho tags Show in and Shawn does his best to evade Big Show. TAG TO TRIPLE H! TAG TO JERICHO! Bulldog is countered and Trips explodes with a clothesline for two. Knee smash connects and Big Show grabs Trips. Jericho connects with Big Show and Trips gets a spinebuster on Jericho. Trips looks for a pedigree, but Show is in…GOOZLE! Shawn is in and he gets caught as well. DX attempts a double suplex, but BIG SHOW SUPLEXES BOTH MEN! Trips is up quickly and he helps Show take himself out of the ring. Jericho goes for a rollup using the ropes…TWO COUNT ONLY! The Walls is attempted, but Triple H gets out of it. Pedigree attempt and Big Show stops it again. Big Show looks to chokeslam Trips, but Shawn saves the day. He gets caught again, but Show sets him down, huh? DX rams Show into the ring post and they clothesline him over the barricade. Jericho is alone against DX and he slides out of the ring. But he isn’t going to run away as Big Ben and his entire line form a huge roadblock! Jericho gets sent back in the ring…SWEET CHIN MUSIC CONNECTS! Trips gets the three count.

Winners: DX
Grade: B+

DX, Big Ben, and the entire line celebrate with crotch chops for all.

Show Over.

The WWE RAW Report Card

DX d. JeriShow: B+
The Miz d. Kofi Kingston: B
MVP & Mark Henry d. Chris Masters & Chavo Guerrero: C
Jack Swagger d. Primo: C
The Divas in Black d. The Divas in White in the Diva Bowl: N/A

The FINAL Grade for WWE RAW 10.05.09: B-

Overall, a much better show this week in terms of wrestling. Nothing was too offensive and Big Ben played his role well. Can’t complain about the show tonight. Have a great week!

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