Pulse Wrestling’s Real-Time WWE RAW Report 10.12.09

Last week, John Cena and Randy Orton vowed to continue their epic rivalry as they agreed to a rematch for WWE Bragging Rights. The catch is that If Cena loses, he is gone from RAW and if Orton loses, he gets no more title shots while Cena is champion. The other catch is that their rivalry will end in a sixty minute Ironman match with no DQ and no Countouts. Anything is legal. As we near Bragging Rights, what will the Viper do to reduce Cena’s chances of winning?

Also, Degeneration X and the entire Pittsburgh Steeler offensive line crashed any party that JeriShow (TM Andy Wheeler) had in mind. DX would go onto beat JeriShow and find themselves a top contender to the Unified Tag Team Titles. Will JeriShow counter the loss this week or will DX continue to make their lives a living hell?

Finally, the Miz captured the U.S. Title last week by defeating Kofi Kingston. Will we see a rematch tonight or will a new challenger step up?

Tonight’s RAW is co-hosted by Nancy O’Dell and Maria Menounos of Access Hollywood. There hasn’t been any matches announced as of this writing. Be sure to join me tonight on Inside Pulse Wrestling for real-time coverage of WWE RAW.


We open with Chris Jericho, the “Best of the World”. He pimps Bragging Rights and the main event is a seven on seven tag team match. Wait, I thought we were going to have the winners face off with other winners. Where did the team captain concept came from?

Nancy O’Dell cuts in and says that Jericho opening RAW wasn’t on the script, but DX opening RAW is. Cue Triple H.Trips brings the timekeeper in the ring to play the part of Shawn Michaels. He has to do things differently tonight. Seems that Shawn isn’t here tonight, so he’s gonna call him and put him on speaker. We get the coolest voicemail ever, but Shawn picks up. His daughter is sick. Cue some cheap plugs and cheap comedy.

Cue JeriShow and it seems that the Team RAW v. Team SmackDown concept is confusing the Hell out of me and Survivor Series is next one. Jericho trashes the book and he reiterates that he is the captain of Team SmackDown. Trips says that SmackDown is a good show where the GM is spineless doing anything Vince says. Sadly Trips buries the SmackDown roster in the process. Jericho says that while Big Show is on the RAW Brand, he wants him on team SmackDown. We get some gay innuendo and Big Show says that they’re equals, but Show carries the team. Cue the disagreement. Can we just get along? Trips stands by watching what could be an explosion. Big Show says that he wants to be on Team RAW. Sadly, Trips doesn’t have any openings. He has to earn his spot on Team RAW…and he can do that by beating Chris Jericho. The match is…NOW!

Commercials.

Big Show v. Chris Jericho

If Big Show wins, he joins Team RAW at Bragging Rights. Handshake to shart and we get a lock up. Clean break in the corner and we get another lockup. Another clean break and I’m wondering if I’m watching ROH. Jericho gets a waist lock, but Big Show powers out. Jericho chops away, but Big Show shows him how to do a chop. Jericho takes a powder out of the ring, but Big Show has had enough and he pulls him back inside. Show tells him to calm down and Jericho doesn’t want to calm down. Show goozles Jericho and he shoves him into the corner. Codebreaker attempt, but Show catches him. Jericho slaps Big Show and he slaps back and he falls out of the ring. Jericho looks to have hurt his knee. Show checks up on him, but Jericho played possum too early and Big Show ends up winning via countout.

Winner: Big Show
Grade: FTS

Jerry Lawler is wearing his “PLEASE VOTE FOR ME” shirt. Maria Menounos interviews the Legacy and she announces that Trips decided to book them against each other and John Cena in a Triple Threat match – winner joins Team RAW. Good to see that our guest hosts have the power to make matches.

Commercials.

We’re back and it’s time for a title match!

Diva’s Championship: Mickie James v. Jillian Hall

Lockup to start and Jillian gets the upperhand. Off the ropes and Jillian counters an armdrag to a botched move of sorts. Back up, Mickie gets a Thez Press and follows with a dropkick for two. MickieDT is countered to a X-Factor, countered to a jacknife cover for two. Off the turnbuckle, Jillian Hall powerbombs Mickie for the three, complete with her foot on the ropes.

Winner: Jillian Hall
Grade: F

That powerbomb…was a sick powerbomb. The way Mickie landed looked scary. Jillian has the microphone and she wants people to snap pictures of her with the title. She decides to sing. Oh God.

She’s interrupted by Nancy O’Dell. She made a huge trade with the other GM. We get another title match against MELINA!

