Two of the biggest sparkles (and not Robin, per se) from Sunday night’s Oscar ceremony united on this week’s episode. I speak, of course, of Neil Patrick Harris and Jennifer Lopez.
It all starts with Ted telling the kids that Barney was pulled out of the Hudson River. He starts telling the story to the cop. It turns out, the week before, Barney was at the bar when Anita (Jennifer Lopez) picked him up. She’s like the female version of Barney, and she’s throwing him for a loop by the way she’s hot and heavy all evening and then bolts the second they get back to Barney’s.
When Barney complains to the group, Ted tells them that she’s probably read some self-help book about why a girl is still single. He starts going through the tips, and Barney starts checking them off.
- Inserting “sex” into the conversation.
- Making excuses to initiate physical contact.
- Giving him a lame excuse when he asks her out the next night
Of course, when Barney catches her in the lame-o excuse the book offers and calls her out on using the stupid book, Anita claims that the book is “brilliant.” It even advises that they not sleep together until Date 17. Lily thinks Barney should just give it up, but he’s determined to find the loophole that will make Anita give it up first.
Small problem with the loophole: It’s hard to find one when the girl (literally) wrote the book! Barney’s still determined to sleep with her, though. When Lily remarks later on how funny it is that the universe seemed to bring Barney and the Anti-Barney together, Robin confesses that she may have had a little something to do with it. She was on the show, and when Robin told her about Barney, Anita promised to “destroy” him. She’s not proud, but she was in a mourning period….A mourning period Marshall, apparently, didn’t know anything about. He’d been a jerk to Robin with all his talk about how busy Barney was getting.
After reading the book cover to cover, Barney still can’t find the loophole. Ted offers to plan the mega-date: seventeen dates worth of romance in one evening (carriage rides, champagne, dinner, and fireworks are just a few of the treats in store). He does it in song (a new trend has, clearly, been born). It’s gooey and romantic, and when Ted’s done with the song, only a trip to the strip club will save their bromance.
And in other news, Marshall meets Don and LOVES him for Robin. He thinks that she should scoop him up before someone else gets him, but Robin’s determined to play hard to get. Even when Marshall picks up the phone and accepts the date for her.
Saturday night arrives. Robin canceled on Don, even though an hour before, she was pretty stoked. Turns out Ted described the super-date, and that bummed Robin out to the point where she slipped and decided she wasn’t ready to start dating again, after all. He didn’t know about the mourning period, either. The boys and Lily rush into the restroom to comfort her. Then, they head to Barney’s to confront him, and Lily unloads everything.
And then, unfortunately, so does Barney. Realizing how upset Robin’s been, he throws up in the storm trooper helmet. They don’t know where she is, but Barney finds Robin at the shooting range. She asks if she’s just another number because he’s taking Anita out on a super-date when she never got treated that way. Barney admits that he sucked being a boyfriend, but he didn’t know how much he sucked at being an ex. He tells Robin to ask him for anything, and when she asks him not to sleep with Anita, he actually says yes.
And then (total squee), he gives the super-date to Robin and Don.
But when Anita shows up at the bar ready to confront him about standing her up, Barney says “No.” A lot. Desperate, she whispers a final offer that results in him not saying “Yes,” but instead jumps into the Hudson. The cop gives him a $500 ticket and says she hopes it was worth it. Barney sees the fireworks, and agree
Tags: How I Met Your Mother