So, I know you’re probably still looking for the update from last week. As it turns out, the rest of the country didn’t enjoy watching the ass-whooping my beloved Baltimore Ravens dished up on the Cleveland Browns (and karma being what it was, we got ours coming from the most-hated Indianapolis Colts on Sunday, anyway). Anyway, because my CBS station carried the game and then hosed up the replay of HIMYM, I have only seen the last five seconds of last week’s episode.
And it was a good one, apparently. But we’ll catch it later on this season when it’s “New to Me” or when I finally get a few moments to track it down online.
In the meantime, sorry Cleveland. And confidential to my friend Andy, I agree that Peyton is a TALENTED Quarterback. But Johnny U is now and will ever be the “Best there Ever Was.” I’ll even wager a Slap Bet on it, if you insist.
Speaking of Slap Bets, this was the theme of this week’s episode. For those of you just catching up, a couple of years ago Marshall and Barney made a bet, the loser of which would have to endure five slaps at the hands of the winner. I don’t remember what the bet was about. It’s probably not important. But the beauty of this bet was that Barney would never know when they were coming.
He’s used 3 so far.
Marshall and Lily are hosting Thanksgiving, and Marshall found the perfect 22 lb organic turkey. Unfortunately, he left it in the cab. Depressed, he left Ted and Robin in charge of obtaining the “pathetic replacement turkey.” When they turned up with the REAL one that they’d managed to track down at Port Authority, he was so happy, he offered up The Fourth Slap. It’s going to be “Slapsgiving 2: The Revenge of the Slap.” After checking with Slap-Bet Commissioner, Lily, and determining that, yes, slaps are transferrable, Marshall laid down a few rules:
- Rule #1: The Slap must take place before sundown so as not to interfere with Lily’s meal.
- Rule #2: Robin and Ted must decide amongst themselves who gets to do it.
- Rule #3: Barney’s tied to a chair aka The Slapping Throne.
Thanksgiving’s moving along swimmingly until Lily’s Dad, Mickey (Chris Elliot), shows up. Lily hasn’t seen or spoken to him in three years after an incident in which she learned that he’d ruined her grandparents financially and forced them to go back to work so that he could pursue his dream of creating the next great board game. This, coupled with the fact that he’d never shown up to anything Lily deemed important (ballet recitals, gymnastic meets), and he’s officially “Dead to Her.”
Note: if you’re trying to picture Lily’s “Dead to Me” look…remember on Buffy when Tara died and Willow went a little crazy with the black eyes and the evil wild hair? Same thing. Red eyes.
She’s used the look before. Including when the neighbor stole her newspaper; when her bridesmaid Whitney insulted her wedding dress; and when the guy at the bodega gave her caffeinated coffee when she specifically asked for Decaf.
And now Mickey’s at the door with his new hit game, “Diseases.” Lily wants Marshall to get rid of him. Ted and Robin are sympathetic, but all Barney can think of is the impending slap. Marshall doesn’t get why she can’t give the guy some turkey. She points out that her mom worked two jobs while all dad did was spend his time at the Board Game Conventions and gave her braces money to a guy who claimed to be Milton Bradley. Marshall doesn’t get it, and considering how close his family is, Lily knew he wouldn’t.
Ted and Robin are still fighting over who gets to slap Barney, including Ted lying that he’s still in love with Robin just so he can slap Barney.
Then Marshall reveals things he shouldn’t know. Like the fact that Mickey’s no longer living with his parents and is paying back his IRS debts. He tells Lily that he had a drink with him the week before and invited him to Thanksgiving. Since Lily and Marshall are married, he’s Marshall’s family too. Marshall opens the door, and Lily walks out.
Dinner’s ready. Robin, Marshall, Mickey, and Ted are playing Diseases. Barney’s drinking on the couch. Lily’s been gone for half an hour. When Ted doesn’t roll fast enough his “gall bladder explodes,” sending lead paint all over the turkey. Marshall gives Mickey his “Dead to Me” look and throws Mickey out.
Marshall heads downstairs and finds Lily in the bodega downstairs. She tells him that the bodega owner died a while ago, and now he’s really dead to her. She needs to find her dad.
Robin gives the slap to Ted. He gets up and realizes he can’t do it. It goes to Robin. She can’t do it either. She gives it to Mickey. Who gives it to Lily. Who can’t do it either. Marshall says it’s part of his master plan to bring them all together, and that’s why there is no slap today.
And then he slaps Barney.
Bumper Scene: Mickey’s finally found a concept that works. The Game: Slap Bet!
