CHIKARA Chronicles: Cibernetico Shocker

Columns, Features

Most wrestling companies usually start shutting down and wrapping up feuds towards the end of each year, but it certainly appears that CHIKARA will not follow down that typical route. The fallouts of “An Optimistic View of a Pessimistic World” and “Cibernetico Increible” only created more question marks, in my eyes.

If you have not heard what happened at “Cibernetico Increible” already, then you are certainly in for a shock as to seeing who wound up winning the main event Cibernetico match. Out of multiple message boards I visited, only one man predicted the correct winner of the bout. With all that taken into consideration, below are all of the details and results you need to know regarding CHIKARA’s October shows.

Immediately following the results of “An Optimistic View of a Pessimistic World” and “Cibernetico Increible”, be prepared to dive right into a few new card updates for CHIKARA’s two season finale events, “Throwing Life’s Instructions Away” in Easton and “Three-Fisted Tales” in Philadelphia.

CHIKARA “An Optimistic View of a Pessimistic World” (10.17.2009); Easton, PA

– Before the show began, it was announced on CHIKARA’s Twitter page that Chad Badd and Brad Badd, the Bad Boyz, were held up at the Canadian border and thus, would be unable to compete in both, Easton and Philadelphia. No more Badd Boyz versus the Future Is Now or Dasher Hatfield and Sugar Dunkerton.

● Vin Gerard defeated Lince Dorado via pinfall (2K1 Bomb).

● Claudio Castagnoli defeated Player Uno (UFO).

● Four-way elimination tag team match:Ophidian and Amasis beat Dasher Hatfield and Sugar Dunkerton, Matt Jackson and Nick Jackson, as well as Icarus and Chuck Taylor via pinfall (Osirian Sacrament).

● Helios defeated Hallowicked via pinfall (630 senton).

● Jigsaw defeated STIGMA via pinfall (sunset bomb).

● NWA World Junior Heavyweight Championship: Mike Quackenbush defeated Sal Rinauro via pinfall (headlock takeover) to retain his title.

● UltraMantis Black and Crossbones beat Green Ant and Carpenter Ant via pinfall (Praying Mantis Bomb).

РDuring the match, V̦koder distracted the referee and slid the Order of the Neo-Solar Temple staff to UltraMantis Black, which UltraMantis proceeded to nail Green Ant with. Black then finished the Colony with a Praying Mantis Bomb for the pinfall.

● Young Lions Cup Championship: Player Dos defeated Frightmare via pinfall (B13) to retain the trophy.

● Campeonatos de Parejas: Fire Ant and Soldier Ant beat Brodie Lee and Grizzly Redwood via pinfall (spiked Beach Break) to retain their belts.

CHIKARA “Cibernetico Increible” (10.18.2009); Philadelphia, PA

– Louden Noxious announced to the crowd that Eddie Kingston would be unable to compete on the show because his nose was broken at a recent Combat Zone Wrestling event. Kingston’s match against BJW rookie, Ryuichi Kawakami, was scrapped.

● Dasher Hatfield and Sugar Dunkerton beat El Hijo del Ice Cream and Ice Cream Jr. via pinfall (Grand Slam Dunk).

● Vin Gerard defeated Ryuichi Kawakami via submission (STF).

● Daizee Haze and Bullfight Sora beat Sara Del Rey and La Malcriada via disqualification (excesivo castigo).

● Claudio Castagnoli defeated Sal Rinauro via submission (Giant Swing).

● Crossbones, Icarus, and Colin Delaney beat UltraMantis Black, Chuck Taylor, and STIGMA via pinfall (prawn hold).

– For the second night in a row, Vökoder attempted to toss UltraMantis Black his staff during the match. This time, however, Chikarason interfered and kicked Vökoder from ringside. Shortly after that, two “BDK” men appeared in the audience and chased off Black, which led to the finish moments later.

● Ophidian and Amasis beat Brodie Lee and Grizzly Redwood via pinfall (Osirian Sacrament).

– After the Portal gained three points and left the ring, Brodie Lee laid Grizzly Redwood out with a big boot. Grizzly has since been removed for the CHIKARA roster page, indicating that he’s most likely done with the promotion.