Diva’s Championship: Jillian Hall v. Melina

Jillian Hall is now willing to give the title up. The bell starts and Melina goes for something, but Jillian backs up causing another BOTCH. Melina sets Jillian up for a Style’s Clash!? for the three.

Winner: Melina
Grade: FTS

So Mickie James gets killed and Melina becomes the third diva to win both the WWE and Diva’s Titles.

Commercials.

SNOOPY THE DOG IS YOUR GUEST HOST NEXT WEEK!

Trips is talking to a cardboard cutout of Shawn Michaels. The comedy level just went up twofold with Hornswoggle dressed up like Shawn. GIMMICK INFRINGEMENT! Horny superkicks the cardboard and Trips has to get physical. That…was better than the three matches we seen tonight.

Santino is here with Nancy O’Dell and Maria Menounos. Beth Phoenix is pissed off for being traded off to SmackDown. She gets threatening with Maria, but Santino plays up on Maria’s wrestling ability and we seemingly get that match tonight. Beth leaves and Santino claims that when they were in bed, he faked the orgasms. HAHA!

Cena/Orton video. Triple Threat is NEXT!

Commercials.

Ted DiBiase v. Cody Rhodes v. John Cena

Winner joins Team RAW at Bragging Rights. The bell rings and it seems that it’s going to be a handicap match for the time being. Cena battles out of the handicap and he divides and conquers Legacy. Sidewalk Slam connects for Cena. High Low by Legacy connects and Rhodes gets a two count. Legacy tees off on Cena. Cena tries to get back, but Legacy continues to keep him at bay. Doule suplex connects and they stalk on their prey. Top rope bulldog by Rhodes connects and they continue the beatdown. STIFF KICK BY DIBIASE! Stereo Dropkicks connects and Cena gets the ropes. We’re waiting for the timed Cena comeback, but it’s not happening yet. Cena goes pillar to post and he hits the turnbuckle hard. Rhodes chokes Cena’s neck in the ropes. HERE COMES CENA! Rhodes goes to the barricade, but DiBiase levels him and gets a two count. Cena gets tossed out of the ring and we go to break.

Commercials.

We’re back and Cena Comeback #2 is derailed and Legacy can’t cooperate on the pinfalls. Cena sends Rhodes out of the ring and DiBiase stops any comeback. Cover gets two after that dropkick. DiBiase rushes and he connects with the steel ring post. Rhodes back in and he hits a neckbreaker for two. He keeps Cena on the defensive and gets a two count in the process. Knee drop connects and we get another two count. Cena Comeback #3 begins with a suplex! Cover gets two and DiBiase breaks it up. They try a double suplex on Cena, BUT CENA COMEBACK #4 and he suplexes both men. Cody Rhodes goes out of the ring. DiBiase gets leveled. Belly to Belly connects and Rhodes gets backdropped. STF on DiBiase, But Orton comes out to distract Cena. Cody Rhodes schoolboys DiBiase for the three and THE FIREWORKS BEGIN!

Winner: Cody Rhodes
Grade: C+

Nancy O’Dell decides to shake things up a bit and she books a tag team match. Rhodes & DiBiase against Orton & Cena. No one is happy with this news.

Commercials.

Batista v. Rey Mysterio this Friday on SmackDown!

Jack Swagger v. MVP

Winner joins Team RAW. The bell starts and Swagger looks for the Gutwrench early on, but MVP won’t allow it. Armdrag by MVP and he gets out of the corner. Off the ropes and Swagger is in trouble early on. Swagger comes back and he sends MVP to the ring post and the referee is all over him. Swagger works the arm a bit. Cover gets two. Swagger gets sent to the ropes and he kicks MVP. Off the ropes again…MONKEYFLIP by MVP! Jawdropper connects and we’re going to go BALLIN’! Two count only. Swagger hits a single arm DDT and he finishes with the Gutwrench for the win.

Winner: Jack Swagger
Grade: C-

Backstage, Legacy continues to argue and Orton asks them to stop. He says that he won’t tag himself in and he’ll let Cena get sent to the wolves. Conspiracy theories fly and Orton dissolves them now.

Kofi Kingston v. Evan Bourne

Winner joins Team RAW. But first, break time.

Commercials.

We’re JIP and the match almost ended during the break. Kofi works the arm and we get a Mark Henry v. Chris Masters match made for Superstars as the final Team RAW qualifying match. Back to the action, Kofi leaps into a ROUNDHOUSE KICK! Bourne covers and gets two. Bourne with a half Boston Crab applied and Kofi rolls out of it. High angle European uppercut connects and that gets two again. Kofi springboards on the ropes, but he falls off and Bourne almost gets two. SOS connects by Kofi and that gets two once again. Bourne kicks Kofi down and he takes to the air. Kofi evades and Bourne tries a springboard, but he gets caught with Trouble in Paradise for the win!

