The buzz continues to grow for The Bang. Kaley Cuoco was on the CBS Early Show for an interview with Harry Smith. Most of the talk was about how critics that couldn’t see the show working are now praising it. She did mention how if dating Leonard doesn’t work out, she’s got three more nerds in waiting. “I’m going to have to date one each season, then the nightmare sequence will be Penny and Sheldon.” A nightmare or a ratings dream date? All of America will tune in to see Sheldon hook up with Penny. It’ll be bigger than when Mindy Cohn lost her virginity on Facts of Life.
“The Pirate Solution” opens with Howard, Raj, Sheldon and Leonard watching Gremlins. Sheldon has an issue with the film since nobody can follow the simple rules. Penny arrives at the apartment. She calls Leonard. Goonies, Gremlins and Young Sherlock Holmes to celebrate Columbus Day. They were all written by Chris Columbus. She asks what they watch on Thanksgiving. Sheldon declares it’s the parade. She normally goes home for Thanksgiving, but this year’s a bit complicated with Penny’s brother on trial. She says they’d like him since he’s kinda of a chemist. She volunteers cooking Thanksgiving dinner at her place. Sheldon wants to know if she’ll be serving cranberry jelly or cranberry sauce. She might serve both. He can’t take such indecisiveness in a host. Howard’s mom serves up a Turbriskafil: Turkey stuffed with a brisket stuffed with a gefilte fish. He asks is Raj is coming to Thanksgiving with him. He quickly exits.
Why do people insist on shoving meat inside of meat? Turducken sounds as appealing as a tofurkey. Wonder if Howard’s mom has pitched her idea to Olive Garden? Would have been sweet to hear Howard’s mom describe this frankenfood in her shrill. The Chris Columbus joke should be appreciated since his last film completely tanked. Did anyone see I Love You, Beth Cooper? The bad part about this opening is now I’m hungry for turkey and the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. Did you see that NBC had the cast of Fox’s Glee tossed of their float. Guess that saves us from one more tribute to Journey.
Howard returns with news that he’s got to find another job or he’ll be deported. Sheldon suggests he take up a life of piracy. Penny leaves the room so Raj can return and talk. She does. Raj explains how for the last six months his project has been dead. He’s been faking work for the last six months. He’s been messing up wikipedia pages and watching streaming movies. Sheldon points out that taking money from the university for not doing work is stealing. Although this would work in Raj’s favor as a pirate. He doesn’t know what to do. Penny shouts from the other room that he needs to find another job.
Raj and Leonard are at the cafeteria. Raj gets sad about not getting to eat real Big Macs if he goes back to India. They sit down at Sheldon’s table. He and Raj get into a fight over how Hindu’s see cows as Gods. Howard rushes to the table. There’s a new research project opening and Raj needs to apply. He runs to the professor Laughlin’s office.
Raj and the Professor Laughlin are very compatible. The job looks like its his. But then they’re joined by a female professor from MIT. He goes mute. He wanders over to the professor’s bar and downs a little Scotch. He begins talking. He takes a second shot and offers to have a meeting with the female professor in his hot tub.
Back at apartment, Raj explains that things didn’t go right. Howard promised him that they’ll stay close. Although the closeness gets farther apart until Howard agrees to Skype. Sheldon bursts into the room with good news that will save the day for Raj. Nobody cheers. He has extra funding on his string theory project. He wants Raj to work for him. Raj would rather swim the Ganges naked with a papercut on his nipple than work with Sheldon. Sheldon reminds him that it’s working “for” him.
Remember kids that booze can open you up, but many times it’ll let you puke words. Everything you say can and will be used against you. During a conversation, ask yourself: would Bryan Ferry look like a jerk saying what wants to come out of your mouth. If he would sound stupid. Then shut up. And if you look in the mirror and notice you’re not nearly as cool as Bryan Ferry, so shut up and nod. It’s nice to see Sheldon offer the job to Raj. However working with friends is never too good of a concept. Mostly because at some moment, your friend transforms into corporate policy. You stare at their eyes and wonder what could have made them such an utter jerk. You’re no longer a pal, but part of their monthly quota of efficiency. Nobody wants to be reduced to meat and man hours. However Raj needs that gig or he’s back home and begging to make Slumdog Wheel of Fortune.
