Pulse Wrestling’s WWE RAW Report – 10.19.09

Welcome to Pulse Wrestling’s LIVE RAW Coverage!  I’m here this evening to bring you the latest up-to-date results from tonight’s show. We have John Cena taking on Triple H and The Miz will face a former WWF/E Intercontinental and Tag Team Champion tonight.  Who am I talking about? Keep it to the Pulse for your RAW updates!

Justin Roberts gives the verbal fellatio on our guest host tonight, Snoop Dogg! He’s accompanied by the Bella Twins, now officially RAW Property and Eve Torres. The foursome parade around the ring a bit before Snoop asks us to make some noise. He buries the SmackDown roster and he reminds us about Cena v. Trips tonight. He also books Randy Orton v. Ted DiBiase and Chris Jericho takes on Shawn Michaels. He brings out DX to join in on the fun.

Snoop Dogg leaves the ring and Shawn speaks Snoop Dogg-ese. It’s full of izzle. Trips brings up Team SmackDown, which leaves a lot to be desired. They bring up Katie Vick and they finish Snoop Dogg’s complete burial of SmackDown. Shawn Michaels brings Trips up to speed with Drew Macintyre, but they still forget Eric Escobar. They bring up the Vickie Guerrero jokes and again…they bury Team SmackDown. Trips brings out Team RAW and it’s fun to see how everyone is happy to be with DX. Shawn runs down Team RAW. They hesitate to introduce Cody Rhodes, but Rhodes intends to not listen to DX on Sunday. He claims that he just might beat SmackDown all by himself and this brings the Big Show in. He doesn’t care if he insults DX, but he will respect him and he brings the law down…if anyone is a weak link, he’ll take them down. Mark Henry steps up an it seems that they will have a problem. Jack Swagger gets in and puts himself over until Kofi steals the mic. He brings sense to Team RAW, but Trips asks if Kofi is Jamican. HAHA! Shawn knew that this was going to happen so they arranged for a five on five tag team match where the loser of the fall is replaced by the one that pins them.

Big Show, Mark Henry, Jack Swagger, Kofi Kingston, & Cody Rhodes v. MVP, Primo, Evan Bourne, Chavo Guerrero, & Chris Masters

NEXT!

Commercials.

We’re JIP and Chavo gets an one count on Kofi Kingston. Kofi back drops out of the offense and he leaps on Chavo. Kofi takes Chavo out and both Big Show and Mark Henry tagged in at the same time. That doesn’t count so Cody tags in and he gets it on with MVP. He ignores the team and that costs him. In comes Bourne and he eats a crossbody. Rhodes rolls through for two. He has Bourne in a headlock and mocks Team RAW. Primo tags in and he takes it to Cody Rhodes. He holds his own, but eats a Russian Leg Sweep. CrossRhodes connects, but Swagger tags himself in and he saves the match.

Winners: Big Show, Mark Henry, Jack Swagger, Kofi Kingston, & Cody Rhodes
Grade: F

Team RAW breaks down in the ring and they take everyone out. Big Show is the last man standing.

Josh Matthews is with Ted DiBiase and he explains that he did what Randy would had done in the same situation. Randy appearantly didn’t return his calls and Randy comes in. He claims that DiBiase betrayed him. Orton says that they won’t have a match tonight and that DiBiase will respect Orton or he will regret it for the rest of his life.

That match is NEXT!

Commercials.

We’re back and DiBiase is in the ring.

Ted DiBiase v. Randy Orton

Orton and DiBiase are face to face. They back off and the bell sounds. Orton walks closer and he kicks DiBiase in the gut. That is followed by the uppercut and DiBiase still won’t fight back. He kicks him down. Orton talks smack to DiBiase and he busts out the Galvin stomp. He asks if Ted wants to hit him and he stomps him some more. DiBiase gets back up and he stares Orton down. Orton piefaces him and DiBiase keeps looking at him. Orton shoves DiBiase to the ropes and he comes back with a shove of his own that knocks Orton down. Orton cowers in the corner and the fans seem to get behind DiBiase. Orton gets back up and they stare each other down. Orton holds DiBiase up and he RKO’s him for the win.