Winner: Kofi Kingston
Grade: C

Trips is back with a bandaged up Shawn Michaels cardboard cutout. We get another pimp of the new book and Maria is nervous. Trips trains with her a bit and is interrupted by Chavo Guerrero. He asks what is he up to with Hornswoggle. He thinks of conspiracy theories and he asks why he wasn’t allowed to be on Team Raw. Maria kicks Chavo in the balls and Shawn finishes the segment up with his line.

Commercials.

Tommorow night on ECW: Regal & Ryder v. Tatsu & Christian

Beth Phoenix, Alicia Fox, & Rosa Mendez v. Kelly Kelly, Gail Kim, & Maria Menounos

Maria has the hot leather attire tonight. Bell sounds and it’s Alicia and Gail starts out. Maria comes in on the tag and she gets a couple head toss. Alicia gets Maria up, but she counters with a rollup for two. Tag to Beth and she mocks her a bit. Kick to the knee and she lands a slap on the face. She smartly tags out to Kelly, who pays the price with a backbreaker. Tag to Rosa, but Kelly comes back and she sends Rosa to the corner. Handspring elbow connects and she gets tripped up. Rosa takes out Gail, but Maria snaps Rosa’s neck off the rope. Jumping leg drop connects and that is the match.

Winners: Kelly Kelly, Maria Menounos, & Gail Kim
Grade: C-

Your Strange Bedfellows Tag Team match is NEXT!

Commercials.

The Miz makes his way on the stage wearing jeans and a nice shirt. He tells the fans to get used to it. At Bragging Rights it’s Miz v. Morrison! MATCH OF THE YEAR CANDIDATE! He mocks Morrison a bit.

We hype Bragging Rights.

Strange Bedfellows: John Cena & Randy Orton v. Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase

But first…

Commercials.

We’re back and Orton and Legacy is in the ring. Orton just got off the phone with Snoop Dogg and Cena will be in one of the biggest matches in his career next week. The announcement will come after the main event! Orton leaves the ring and goes to the floor and the bell sounds. DiBiase starts off and Cena overpowers him from the get go. DiBiase takes Cena to his corner and Rhodes gets involved. Tag to Rhodes and he tees off on Cena. Tag back to DiBiase and Cena eats a dropkick for two. Cena tries a comeback, DiBiase cuts him off for two. Tag to Rhodes and he works on a choke while Orton is uninterested. Cena tries another comeback and he hits a Protobomb! Cena tags in Randy Orton! Orton locks up and Rhodes rolls Orton up for two! Rhodes takes Orton to his corner and DiBiase comes in and he gets two nearfalls on him. Orton tags Cena and Cena does his five…moves…of doom! Cena off the ropes and Orton blind tags himself in. Attitude Adjustment by Cena, but Orton beats up Cena a bit. DiBiase is the legal man, so is Orton! Rollup by DiBiase and he just pinned the WWE Champion!

Winners: Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase
Grade: C

Next week it is John Cena v. Triple H!

Cena is looking concerned.

Show over.

The WWE RAW Report Card

Legacy d. Orton & Cena: C
Kelly, Maria, & Gail d. Beth, Alicia, & Rosa: C-
Kofi Kingston d. Evan Bourne: C
Jack Swagger d. MVP: C-
Cody Rhodes d. Ted DiBiase & John Cena: C+
Melina d. Jillian Hall (New Divas Champion): FTS
Jillian Hall d. Mickie James (New Divas Champion): F
Big Show d. Chris Jericho (Countout): FTS

The Final Grade for WWE RAW 10.12.09: C-

I was close to giving this show an epic fail this week and it really deserved it. But, I liked the interactions of the co-guest hosts and the Triple H segments with Shawn on the phone was priceless. Chavo got owned again this week. Maria Menounos didn’t get killed or didn’t kill anyone. The segments pretty much saved the show. Just do yourself a favor and ignore the second and third segments (Big Show/Jericho & The Divas Flop) and you’ll be a better person because of it.

WWE Diva Trade Details

RAW Gets: Melina, Eve Torres, & the Bella Twins
ECW Gets: Rosa Mendez
SmackDown Gets: Beth Phoenix & Mickie James

The WWE Draft sure did a good job this year, didn’t it?

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