Sheldon is in his office staring at the white board. Raj knocks and asks if he’s busy. Sheldon is busy. Raj must wait. After a longer stare Hinduism or Indian culture. Sheldon likes his desires, but rejects them. Raj asks to take the job. But it can’t be that easy since Sheldon needs to have an official interview. Raj tells him to not make him beg. Sheldon busts out the bazinga! It’s a practical joke. Sheldon thinks it’d be a good idea to laugh at the boss’s joke.
Back at the apartment Leonard and Penny are on the sofa. Sheldon isn’t back. Penny wants to make out on Sheldon’s part of the sofa. Soon as they get on the space. The door knocks. They panic, but it’s merely Howard. This is the night he normally goes line dancing with Raj. He sticks around the place since he has nothing better to do. He’s so lonely he’ll watch Sex and the City with them. He wonders if their periods will synch up.
Back at the office, Sheldon and Raj must come up with an experiment to prove is dark matter equation. Ray jokes, “Dark matter. We better bring a flashlight.” Sheldon is the boss. He makes the jokes and this is not the time for funny. They need to buckle down and think. We’re given a montage of the two of them staring at the problem while “Eye of the Tiger” plays.
This had to be the truest visualization of smart guys thinking on network TV. They didn’t amp it up with freaky camera motions and Beautiful Mind images. They’re just staring hard and thinking deep.
Howard and Penny come out of the bedroom. He says, “Thank you.” She reminds him that he doesn’t have to say thank you after everytime they have sex. In the kitchen is Howard making breakfast. Normally Sunday morning he goes with Raj to the farmer’s market to pick up hippie chicks. Howard gives them props for their finishing sounds. Leonard has to explain that Penny and him need some alone time. Howard declares himself the third wheel. On the way to the door, he instructs them on what to do to finish his amazing breakfast. Penny feels guilty. She wants Leonard to get Howard back. Leonard softly says, “Come back, Howard.” The front door opens and Howard’s ready to eat with his friends.
Sheldon and Raj disagree over the concepts. Raj says that if they were arguing in his native language, he’d be kicking butt. Sheldon reminds him that English is his native language. Raj proves his better than his boss by doing a finger trick. The two fight over the marker board. It finally gets to the point where Raj storms out. He’s had it working for Sheldon. Sheldon still can’t do the finger trick.
The finger trick does work for me. But it feels so wrong to flaunt it in the face of those who aren’t as dexterous. Those double jointed kids were always such show offs on the school bus. Do you think there are uber-rich geeks who get double jointed surgeries so they can do finger tricks?
Sheldon knocks on Raj’s door. Raj opens the door and declares he’s busy doing the finger trick. Sheldon admits Raj’s formula was right, but he won’t admit his way is wrong. He wants Raj working with him. Raj has conditions. Sheldon rejects them. Raj takes the job. Sheldon needs a ride home. He walked over and now there’s a big dog outside. Raj agrees, but Sheldon wants them to think about something on the way to the apartment. “Eye of the Tiger” starts up again.
Nice to see they won’t be forcing Raj to fly home and appear on the show via Skype. He won’t be like Natascha McElhone. Strange they didn’t have Raj attempt to quickie marry Penny to get a green card. Naturally he’d have to do it without words coming out of his mouth. She could have told him that if he can’t fake propose sober, their sham marriage would be false. As the episode goes, both stories worked with the loneliness of Howard and the desperation of Raj.
Next week is “The Creepy Candy Coating Corollary.”
Tags: Pirates, Sheldon, The Big Bang Theory