After last week’s review pointed out how rare it was to see real promos for The Bang, the folks at CBS worked double time in promoting this week’s episode. Granted they have the greatest “how did this happen” clip with Howard in a bubble bath with Katee Sackhoff. Is this real, a fantasy or some cyberspace side project from Howard that involves those high tech glasses and gloves? How can Howard hook up with Starbuck from the new version of Battlestar Galactica? Did he win a contest or claim he was a Make A Wish kid? Maybe he really does have made skills with the ladies? Can his technique be replicated for anyone else wanting to soap up with her? This might be the highest rated episode of the series until it gets its rumored slot after the Super Bowl.
“The Vengeance Formulation” opens with Howard and Bernadette (Melissa Rauch) walking up to her apartment entrance. They first met on “Creepy Candy Coating Corollary.” Howard finishes a joke. She doesn’t get it, but doesn’t care as long as Howard thinks it’s funny. She asks where he thinks this is going. He suggests second base. She points out that this is their third date and that means sex. She wants to know if he’s looking for a relationship or a one night stand. He ponders if there’s only one correct answer. He can’t answer other than saying sometimes a one night stand turn into a relationship. She kisses him on the cheek and tells him to call her when he figures it out. Howard returns to Leonard’s apartment. Leonard is on the sofa with Penny eating popcorn and watching TV. They wonder why he’s home already. Howard is still confused over the third date equalling sex.
The third date might not always equal sex, but it does represent the line where you are dating or turning into a new furniture moving pal. There is no worse moment than that sad realization that you’ll hear the “sex will ruin our friendship” talk. The sad part is that eventually your friendship is going to be ruined. One of you will get into a serious relationship and your partner won’t enjoy you having an opposite sex friend that you once wanted to seduce. So why not ruin it with sex? At least you’ll have a great excuse why it all went bad instead of thinking that at any moment that person will call up and beg for a night of passion from you.
Back at the lunchroom, Howard brings up the third date equalling sex. None of the guys know about it. Leonard swears it took two years before hooking up with Penny, but it was three dates. So it might be true. Sheldon approaches with excited with major news to share. Barry Kripke (John Ross Bowie) scoops the moment by announcing Sheldon is going to be on NPR radio with Ira Flatow. Sheldon is upset that his surprise has been ruined. Barry wants to know why NPR is scrapping the bottom of the barrel for guests. Sheldon swears it’s a pledge week booster. His mother and her prayer group will listen and then prayer for his soul.
Back at the apartment, Sheldon goes through his notes. He wants to know if the simple man can understand his speaking points. He hands them to Howard. Howard protests since he has a Masters from MIT. He’s still the dumb guy in the room. Penny shows up and demands Raj talk to her. His mouth is open and nothing comes out. She’s just giving him the business. Penny wants to know why Howard hasn’t talked to Bernadette? He comes up with excuses that he expects a fantasy woman like Megan Fox or Katee Sackhoff. He doesn’t want to settle like Penny has. Leonard gets upset as she talks of not really settling. Howard wants to know why he can’t he long for inner beauty wrapped in the carmel deliciousness of Halle Barry. Raj whispers in Howard’s ear. His friend reassures him that Raj is also wrapped in carmel deliciousness. Sheldon agrees there’s nothing wrong with Howard’s approach although it might not be good for humanity.
In a storage room Kripkie listens to the radio and adjusts the valve on a canister of helium. There’s a pipe behind a bookcase in Sheldon’s office. He’s on the phone with Ira. Sheldon’s voice goes up in pitch as the office fills with helium. In the lunch room, Kripke holds up the radio while everyone laughs at Sheldon’s rising cartoon voice.
How mean of Kripkie. Here’s a guy who on his off hours is shopping for insurance with that perky online lady. Now he must destroy Sheldon’s moment with helium. He’s worse than Wil Wheaton. Maybe the finale is going to have Kripkie and Wheaton team up to bring Sheldon to his knees? While Leonard and Penny seemed to be rather sedate in most of the episode, having her talk about settling has brought a little anxious fear in the geek love.
Bring on Katee and the bubble bath!
