Welcome to the special Christmassy 133rd (!) LEAVE YOUR SPANDEX AT THE DOOR!
Every year since the launch of the Nexus, we have invited our favourite comics talents and most promising new creators from each year to do a holiday-themed Roundtable! This year to honor our Nexus-versary I’ve decided to compiled the BEST OF from these columns and re-feature my favourite creators from our long-running Nexus tradition!
MANOLIS: The Fourth Wall breaks, just in time for Christmas, and long enough for you to give a special Christmas present to one of your characters. Who’s the lucky sod and what is he/she going away with?
Peter David (2004): Fallen Angel. I’d try to give her another several years of publication. Then again, that’s what I’m already trying to do, so we’ll see if it works.
Mike Carey (2005): Vampirella – I’d give her some thermal underwear and knee-length socks. I worry a lot about her catching cold.
(2006) I’d give Omega Sentinel a set of long-handled spanners and socket wrenches. You know, for those hard-to-reach places.
(2003) I’d give Lucifer one of those motivational wall posters with a cute kitten and a slogan like “If you can make somebody smile, You’ll know your day has been worthwhile.” And a pair of fake Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer antlers that light up when you move your head. He needs to lighten up a bit, bless him.
Jamie S. Rich (2003): I’d let Bleu Finnegan indulge her taste for older men and do things that are illegal in some states of the union. Is that what you wanted to hear?!
Ben Templesmith (2005): My characters? Probably the nicest present would be a few bullets to the head to one of the vampires or other I’ve drawn. Ho ho ho.
Duncan Fegredo (2005): Cough drops for Batman, doing the whole ‘creature of the night’ thing must play hell with his throat.
Or if I was a truly sad pathetic guy guaranteed that my lovely wife would never read this I wouldn’t mind giving Buffy my email…. yes yes, not a comic character, who cares?
Jimmy Palmiotti (2006): I would have a foursome with Phantom Lady, Colleen Wing and Misty Knight. Really, it’s the best gift I can give them. Oh wait, Amanda wants to have a talk with me…next question please?
Scott Lobdell (2006): Hmmm. I was going to say Deathlok, with a copy of “Computers for Dummies”. Then I thought Iron Fist, a bottle of skin conditioner.
Then I thought maybe Tigra could use a gift certificate to Petsmart, and Silver Surfer a shopping spree at Bed Bath and Way Way Way Beyond.
Then I thought I was being unfair to the DC characters, and thought that it would be cute to give Batman and Catwoman each other’s screennames but not tell them who they other is and watch as they fall in love and then agree to meet each other in a mall on New Year’s Day (aaaaw, I am getting misty eyed just thinking about ti!)…
…and I’d get Batgirl a retcon where she was washing her hair that night that the Joker knocked on her door and after a few minutes he forgot why he was there.
Bone would get a thirteen part crossover where he has to team up with an alternate reality clone from a future timewar doppelganger, the Grrrl Scouts would stop over and I’d be nice enough
to buy a year’s supply of thin mints, and to the The Mighty Heroes I would give a screenplay.
Finally, it occurred to me I could offer Alpha Flight an apology and say “Hey! I tried!” = )
Nate Cosby (2007): Merry Christmas, Cyclops. Here’s a personality.
Jason Aaron (2007): If I wanted to be a nice guy, I’d give Dash Bad Horse from SCALPED a free psychiatrist evaluation and maybe some anger management classes. But if I did that, I’d have no story, so better luck next year, Dash
Nicola Scott (2007): Barbara Gordon. I’d give her the key to The Jokers cell at Arkham. To, um… spread Christmas cheer
Ed Brubaker (2003): Holden, from Sleeper. I’d get him a Presidential Pardon, and maybe his own private island.
Axel Alonso (2006): For Luke Cage, a copy of Clipse’s new CD, “Hell Hath No Fury”. The best Hip Hop album in years.
Mark Paniccia (2006): I’m getting HULK a new shadow-forged two-ton mace so he can give Sentry a good reason to get a new smile.
Jeff Parker (2006): I’d give Gorilla-Man an iPod. The 80 gig one, too. Think how much fun he could have watching movies and listening to tunes that the Human Robot could download for him constantly!
Paul Cornell (2007): I’d give Pete Wisdom Kitty Pryde’s e-mail address
MANOLIS: Thank you everyone! Merry Christmas to all and I hope you have the best of holidays!
Tune in later today for part 2 and your favourite creators giving gift ideas for younger readers for X-Mas!