Winner: Randy Orton
Grade: N/R (Hard to rate a match like this)

The commentators talk about the passing of Captain Lou Albano and they show a video of him.

Commercials.

We get a preview of “Gangsta Luv” by Snoop Dogg. PG This is not. Meanwhile, in Snoop Dogg’s office, he’s enjoying the fun of the divas and Hornswoggle comes in for our weekly comedy segment. Chavo is close behind and he wants to be on Team RAW. Jillian Hall comes in and she wants a Diva’s Title rematch tonight. She sings and Chavo wants to die. In comes Santino as Charlie Brown. Snoop Dogg kicks everyone out of the office. He asks for the bag and he proceeds to smoke a bowl while we get a clip of Michael Cole hugging Hornswoggle. We come back to a smoke-filled room and it is candles…

We get a clip of Michael Cole hugging Jerry Lawler. He probably felt sorry for his loss in the Mayoral Election.

Cena is thinking. Cena v. Trips NEXT!

Commercials.

Did You Know: Teenagers *did something* while viewing 100 million WWE Divas photos last month.

John Cena v. Triple H

The bell sounds and they jockey for position. Cena with a snapmare takeover and again and again…Attitude Adjustment early on, but Trips gets out of it. Opposite corners they stand and they jockey for position with a Greco-Roman knuckle lock. Cena turns it into a headlock, but Triple H gets to a vertical base. Cena off the ropes, he hits a shoulderblock. Trips gets a hiptoss countered to an hiptoss of his own and Cena gets the first cover of the match. Trips with the Greco-Roman knuckle lock, but Cena tries to overpower him. Trips knees himself out of it. Cena gets out of the corner and he sends Trips to the opposite corner. Trips rebounds and he explodes with a clothesline and that gets two. Trips tees off on Cena and we go pillar to post HARD. Cena is down in the corner and Trips goes to work. He sends Cena HARD into the corner again and scores a two count. He sends Cena hard in the corner again and he looks for the Pedigree. That gets countered into a hard Irish Whip with Trips falling over the top. Commercial break upcoming.

Commercials.

Tomorrow on ECW: Zack Ryder v. William Regal

We’re back as we approach eight minutes into the match. Trips hits Cena with a backbreaker and scores a two count. He drops the knee on Cena’s back and he continues with the pressure. Cena comes back with a right hand and they slug it out in the ring. Cena gets the upperhand, but Trips sends Cena to the ropes. Cena comes back with a shoulderblock. Another shoulderblock attempt ends badly for Cena. Cena tries the Attitude Adjustment, but Trips counters with a chopblock. Trips misses a clothesline, and finds himself in the STF. Trips gets to the ropes and he goes back to work on Cena. Cena sends Trips to the corner…FISHERMAN SUPLEX! Cena goes for the bulldog, but Trips counters and Cena is about to get Pedigreed. COUNTERED TO THE STF! Trips inches closer to the ropes, but Cena moves Trips to the center and that allows Trips to get the ropes. Cena back up…PEDIGREE! Trips gets a cover…TWO COUNT ONLY! Time for another commercial around 12:30 in.

Commercials.

We’re back and we are about 16:00 in. Cena gets back in the ring, but is met by Triple H. During the break, Cena got slammed into the steel steps. Cena tries again for the Attitude Adjustment, but Trips counters to a Sharpshooter! Randy Orton watches on the monitor as Cena gets to the ropes. Trips tees off on Cena, but he runs into a boot. Cena hits the shoulderblocks, followed by the Protobomb! Cena drops the Five Knuckle Shuffle and he has Trips up in the Attitude Adjustment, but Trips gets out of it AGAIN! High knee connects as does the faceplant. Cena off the ropes…SPINEBUSTER! Trips is feeling it and he attempts the Pedigree and he connects! He covers…TWO COUNT! Trips is beside himself! Cena kicked out of TWO PEDIGREES! He tries for a third, but Cena hits the Attitude Adjustment…TRIPS KICKS OUT! TRIPS KICKS OUT! Twenty minutes in now and Cena goes to the top rope. TOP ROPE FAMEASSER MISSES! Trips goes for the Pedigree, countered to the Attitude Adjustment, COUNTERED AGAIN TO THE PEDIGREE! That ends this epic match.

