Tonight’s epside goes up against the World Series. Since the Phillies are beating the Yankees 6-1 in the 4th, there will probably be plenty of folks that will click back to watch tonight’s episode. The lack of being OnDemand or on Hulu give The Bang a watch now (or at least DVR) thrill.
“The Cornhusker Vortex” brings us back to the geeks versus jock life battle. Although with the advances in John Madden Football video games, you’d expect more geeks to get into the gridiron action. Finally they can play without fear of having their retainers get stomped in the mud.
The guys race down the stairs waving colorful kites. They chant, “Kite Ho!” They look like Japanese anime characters. Sheldon has to correct them on their usage of “Ho.” Penny shows up in a Nebraska t-shirt, tight shorts and grocery bags. The guys are going off to kite fight. They ask if she’d want to come along. She’s got the Cornhuskers game to watch on TV with friends. She gives Leonard a peck and promises they might be able to do something later. Leonard thinks this sucks. Sheldon has ignored their exchange and asks what sucks. Raj explains how Penny views Leonard as a little man who plays with kites and hides him from her other friends.
If your girlfriend doesn’t invite you to hang out with her friends, it better be because the theme is selling candles or watching reruns of Gilmore Girls. And make sure she is at least humored by your hobbies. I had a pal who was really into the society of creative anarchism. He loved to run around fighting with sticks. His fiance (at the time) thought it was highly juvenile and plotted with his own mother to give him an intervention. The engagement was called off. But he never got back the ring. That was a couple thousand dollars wasted because he didn’t do a background check. Remember that your potential spouse doesn’t have to love something as much as you. She just has to love watching you involved in your freaky hobby.
This is one hot Victoria Secrets bra ad for the Bombshell support system. The Big Bang Theory is getting rather fine advertisers. In their old slot, The Bang seemed to get more dog food and cash for gold ads. Now it’s primo time. Here’s the “I’m a Mac. I’m a PC” ad. In case you’re curious, this is being done on a Mac. Oddly enough, I’ve met John Hodgman. In person, he has the rugged handsome looks of a young Clint Eastwood. When will he get his own TV show? Maybe a nonsense version of the BBC’s Connections with him in the role of James Burke.
The guys are kite fighting in a park. Sheldon wants to take out Raj and Howard. He’s got a plan. But Leonard can’t focus. He’s worried about Penny. It looks like they’re in an actual park instead of the Brady Bunch’s backyard. Howard gets distracted by a female jogger. Raj’s kite gets taken out by Sheldon.
On the drive back, Raj is furious at Howard for letting him down. Howard swears he would have got her if he hadn’t pulled his hammy. Raj points out that at 80 pounds, Howard doesn’t have any hammies. Up front in the car Leonard worries about not watching the game with Penny. Sheldon plays on Leonard’s fears by suggesting this is her way of picking a new mate. Raj asks if Sheldon will give him back his kite. But no. There are rules. And the rules allow Sheldon to taunt Raj that he lost his kite.
Here is a good rule when gambling with friends: Don’t bet anything you wouldn’t set on fire. Although if you lose them to your friend, don’t set them on fire afterward. That’s being a bad loser.
Leonard visits Penny’s apartment. The football party is over and only the pizza bones remain. Penny is happy cause “We won!” Leonard asks why they say, “We won?” The team won the game; not the fans. It’s not like he shouts, “We beat the Empire” while watching Star Wars. Leonard blurts out his fear that she’s hiding him from her friends. She invites him over for the next game. Some of her friends’ girlfriends don’t get the game either. They just get drunk and talk about other stuff. Leonard doesn’t want to be just another girlfriend.
Back at his apartment, Leonard is reading Football for Dummies while watching a New England Patriots game. Raj notices they advertising beer and erection pills. He figures if guys didn’t get full of beer, they might not have issues with their ladies. Howard shows up. He needed Raj to help him pick up the Vespa. Raj didn’t realize they are still friends. He’s tired of being dumped when Howard spots a woman that he doesn’t have a chance of meeting. The duo have issues.