● Torneo Cibernetico: Carpenter Ant beat Mike Quackenbush, Hallowicked, Player Uno, Nick Jackson, Lince Dorado, Cheech Hernandez, Soldier Ant, Fire Ant, Jigsaw, Matt Jackson, Player Dos, K.C. “Cloudy” Day, Frightmare, Green Ant, and Helios via submission (inverted CHIKARA Special) to win the annual bout.

– It should be noted that Soldier Ant was the final wrestler eliminated. CHIKARA officially recognizes the move that Carpenter Ant finished Soldier off with simply as a “submission hold”. I have heard from various people in attendance, though, that it was an inverted CHIKARA Special.

CHIKARA “Throwing Life’s Instructions Away” (11.21.2009); Easton, PA

HUSTLE star and protégé of TAJIRI, Yujiro Kushida, will be making his CHIKARA debut in Easton, Pennsylvania against the current-reigning Young Lions Cup Champion, Player Dos. Dos has looked more than impressive in recent CHIKARA outings and will undeniably give Kushida a fight for everyone’s money. Unless things change, it does not appear that the Young Lions Cup will be on the line in this bout. Regardless, this match should still be great and I’m certainly looking forward to seeing what both men can do when put one on one in the squared circle.

The tandem of Dasher Hatfield and Sugar Dunkerton can now be referred to as the “Throwbacks”. After picking up one point against Los Ice Creams at “Cibernetico Increible”, it seems inevitable that more of Sugar Dunkerton will be seen in the future. I’m a huge fan of Sugar, so CHIKARA gets a thumbs up from me. Taking on the Throwbacks in Easton will be none other than Icarus and Chuck Taylor of F.I.S.T. Apparently, the Throwbacks and F.I.S.T. got into some sort of confrontation in the four-way elimination match at “An Optimistic View of a Pessimistic World”. This tag bout will obviously serve to wrap up some “unfinished business”, as CHIKARA puts it.

Call me a pansy, but there may be a tear or two in my eye following this “loser leaves CHIKARA” match. Donst attacked Hydra after the Sea Donsters lost a six-man tag team match at “Young Lions Cup VII: Night 3”. An exhibition match was set for “Man Makes Plans, and God Laughs”, but Donst beat up Hydra before the bell and quickly locked in a submission, which the “Mini-Man Monster” quickly tapped out to. During an award ceremony for Jeff “Lobsterman” Costa, Hydra was once again attacked by Tim Donst. This feud will finally come to an end in Easton. Hydra laid down the challenge in a blog, and Donst quickly accepted in a blog of his own. After “Throwing Life’s Instructions Away”, one of these men will remain in CHIKARA, while the other will be gone for good.

CHIKARA “Three-Fisted Tales” (11.22.2009); Philadelphia, PA

If Yujiro Kushida of HUSTLE does not manage to defeat Player Dos in Easton, he will get another shot at being victorious in a CHIKARA ring when he takes on Helios of the Future Is Now. Helios picked up a huge win over Hallowicked at “An Optimistic View of a Pessimistic View” and continued his success in the actual Torneo Cibernetico bout by being one of the last men eliminated from the match. While this match may not look like much upon first seeing it on paper, a win for either men could bring back a lot to their respective home promotions of CHIKARA and HUSTLE.

Rumor has it that Jorge “Skayde” Rivera will be on hand for both season finale events, so look out for him to be booked for an Easton match in the future. Meanwhile, though, Mike Quackenbush, Jigsaw, and Skayde will have to get prepared to face the most dangerous trio in CHIKARA, F.I.S.T. Let’s not forget that Akuma, Icarus, and Taylor won this year’s King of Trios tournament, after all. It’s virtually impossible to predict a winning team for this bout, as they’re both equally stacked up. Will it be Quack and his friends that walk out of Philadelphia in triumph or F.I.S.T. that continues their winning trios ways?