Howard is in the bubble bath with Katee. He’s thrilled to see her. She’s announces that it’s always nice to be part of his masturbatory fantasies. She wants to know why he’s playing make believe with her when he could be with a real woman. She’s talking reality to the boy. He does his best to keep things going with the sparkling sci-fi superstar even if she wants him to hook up with Bernadette instead of using a wash cloth. The fantasy is ruined when Howard’s mom screeches too much information about sharing the tub.
Damn it. Why was Katee merely a fantasy? Oh well. It’s good to see her since she had to bail on Nip/Tuck this season. She’s going to be on the new season of 24. She should have been cast as the Face on the A-Team movie. Why not let her get a career replacing Dirk Benedict in his signature roles?
Sheldon lays in the bed looking upset. Raj and Leonard enter. They want to help him, but first Raj announces that he represents the Lollipop Guild. He’s giving him the business with the squeaky voice action. Leonard tries cheer him up, but admits he did laugh during the prank. But now they want to help him. Raj has come to mock. Leonard suggests Sheldon gets revenge. They talk of the Joker escaping Arkham Asylum and poisoning the water supply. Sheldon suggest poisoning Kripke. It’s too extreme. He thinks of a whoopie cushion. They need to find a happy medium.
At the Cheesecake Factory, Howard begs Penny to talk to Bernadette. She won’t. When Bernadette enters, Howard gets on his knee and asks her to marry him. She thinks its comedy she can’t understand. But he really means it. He can’t find someone like her. She’s the one. She isn’t sure since they haven’t even had sex. “When’s your break?” he asks. She walks off. He looks around the room and announces, “Don’t you just hate when that happens?”
Sheldon mixes up chemicals in the kitchen. He’s Breaking Bad. He’s got an evil plan that involves foamy vengeance. It will be unleashed in Kripke’s lab. He’s already planted the chemicals in the ceiling. Raj calls Sheldon a young Lex Luther. Leonard is impressed. He sits down and gets the whoopee cushion. In the monitor they see Kripke enter, but he’s not alone. There’s school bigwigs with him. Sheldon doesn’t have an abort switch on his project. The foam covers the room. Leonard feels semi-safe since they won’t be able to trace it to them. In the lab, a TV comes and plays video of Sheldon announcing this is his revenge. He also names Leonard and Raj as his helpers. Raj turns to the duo and says, “I’m going back to India, what’s your plan?”
Always have an abort switch on your diabolical plans. You never know when something will go completely wrong. A good hitman understands the escape route and when it’s not the right time to pull the trigger. At least the good ones in movies about hitmen. But since this is a sitcom, trouble must ensue from brilliant plans. Otherwise what would be the entire point of I Love Lucy. In the sitcom universe you commit to the plan.
Back at the Cheesecake factory Penny and Bernadette are working. Penny offers to have Howard thrown out of the restaurant since he’s fooling around with a microphone on the band stage. He dedicates a song to her and sings about Bernadette and how he’s sorry. He begs for one more chance. Penny is so sorry. Bernadette finds it the most romantic things anyone has ever done for her.
I’m wondering if the series is getting a kickback from the Cheesecake Factory since it’s obvious this set doesn’t look like a Cheesecake Factory. They don’t even have menus that are as thick as the phone book. You don’t even see that much cheesecake on the tables. They’re not even dressed liked the waitresses I’ve had various Cheesecake Factories. This looks more like a Ruby Tuesdays.
Howard’s plea to getting her back is that gambit that sometimes works. Remember that when in doubt about a relationship: if you know you’ve been a dork, admit to it. Most women appreciate such sweet honesty. Remember to keep such a confession short without any real details that might derail the moment.
“The Vengeance Formulation” was a satisfying meal of an episode with both stories pushing Howard and Sheldon into desperate moments. Raj gets to show a little backbone by ragging on Sheldon. The domesticated Sheldon is kept to a minimum as the support character in both stories. This was an episode worthy of the extra hype even if Katee was merely a bathtub fantasy.
Next week is a rerun of “The Electric Can Opener Fluctuation” that opened the season.