Leonard gets confused at what the football announcers are saying. He can’t grasp the vocabulary. Sheldon breaks down what various football terms mean. Howard can’t believe his friend has this knowledge. Since Sheldon grew up in Texas, he knows everything about football including soccer being a communist plot. He also knows about chicken frying meat. Leonard begs his roomie to teach him football. He’s resistant until Leonard makes a tier one friendship request. The roomie can’t refuse it. Sheldon tells Leonard to sit down and shut up since that’s how he learned from his dad.
Football is a pretty hard sport to completely understand. Mainly because they keep changing the rules to protect the quarterback. It’s turning into flag football in the NFL. Although at the same time, the concussion rate is soaring so you can’t completely blame them. No need for a guy to get that much brain damage for the sake of entertainment. Although the money is good. Enough people take head blows for free, why not risk a shot to the dome for a cool million?
Sheldon makes toast in a Battlestar Galactica Cylon toaster. It burns a Cylon head on the bread. Leonard enters the kitchen wearing a Nebraska football jersey. Sheldon thinks it’s more like a football dress on his little pal. The only size smaller was made for dogs. Sheldon thinks it’s kinda sad what his roomie is willing to do in order to maintain an intimate relationship with Penny. He asks, “Don’t you have access to women that will do it for money?” He mentions it’s another way to use the word “Ho.” He offers to let Leonard take Cylon toast to the party.
Howard shows up at Raj’s house with a peace offering: a new kite. Raj is upset because his lost authentic fighting kite can’t be replaced by a Hello Kitty kite. He’s sick of Howard’s libido antics. Turns out the weekend before Howard dumped him to hit on the gal at Hotdog on a Stick. Howard brings up how Raj can’t hit on ladies without getting drunk. Things get nasty and Howard realizes he can’t let this elevate. He suggests they should go somewhere nice? Raj wants to go to the tar pits.
Leonard is going nuts while the rest of the room is dead silent. Turns out the play he was screaming over was a highlight from a decade ago. When the live game returns, Leonard gives too much information about a flagged play. He’s going Howard Cossell on them. Penny wants to put food in his mouth to shut him up. Sheldon knocks on the door. He needs bread for a sandwich. He asks Leonard how goes his Mimesis. This term throws the roomie. Sheldon explains this is mimicry to fit in with those around him. He swears it’s going fine. When invited to go kite flying, he turns it down because he wants to watch football. Penny says its cool if he goes to the park. Leonard insists on staying since there’s only three more minutes left on the game clock. Turns out that’s three minutes till halftime. Leonard excuses himself. The jockish crowd stares at him as he leaves. Penny explains that Leonard is her boyfriend and he’s really smart.
Now that’s a touching moment since it’s obvious that she isn’t using this to find her next he-man beau. She seems comfortable not dragging him into her life as a Cornhusker fan. That’s good since you really should root for the school that gave you a diploma. Although at this moment, my school is so bad when it comes to football that I merely root that the head coach can keep from crying during the post-game press conferences. If you went to a really smart school, you should figure a way to mock the normal college kids. One of the great brainiac moments was during the 1984 Rose Bowl when future Nobel Prize winners broke into the scoreboard and had the teams changed to Cal Tech vs MIT. When it comes to watching football with a group of people, wincing loudly is better than a thousand words. Although once I got stuck with a guy who swore he gave up on football on TV when they stopped showing the cheerleaders at halftime and went back to the studio for score updates. I’m guessing he gave up on auto racing when they stopped hand cranking the engine at the end of pitstops.
Raj and Howard sit on a park bench. Raj admires his saber tooth tiger. It’s a perfect day. A cute girl walks past them. Howard comments, but doesn’t leave. Raj insists he go follow the girl. He swears the girl was checking Howard out. Howard bolts. Raj calls him a douche.
“The Cornhusker Vortex” reminds us of the things we compromise on for the sake of friendship and a relationship. Sometimes the new things are interesting. A lot of times you grin and bear it. The key thing is to take joy in them taking joy in their interests. Or in the case of Raj, getting a cheap laugh at Howard’s pathetic attempts to hook up.