Winner: Triple H
Grade: A (Even marred by commercials, this was the match that AJ Styles and Sting should have put on at Bound for Glory.)

Triple H goes over to Cena and they shake hands in a show of respect. Cena looks dejected. Cena looks around the arena as Orton stares at the monitor. He gives a half-hearted salute and he leaves the ring.

Commercials.

Slam of the Week: The Miz and John Morrison disses Marty Jannetty and Shawn Michaels.

The Miz v. Some Jobber

Before the match, Snoop Dogg makes the jobber leave the ring and we get our rightful opponent…MARTY Jannetty!

The Miz v. Marty Jannetty

Lockup to start and Miz shoves Jannetty in the corner. Jannetty pie faces the Miz and he rolls him up for two. Miz misses a wild punch and Jannetty makes it known to the Miz that he’s awesome. That ends with Jannetty taking a 360 clothesline. Headlock applied and Jannetty comes back. Side slam connects and Jannetty takes Miz off his game. Back body drop connects and Jannetty goes up top. Fist Drop connects and Miz kicks out at two. They counter each other, but the Miz hangs him out on the top. Skull Crushing Finale connects and the Miz wins.

Winner: The Miz
Grade: C

We preview SmackDown v. RAW 2010.

Chavo Guerrero and Jillian Hall is discussing strategy. Diva’s Championship is on the line NEXT!

Commercials.

Did You Know: We ran out of good ideas, so we want to remind you that we are the longest weekly show in history.

WWE Diva’s Championship: Jillian Hall (w/Chavo Guerrero) v. Melina

The bell rings and Chavo causes a distraction, which allows Jillian to hit a weird Samoan Drop for two. She is on the offensive in the early going. Handspring elbow is blocked and Chavo gets involved again. Hornswoggle stops Chavo and this allows Melina to hit her split-legged drop for the three.

Winner: Melina
Grade: F

Chavo has Hornswoggle at the clutches, but Snoop Dogg comes out to save Hornswoggle. Chavo gets clotheslined over Hornswoggle and the shirt comes off. They circle the ring and Chavo gets speared. Thanks for coming, Chavo.

The divas come out and they dance with Snoop Dogg and Hornswoggle. Even Michael Cole tries to be cool. They pimp White Collar for Friday night on USA.

Commercials.

We run down the epic encounter between John cena and Randy Orton. After that, we run down the rest of the card to Bragging Rights.

Chris Jericho walks.

Commercials.

Kyle Busch and Joey Logano from NASCAR are your co-guest hosts next week. That should put the David Arquette rumor to rest for a week.

Chris Jericho v. Shawn Michaels

Chris Jericho grabs a microphone before the match. He says that he can knock Shawn out right now, but he brings out two members of Team SmackDown, Cryme Tyme. Shawn backs out of the ring and Kane leads out the rest of Team SmackDown. Shawn Michaels is still out of the ring and the entire SmackDown team is inside the ring. Jericho is interrupted by Triple H and the rest of Team RAW. They get inside the ring and Trips has the microphone. He thanks Jericho for doing the impossible – uniting the egos on Team RAW and he says that he will throw them all out.

EXCUSE ME!

Vickie Guerrero is on the stage…SLIMMER! She can see where this is going and as an official team consultant, she won’t allow it. If DX wants a fight, they will wait until Sunday. She orders Team SmackDown to leave the ring. Trips drives the point home, but Trips reminds Jericho that they don’t work for Vickie Guerrero. All Hell breaks loose!

Match Result: No Match

Show Over.

The WWE RAW Report Card

Chris Jericho v. Shawn Michaels never happened: N/R
Melina d. Jillian Hall: F
The Miz d. Marty Jannetty: C
Triple H d. John Cena: A
Randy Orton d. Ted DiBiase: N/R
Team Big Show d. Team MVP: F

The Final Grade for WWE RAW 10.19.09: A

Why an A for RAW? You have five matches. Two that had F grades, but the post match sheganigans made up for them. Triple H beats John Cena in a PPV-quality match. Orton and DiBiase was a good angle that helps DiBiase more than anything else. This show was a GREAT show tonight so I was willing to overlook the lackluster matches. I was entertained greatly.

As always, have a great week!

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