Lince Dorado has had a rather unsuccessful run in CHIKARA this year, but has certainly made leaps and strides as of late. For what it’s worth, a lot of internet fans were not too high on Lince through much of 2008. Recently, though, he has slowly gained back quite a big fan base and rightfully so. There have not been too many CHIKARA wrestlers that have looked as impressive as Lince as of late. After pinning both, Dos and Jigsaw, in the Torneo Cibernetico match at “Cibernetico Increible”, Leonard F. Chikarason was apparently impressed enough to give the “Golden Lynx of Lucha Libre” a shot at the Young Lions Cup. Will Dos gain his third defense of the Cup or will Lince pick up arguably the biggest victory of his young career?

For the first time ever, CHIKARA will see a “respect” match0 on the company’s last show of 2009. The goal of the match is simple: beat your opponent until he tells the world that he respects you. It’s no secret that Kingston and Claudio go a while back. Heck, Kingston even wrote a powerful blog and made that more than evident recently. What makes this match more than interesting is the fact that Castagnoli has been hinting at turning rudo lately and Kingston’s been showing signs of turning tecnico. Whatever the outcome may be, though, this match should definitely be fantastic.

Links For Looking

The next Dragon Gate USA event is almost upon us, in which the first Open The Freedom Gate Champion will be crowned in Philadelphia at “Open The Freedom Gate” this November. CIMA, Brian Kendrick, YAMATO, Nick Jackson, BxB Hulk, Davey Richards, Mike Quackenbush, Matt Jackson, and Super Crazy have all been announced for the title tournament. Let’s keep our fingers crossed for a huge Quack title win. Tickets are available now. In addition, DGUSA has also released their first pay-per-view on DVD. Without a doubt, pick up the show as soon as possible. It was beyond terrific on television and with added extras, it can only be even better.

Ever want one of those sweet Chikara WrestleFactory hoodies? If so, you better get down to placing your order for one as soon as possible. The only place that you can do so is on the CHIKARA Fans message board. CHIKARA is looking to get only the exact amount made that they have orders for, so make sure you act fast. If you have not seen the hoodies already, they are pretty awesome-looking.

Episodes 183 and 184 of the CHIKARA Podcast-A-Go-Go have been posted up. These are the last episodes that feature King of Trios 2009 coverage. Matches included are Kota Ibushi versus Player Dos and the King of Trios finals between Gran Akuma, Icarus, and Chuck Taylor of F.I.S.T. versus Claudio Castagnoli, Dave Taylor, and Bryan Danielson of Team Uppercut. Two excellent matches that I highly recommend giving a look at it you haven’t already.

Dasher Hatfield replica masks are now available on the shop page of the official CHIKARA website. For just twenty bucks, you could potentially be all set with a Halloween costume. Jigsaw and Soldier Ant masks are also still in inventory as of the time I am writing this article. While you’re at it, maybe even pick up an a Super Smash Brothers or Cheech and Cloudy shirt, as well.

Fox News anchor, Clayton Morris, and founding father of CHIKARA, Mike Quackenbush, get together once a week to record a new episode of the Grizzly Bear Egg Cafe. I feel like a broken record whenever I say this, but the Grizzly Bear Egg Cafe is easily my favorite podcast on all of the internet at the moment. Clayton and Mike talk about everything from their childhood to comic books to movies. The fifty-third episode was apparently posted within the last few hours, so give that a listen if you get a chance and let the guys know what you think.

Pulse Plugs

Kevin Thayer makes his Pulse Wrestling debut in “The Thayer Report“, in which he takes a look at the current state of managers being used in professional wrestling. Will there ever be another Bobby “The Brain” Heenan or will we be stuck with people like Don West for the rest of our lives?

Andy Wheeler analyzes the WWE departure of Shane McMahon, as well as multiple other issues that are currently surrounding the biggest wrestling company in the world in “For Your Consideration“. Enjoy your future endeavors, Shaney.

Desmond Wolfe debuted on TNA television this past Thursday by attacking Kurt Angle. Take a look at Pulse Glazer’s opinions on Nigel McGuinness’ situation before spoilers surfaced up in “A Modest Blog“. A few days outdated, but nevertheless, a really good read.

Michael O’Mahony asked you, the readers, a question regarding what the most important aspect of being a heavyweight champion is. In this week’s edition of “Poll Position“, O’Mahony breaks down the options one by one. Interesting results, may I add.